That night, late at night, Nife arrived. She was dressed in a very stylish dress; her hair, which had been neatly combed, was in disarray.
Until just a moment ago, I thought the atmosphere was good because she was holding hands with Ruin, but now that I looked at her, there was no energy at all on her face.
“Why are you looking like that? Come here.”
I gestured while sitting on the bed. Nife approached me with a hesitant, unsteady step. A dark cloud seemed to hang over her face, giving me a vague idea of what had happened to her.
“Nife...”
As I muttered in regret, Nife pursed her lips. It was heartbreaking to see the girl, who always burst into tears when she wanted to, struggling to hold back her tears. When I reached out, Nife came closer again. Now she was right in front of the bed.
“Anna, can you give me a handkerchief?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“...No. It’s okay.”
Nife shook her head, but her face looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to sit on the bed. Nife slumped down weakly, sniffling.
"I knew Your Highness would be relieved if I were to betray Ruin... but I had no one to go to. I know it's a foolish thought, but I thought Your Highness would comfort me..."
After a long period of weeping, tears as thick as chicken droppings finally began to fall from Nife's eyes. Her shoulders shook violently.
"Can't you just comfort me once? Seriously, no one in the world can support my love..."
I opened my arms wide in pity for Nife, who had finally burst into tears. It broke my heart to hear that no one in the world supported her love.
Nife jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly. Then she began to cry, tears and snot dripping down my shoulder. I sighed and patted Nife on the back.
"I hate Ruin so much! Don't be affectionate! If you don't like me, don't be affectionate! You made me fall in love with you! I would abandon my family for Ruin any day! Whether you're that cool or not!"
Nife hugged my neck and cried, cursing Ruin to her heart's content. I wiped her tears with a handkerchief, hugged her again, blew her nose, and hugged her again, repeating this countless times.
After crying for a long time, Nife finally left my arms. But it wasn't like she wanted to go back.
“Your Highness, may I sleep here tonight?”
The question, which was asked while twisting her body, was filled with aegyo. The cute girl was still adorable even though her eyes were puffy from crying for a long time. Having been feeling down because of Julian, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
“Yes. Let’s sleep together.”
Nife's maid was at a loss, but since I said it was okay, she probably couldn't help it. Nife's maid brought her pajamas, and we lay down side by side. Nife, still damp, spoke with excitement.
“Wow, this is my first time sleeping with my friend.”
“Am I your friend?”
I gently pinched Nife's nose, but Nife made a hissing sound.
“We were friends when we were young. But I knew Your Highness would become a great woman.”
I tucked Nife's hair behind her ear. Nife blinked lazily, as if she were in a good mood.
“How did you know?”
"Well, you've been cool since you were little. You know what? There are a lot of girls who like you, Your Highness."
No way. I knew how many people would laugh, envy, and glare at me just by going to parties. The derogatory label of "the woman who married a monster for power" always followed me around. I laughed, as if it were nonsense.
Then, Nife suddenly sat up. The blanket was thrown back, letting in a cold wind, but Nife didn't care.
"It's true. Everyone calls His Royal Highness the Grand Duke and Your Highness the Beauty and the Beast, saying it's incredibly romantic."
“Beauty and the Beast?”
I burst out laughing. Julian was too kind a man to be a beast. He was also incredibly handsome.
"Since you got married, you two have been throwing parties and attending hunting competitions. Everyone is envious of how close you two are."
“Is that a rumor?”
"Rumors? From what I can tell, you two seem to get along really well. Oh, and did you know that there's also a rumor going around that Your Highness the Grand Duke is too handsome to be called a 'beast'?"
"Really?"
"Yes, indeed! I guess the courageous ladies secretly peeked at His Highness the Grand Duke whenever he appeared. Honestly, I was surprised when I saw him. Eating people... I think he'd only drink dew. It's still scary, though."
I laughed and laid Nife back on the bed. I even covered her with the blanket, but Nife's eyes were bright and wide, not a trace of sleep.
“Did you really get married for love like the rumors say? Since when have you been together?”
“Nife, let’s go to sleep now.”
"Why? Can't you tell me? I'll keep it a secret."
I patted Nife's shoulder. But Nife wasn't a newborn, so this wasn't enough to lull her to sleep. I finally groaned and opened my mouth.
“We are in a political marriage.”
“But are you still so close?”
“Because His Highness the Grand Duke is a good person.”
“How much is it?”
"Yes?"
“How much do you like it?”
I said he was a good person, and how much I liked him. I was dumbfounded. But Nife, desperate to hear the answer, hugged me tightly and kept asking. I had no choice but to answer, even if it meant breaking free from his embrace.
"I like him as a friend. And so does he. For a political couple, we're quite lucky."
I thought I answered well, but Nife got up even faster than before and threw her pillow into the air, expressing her anger.
“Why, why is that?”
“If that’s a friend, then I don’t have any friends!”
“But Julian and I really...”
“Who holds their friend’s hand like that!”
Then, all of a sudden, she grabbed my cheeks with both hands. She grabbed them so tightly that they felt cold.
“Hey, Nife?”
“Who would grab their friend’s face like this!”
I couldn't say anything; her cheeks pressed against mine. I felt my face flushing uncontrollably.
Up until now, I had been denying all the expressions of affection I had shown to Julian, or Julian had shown to me, in the name of friendship.
“Grown-up adults are worse at dating than I am!”
Hearing those words, it felt like a huge rock had fallen on my heart. Are you saying I'm worse at dating than the kid who cried so much after being dumped by Ruin today? Me, living my second life? I don't think I'm bad at dating; I just don't think I'm doing it...
Nife pounded her chest as if she was frustrated, then collapsed on the bed.
"Ugh, what am I even talking about today? This isn't fun anymore. Go to sleep."
“Yeah, yeah. Good night.”
“Your Highness, sleep well.”
After saying that, Nife fell asleep, breathing loudly.
“Ugh, Ruin... You bad boy...”
"Huh?"
When I turned around, she suddenly started swearing, and it seemed she was just sleeping. I patted Nife on the back. Then, Nife jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly.
“I like bad guys...”
Tears welled up in the corners of Nife's eyes as she muttered. It was an apology to the girl who had just been dumped, but I still envied Nife. The love she could embrace with all her heart was so lovable.
As I watched Nife's tears, I remembered what she had said out loud.
'Who holds their friend's hand like that! Who holds their friend's face like that!'
Do other people think Julian and I are close? Is what I do to Julian that strange?
I lay flat on my back and stared at the dark ceiling. The conversation I'd had with Julian earlier came back to me.
'I think I'll distance myself from you for a while.'
I thought Julian would object. But he thought for a moment and nodded. After that, we parted ways without much conversation. I hadn't done anything since Julian left. If Nife hadn't come, I probably would have been lost in thought all night.
Thinking back, that was a mistake from the start. With the assassin in tow, I expected Julian to be overprotective. If things continued this way, I'd really...
'I might fall in love with Julian.'
Could there be any emotion so shameless in the world? I spent the night waking up in shame, the blanket covering me from head to toe.
“Oh, Your Highness. Am I a very sleepy person?”
The next morning, when Nife opened her eyes, she couldn't hide her shock as soon as she saw my face. I touched my face, embarrassed.
“You hugged me and cried.”
“Me? Really?”
"Oh my God!"
While Nife screamed beside me, Anna helped me look in the mirror. The sight I saw in the round mirror was truly absurd. Tired from the night, the blood vessels in my eyes were prominent, and the skin under them was dark. My cheeks looked lifeless.
“Today is the day I have to go back. What should I do?”
I sighed as I looked in the mirror. It was a day I had to face many nobles. And Julian too... I didn't want Julian to see me in this haggard state. I'd heard, even jokingly, that I was more beautiful than Ari Eriant... No! What does that have to do with anything?
I asked Anna to prepare roughly. I emphasized the word "roughly." Anna tilted her head, but diligently prepared me.
And when I opened the barracks door, I saw Julian standing right in front of me. I met his eyes, covered my face, and spoke directly to Anna.
“The sun is too hot. Could you please prepare a hat? Something with a veil.”
