Episode 163. I Was Relieved by Your Pain
Mrs. Betty, who had cautiously opened the door to care for Olivia, let out a quiet sigh at the silhouette of a burly man that appeared without fail.
It had already been a week, and the Princess was still unconscious. The only fortunate thing was that the surgical site was healing well without becoming infected.
The Prince guarded her side without leaving for a single moment. He slept only brief naps by her bedside and did not eat properly. He simply gazed at the Princess's face.
Mrs. Betty, who was about to close the door and leave, mustered up the courage to step inside.
Noah, who had been staring only at Olivia's face regardless of who came or went, had changed beyond recognition in the past week. His hair was disheveled from not being groomed, his beard had grown quite long from not shaving, and the area under his eyes was dark from not eating or sleeping properly, while his cheeks were sunken.
“...”
Mrs. Betty stared at him blankly.
Strangely enough, the royal, who had never felt human at any moment, suddenly felt like someone with red blood just like herself.
Mrs. Betty placed a bowl containing warm water and a towel to one side and said.
“Go and get some rest. While you are away, I will be by Jer Highness's side...”
"That’s enough, just leave it and go."
She knew it. Judging by how he cuts her off and only says what he wants to say, he is undeniably royalty on the inside.
But it's already been a week.
No matter how well Noah looks after Olivia, his touch cannot compare to that of Mrs. Betty, who has been doing this all her life.
Mrs. Betty mustered up the courage to speak.
“I am saying this because I believe Her Highness may need my touch. After all, you must not merely wipe the visible parts.”
Only then did Noah lift his eyes and meet hers. Her heart pounded as they met that cold gaze, but Mrs. Betty did not avert her eyes.
Perhaps because she was prepared to be fired once this journey ended anyway, even a strange courage welled up inside her.
"And I think you need to take care of yourself, even if only for the sake of when Her Highness wakes up. Your face looks very haggard."
“...”
She expected a cynical response since it was such an overstepping remark, but Noah quietly blinked his eyes and slowly ran his hand over his face.
He rubbed his rough chin for quite a while, then lowered his gaze to look at Olivia, and after a moment, stood up from his seat.
"Call me if anything happens."
“Yes, I understand.”
Unlike his imposing physique, he crossed the room without even the sound of his footsteps being heard, turned to look at her at the door, and spoke.
"I look forward to working with you, Mrs. Betty."
When Mrs. Betty, who was wringing out a towel she had just soaked in water, turned her head in surprise, Noah was already gone.
Leaving his room, Noah headed toward the deck with heavy steps. As he passed through the narrow corridor and climbed the stairs, a chilling sea breeze blew in.
Noah took a vial of medicine from his bosom. The doctor said it was a strong sleeping pill.
“Who would take this? It is a medicine that is not prescribed unless the insomnia is quite severe...”
Why, was there no choice but to eat this even by my side?
Holding the medicine bottle in his hand, Noah tried to put himself in Olivia's shoes for the first time.
What was the world like when you saw it with your own eyes?
What must the path you have traversed have looked like?
At the end of that question, he thought for the first time about the futility of status.
Noah leaned against the railing and tilted his head back.
It was a night when a round moon rose in the black night sky.
As he stared blankly at the moon, a not-so-distant past came to mind.
On the ship heading to Pulder to propose to Olivia, he had tilted his head back and gazed at the moon, just as he is now. Looking at the night sky cast like a curtain, he recalled Olivia with her black hair fluttering in the wind.
Looking at the report on her suffering, he felt more relief than pity.
Noah covered his eyes with his hands.
“Holding back, enduring, holding on. Aren't you sick and tired of it? I'm asking if you really want to do that pathetic thing right next to me, Olivia.”
“If you receive something like that, the duration will be prolonged.”
“That crumbling house. You desperately attached a lock to the window you couldn’t open out of fear, even in the bitter heat. You must have thought that marrying me would allow you to escape that house. And you wouldn’t have wanted to be disrespected again by the woman who, even after committing a wrong, tried to slap you in the face.”
"Don't act like you wanted to work as a Princess Consort from the very beginning."
All the words he had mercilessly spat out turned into daggers and flew toward him.
If only he could, he wanted to go back to the past and shut his mouth.
Throughout the entire week he stayed by Olivia's side, he imagined the world she must have faced, and every time, he broke down.
