“If it’s going to get ruined anyway, I’ll help you.”
Kaian threw away the ribbon he had untied and blatantly messed up ny hair.
As if he was praising a child, he stroked the top of my head with his hand, causing my thick hair to quickly become disheveled.
I was dumbfounded.
“You really don’t know a woman’s heart.”
“Should I know?”
“Isn’t it time you knew?”
I let out a short sigh and pushed my long hair that covered my face behind my shoulder. I puffed out my cheeks slightly in discontent and slyly glanced at Kaian.
“Do you think I put so much effort into my hair to impress someone?”
“What?”
Kaian opened his mouth slightly as if he had never thought of it.
“That’s ridiculous. Seriously.”
He picked up the ribbon that had been sacrificed in his childish prank and handed it to me.
“You can just do it again.”
“There’s no comb here.”
“Should I do it?”
“You?”
When I was dumbfounded, Kaian looked at the ribbon solemnly.
“Just try it.”
The big man’s actions of tying up my hair again like someone who’s trying to lock the barn after losing the horse tickled my heart.
‘You’re doing something that doesn’t suit you.’
He used to act like he would take good care of me.
These days, Kaian was more than before, not less.
“Then try it.”
I awkwardly turned my back to Kaian and sat down.
Sigh.
Hannah was used to combing my hair, so my body tensed up when his clumsy hands brushed my neck and shoulders.
‘Is it because there’s no mirror?’
Kaian had tried to comb my hair himself or put a necklace on me from behind like this.
It was strangely nerve-wracking not to know what kind of face the man behind me was making.
That’s because I had been a bit distant from Kaian lately.
'Why do the mind and body play separately?'
Leaving the palace and returning to Rowen, I glimpsed the depths of my emotions.
I missed Kaian in a terrible despair that seemed impossible to escape or sort out. I hated the man and said I could never forgive him as long as he believed that the baby was wrong, but I foolishly could not let him go.
Thinking back to the moment when he protected me and stabbed me, it felt like the broken world had exploded once again when I heard that the child was dead. I could not forget Kaian to that extent.
Now, I doubted whether the emotions that ran wild whenever I saw him were really because I resented and hated him.
Maybe I fell into the mud even more because I knew I would never be with him again because of the interests and tragedies surrounding them.
I thought there was no point in living anymore.
I wished that I would die as soon as possible and disappear like a speck of dust in the world. But when he found the ring and entered my heart, the emotions I had suppressed burst out.
'But why is this happening?'
The child and the husband.
I had barely found the warmth and happiness I had lost, but I acted as if I could not fully accept Kaian.
In the past, I had no problem with him touching my body.
Even if Kaian simply held my hand, lightly pressed his lips to my cheek as a greeting, or hugged me, I would hesitate or be startled.
Since I knew that it was Kaian, I was very self-conscious about that these days.
Also, since I also enjoyed feeling his body heat, being completely attached to him was not a problem. The only thing that was bothering me was being surprised every time Kaian tried to do something to me.
'He shouldn't think that I'm pushing him away.'
I should have acted naturally before worrying about that, but it was a problem because it didn't go as planned.
"Whew."
It was when I let out a sigh without realizing it.
The man who had roughly combed my hair with his hand and held it together with one hand, saying that he would fix the mess, suddenly touched the back of my neck which was exposed white.
"Whew."
I jumped up from my seat in surprise.
"Why are you so surprised?"
I shivered as his voice rose from the back of my neck to the back of my ear.
“Ka, Kaian. You said you’d tie my hair for me.”
“I can’t do it because I’m not used to it.”
It had been easy when he untied it.
Kaian's mumbling could be heard through my body.
When I hunched over and froze, Kaian grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. I couldn't turn around completely but was dragged diagonally as he did, and when my cheek touched his firm chest, I finally sighed and relaxed a little.
"Claudel."
When he called My name, my heart clenched. I thought he was going to complain about me being stiff.
'He never had patience.'
As if he was praising a child, he stroked the top of my head with his hand, causing my thick hair to quickly become disheveled.
