“I didn’t have the confidence to see you, who had come back against my will because of the baby, being unhappy by my side.”
I opened my eyes wide.
“I hate that you’re really complaining. I was afraid you’d say that it can’t be helped because of the baby.”
Despite revealing his true feelings, he didn’t avoid me.
Rather, it seemed as if he wanted me to understand his feelings.
Up until now, he had been acting weak because of my poor health, so he had been afraid of burdening me, so he couldn’t speak clearly. When I cried and apologized, Kaian simply said that it was okay.
He said that I had done nothing wrong. That it was all his fault.
Despite remembering the conversations he had with me like this, after a while, the events of yesterday and the day before became hazy.
I had been thinking that I should apologize properly instead of just saying whatever came to me when I was overcome with emotion, so I quickly answered.
“I didn’t leave because I hated you. I didn’t have time to think about that.”
“Didn’t you pretend to die?”
“That’s... Because if you don’t want the child, I thought the baby would be in danger anyway.”
I opened my eyes wide.
“I hate that you’re really complaining. I was afraid you’d say that it can’t be helped because of the baby.”
Despite revealing his true feelings, he didn’t avoid me.
Rather, it seemed as if he wanted me to understand his feelings.
Up until now, he had been acting weak because of my poor health, so he had been afraid of burdening me, so he couldn’t speak clearly. When I cried and apologized, Kaian simply said that it was okay.
He said that I had done nothing wrong. That it was all his fault.
Despite remembering the conversations he had with me like this, after a while, the events of yesterday and the day before became hazy.
I had been thinking that I should apologize properly instead of just saying whatever came to me when I was overcome with emotion, so I quickly answered.
“I didn’t leave because I hated you. I didn’t have time to think about that.”
“Didn’t you pretend to die?”
“That’s... Because if you don’t want the child, I thought the baby would be in danger anyway.”
I simply thought there was no way to evade Kaian’s pursuit without temporarily hiding in the shadows under the wings of death.
I was persistent and could get what I wanted.
I had made it seem like I was dead and had Valquiterre's help.
If it weren’t for those two things, I wouldn’t have been able to leave Rowen.
“I thought you wanted to leave me so badly that it would be better to die anyway.”
He looked at me persistently.
“I thought it would be the same when you came back.”
Disliking him, wanting to leave him, resenting him, cursing him, hating him.
“I told Madame Cronach that I would go back to Rowen without telling you that the baby was alive.”
“What?”
“She said that if I told you that the baby was alive, you would return to Temnes immediately.”
“Of course you should have.”
“Yes. I should have.”
The hand that had asked permission without permission touched my soft cheek and plump lips.
“It’s better than confirming that you hate me.”
When the topic of the child came up, my attitude changed in an instant.
“Then were you planning to take the baby to Rowen and raise it without me knowing?”
“That’s what happened back then.”
I was persistent and could get what I wanted.
I had made it seem like I was dead and had Valquiterre's help.
If it weren’t for those two things, I wouldn’t have been able to leave Rowen.
“I thought you wanted to leave me so badly that it would be better to die anyway.”
He looked at me persistently.
“I thought it would be the same when you came back.”
Disliking him, wanting to leave him, resenting him, cursing him, hating him.
“I told Madame Cronach that I would go back to Rowen without telling you that the baby was alive.”
“What?”
“She said that if I told you that the baby was alive, you would return to Temnes immediately.”
“Of course you should have.”
“Yes. I should have.”
The hand that had asked permission without permission touched my soft cheek and plump lips.
“It’s better than confirming that you hate me.”
When the topic of the child came up, my attitude changed in an instant.
“Then were you planning to take the baby to Rowen and raise it without me knowing?”
“That’s what happened back then.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“How miserable would it be for me to see you not liking me like you used to be?”
Kaian looked like someone confessing.
His eyes, filled with worry, showed various emotions at every moment.
“It’s true that I hurt you and upset you, but was that a mistake that made you suffer that much?”
He thought shamelessly.
“So there’s a chance that you’ll forgive me. There’s a slight chance that you’ll accept me again. I didn’t tell you until I saw the ring and confirmed it.”
Among the many excuses, he also hoped to tell me about the baby.
So that I wouldn’t regret it even more.
“Would I call you pretty as a joke?”
Kaian smiled faintly, mocking himself.
“How desperately I wanted it. You’ve always been perfect for me.”
“You were trying to take the new Duchess.”
Kaian became serious at my sullen remark.
“Who said that? The vassals told me to take a new Duchess, so I said I wouldn’t do it unless they confirmed your death.”
“Ah...”
After losing Claudel, he would never have anyone sitting next to him again. He spoke with force.
“There’s no way I can do this twice. To care about someone.”
The woman, who had been straining her eyes as if she really didn’t want to tell him about the baby, calmed down when she saw his smile.
“I’m weak to Kaian’s face, so it’s a big deal.”
In the end, we ended up seeing everything as if we liked it.
It was ambiguous to say who did right or wrong.