“Stay still. Do nothing. Just, just... just breathe and live as if you are dead!!!!”
The resounding shout echoed in his ears.
Raised eyebrows, eyes filled with intense determination, and an angry yet somewhat tearful expression.
For her, who had to match even her gait to his, there was only one person she occasionally mentioned while unconscious.
"Grandma..."
The grandmother who raised her, whose name he didn't even know.
Noah turned his head and looked in the direction of the falder that the bow of the ship was pointing.
It was right then.
"Your Highness."
An officer appeared upon hearing the news that he had come out of the room. The officer seemed surprised to see Noah's haggard face, but quickly composed himself and spoke.
“We have entered the joint administration of Bahma. We must either return to Herod or seek permission from the administration.”
Either return to Herod, or...
Noah thought of a small house.
A small house with a very low, hard chair sitting all alone. A house where the only thing to see was a wisteria hanging by the door.
However, the house where Olivia is wandering is even in her unconscious.
The house that raised young Olivia. And thus, the house where a part of her has melted and remains.
What kind of person is Olivia, and what does she like? The answer to that question, too, will be held within that house.
How could anyone dare call such a house crumbling and dilapidated?
It took Noah quite a while to give the order to the officer.
"I will go to the Bahma Community Area Management Office to obtain permission. After receiving permission, I will head to Pulder."
The officer was momentarily flustered, but soon disappeared with a word of acknowledgment. Noah watched his receding figure with a heavy gaze, then let out a long, deep breath.
Due to this choice, he will likely have to relinquish his status as a Prince. Not only did he set sail without the King's permission, but he will also head to Pulder on his own initiative.
But even if it meant doing that, it seemed like he had to go to Pulder, to that house, right now.
“Please wake up, Liv.”
If those smooth black eyes look at him again, he will say these words first.
"...Sorry."
The painful apple shattered and scattered in the sea breeze.
Olivia's soul was in the deepest part of the vast and deep sea, dwelling within her.
In the dim dawn, as the cold pierced her collar, a wrinkled hand tightened her clothes. Holding the warm hand, Olivia climbed the carriage steps, which felt incredibly high.
“Liv.”
The warmth of a lukewarm potato seeps between the teeth at the same time as a gentle voice is heard.
However, her heart was pounding.
“Oh, really. If you do this, I can’t give you a ride in the carriage! I told you you shouldn’t feed them things like that inside the carriage!”
The sharp rebuke sent shivers down her spine, and an inexplicable sense of shame and humiliation welled up inside her. Olivia lowered her head as much as possible and swallowed the food stuck between her teeth with all her might.
“I am truly sorry. However, since I have to leave at this early hour, I cannot feed you anything before coming out, and after attending classes all morning, it is only around noon...”
“What does that have to do with me!”
"...I'm sorry."
“If it’s going to be like this, let’s get off and take another carriage!”
"...I'm sorry."
Olivia looked to the side with her head bowed.
Her grandmother, who was the coolest person in the world, was bowing her head obsequiously.
For the reason that she put a potato between her teeth.
"Why are they making such a fuss about sending a girl to an expensive school that only aristocrats attend?"
The cruel mockery piercing the ears mercilessly slashed at the small, tender heart.
“...Grandma, I want to get off.”
Olivia summoned all her strength and whispered. A round tear fell before it could even blot her cheek.
The grandmother silently took off her outer coat, placed it over her head, and hugged her shoulders.
Olivia imagined the entire way to school, immersed in pitch-black darkness.
When this darkness lifts, she will stand in a vast field filled with bright sunshine, laughter, and the fragrant scent of grass. She will be in that comfortable place where her parents and grandparents stood like a barrier, looking down upon her.
However, when she opened her eyes, she found herself in a school with a very tall clock tower.
Private carriages carrying students entered one after another through the wide-open gate.
Approach the class with the mindset that you won't miss a single thing.
"Grandma, the boy sitting next to me calls me a commoner girl instead of my name."
"You must make what you don't know your own, even if you have to ask again and again."
"Some teachers treat me like I don't exist."
"Have a safe trip."
Olivia felt as though she were about to burst into tears, but she held them back. Then, reluctantly, she turned her feet away.
As she walked slowly, her grandmother suddenly hugged her from behind.
“The best thing I can give you... is this. Learn this, and stand fully on your own.”
Mrs. Betty, who had cautiously opened the door to care for Olivia, let out a quiet sigh at the silhouette of a burly man that appeared without fail.
