I bit my lip and lowered my gaze. Julian's lips caught my eye, and I hastily lowered my head further. We had kissed each other's hands and cheeks affectionately before. But that was perfectly acceptable, even in the name of "family."
What was Julian thinking right now? I mustered up my courage and raised my head. I read a secret desire mixed with confusion in Julian's crimson eyes. Looking into those eyes, a tingling sensation ran through my fingertips, like lightning.
Over Julian's shoulder, I saw Anna slowly backing away from the barracks.
Why are you like that, too! Don't go!
I shouted with all my might, but Anna didn't even pretend to see me and disappeared in an instant.
I creaked as if the clockwork inside me had broken. Julian and I had been left alone many times. But for some reason, ever since attending this hunting competition, whenever we were alone together, the atmosphere always felt strangely unsettling.
"Ma'am."
"Yes, yes?"
“Don’t be so nervous. Nothing will happen.”
When I met Julian's eyes again, the desire from earlier was gone. His eyes were, as usual, blunt, heavy, yet affectionate.
“Ha, haha. This lady didn’t think about anything?”
I straightened up, smiling awkwardly. Julian was too handsome and charming to think about anything else. Honestly, I was often surprised that Princess Abigail was the only woman in high society who was crazy about marrying him.
I straightened Julian's mask and stepped back. An awkward air flowed between us. We weren't children. We were old enough to grasp the situation just now.
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. Now that I think about it, Julian... has any experience sleeping with anyone? He's a loner, so probably not. As I continued to glance at him, feeling lost, Julian got up from his seat.
“If you feel uncomfortable being together, just get up.”
“Oh, no.”
Anna would be there outside, leaving the couple to do their own thing, but if Julian had already left, she would have been embarrassed too.
More than anything, I hated having to send Julian away. Is it a pity? But we're family and friends... My head was spinning so hard I was dizzy.
As I was fiddling with the pillow, a rustling sound came from my fingertips. I slid my hand under the pillow and found a note I'd received and hidden away some time ago.
"Ah."
As I held up the white note, Julian's gaze fell on my hand. I thought I'd found the perfect item to lighten the mood. Julian, relieved, immediately asked me.
“What is that?”
“Can you hold the candlestick for me?”
Julian, as I requested, brought a candlestick and placed it near me. I quickly tried to place a note over the candle, but then stopped.
I decided to keep as few secrets from Julian as possible. I figured I wouldn't be able to tell him everything, but I would tell him what I could.
So, it wasn't difficult to show Ari Eriant's note. However, the note was addressed to Princess Abigail.
And Julian was close with Princess Abigail. Their relationship grew distant because of me, but it was true that the two had maintained a trust, knowingly or unknowingly, since childhood.
“Julian, do you trust me?”
Julian laughed playfully at my question.
“Well, it’s too much to ask me to believe you after just one time.”
I was sure I had some leeway, not knowing the true nature of the note. I followed him, smiling awkwardly and adding,
“I hope you believe me.”
Having said that, I held the note close to the candle. The contents I had previously seen were revealed in full.
When the candle reached the last sentence, it flickered wildly in Julian's eyes. He took the note from me and began reading it from the beginning himself. Watching him, I could tell this wasn't going to be an easy task.
The warm air that had gently drifted between us vanished in an instant. I regretted ever showing this to Julian.
Julian, who had read the note three times, asked in a low voice.
“How did you get it?”
“Young Lady Sasha’s former maid saved me.”
“...That’s not very reliable information.”
Julian spat out the words, folded the note, and tucked it into his cloak. It was a sudden action, but no one tried to stop him.
I knew that alone wouldn't be enough evidence anyway. Julian looked straight at me and spoke as if making an excuse.
“It’s not that I don’t trust my wife.”
"I know."
I answered that way, but even I felt my voice was sharp. Julian brushed his forehead and spoke.
“Abby... I know how the Princess treated you.”
“Do you think I am acting like this out of affection for the Princess?”
“Absolutely not.”
Julian said firmly.
“What I mean is, I know it would be unpleasant for you to have me defend the Princess.”
“So you mean to defend the Princess?”
“...I just want to talk about the Princess I’ve been watching over.”
I kept my distance from him. It didn't seem like a conversation worth having with him this close. I couldn't tell myself whether I wanted to hear Julian's story or not.
Why did I tell Julian this story in the first place? Did I completely forget that he had a personal connection to me? Why did I think he would abandon the Princess and completely side with me?
Julian, seeing my expression, sighed and said.
“I think it would be better not to talk about it.”
“Why? Please do.”
I regretted my sharp words as soon as I uttered them. I held out my palm to Julian, took a moment to catch my breath, and then offered a hasty apology.
“I’m sorry. I got a little excited.”
“No. You don’t have to apologize.”
Was it because I was impatient? Even Julian seemed impatient. I swallowed hard. I decided to honestly acknowledge the emotions surging within me.
“Honestly, I feel bad that you are defending the Princess.”
“I understand.”