We each cared about each other in different ways and at different temperatures. That’s why we couldn’t communicate. We had different ideal relationships and different desires, but before he could even have a proper conversation about it, we had only confirmed their differences in position.
Now was the time to adjust so that we wouldn’t misunderstand like before.
Even so, my heart suddenly felt heavy.
'It might not be the time yet.'
There was no way that Valquiterre, whose hopes had been dashed, could just sit back and do nothing.
'Will we have to go to war?'
At first glance, everyday life in Rowen was very peaceful.
It seemed that it felt even more so because of the mild and warm weather.
The castle was filled with laughter every day.
However, the relationship between me and Kaian was not as solid as a sand castle built on sand. Even a sand castle built where waves come and go maintains its shape for a while until the next wave comes.
I felt that this was exactly that moment.
Despite my desire to not live like before and not wanting to create any room for misunderstandings, I was afraid to ask Kaian about it. I wanted to enjoy the peace I had for a moment.
The moment I had longed for and longed for so much that I cried.
However, on the other hand, I wondered if the man who loved me so desperately would tell me honestly now.
Didn’t he tearfully plead with me to trust him?
“Kaian.”
When I called his name, he looked at me.
“We’re going to war, you know?”
“Why are you suddenly asking that? Did something make you anxious?”
“No. Just... I don’t think King Valquiterre will stay still.”
Kaian opened his mouth coolly.
“The telegrams have been cut off.”
“A telegram?”
The telegram bureau, which stretched across the entire continent of Ithaca centered around the Kingdom of Oberon, was like a blood vessel of information. Since precious news across the continent had to pass through the kingdom, it was natural that the Kingdom of Oberon would seize control of the central hegemony.
The war that broke out during the unstable period after Queen Sylvia’s death was an unavoidable opportunity for the neighboring countries.
“The telegrams aren’t coming in.”
Then we wouldn’t be able to respond to urgent matters.
The information exchanged overnight could change the situation overnight.
It was a situation that put Rowen at a great disadvantage.
“So the information coming from the capital is coming in directly through messengers.”
“I see.”
“They’re probably preparing for an expedition.”
It wasn’t good news, but I was relieved that he answered my questions.
“Kaian. Don’t try to do anything alone.”
“How miserable would it be for me to see you not liking me like you used to be?”
Kaian looked like someone confessing.
His eyes, filled with worry, showed various emotions at every moment.
“It’s true that I hurt you and upset you, but was that a mistake that made you suffer that much?”
He thought shamelessly.
“So there’s a chance that you’ll forgive me. There’s a slight chance that you’ll accept me again. I didn’t tell you until I saw the ring and confirmed it.”
Among the many excuses, he also hoped to tell me about the baby.
So that I wouldn’t regret it even more.
“Would I call you pretty as a joke?”
Kaian smiled faintly, mocking himself.
“How desperately I wanted it. You’ve always been perfect for me.”
“You were trying to take the new Duchess.”
Kaian became serious at my sullen remark.
“Who said that? The vassals told me to take a new Duchess, so I said I wouldn’t do it unless they confirmed your death.”
“Ah...”
After losing Claudel, he would never have anyone sitting next to him again. He spoke with force.
“There’s no way I can do this twice. To care about someone.”
The woman, who had been straining her eyes as if she really didn’t want to tell him about the baby, calmed down when she saw his smile.
“I’m weak to Kaian’s face, so it’s a big deal.”
In the end, we ended up seeing everything as if we liked it.
It was ambiguous to say who did right or wrong.
We each cared about each other in different ways and at different temperatures. That’s why we couldn’t communicate. We had different ideal relationships and different desires, but before he could even have a proper conversation about it, we had only confirmed their differences in position.
Now was the time to adjust so that we wouldn’t misunderstand like before.
Even so, my heart suddenly felt heavy.
'It might not be the time yet.'
There was no way that Valquiterre, whose hopes had been dashed, could just sit back and do nothing.
'Will we have to go to war?'
At first glance, everyday life in Rowen was very peaceful.
It seemed that it felt even more so because of the mild and warm weather.
The castle was filled with laughter every day.
However, the relationship between me and Kaian was not as solid as a sand castle built on sand. Even a sand castle built where waves come and go maintains its shape for a while until the next wave comes.
I felt that this was exactly that moment.
Despite my desire to not live like before and not wanting to create any room for misunderstandings, I was afraid to ask Kaian about it. I wanted to enjoy the peace I had for a moment.
The moment I had longed for and longed for so much that I cried.
However, on the other hand, I wondered if the man who loved me so desperately would tell me honestly now.
Didn’t he tearfully plead with me to trust him?
“Kaian.”
When I called his name, he looked at me.
“We’re going to war, you know?”
“Why are you suddenly asking that? Did something make you anxious?”
“No. Just... I don’t think King Valquiterre will stay still.”
Kaian opened his mouth coolly.
“The telegrams have been cut off.”
“A telegram?”
The telegram bureau, which stretched across the entire continent of Ithaca centered around the Kingdom of Oberon, was like a blood vessel of information. Since precious news across the continent had to pass through the kingdom, it was natural that the Kingdom of Oberon would seize control of the central hegemony.