It had already been a week, and the Princess was still unconscious. The only fortunate thing was that the surgical site was healing well without becoming infected.
The Prince guarded her side without leaving for a single moment. He slept only brief naps by her bedside and did not eat properly. He simply gazed at the Princess's face.
Mrs. Betty, who was about to close the door and leave, mustered up the courage to step inside.
Noah, who had been staring only at Olivia's face regardless of who came or went, had changed beyond recognition in the past week. His hair was disheveled from not being groomed, his beard had grown quite long from not shaving, and the area under his eyes was dark from not eating or sleeping properly, while his cheeks were sunken.
“...”
Mrs. Betty stared at him blankly.
Strangely enough, the royal, who had never felt human at any moment, suddenly felt like someone with red blood just like herself.
Mrs. Betty placed a bowl containing warm water and a towel to one side and said.
“Go and get some rest. While you are away, I will be by Jer Highness's side...”
"That’s enough, just leave it and go."
She knew it. Judging by how he cuts her off and only says what he wants to say, he is undeniably royalty on the inside.
But it's already been a week.
No matter how well Noah looks after Olivia, his touch cannot compare to that of Mrs. Betty, who has been doing this all her life.
Mrs. Betty mustered up the courage to speak.
“I am saying this because I believe Her Highness may need my touch. After all, you must not merely wipe the visible parts.”
Only then did Noah lift his eyes and meet hers. Her heart pounded as they met that cold gaze, but Mrs. Betty did not avert her eyes.
Perhaps because she was prepared to be fired once this journey ended anyway, even a strange courage welled up inside her.
"And I think you need to take care of yourself, even if only for the sake of when Her Highness wakes up. Your face looks very haggard."
“...”
She expected a cynical response since it was such an overstepping remark, but Noah quietly blinked his eyes and slowly ran his hand over his face.
He rubbed his rough chin for quite a while, then lowered his gaze to look at Olivia, and after a moment, stood up from his seat.
"Call me if anything happens."
“Yes, I understand.”
Unlike his imposing physique, he crossed the room without even the sound of his footsteps being heard, turned to look at her at the door, and spoke.
"I look forward to working with you, Mrs. Betty."
When Mrs. Betty, who was wringing out a towel she had just soaked in water, turned her head in surprise, Noah was already gone.
Leaving his room, Noah headed toward the deck with heavy steps. As he passed through the narrow corridor and climbed the stairs, a chilling sea breeze blew in.
Noah took a vial of medicine from his bosom. The doctor said it was a strong sleeping pill.
“Who would take this? It is a medicine that is not prescribed unless the insomnia is quite severe...”
Why, was there no choice but to eat this even by my side?
Holding the medicine bottle in his hand, Noah tried to put himself in Olivia's shoes for the first time.
What was the world like when you saw it with your own eyes?
What must the path you have traversed have looked like?
At the end of that question, he thought for the first time about the futility of status.
Noah leaned against the railing and tilted his head back.
It was a night when a round moon rose in the black night sky.
As he stared blankly at the moon, a not-so-distant past came to mind.
On the ship heading to Pulder to propose to Olivia, he had tilted his head back and gazed at the moon, just as he is now. Looking at the night sky cast like a curtain, he recalled Olivia with her black hair fluttering in the wind.
Looking at the report on her suffering, he felt more relief than pity.
Noah covered his eyes with his hands.
“Holding back, enduring, holding on. Aren't you sick and tired of it? I'm asking if you really want to do that pathetic thing right next to me, Olivia.”
“If you receive something like that, the duration will be prolonged.”
“That crumbling house. You desperately attached a lock to the window you couldn’t open out of fear, even in the bitter heat. You must have thought that marrying me would allow you to escape that house. And you wouldn’t have wanted to be disrespected again by the woman who, even after committing a wrong, tried to slap you in the face.”
"Don't act like you wanted to work as a Princess Consort from the very beginning."
All the words he had mercilessly spat out turned into daggers and flew toward him.
If only he could, he wanted to go back to the past and shut his mouth.
Throughout the entire week he stayed by Olivia's side, he imagined the world she must have faced, and every time, he broke down.
“Stay still. Do nothing. Just, just... just breathe and live as if you are dead!!!!”
The resounding shout echoed in his ears.
Raised eyebrows, eyes filled with intense determination, and an angry yet somewhat tearful expression.