“...I also understand in my head that the Princess you experienced may be different from the Princess I experienced.”
I kept flipping my hair back and letting it fall over my shoulders. I couldn't stop playing with the ends of my hair.
I realized for the first time that I was such a distracted and childish person. Yes, I've decided to humbly accept my childishness.
“If this note is true, then the Princess is no different from the person who tried to kill me.”
"...If that’s the case.”
Julian closed his eyes and sat in thought for a moment. It didn't last long, but it felt like an eternity to me. When Julian finally spoke, I felt the urge to shut him down.
“Whoever it was, I won’t forgive them.”
But the moment I heard Julian's answer, I felt a little calmer. The childish feelings within me hadn't completely disappeared. Perhaps it was because Julian treated me like a child? I tried my best to control my emotions and spoke calmly.
“Let me hear your story first.”
“...I don’t want to talk about something that will obviously hurt your feelings.”
“I want to hear it.”
Julian seemed genuinely unwilling to speak. But when I looked him straight in the eye and urged him on, he finally spoke. His face, his brow furrowed, was filled with embarrassment, but there was also a clear yearning for a certain era.
“The Princess is the first person, other than my mother, to accept the face behind my mask.”
The world called Julian a monster. He was ostracized simply because his body was made of stone. Rumors even circulated that he could eat people.
Now he's so good at hiding his emotions that it's become a habit, but was he like that when he was a little boy?
It would have been difficult. If Abigail had appeared to him, if she had accepted Julian's bare face so casually...
“I don’t want to think that the Princess is someone who can kill people.”
It wasn't unreasonable to think that way. No, perhaps it was right to think that way.
Reason and emotion played separately, like water and oil, without mixing. I wanted to nod maturely and reassure him, saying, "That's possible." But at the same time, I wanted to shove him by the shoulder and shout, "I almost died!"
"Just give me a little time. I'll investigate this matter further, and if the Princess really has anything to do with it, I'll file a formal complaint with the royal family."
Julian was trying. I nodded weakly. Julian groaned briefly at my attitude.
“Are you disappointed in me?”
“No. I’m disappointed in myself.”
“...There is nothing wrong with you.”
I shook my head. I looked at Julian listlessly, a look of embarrassment evident on his face. I fidgeted with the hand on my thigh and spoke.
“I think you expect too much from me without giving me anything in return.”
“No.”
“No, I’m right.”
I spoke firmly, hesitating. I knew I'd regret it within a day if I uttered these words. But right now, I had to say it.
“I think I’ll distance myself from you for a while.”
What was Julian thinking right now? I mustered up my courage and raised my head. I read a secret desire mixed with confusion in Julian's crimson eyes. Looking into those eyes, a tingling sensation ran through my fingertips, like lightning.
Over Julian's shoulder, I saw Anna slowly backing away from the barracks.
Why are you like that, too! Don't go!
I shouted with all my might, but Anna didn't even pretend to see me and disappeared in an instant.
I creaked as if the clockwork inside me had broken. Julian and I had been left alone many times. But for some reason, ever since attending this hunting competition, whenever we were alone together, the atmosphere always felt strangely unsettling.
"Ma'am."
"Yes, yes?"
“Don’t be so nervous. Nothing will happen.”
When I met Julian's eyes again, the desire from earlier was gone. His eyes were, as usual, blunt, heavy, yet affectionate.
“Ha, haha. This lady didn’t think about anything?”
I straightened up, smiling awkwardly. Julian was too handsome and charming to think about anything else. Honestly, I was often surprised that Princess Abigail was the only woman in high society who was crazy about marrying him.
I straightened Julian's mask and stepped back. An awkward air flowed between us. We weren't children. We were old enough to grasp the situation just now.
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. Now that I think about it, Julian... has any experience sleeping with anyone? He's a loner, so probably not. As I continued to glance at him, feeling lost, Julian got up from his seat.
“If you feel uncomfortable being together, just get up.”
“Oh, no.”
Anna would be there outside, leaving the couple to do their own thing, but if Julian had already left, she would have been embarrassed too.
More than anything, I hated having to send Julian away. Is it a pity? But we're family and friends... My head was spinning so hard I was dizzy.
As I was fiddling with the pillow, a rustling sound came from my fingertips. I slid my hand under the pillow and found a note I'd received and hidden away some time ago.
"Ah."
As I held up the white note, Julian's gaze fell on my hand. I thought I'd found the perfect item to lighten the mood. Julian, relieved, immediately asked me.
“What is that?”
“Can you hold the candlestick for me?”
Julian, as I requested, brought a candlestick and placed it near me. I quickly tried to place a note over the candle, but then stopped.
I decided to keep as few secrets from Julian as possible. I figured I wouldn't be able to tell him everything, but I would tell him what I could.
So, it wasn't difficult to show Ari Eriant's note. However, the note was addressed to Princess Abigail.
And Julian was close with Princess Abigail. Their relationship grew distant because of me, but it was true that the two had maintained a trust, knowingly or unknowingly, since childhood.