The war that broke out during the unstable period after Queen Sylvia’s death was an unavoidable opportunity for the neighboring countries.
“The telegrams aren’t coming in.”
Then we wouldn’t be able to respond to urgent matters.
The information exchanged overnight could change the situation overnight.
It was a situation that put Rowen at a great disadvantage.
“So the information coming from the capital is coming in directly through messengers.”
“I see.”
“They’re probably preparing for an expedition.”
It wasn’t good news, but I was relieved that he answered my questions.
“Kaian. Don’t try to do anything alone.”
Now was not the time to blame myself for the situation I had caused by my departure to the palace.
I wanted to be a source of strength for him in some way.
I couldn’t throw myself at Valquiterre to stop the war. It was something Kaian, more than anyone else, didn’t want.
I wanted to be a source of strength for him in some way.
I couldn’t throw myself at Valquiterre to stop the war. It was something Kaian, more than anyone else, didn’t want.
“Don’t hide it, tell me. Only then will I properly fulfill my role as the mistress of the castle.”
“That’s admirable.”
Kaian lightly kissed my forehead. We had been lying face to face, with our arms crossed over each other. Surprisingly, we were lying on our sides, and it was nice to be able to talk while looking into each other’s eyes without the height difference that usually comes with height.
“I thought you were talking about the war in such a good mood.”
“There aren’t many opportunities to talk.”
I often rested and fell asleep as if I was trying to make up for the sleep I had lost in the months since giving birth. When I was awake, I was busy learning how to take care of a child, which was my first time raising a child. The child grew up so quickly that the story about raising a child that I had heard from Madame Repel a few days ago became irrelevant again. The baby, who had been very gentle and unconcerned, cried and whined all night for several days.
“How prepared are we?”
“Don’t worry. We’ve been preparing for a long time.”
“Prepared?”
Kaian playfully rolled his eyes.
“It’s been a year since we’ve been fully prepared to attack Vermont.”
“....”
It wasn’t because of his mood that he kept wandering around somewhere while talking to me.
“Don’t worry, Claudel.”
“How can I not worry?”
Kaian smiled faintly.
“You’ll realize the reputation of Temnes, the greatest warrior on the continent.”
***
Irena, who strode briskly through the hallways of the Castle of Valmonde, looked very different from usual.
“Where is my father?”
“Oh, my lady.”
“I need to see him right away.”
“The Duke is very busy right now.”
“Get out of the way.”
No one could stop her as she pushed open the door to her office and entered. The Duke of Vermont, in his office, was not busy at all but rather appeared to be leisurely sitting on the sofa, rubbing and cleaning his sword with a towel.
“Father, what on earth are you talking about?”
Irena usually spoke calmly and elegantly.
But now, her excited voice was shaking so much that it was almost ugly.
“You’re telling me to go to the capital all of a sudden?”
“Calm down, Irena.”
“Become Queen? Did I mishear?”
The Duke of Vermont kept telling her that King Valquiterre was out of his mind and that he couldn’t send his daughter to such a crazy man.
Irena completely agreed with the Duke of Vermont on that point, so she was glad that he didn’t want to force her into becoming Queen. She had rushed to the office in excitement at the sudden order to pack her bags and leave for the capital tomorrow.
However, the Duke of Vermont’s gaze at his daughter was cold.
“Didn’t I ask you?”
“What...”
“How much, how far can you go for Vermont?”
She couldn’t breathe as if her throat had been choked.
“Didn’t you clearly say that you would do anything for your family like Claudel?”
“Father. If I become Oberon’s Queen, Vermont will no longer be able to command the North as it used to. The King is after the port and wants us to be completely subjugated.”
But now, her excited voice was shaking so much that it was almost ugly.
“You’re telling me to go to the capital all of a sudden?”
“Calm down, Irena.”
“Become Queen? Did I mishear?”
The Duke of Vermont kept telling her that King Valquiterre was out of his mind and that he couldn’t send his daughter to such a crazy man.
Irena completely agreed with the Duke of Vermont on that point, so she was glad that he didn’t want to force her into becoming Queen. She had rushed to the office in excitement at the sudden order to pack her bags and leave for the capital tomorrow.
However, the Duke of Vermont’s gaze at his daughter was cold.
“Didn’t I ask you?”
“What...”
“How much, how far can you go for Vermont?”
She couldn’t breathe as if her throat had been choked.
“Didn’t you clearly say that you would do anything for your family like Claudel?”
“Father. If I become Oberon’s Queen, Vermont will no longer be able to command the North as it used to. The King is after the port and wants us to be completely subjugated.”
The Duke of Vermont, who was listening to her hastily pouring out words absentmindedly and turning the blade of his sword from side to side to check if it was well-polished, replied.
“Wouldn’t that not happen if there was a successor?”
“Wouldn’t that not happen if there was a successor?”
The New Series, Reincarnating As My Husband's Mistress is out now!
You can check it HERE!
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment