Episode 164. You Make Me Uncomfortable
The scene kept changing.
A sharp storm of a certain season was cruel to both the grandmother and the young granddaughter.
Olivia's pain was embedded in every scene. And her grandmother's pain was also embedded there.
Olivia watched the desolate tail end of her grandmother's life, which was gradually withering away.
The grandmother who waited endlessly beyond the square window for her, who would come someday. The grandmother who caressed and touched the certificate her granddaughter brought home as if it were her own. The grandmother who collected even the smallest fragment of scribbles that Olivia had done, cherishing them like family heirlooms.
At one point, it felt like an obsession and suffocated her.
Just as Professor Marguerite said, sometimes it felt overwhelming to see her acting as her grandmother's guardian. Olivia couldn't show how difficult it was, nor could she share the burden on her shoulders.
At the same time, she got angry at the innocent grandmother.
[ Why am I a commoner?]
[I am a commoner, so everyone asks why I bother studying... Why can't you send me to school, Grandma? You don't even know how I'm treated there. You can't even protect me from them. You tell me to just accept that the world is unfair!]
However, tear stains that were not hers remained throughout her diary.
After Grandmother declared that she would never write a diary again because she even peeked into it, even that was gone, but it was like that while she was writing.
Olivia realized too late that it was because reading the diary was the only way to see her granddaughter's life. And she also realized that her grandmother must have been the one who had broken down even more than she had.
Olivia ran with all her might toward the bent, gaunt back she would never see again. And she hugged her back.
"Grandma!"
Olivia hugged her grandmother and cried.
She sobbed loudly like a child. She cried as if she were going to die from crying.
She wondered how long she had been crying like that.
In a world swallowed by tears, someone hugged her.
"Olivia."
A voice reminiscent of a cool, deep valley calls to her. She wipes her cheek, then wipes it clean.
Olivia cried incessantly in a firm and warm embrace, looking for her grandmother.
“Grandma, Grandma...”
“Yes. Let’s go home, Olivia.”
"Let's go home.
"So don't cry."
Leaning on the soothing words, Olivia opened her eyes like that.
It was exactly ten days after the accident, and by then Herod's warship carrying her had reached the waters off Pulder.
Her memory ended with the scene of gazing at the night sea embracing the moonlight. She couldn't remember anything after that.
However, it was clear that something major had happened. Otherwise, there was no way there could be such a large wound on the abdomen.
"Are you okay? Lie down."
Olivia, who had been looking outside with her head leaning against the wall of the carriage, turned her gaze to follow the affectionate voice coming from the front.
He looked somewhat thinner than usual.
Following her doctor's advice that she should stop lying down and walk, Olivia practiced walking right up until she disembarked from the ship. Terrible pain struck her, but she walked nonetheless.
Noah was by her side every time. No, he stayed by her side the entire time, as if determined not to leave her alone for even a single moment since she opened her eyes.
Is that love?
Or is it a terrible sense of responsibility?
Her body had woken up, but her mind remained hazy, as if unable to escape the deep sea within.
Olivia looked out the window at the road in silence.
The full atmosphere of spring in Pulder was quickly passing by.
Tender things sprouted palely through the cracks in the desolate stone path. In the distance, flowers were abundant, making it look like a pointillist painting dotted with colorful dots.
“This is Pulder, Liv. Where do you want to go?”
"...House."
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
After traveling for quite a while along the long, old road, the carriage slowed significantly and eventually came to a stop. No sooner had she looked up than Noah approached and wrapped one arm tightly around her back.
The scent of musk lingered at the tip of her nose as we suddenly drew closer.
"I'll help you, so take your time getting up."
Olivia caught her breath and tried to stand up on her own as best she could. However, walking would have been better; standing up was incredibly painful.
As she tensed up without realizing it, the strong hand supporting jer lower back gently lifted her up.
Noah helped Olivia get off by walking backward down the carriage steps.
After being pulled down by his strength, Olivia gazed down at the ground. A path filled with finely crushed sand and rough-edged gravel.
And as she looked up along that path, she saw a familiar house yet had suddenly become unfamiliar.
“...”
Olivia, who had been staring blankly at the house, finally moved her feet after quite a while.
She shook off the hand of the man who kept trying to grab her and walked alone.