“Julian, do you trust me?”
Julian laughed playfully at my question.
“Well, it’s too much to ask me to believe you after just one time.”
I was sure I had some leeway, not knowing the true nature of the note. I followed him, smiling awkwardly and adding,
“I hope you believe me.”
Having said that, I held the note close to the candle. The contents I had previously seen were revealed in full.
She was plotting something for the hunting competition and, as a result, was persuading Prince Cain. That wasn't the most important part of the letter, though.
[...Please take care of yourself, Your Highness.]
When the candle reached the last sentence, it flickered wildly in Julian's eyes. He took the note from me and began reading it from the beginning himself. Watching him, I could tell this wasn't going to be an easy task.
The warm air that had gently drifted between us vanished in an instant. I regretted ever showing this to Julian.
Julian, who had read the note three times, asked in a low voice.
“How did you get it?”
“Young Lady Sasha’s former maid saved me.”
“...That’s not very reliable information.”
Julian spat out the words, folded the note, and tucked it into his cloak. It was a sudden action, but no one tried to stop him.
I knew that alone wouldn't be enough evidence anyway. Julian looked straight at me and spoke as if making an excuse.
“It’s not that I don’t trust my wife.”
"I know."
I answered that way, but even I felt my voice was sharp. Julian brushed his forehead and spoke.
“Abby... I know how the Princess treated you.”
“Do you think I am acting like this out of affection for the Princess?”
“Absolutely not.”
Julian said firmly.
“What I mean is, I know it would be unpleasant for you to have me defend the Princess.”
“So you mean to defend the Princess?”
“...I just want to talk about the Princess I’ve been watching over.”
I kept my distance from him. It didn't seem like a conversation worth having with him this close. I couldn't tell myself whether I wanted to hear Julian's story or not.
Why did I tell Julian this story in the first place? Did I completely forget that he had a personal connection to me? Why did I think he would abandon the Princess and completely side with me?
Julian, seeing my expression, sighed and said.
“I think it would be better not to talk about it.”
“Why? Please do.”
I regretted my sharp words as soon as I uttered them. I held out my palm to Julian, took a moment to catch my breath, and then offered a hasty apology.
“I’m sorry. I got a little excited.”
“No. You don’t have to apologize.”
Was it because I was impatient? Even Julian seemed impatient. I swallowed hard. I decided to honestly acknowledge the emotions surging within me.
“Honestly, I feel bad that you are defending the Princess.”
“I understand.”
“...I also understand in my head that the Princess you experienced may be different from the Princess I experienced.”
I kept flipping my hair back and letting it fall over my shoulders. I couldn't stop playing with the ends of my hair.
I realized for the first time that I was such a distracted and childish person. Yes, I've decided to humbly accept my childishness.
“If this note is true, then the Princess is no different from the person who tried to kill me.”
"...If that’s the case.”
Julian closed his eyes and sat in thought for a moment. It didn't last long, but it felt like an eternity to me. When Julian finally spoke, I felt the urge to shut him down.
“Whoever it was, I won’t forgive them.”
But the moment I heard Julian's answer, I felt a little calmer. The childish feelings within me hadn't completely disappeared. Perhaps it was because Julian treated me like a child? I tried my best to control my emotions and spoke calmly.
“Let me hear your story first.”
“...I don’t want to talk about something that will obviously hurt your feelings.”
“I want to hear it.”
Julian seemed genuinely unwilling to speak. But when I looked him straight in the eye and urged him on, he finally spoke. His face, his brow furrowed, was filled with embarrassment, but there was also a clear yearning for a certain era.
“The Princess is the first person, other than my mother, to accept the face behind my mask.”
The world called Julian a monster. He was ostracized simply because his body was made of stone. Rumors even circulated that he could eat people.
Now he's so good at hiding his emotions that it's become a habit, but was he like that when he was a little boy?
It would have been difficult. If Abigail had appeared to him, if she had accepted Julian's bare face so casually...
“I don’t want to think that the Princess is someone who can kill people.”
It wasn't unreasonable to think that way. No, perhaps it was right to think that way.
Reason and emotion played separately, like water and oil, without mixing. I wanted to nod maturely and reassure him, saying, "That's possible." But at the same time, I wanted to shove him by the shoulder and shout, "I almost died!"
"Just give me a little time. I'll investigate this matter further, and if the Princess really has anything to do with it, I'll file a formal complaint with the royal family."
Julian was trying. I nodded weakly. Julian groaned briefly at my attitude.
“Are you disappointed in me?”
“No. I’m disappointed in myself.”
“...There is nothing wrong with you.”
I shook my head. I looked at Julian listlessly, a look of embarrassment evident on his face. I fidgeted with the hand on my thigh and spoke.
“I think you expect too much from me without giving me anything in return.”
“No.”
“No, I’m right.”
I spoke firmly, hesitating. I knew I'd regret it within a day if I uttered these words. But right now, I had to say it.
“I think I’ll distance myself from you for a while.”
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