KTMD - Chapter 201



“Yes, Diana.”

A faint breath hitched against my collarbone. He leaned his head against my shoulder, looking very tired, and spoke.

"You tell me how to live. I only know how to kill, steal, and subdue. No one taught me."

“I knew it.”

Because that's how you survived, and that's how I learned through this unforgiving world.

I nodded, stroking his hair. I could hear the winter wind rustling the closed window. We first met as strangers in the depths of winter, and we welcomed a happy spring together. But I couldn't stop the lonely and bleak winter from coming. Thus, unhappiness and happiness are inseparable from life, repeating themselves forever.

Even if this war ends, a long and protracted Cold War will begin. Even if Frogen is defeated, another war criminal nation will emerge, and the conflict and tensions between the great powers will continue. The development of the atomic bomb, a grave contradiction in human history, will also remain unstoppable.

"Even if you know the future, you can't prevent war. There's no way to restrain human desire. In my world, there was war, too, and in the end, only winners and losers remained. Some countries are still at war."

Noah looked up as if concentrating on what I was saying and faced me.

"So that's why you told me to leave for the United States of Eugene. That's because it was the final victorious nation."

“It’s not exactly the same world I lived in, but it flows similarly.”

"Yes."

"I thought the world wouldn't change just because I acted differently. But didn't Dr. Rugen prevent the great tragedy of Frogen's atomic bomb development by burning his research data and fleeing?"

I smiled faintly at Noah.

“I, too, intend to do as much as I can while I am alive to prevent future tragedies and sacrifices.”

“Are you saying we should think about other people besides you and me?”

"Yes. It's to protect good people from death. For us now, and for our children who will live in the next era without us. Noah, I've always wanted a family. I needed someone on my side, someone I could trust and be kind to."

At the word "child," Noah's pursed lips parted. His expressionless face seemed utterly emotionless, but I knew that was the man's true nature.

His hand gently caressed my shoulder.

“I didn’t know.”

“I just realized this a while ago. I didn’t even know it.”

I pictured a slightly more distant future. Perhaps it was a dream. It was a dream, so insignificant that I felt embarrassed, and my heart ached.

"I wanted to have a child with you and build a normal family. It's nothing special, but..."

"That's amazing. The homework of living an ordinary life has always been difficult for me."

His hand on my shoulder tightened slightly. He turned my body toward him, looked down at me, and smiled prettily.

“That’s right. I wish you had told me sooner.”

“I think you don’t really want children.”

I leaned on Noah's shoulder and added shyly.

"Well, I've never even thought about starting a family of my own. Or getting married. I just didn't need anyone else in my life."

"What you want is what I want. I had a family, and my childhood was ordinary. My parents loved and cherished each other. When they passed away, leaving me behind, I felt like I wasn't included in that preciousness. But now that I hear your story, I think I understand."

He stopped talking, lowered his head, rested his forehead on my shoulder, and muttered softly.

“It was to create a world where I, a mixed-blood Esatian from a war criminal nation, could survive.”

“Yes. They would have loved you very much.”

I don't know the full extent of my parents' love, but one thing was certain: it was because they loved me that they could be affectionate toward me. I put my arms around his neck and held him close to me. There was a time when I considered the isolation and solitude, the freedom from being hurt by others, to be perfect.

I, who never knew that a person could live alone, changed. The unfamiliar world and environment couldn't change my selfish and helpless self. Instead, it was the other people I so desperately wanted to distance myself from that changed me.

“Even we, who are so lacking, can do it.”

“Yeah. If it fails like you said, just try again.”

Even as we were caught up in the horrific tide of war, we no longer feared what lay ahead. We wouldn't give up.

“Diana, let's go there and get married again. Have children.”

His gentle lips gently touched my flushed cheek. I couldn't tell if it was a remarriage or a reunion. It would be a stretch to call it a first marriage. And then there's the prospect of having a child. I rubbed my cheek, embarrassed. Noah, who smiled with wide eyes, slowly tilted his head.

“I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve kissed you.”

“That’s not a kiss. Shall I tell you?”

I did exactly what Noah had said, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his lips.

I glanced up at his drooping eyelashes, and the thick bags under his eyes were glowing red under the soft moonlight.

I made an offer to him.

“Forget it. I got divorced.”

“No, let’s pretend we never got divorced.”