Toward a pitifully affectionate house, where it feels like Grandma would run out as if she had been waiting to be called.
And toward the house she once hated so much.
The house was preserved intact. Even a single old notebook remained exactly as it was, and even the scent it held was the same.
Olivia scanned every corner of the house with a dreamy gaze, like someone peering into a fringe of memory, then moved her steps as if drawn by something.
As she passed through a narrow corridor with a low ceiling, a dark brown wooden door with a brass handle appeared on the right.
The door opened smoothly, as if it had been oiled.
"Welcome, Liv."
An old room permeated with a gentle silence. An empty picture frame hung on the wall, having been taken away, and beneath it, the books she had collected over a very long period were neatly arranged.
By the bedside was a knitting basket that Grandmother always tended to, and next to it was a faded cotton sofa.
Olivia approached the bed her grandmother had used after she passed away. Then, slowly kneeling, she buried her face in the bed.
"My puppy, are you here?"
"... Grandma."
"Yeah. Get some rest."
Just then, someone wrapped their arms around her back.
“Your Highness, I will help you lie down on the bed.”
Olivia slowly sat on the bed with Mrs. Betty's help. As she slowly gasped for breath, a huge shadow, completely out of place in the house, entered the room.
Noah came in carrying a fairly large bag and placed it on the sofa, which was ridiculously small in comparison. Then, he lightly scanned the sofa with a brief glance. He appeared to be planning to sleep there.
Olivia opened her mouth.
"You go somewhere else."
As if he really intended to sleep there, Noah suddenly turned his head to face Olivia. When Olivia did not avert her gaze, Noah blinked and nodded slightly.
“Yes. Then the next room...”
"Go to the Ritz Hotel, or go to Princess Marguerite's house."
"...Why?"
It took quite a while before the question was finally uttered.
In contrast, Olivia gave a monotonous answer.
"Because it’s inconvenient."
Noah seemed to have lost his words. He also looked pained at first glance.
No way.
Perhaps it was because her body was exhausted, but she wanted to quit because worrying about him was so difficult.
Olivia lay down on the bed, taking her eyes off Noah.
She could feel the sleep that had stubbornly refused to come slowly approaching. And just as her consciousness was fading, a chilling voice reached her ears.
"Rest. I'll be back."
The news that Olivia and Noah had arrived in Pulder reached Margot as well.
“Then I guess I should make sure he stays at my house. Hurry up and get me a room...”
“Actually, Her Highness the Princess said she wishes to go to the house where she originally resided.”
“Ah... right. I suppose they might want to do that.”
“And Her Highness the Princess Consort was seriously injured and has just woken up...”
“What?! Olivia? Uh, where did she get hurt?!”
Margot's fingers trembled slightly.
Saying that this was not the time to be doing this, she quickly got into a carriage and headed to Olivia's house. When they reached the house, which was as small as a cottage, after passing the road that felt unusually long...
"..oh my god..."
She met a lion that was withering away and dying.
Her nephew, who had been so arrogantly confident that he seemed fearless, was emaciated.
Then, when their eyes met, Margot felt that he was sobbing.
“Noah...”
Noah slowly lowered his head and scanned his face. And when he looked up, he was smiling as if nothing had happened.
"It's been a long time, Aunt."
Margot unconsciously approached him and stroked his shoulder with her hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, it's fine."
“No, this isn’t the time for me to be doing this, Olivia...!”
Noah blocked Margot as she hurriedly tried to enter the house after regaining her senses. When Margot looked at him with a puzzled expression, Noah gently shook his head.
"She just fell asleep."
Noah covered his lips for a moment, as if he were about to say something difficult, then spoke.
“Auntie, may I stay with you for just a few days?”
At his question, Margot tilted her head and looked back and forth between the house where Olivia was sleeping and Noah.
Then Noah narrowed his eyes slightly and turned his head. His gaze, which had rested on the tidy window, moved toward the wisteria vines beginning to bud, then to the low chair beneath them, and eventually lost its way.
He looked as if he didn't know what to do, like someone who had lost their way. Then, after quite a while, he let out a voice that was tightly choked.
"Because she said it was inconvenient."
She couldn't bring herself to insist on meeting Olivia in front of her niece. Margot let out a long, deep sigh and slowly turned to walk away.