Until just a moment ago, I thought the atmosphere was good because she was holding hands with Ruin, but now that I looked at her, there was no energy at all on her face.
“Why are you looking like that? Come here.”
I gestured while sitting on the bed. Nife approached me with a hesitant, unsteady step. A dark cloud seemed to hang over her face, giving me a vague idea of what had happened to her.
“Nife...”
As I muttered in regret, Nife pursed her lips. It was heartbreaking to see the girl, who always burst into tears when she wanted to, struggling to hold back her tears. When I reached out, Nife came closer again. Now she was right in front of the bed.
“Anna, can you give me a handkerchief?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“...No. It’s okay.”
Nife shook her head, but her face looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to sit on the bed. Nife slumped down weakly, sniffling.
"I knew Your Highness would be relieved if I were to betray Ruin... but I had no one to go to. I know it's a foolish thought, but I thought Your Highness would comfort me..."
After a long period of weeping, tears as thick as chicken droppings finally began to fall from Nife's eyes. Her shoulders shook violently.
"Can't you just comfort me once? Seriously, no one in the world can support my love..."
I opened my arms wide in pity for Nife, who had finally burst into tears. It broke my heart to hear that no one in the world supported her love.
Nife jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly. Then she began to cry, tears and snot dripping down my shoulder. I sighed and patted Nife on the back.
"I hate Ruin so much! Don't be affectionate! If you don't like me, don't be affectionate! You made me fall in love with you! I would abandon my family for Ruin any day! Whether you're that cool or not!"
Nife hugged my neck and cried, cursing Ruin to her heart's content. I wiped her tears with a handkerchief, hugged her again, blew her nose, and hugged her again, repeating this countless times.
After crying for a long time, Nife finally left my arms. But it wasn't like she wanted to go back.
“Your Highness, may I sleep here tonight?”
The question, which was asked while twisting her body, was filled with aegyo. The cute girl was still adorable even though her eyes were puffy from crying for a long time. Having been feeling down because of Julian, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
“Yes. Let’s sleep together.”
Nife's maid was at a loss, but since I said it was okay, she probably couldn't help it. Nife's maid brought her pajamas, and we lay down side by side. Nife, still damp, spoke with excitement.
“Wow, this is my first time sleeping with my friend.”
“Am I your friend?”
I gently pinched Nife's nose, but Nife made a hissing sound.
“We were friends when we were young. But I knew Your Highness would become a great woman.”
I tucked Nife's hair behind her ear. Nife blinked lazily, as if she were in a good mood.
“How did you know?”
"Well, you've been cool since you were little. You know what? There are a lot of girls who like you, Your Highness."
No way. I knew how many people would laugh, envy, and glare at me just by going to parties. The derogatory label of "the woman who married a monster for power" always followed me around. I laughed, as if it were nonsense.
Then, Nife suddenly sat up. The blanket was thrown back, letting in a cold wind, but Nife didn't care.
"It's true. Everyone calls His Royal Highness the Grand Duke and Your Highness the Beauty and the Beast, saying it's incredibly romantic."
“Beauty and the Beast?”
I burst out laughing. Julian was too kind a man to be a beast. He was also incredibly handsome.
"Since you got married, you two have been throwing parties and attending hunting competitions. Everyone is envious of how close you two are."
“Is that a rumor?”
"Rumors? From what I can tell, you two seem to get along really well. Oh, and did you know that there's also a rumor going around that Your Highness the Grand Duke is too handsome to be called a 'beast'?"
"Really?"
"Yes, indeed! I guess the courageous ladies secretly peeked at His Highness the Grand Duke whenever he appeared. Honestly, I was surprised when I saw him. Eating people... I think he'd only drink dew. It's still scary, though."
I laughed and laid Nife back on the bed. I even covered her with the blanket, but Nife's eyes were bright and wide, not a trace of sleep.
“Did you really get married for love like the rumors say? Since when have you been together?”
“Nife, let’s go to sleep now.”
"Why? Can't you tell me? I'll keep it a secret."