For her, who had to match even her gait to his, there was only one person she occasionally mentioned while unconscious.
"Grandma..."
The grandmother who raised her, whose name he didn't even know.
Noah turned his head and looked in the direction of the falder that the bow of the ship was pointing.
It was right then.
"Your Highness."
An officer appeared upon hearing the news that he had come out of the room. The officer seemed surprised to see Noah's haggard face, but quickly composed himself and spoke.
“We have entered the joint administration of Bahma. We must either return to Herod or seek permission from the administration.”
Either return to Herod, or...
Noah thought of a small house.
A small house with a very low, hard chair sitting all alone. A house where the only thing to see was a wisteria hanging by the door.
However, the house where Olivia is wandering is even in her unconscious.
The house that raised young Olivia. And thus, the house where a part of her has melted and remains.
What kind of person is Olivia, and what does she like? The answer to that question, too, will be held within that house.
How could anyone dare call such a house crumbling and dilapidated?
It took Noah quite a while to give the order to the officer.
"I will go to the Bahma Community Area Management Office to obtain permission. After receiving permission, I will head to Pulder."
The officer was momentarily flustered, but soon disappeared with a word of acknowledgment. Noah watched his receding figure with a heavy gaze, then let out a long, deep breath.
Due to this choice, he will likely have to relinquish his status as a Prince. Not only did he set sail without the King's permission, but he will also head to Pulder on his own initiative.
But even if it meant doing that, it seemed like he had to go to Pulder, to that house, right now.
“Please wake up, Liv.”
If those smooth black eyes look at him again, he will say these words first.
"...Sorry."
The painful apple shattered and scattered in the sea breeze.
***
Olivia's soul was in the deepest part of the vast and deep sea, dwelling within her.
In the dim dawn, as the cold pierced her collar, a wrinkled hand tightened her clothes. Holding the warm hand, Olivia climbed the carriage steps, which felt incredibly high.
“Liv.”
The warmth of a lukewarm potato seeps between the teeth at the same time as a gentle voice is heard.
However, her heart was pounding.
“Oh, really. If you do this, I can’t give you a ride in the carriage! I told you you shouldn’t feed them things like that inside the carriage!”
The sharp rebuke sent shivers down her spine, and an inexplicable sense of shame and humiliation welled up inside her. Olivia lowered her head as much as possible and swallowed the food stuck between her teeth with all her might.
“I am truly sorry. However, since I have to leave at this early hour, I cannot feed you anything before coming out, and after attending classes all morning, it is only around noon...”
“What does that have to do with me!”
"...I'm sorry."
“If it’s going to be like this, let’s get off and take another carriage!”
"...I'm sorry."
Olivia looked to the side with her head bowed.
Her grandmother, who was the coolest person in the world, was bowing her head obsequiously.
For the reason that she put a potato between her teeth.
"Why are they making such a fuss about sending a girl to an expensive school that only aristocrats attend?"
The cruel mockery piercing the ears mercilessly slashed at the small, tender heart.
“...Grandma, I want to get off.”
Olivia summoned all her strength and whispered. A round tear fell before it could even blot her cheek.
The grandmother silently took off her outer coat, placed it over her head, and hugged her shoulders.
Olivia imagined the entire way to school, immersed in pitch-black darkness.
When this darkness lifts, she will stand in a vast field filled with bright sunshine, laughter, and the fragrant scent of grass. She will be in that comfortable place where her parents and grandparents stood like a barrier, looking down upon her.
However, when she opened her eyes, she found herself in a school with a very tall clock tower.
Private carriages carrying students entered one after another through the wide-open gate.
Approach the class with the mindset that you won't miss a single thing.
"Grandma, the boy sitting next to me calls me a commoner girl instead of my name."
"You must make what you don't know your own, even if you have to ask again and again."
"Some teachers treat me like I don't exist."
"Have a safe trip."
Olivia felt as though she were about to burst into tears, but she held them back. Then, reluctantly, she turned her feet away.
As she walked slowly, her grandmother suddenly hugged her from behind.
“The best thing I can give you... is this. Learn this, and stand fully on your own.”
At that time, those words sounded really harsh.
You say that because you don't know how I feel entering a school that feels like hell.
But as time passed and Olivia faced that scene, she saw it clearly: the tears welling in the old woman's eyes as she embraced the young girl from behind.
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