The scene kept changing.
A sharp storm of a certain season was cruel to both the grandmother and the young granddaughter.
Olivia's pain was embedded in every scene. And her grandmother's pain was also embedded there.
Olivia watched the desolate tail end of her grandmother's life, which was gradually withering away.
The grandmother who waited endlessly beyond the square window for her, who would come someday. The grandmother who caressed and touched the certificate her granddaughter brought home as if it were her own. The grandmother who collected even the smallest fragment of scribbles that Olivia had done, cherishing them like family heirlooms.
At one point, it felt like an obsession and suffocated her.
Just as Professor Marguerite said, sometimes it felt overwhelming to see her acting as her grandmother's guardian. Olivia couldn't show how difficult it was, nor could she share the burden on her shoulders.
At the same time, she got angry at the innocent grandmother.
[ Why am I a commoner?]
[I am a commoner, so everyone asks why I bother studying... Why can't you send me to school, Grandma? You don't even know how I'm treated there. You can't even protect me from them. You tell me to just accept that the world is unfair!]
However, tear stains that were not hers remained throughout her diary.
After Grandmother declared that she would never write a diary again because she even peeked into it, even that was gone, but it was like that while she was writing.
Olivia realized too late that it was because reading the diary was the only way to see her granddaughter's life. And she also realized that her grandmother must have been the one who had broken down even more than she had.
Olivia ran with all her might toward the bent, gaunt back she would never see again. And she hugged her back.
"Grandma!"
Olivia hugged her grandmother and cried.
She sobbed loudly like a child. She cried as if she were going to die from crying.
She wondered how long she had been crying like that.
In a world swallowed by tears, someone hugged her.
"Olivia."
A voice reminiscent of a cool, deep valley calls to her. She wipes her cheek, then wipes it clean.
Olivia cried incessantly in a firm and warm embrace, looking for her grandmother.
“Grandma, Grandma...”
“Yes. Let’s go home, Olivia.”
"Let's go home.
"So don't cry."
Leaning on the soothing words, Olivia opened her eyes like that.
It was exactly ten days after the accident, and by then Herod's warship carrying her had reached the waters off Pulder.
Her memory ended with the scene of gazing at the night sea embracing the moonlight. She couldn't remember anything after that.
However, it was clear that something major had happened. Otherwise, there was no way there could be such a large wound on the abdomen.
"Are you okay? Lie down."
Olivia, who had been looking outside with her head leaning against the wall of the carriage, turned her gaze to follow the affectionate voice coming from the front.
He looked somewhat thinner than usual.
Following her doctor's advice that she should stop lying down and walk, Olivia practiced walking right up until she disembarked from the ship. Terrible pain struck her, but she walked nonetheless.
Noah was by her side every time. No, he stayed by her side the entire time, as if determined not to leave her alone for even a single moment since she opened her eyes.
Is that love?
Or is it a terrible sense of responsibility?
Her body had woken up, but her mind remained hazy, as if unable to escape the deep sea within.
Olivia looked out the window at the road in silence.
The full atmosphere of spring in Pulder was quickly passing by.
Tender things sprouted palely through the cracks in the desolate stone path. In the distance, flowers were abundant, making it look like a pointillist painting dotted with colorful dots.
“This is Pulder, Liv. Where do you want to go?”
"...House."
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
After traveling for quite a while along the long, old road, the carriage slowed significantly and eventually came to a stop. No sooner had she looked up than Noah approached and wrapped one arm tightly around her back.
The scent of musk lingered at the tip of her nose as we suddenly drew closer.
"I'll help you, so take your time getting up."
Olivia caught her breath and tried to stand up on her own as best she could. However, walking would have been better; standing up was incredibly painful.
As she tensed up without realizing it, the strong hand supporting jer lower back gently lifted her up.
Noah helped Olivia get off by walking backward down the carriage steps.
After being pulled down by his strength, Olivia gazed down at the ground. A path filled with finely crushed sand and rough-edged gravel.
And as she looked up along that path, she saw a familiar house yet had suddenly become unfamiliar.
“...”
Olivia, who had been staring blankly at the house, finally moved her feet after quite a while.
She shook off the hand of the man who kept trying to grab her and walked alone.