I patted Nife's shoulder. But Nife wasn't a newborn, so this wasn't enough to lull her to sleep. I finally groaned and opened my mouth.
“We are in a political marriage.”
“But are you still so close?”
“Because His Highness the Grand Duke is a good person.”
“How much is it?”
"Yes?"
“How much do you like it?”
I said he was a good person, and how much I liked him. I was dumbfounded. But Nife, desperate to hear the answer, hugged me tightly and kept asking. I had no choice but to answer, even if it meant breaking free from his embrace.
"I like him as a friend. And so does he. For a political couple, we're quite lucky."
I thought I answered well, but Nife got up even faster than before and threw her pillow into the air, expressing her anger.
“Why, why is that?”
“If that’s a friend, then I don’t have any friends!”
“But Julian and I really...”
“Who holds their friend’s hand like that!”
Then, all of a sudden, she grabbed my cheeks with both hands. She grabbed them so tightly that they felt cold.
“Hey, Nife?”
“Who would grab their friend’s face like this!”
I couldn't say anything; her cheeks pressed against mine. I felt my face flushing uncontrollably.
Up until now, I had been denying all the expressions of affection I had shown to Julian, or Julian had shown to me, in the name of friendship.
“Grown-up adults are worse at dating than I am!”
Hearing those words, it felt like a huge rock had fallen on my heart. Are you saying I'm worse at dating than the kid who cried so much after being dumped by Ruin today? Me, living my second life? I don't think I'm bad at dating; I just don't think I'm doing it...
Nife pounded her chest as if she was frustrated, then collapsed on the bed.
"Ugh, what am I even talking about today? This isn't fun anymore. Go to sleep."
“Yeah, yeah. Good night.”
“Your Highness, sleep well.”
After saying that, Nife fell asleep, breathing loudly.
“Ugh, Ruin... You bad boy...”
"Huh?"
When I turned around, she suddenly started swearing, and it seemed she was just sleeping. I patted Nife on the back. Then, Nife jumped into my arms and hugged me tightly.
“I like bad guys...”
Tears welled up in the corners of Nife's eyes as she muttered. It was an apology to the girl who had just been dumped, but I still envied Nife. The love she could embrace with all her heart was so lovable.
As I watched Nife's tears, I remembered what she had said out loud.
'Who holds their friend's hand like that! Who holds their friend's face like that!'
Do other people think Julian and I are close? Is what I do to Julian that strange?
I lay flat on my back and stared at the dark ceiling. The conversation I'd had with Julian earlier came back to me.
'I think I'll distance myself from you for a while.'
I thought Julian would object. But he thought for a moment and nodded. After that, we parted ways without much conversation. I hadn't done anything since Julian left. If Nife hadn't come, I probably would have been lost in thought all night.
Thinking back, that was a mistake from the start. With the assassin in tow, I expected Julian to be overprotective. If things continued this way, I'd really...
'I might fall in love with Julian.'
Could there be any emotion so shameless in the world? I spent the night waking up in shame, the blanket covering me from head to toe.
***
“Oh, Your Highness. Am I a very sleepy person?”
The next morning, when Nife opened her eyes, she couldn't hide her shock as soon as she saw my face. I touched my face, embarrassed.
“You hugged me and cried.”
“Me? Really?”
“Yeah, you were crying while saying, ‘Damn you, Ruin.’”
While Nife screamed beside me, Anna helped me look in the mirror. The sight I saw in the round mirror was truly absurd. Tired from the night, the blood vessels in my eyes were prominent, and the skin under them was dark. My cheeks looked lifeless.
“Today is the day I have to go back. What should I do?”
I sighed as I looked in the mirror. It was a day I had to face many nobles. And Julian too... I didn't want Julian to see me in this haggard state. I'd heard, even jokingly, that I was more beautiful than Ari Eriant... No! What does that have to do with anything?
I asked Anna to prepare roughly. I emphasized the word "roughly." Anna tilted her head, but diligently prepared me.
And when I opened the barracks door, I saw Julian standing right in front of me. I met his eyes, covered my face, and spoke directly to Anna.
“The sun is too hot. Could you please prepare a hat? Something with a veil.”
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