I was dumbfounded.
“You really don’t know a woman’s heart.”
“Should I know?”
“Isn’t it time you knew?”
I let out a short sigh and pushed my long hair that covered my face behind my shoulder. I puffed out my cheeks slightly in discontent and slyly glanced at Kaian.
“Do you think I put so much effort into my hair to impress someone?”
“What?”
Kaian opened his mouth slightly as if he had never thought of it.
“That’s ridiculous. Seriously.”
He picked up the ribbon that had been sacrificed in his childish prank and handed it to me.
“You can just do it again.”
“There’s no comb here.”
“Should I do it?”
“You?”
When I was dumbfounded, Kaian looked at the ribbon solemnly.
“Just try it.”
The big man’s actions of tying up my hair again like someone who’s trying to lock the barn after losing the horse tickled my heart.
‘You’re doing something that doesn’t suit you.’
He used to act like he would take good care of me.
These days, Kaian was more than before, not less.
“Then try it.”
I awkwardly turned my back to Kaian and sat down.
Sigh.
Hannah was used to combing my hair, so my body tensed up when his clumsy hands brushed my neck and shoulders.
‘Is it because there’s no mirror?’
Kaian had tried to comb my hair himself or put a necklace on me from behind like this.
It was strangely nerve-wracking not to know what kind of face the man behind me was making.
That’s because I had been a bit distant from Kaian lately.
'Why do the mind and body play separately?'
Leaving the palace and returning to Rowen, I glimpsed the depths of my emotions.
I missed Kaian in a terrible despair that seemed impossible to escape or sort out. I hated the man and said I could never forgive him as long as he believed that the baby was wrong, but I foolishly could not let him go.
Thinking back to the moment when he protected me and stabbed me, it felt like the broken world had exploded once again when I heard that the child was dead. I could not forget Kaian to that extent.
Now, I doubted whether the emotions that ran wild whenever I saw him were really because I resented and hated him.
Maybe I fell into the mud even more because I knew I would never be with him again because of the interests and tragedies surrounding them.
I thought there was no point in living anymore.
I wished that I would die as soon as possible and disappear like a speck of dust in the world. But when he found the ring and entered my heart, the emotions I had suppressed burst out.
'But why is this happening?'
The child and the husband.
I had barely found the warmth and happiness I had lost, but I acted as if I could not fully accept Kaian.
In the past, I had no problem with him touching my body.
Even if Kaian simply held my hand, lightly pressed his lips to my cheek as a greeting, or hugged me, I would hesitate or be startled.
Since I knew that it was Kaian, I was very self-conscious about that these days.
Also, since I also enjoyed feeling his body heat, being completely attached to him was not a problem. The only thing that was bothering me was being surprised every time Kaian tried to do something to me.
'He shouldn't think that I'm pushing him away.'
I should have acted naturally before worrying about that, but it was a problem because it didn't go as planned.
"Whew."
It was when I let out a sigh without realizing it.
The man who had roughly combed my hair with his hand and held it together with one hand, saying that he would fix the mess, suddenly touched the back of my neck which was exposed white.
"Whew."
I jumped up from my seat in surprise.
"Why are you so surprised?"
I shivered as his voice rose from the back of my neck to the back of my ear.
“Ka, Kaian. You said you’d tie my hair for me.”
“I can’t do it because I’m not used to it.”
It had been easy when he untied it.
Kaian's mumbling could be heard through my body.
When I hunched over and froze, Kaian grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. I couldn't turn around completely but was dragged diagonally as he did, and when my cheek touched his firm chest, I finally sighed and relaxed a little.
"Claudel."
When he called My name, my heart clenched. I thought he was going to complain about me being stiff.
'He never had patience.'
I usually tried to be direct and control the situation.
But even if Kaian said something to me about this, nothing would change right away.
'My body doesn't do what I want.'
It wasn't that I didn't like him.
I was at a loss for what to do with the thoughts that were swirling around inside me.
Kaian lifted me lightly in his arms, pulled me up onto his legs, and hugged me tightly.
Pat pat.