Toward a pitifully affectionate house, where it feels like Grandma would run out as if she had been waiting to be called.
And toward the house she once hated so much.
The house was preserved intact. Even a single old notebook remained exactly as it was, and even the scent it held was the same.
Olivia scanned every corner of the house with a dreamy gaze, like someone peering into a fringe of memory, then moved her steps as if drawn by something.
As she passed through a narrow corridor with a low ceiling, a dark brown wooden door with a brass handle appeared on the right.
The door opened smoothly, as if it had been oiled.
"Welcome, Liv."
An old room permeated with a gentle silence. An empty picture frame hung on the wall, having been taken away, and beneath it, the books she had collected over a very long period were neatly arranged.
By the bedside was a knitting basket that Grandmother always tended to, and next to it was a faded cotton sofa.
Olivia approached the bed her grandmother had used after she passed away. Then, slowly kneeling, she buried her face in the bed.
"My puppy, are you here?"
"... Grandma."
"Yeah. Get some rest."
Just then, someone wrapped their arms around her back.
“Your Highness, I will help you lie down on the bed.”
Olivia slowly sat on the bed with Mrs. Betty's help. As she slowly gasped for breath, a huge shadow, completely out of place in the house, entered the room.
Noah came in carrying a fairly large bag and placed it on the sofa, which was ridiculously small in comparison. Then, he lightly scanned the sofa with a brief glance. He appeared to be planning to sleep there.
Olivia opened her mouth.
"You go somewhere else."
As if he really intended to sleep there, Noah suddenly turned his head to face Olivia. When Olivia did not avert her gaze, Noah blinked and nodded slightly.
“Yes. Then the next room...”
"Go to the Ritz Hotel, or go to Princess Marguerite's house."
"...Why?"
It took quite a while before the question was finally uttered.
In contrast, Olivia gave a monotonous answer.
"Because it’s inconvenient."
Noah seemed to have lost his words. He also looked pained at first glance.
No way.
Perhaps it was because her body was exhausted, but she wanted to quit because worrying about him was so difficult.
Olivia lay down on the bed, taking her eyes off Noah.
She could feel the sleep that had stubbornly refused to come slowly approaching. And just as her consciousness was fading, a chilling voice reached her ears.
"Rest. I'll be back."
***
The news that Olivia and Noah had arrived in Pulder reached Margot as well.
“Then I guess I should make sure he stays at my house. Hurry up and get me a room...”
“Actually, Her Highness the Princess said she wishes to go to the house where she originally resided.”
“Ah... right. I suppose they might want to do that.”
“And Her Highness the Princess Consort was seriously injured and has just woken up...”
“What?! Olivia? Uh, where did she get hurt?!”
Margot's fingers trembled slightly.
Saying that this was not the time to be doing this, she quickly got into a carriage and headed to Olivia's house. When they reached the house, which was as small as a cottage, after passing the road that felt unusually long...
"..oh my god..."
She met a lion that was withering away and dying.
Her nephew, who had been so arrogantly confident that he seemed fearless, was emaciated.
Then, when their eyes met, Margot felt that he was sobbing.
“Noah...”
Noah slowly lowered his head and scanned his face. And when he looked up, he was smiling as if nothing had happened.
"It's been a long time, Aunt."
Margot unconsciously approached him and stroked his shoulder with her hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, it's fine."
“No, this isn’t the time for me to be doing this, Olivia...!”
Noah blocked Margot as she hurriedly tried to enter the house after regaining her senses. When Margot looked at him with a puzzled expression, Noah gently shook his head.
"She just fell asleep."
Noah covered his lips for a moment, as if he were about to say something difficult, then spoke.
“Auntie, may I stay with you for just a few days?”
At his question, Margot tilted her head and looked back and forth between the house where Olivia was sleeping and Noah.
Then Noah narrowed his eyes slightly and turned his head. His gaze, which had rested on the tidy window, moved toward the wisteria vines beginning to bud, then to the low chair beneath them, and eventually lost its way.
He looked as if he didn't know what to do, like someone who had lost their way. Then, after quite a while, he let out a voice that was tightly choked.
"Because she said it was inconvenient."
She couldn't bring herself to insist on meeting Olivia in front of her niece. Margot let out a long, deep sigh and slowly turned to walk away.
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