With those words, our lips met with a short, exhaled breath. The dry lips, which felt like grime, gradually became moist and soft. My cheeks, once chilled, flushed brightly. My hair, tied up in a messy bun, unravelled and brushed my shoulder. His fingers tangled with the back of my head. I opened my eyes slightly, looking at his closed eyes and long eyelashes. He was still a beautiful person, unsuited to war.

'If only we hadn't met in this era.'

I've been thinking about this for a while, but it's just a useless premise. Trials are everywhere.

I grabbed the sleeve of his uniform shirt. I wanted to tell him how I felt. But the right words wouldn't come to mind. Before I could even think, a smooth tongue swirled around mine, gently tracing my lips and mouth. I slowly pulled away from his sweetly clinging lips, and the saliva that had been mixed together flowed thinly before disappearing. The crimson tongue visible through the gap between his slightly parted lips was maddeningly sensual. As I caught my breath and stared at him with a face full of excitement, I felt a button undone. Every breath that touched my bare skin sent goosebumps down my spine.

"Ugh..."

I covered my mouth with the back of my hand and swallowed my sound.

I became so sensitive that I could feel pain even when the soft, silvery hair gently tickled my chin.

It was different from the thirst that grew with each touch. I carefully touched the war wound that had grazed his shoulder. His hand gripped mine and pressed it down onto the sheets. I felt myself melting into his blue eyes as we stared at each other. A soft voice fell into my ear.

“I will make this world a better place for you.”

“Yes, already.”

Already, I love this world, which awakens in me a sense of longing and preciousness. He pressed his lips against my delicate skin, teasing me. A pleasant goosebump ran through my skin. It was strange. Even a faint brush was far more stimulating than clenching my teeth. His hot breath, yearning for pleasure, began to permeate every nook and cranny of my skin.

“But I come first.”

“Isn’t that obvious...”

Before I could even answer, he swallowed me whole. Those wild, unruly eyes, their self-control gone, tugging roughly at the collar of his shirt. The moonlight made them seem dreamy. He held my gaze, unbuttoning my uniform shirt with one hand. While my gaze was transfixed by those lustful eyes, his hand found its way to the hem of my skirt. The sight of him enjoying himself was a sight steeped in ferocious instinct, yet it was a different, pleasing quality. Finally, a languid command was heard.

“Relax.”

He grabbed my thigh, his expression now unfiltered and ferocious. The weight of the well-built man sent tingles through my entire body. His heavy breathing, mixed with a low, nasal rumble, endlessly stimulated my senses, making me dizzy.

Adjusting to it still felt overwhelming and burdensome. I remember that first night, like someone experiencing a new culture for the first time, I couldn't believe my eyes. A sigh escaped his throat. I glanced down with nervous eyes and was startled. Every time his ragged breath came, my legs twitched. He stroked my groaning cheek.

"It's hard?"

“Still too... no, no.”

“Is that a compliment?”

He kissed the corner of my eye as if expressing his gratitude and looked down at me with a serious face.

“Shall we name it first?”

“Suddenly?”

“No, we’ll do that later.”

What is this man talking about? His arms and shoulders grew tighter. His crazed eyes, reflecting moonlight, and his darkened brow seemed furious.

"Ah!"

The sudden, passionate gust of wind blew away all distracting thoughts. Before I knew it, I was completely at the mercy of the muscular man's power. The mounting stimulation coursed through my entire body, making me dizzy. Sticky, tangled breaths filled the room. A cry, unusual for my usual self, erupted. My waist rose, and my body, held captive, began to tremble. Realizing it was some kind of omen, I hurriedly tried to push away his solid chest. I didn't want to show myself shameful after such a long time. Just before my sanity vanished, I let out a scream that was almost a scream.

“No, stop. Stop!”

It was a useless cry. He ignored me and pressed his hand against my wrist. Instead, as if he'd been waiting, his lips curved loosely. It felt like a switch in my head had flickered on and off. Gasp, my breath caught, and my head fell back. My eyes went completely white, as if a flash of light had exploded before my eyes. Finally, I burst into tears. More than pleasure, this overwhelming, almost painful sensation was the climax. In the end, I was left writhing in indescribable pleasure. He smiled contentedly.

“It looks good.”

“...What is it?”

“Crying under me.”

My whole body was drained of energy, and I couldn't even think of a response. I just slumped forward, shaking my head. I didn't want him to see me like this. He licked the corners of my eyes, wiping away the tears, then grabbed my waist and whispered in my ear.