It was a soft and affectionate touch.
Even without saying anything, Kaian was trying to comfort her, who had been putting all my strength into my body.
I closed my eyes, listening to his breathing blowing through my hair like a breeze.
The solid man’s body surrounded me from all sides as if it would block all the storms of the world.
It was a sense of stability that only Kaian could provide.
As I dug into his arms and inhaled the scent of the person I really liked, I gradually relaxed and became drowsy.
“Did you really want to look good to me?”
That’s why Kaian suddenly asked, causing ripples like a stone rolling into a calm forest pond, and my mind instantly became clear.
“Who else would be?”
Thump thump thump.
I could hear my heart beating.
I felt my cheeks turn a little red.
Was it my heart beating?
No, it wasn’t.
The sound of Kaian’s heart beating was surprisingly clear.
“I’m glad.”
Laughter passed through the top of my head.
“Are you kidding me?”
In the past, I didn’t really care about what I wore in front of Kaian.
In the Temnes dukedom, everything I wore or decorated was considered valuable.
Expensive things were luxurious, and valuable things were pretty.
If I wore them on my body, it was hard for the decoration to look cheap.
But now, I look in the mirror more often than before.
‘I look like a skeleton.’
Although I was still breathing, I often thought that I looked too thin and haggard.
‘I wonder if Kaian regrets saving me.’
It was so bad that I thought that.
During that time, my mind was so distracted that I didn’t have time to look at my appearance. Even when I came to Rowen and hadn’t recovered my energy properly, I was completely focused on the baby. When the baby cried and begged me to hold him, who didn’t have the strength to hold him, I would somehow wrap my body around pillows and cushions and pretend to hold the baby in my arms. I could only calm down by putting something warm, small, and squirming on the spot where the baby had left.
After some time had passed and I had calmed down, I finally looked back on my condition because of the annoying doctor.
“Shouldn’t you recover if you want to raise the baby?”
Those words suddenly brought me to my senses.
I was shocked by the miserable state of my condition. Once I became aware of it, I couldn’t act as if nothing had happened before.
The day I escaped from the palace became more and more vague.
I said it was probably because I had been shocked so many times in a row, and because I had been depressed and not been able to rest properly for months.
However, I hadn’t completely forgotten that Kaian had kept me warm on the ship. His words and actions came back to me in fragments as if they were being interrupted.
“Teasing me.”
Kaian carefully placed me down, holding me in his arms.
“No way. I’m being seduced.”
Before I could answer, Kaian lowered his head toward me.
It was a summer kiss like Rowen’s.
Everything in the land where the brilliant sunlight fell like a blessing all year round was strong and hot.
Slowly mixing my breaths, my heart that had been surging in an instant and felt like it was boiling with longing.
I opened my eyes narrowly, inhaling heavily while licking his lips and entangling his tongue. The black hair tickling my forehead cast a shadow on my face, and as soon as I opened my eyes, the red eyes that met me were filled with passion.
“I've become ugly.”
The person who says such things must be ugly.
I said softly as if complaining.
“Where?”
“Everything.”
“It’s better than when you first came to Rowen.”
I frowned at Kaian’s comforting words that hit the nail on the head.
“I’m joking. You’ve never been ugly.”
He pressed his lips to my cheek that wouldn’t straighten out.
“You’re still pretty.”
“You’ve lied more.”
“Your trustworthiness is at rock bottom.”
Kaian sighed and lay down next to me locking eyes with me.
“If I had told you sooner that the child was alive, you would have felt better.”
He slowly pushed back my hair, which had become even more messy from the kissing.
“I thought you would be Valquiterre's hostage. Or maybe the baby would be in danger.”
His eyes held a complex emotion.
“Those were all excuses.”
“Excuses?”
“Yeah.”
But even if Kaian said something to me about this, nothing would change right away.
'My body doesn't do what I want.'
It wasn't that I didn't like him.
I was at a loss for what to do with the thoughts that were swirling around inside me.
Kaian lifted me lightly in his arms, pulled me up onto his legs, and hugged me tightly.