“I am not yet.”

Even as he reached the end, even as the intense heat that had filled me subsided, he held me breathlessly, never letting go. I gazed up at the breath scattering through his lips. It was different from the sexual encounters driven solely by pleasure. It wasn't just a release for the sake of ecstasy, but a feeling of our imperfect worlds intersecting and filling each other from deep within. The satisfaction of merging not only our bodies but also our hearts was a new experience. The man who had acted like a ferocious beast just moments ago smiled innocently.

“Diana, I like you.”

We'll never be perfect. That's why we longed for and needed each other. So much so that we considered it our last chance. The happiness that had been buried deep within us surged up, tinged with sadness. It was a strange feeling, a new and unfamiliar feeling. He intertwined his fingers with mine, whispering soothingly.

The man who looked down at me with his eyes wide open was beautiful.

“It’s okay to cry.”

Faint moonlight streamed in through the window.

We could hear the distant explosions, signaling the start of the bombing, but we didn't care. In fact, we thought it wouldn't matter if we died together.

***

We were lying on the bed, tightly embraced. No, just held tightly to him.

How many times have I had to shake off my reminiscence? I'm too exhausted to lift a finger. The stifling heat, steaming hot, has gradually cooled. For some reason, it feels good. Just as I'm about to drift off to sleep, he kisses the tip of my nose and speaks.

“Ayla and Renier are alive.”

"Yes?"

"I stole them and sent them to the New World. They're currently staying in a city called Bristle. Count Reuben's relatives are there. Let's go there too."

That man helped them both? I gaped in disbelief.

"Why?"

“Because that’s the normalcy you want.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

"I told you, compassion is your weakness. You get quite emotional when you think about others. It was dangerous, so I couldn't help it."

I didn't want to blame him for not telling me sooner. If he hadn't acted, my hesitation would have ultimately led to my failure. Perhaps he was better at helping others than I was. I stroked his cheek.

“Good job, you’re kind.”

He makes a strange expression when he receives praise.

“I thought you would be happy.”

“Yes. I’m happy. I was so sad because I thought they were dead.”

“Yes. Then that’s fine.”

"Noah. The country I was born in was occupied, colonized, and exploited, just like Eiland in the past. Like the Esat people, it was mercilessly exterminated."

Noah's eyes darkened as he listened to the story of my world.

“Is it still like that?”

"No. Supremacy, militarism, and imperialism were ultimately defeated. The caste system disappeared. My country was completely trampled and reduced to ruins in the process, but the survivors banded together and started over. They rebuilt their cities from ashes, went abroad to earn foreign currency, and pretty quickly ascended from developing to developed countries."

He looked down at me, resting his chin on his hand as if he was interested.

"Thank god."

“You said so, that the current human race is made up of strong people who survive by preying on others.”

"Yes."

"In my world, they say humans survived in nature because they embraced the weak and cooperated with one another. Someone once said this after seeing an ape's leg bone that showed signs of care and healing. That's why humanity has survived to this day."

I read this in a book. Among apes, there were those with strong, robust bodies and those with weaker bodies. Surprisingly, it was the latter that survived. These are the origins of modern humanity, and humans survived by surviving the fittest. Noah laughed.

"I guess there's no such thing as a worthless person. It's just that the desire to be recognized as valuable by others has become excessive."

He hugged my shoulders tightly and buried his head in my chest.

“I was also greedy.”

Dawn had already arrived. The translucent light of dawn crossed the veil of night. The rising sun would soon melt the frost on the windowpanes and the frost on the ground. Noah, who had placed his coat over me, extended his hand.

“Let's go, Diana.”

What will become of us now?

Perhaps I've lived without much hope for the future. I've just lived as I was born, and I haven't had any real-life goals. I've decided to do my best to change what I can, but accept what I can't. That's been my resolution for the future.

"Yes."

I held his hand firmly.

The mist rising from the nearby reservoir added to the cool scent of the dawn. A cold breeze caressed my cheek as it passed through the forest. Since I couldn't take Boaz, who was injured, with me, I decided to leave him at the mansion and contact Molina Vincent. I covered Boaz with a blanket as he slept and whispered to him.

“Boaz, I will definitely come back to get you.”

I walked alongside Noah, tucked his military coat around my shoulders. The surroundings were utterly silent, and I felt like we were alone in the world. In fact, I wished that were the case.


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