Pat pat.
It was a soft and affectionate touch.
Even without saying anything, Kaian was trying to comfort her, who had been putting all my strength into my body.
I closed my eyes, listening to his breathing blowing through my hair like a breeze.
The solid man’s body surrounded me from all sides as if it would block all the storms of the world.
It was a sense of stability that only Kaian could provide.
As I dug into his arms and inhaled the scent of the person I really liked, I gradually relaxed and became drowsy.
“Did you really want to look good to me?”
That’s why Kaian suddenly asked, causing ripples like a stone rolling into a calm forest pond, and my mind instantly became clear.
“Who else would be?”
Thump thump thump.
I could hear my heart beating.
I felt my cheeks turn a little red.
Was it my heart beating?
No, it wasn’t.
The sound of Kaian’s heart beating was surprisingly clear.
“I’m glad.”
Laughter passed through the top of my head.
“Are you kidding me?”
In the past, I didn’t really care about what I wore in front of Kaian.
In the Temnes dukedom, everything I wore or decorated was considered valuable.
Expensive things were luxurious, and valuable things were pretty.
If I wore them on my body, it was hard for the decoration to look cheap.
But now, I look in the mirror more often than before.
‘I look like a skeleton.’
Although I was still breathing, I often thought that I looked too thin and haggard.
‘I wonder if Kaian regrets saving me.’
It was so bad that I thought that.
During that time, my mind was so distracted that I didn’t have time to look at my appearance. Even when I came to Rowen and hadn’t recovered my energy properly, I was completely focused on the baby. When the baby cried and begged me to hold him, who didn’t have the strength to hold him, I would somehow wrap my body around pillows and cushions and pretend to hold the baby in my arms. I could only calm down by putting something warm, small, and squirming on the spot where the baby had left.
After some time had passed and I had calmed down, I finally looked back on my condition because of the annoying doctor.
“Shouldn’t you recover if you want to raise the baby?”
Those words suddenly brought me to my senses.
I was shocked by the miserable state of my condition. Once I became aware of it, I couldn’t act as if nothing had happened before.
The day I escaped from the palace became more and more vague.
I said it was probably because I had been shocked so many times in a row, and because I had been depressed and not been able to rest properly for months.
However, I hadn’t completely forgotten that Kaian had kept me warm on the ship. His words and actions came back to me in fragments as if they were being interrupted.
“Teasing me.”
Kaian carefully placed me down, holding me in his arms.
“No way. I’m being seduced.”
Before I could answer, Kaian lowered his head toward me.
It was a summer kiss like Rowen’s.
Everything in the land where the brilliant sunlight fell like a blessing all year round was strong and hot.
Slowly mixing my breaths, my heart that had been surging in an instant and felt like it was boiling with longing.
I opened my eyes narrowly, inhaling heavily while licking his lips and entangling his tongue. The black hair tickling my forehead cast a shadow on my face, and as soon as I opened my eyes, the red eyes that met me were filled with passion.
“I've become ugly.”
The person who says such things must be ugly.
I said softly as if complaining.
“Where?”
“Everything.”
“It’s better than when you first came to Rowen.”
I frowned at Kaian’s comforting words that hit the nail on the head.
“I’m joking. You’ve never been ugly.”
He pressed his lips to my cheek that wouldn’t straighten out.
“You’re still pretty.”
“You’ve lied more.”
“Your trustworthiness is at rock bottom.”
Kaian sighed and lay down next to me locking eyes with me.
“If I had told you sooner that the child was alive, you would have felt better.”
He slowly pushed back my hair, which had become even more messy from the kissing.
“I thought you would be Valquiterre's hostage. Or maybe the baby would be in danger.”
His eyes held a complex emotion.
“Those were all excuses.”
“Excuses?”
“Yeah.”
He pushed all my hair over my shoulder and caressed my smooth cheek, revealing his murky greed.
“I didn’t have the confidence to see you unhappy next to me, having come back against my will because of the baby.”
“I didn’t have the confidence to see you unhappy next to me, having come back against my will because of the baby.”
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