Anna looked up at the sky, her face bewildered. It was autumn, and morning, so the sunlight wasn't warm at all.
But I stubbornly took my hat and lowered my veil. When I stepped outside again, Julian was standing there, still in the same position as before. Then, naturally, he tried to accept the wheelchair from Anna.
“It’s Anna’s job.”
Anna, along with everyone else present, looked at me with bewildered eyes at my stiff tone. Only Julian looked at me without any change in expression.
“Why are you doing something that will damage your reputation?”
“I don’t understand why caring for a sick wife is considered degrading.”
Then he walked towards me. I was confident I wouldn't budge no matter what he said, but he quickly lifted me out of the wheelchair.
“Wh, what!”
I cried out in embarrassment, but my arms naturally wrapped around his neck. It had become a habit, as I'd been hugged by him more than once.
“There are a lot of people!”
"Then. Are you going to walk into the carriage yourself, Madam? With those legs?"
"What carriage are you going in? I have to attend the closing ceremony of the hunting competition..."
I realized people were staring at me as I shouted, so I buried my head in his shoulder. That way, even if I couldn't block their gaze, I could still ignore them.
I could feel the back of his neck turning red like a carrot. I leaned in close, almost pressing my nose against his ear, and whispered.
“Let’s keep our distance.”
“I understand.”
“But why...”
Julian gestured to the attendant and pointed to the carriage. The attendant hurried over and opened the carriage door. Julian placed me on the carriage seat. His careful handling, as if he were handling a porcelain doll, made my heart pound.
Maybe it was because of Nife's scream last night... I kept thinking about Julian. Julian's face was dry, as if he knew my feelings or not.
“I won’t be watching the closing ceremony.”
“I’ll see! I have to meet Young Lady Eriant, too.”
“Don’t look. In such a dangerous place, it’s better to hurry and turn back.”
Julian didn't even pretend to listen to me. He'd never acted so recklessly before. I held the edge of the veil firmly with one hand, careful not to let him see my face.
Saying I'd distance myself from him, yet not wanting to show him my messy face, I was baffled by the ambivalence I held toward Julian.
The reason I initially suggested we distance ourselves was that I felt like I was taking what he gave me for granted. But now there's another reason.
'I shouldn't like Julian.'
It was absurd to say I'd use Julian and the Duke of Duchzan, that I'd betray him to protect my family, and yet still like him. For that reason alone, I decided to distance myself from him.
Julian put me down on the carriage and tried to sit down opposite me. I tried to stop him by holding out my palm.
Normally, I would have stopped him at that single action, but Julian gently grabbed my hand and climbed into the carriage. Anyone who saw me would have thought I was reaching out to help him.
I realized it was impossible to remain calm and composed. I finally stammered and confronted him.
“Da, da, da, why are you like this?”
“What’s the problem?”
“You agreed, didn’t you? Because I depend on you too much... I’m keeping my distance.”
“You didn’t say since when.”
I was so shocked that I was speechless. Julian called a servant, placed a small platform under the chair, and placed my legs on it.
Frankly, I was grateful for his consideration, as sitting with my leg down for so long while injured would have been a struggle. The problem was that if I continued like this, it would be no different from before.
“Is the sun still hot?”
“Yes. It’s very, very hot.”
I pulled my hat down low and spoke firmly. Julian didn't respond. Soon after, Nife jumped up next to me and hugged me tightly.
“Your Highness, I will miss you.”
At those words, my eyes widened.
“Are you going straight to Sasha’s estate?”
“You were so desperate to get me out right away, weren’t you?”
“What did I want to send out so badly...”
As I muttered in frustration, Nife lightly kissed my cheek. Startled, I quickly placed my hand on my cheek. What surprised me even more was Julian's attitude. He placed his arm between me and Nife and glared at her.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate behavior.”
“Why? Her Highness and I sleep in the same bed, hugging each other.”
“...What did you say?”
“I told you we slept together, hugging each other in the same bed, Your Highness!”
Nife smiled brightly and spoke clearly. What a sharp and bold girl she was. I was speechless. Julian looked at me as if he was expecting an explanation, which made me even more embarrassed.
“You put so much emphasis on prestige to me, but it seems you’re not strict with your friend.”
"You're doing it in front of everyone, but I'm not. Do you feel any less proud if you chat with your close friend all night?"
When I answered in bewilderment, Nife burst into laughter. I tilted my head, looking back and forth between Julian's fearful expression and Nife's bright smile.
“Am I right?”
“Why are you so cute, Your Highness the Grand Duchess?”
“If you keep doing that, you’ll get scolded by the maid again.”
Indeed, it wasn't long before Nife's maid came running in, panting, and dragged her out. Nife grumbled for a while as she alighted from the carriage. But, succumbing to the maid's urging, she lifted the hem of her skirt and bowed.
"It was an honor to meet you, Your Highness. It was a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness."
My nose tingled when I received Nife's greeting. Nife winked at me, then looked startled, as if she'd spotted someone next to her.
“I’ll really go. Write a letter!”
Without even listening to my response, Nife waved her hand and ran away. I thought I knew who Nife had seen. And soon, Ruin, with a troubled expression, appeared outside the carriage door.
“Your Highness, hello.”
For some reason, it felt like Ruin had grown a lot overnight.
“Nife sees you and runs away.”
“...There’s nothing I can do. That kid and I have different paths.”
Ruin feigned composure, but I could clearly see a shadow creeping over his cheek. I looked at him with bitter eyes. Ruin, perhaps not wanting me to look like that, forced a bright smile.
“I’m going straight back to Count Winsley’s residence.”
"You too?"
Ruin nodded without hesitation.
"I can't rest forever. Your Highness, I've been in your care. I sincerely thank you."
“Take care.”
“Yes, I hope Your Highness has a safe journey. Well then, I’ll leave now.”
Ruin left a brief greeting, even shorter than Nife's, and disappeared. It had been quite a bustle on the way there, but on the way back, Julian and I were the only ones left. As the carriage pulled away, I felt a profound sense of emptiness. I hid behind a veil, a lonely expression on my face.
“You don’t have to be so lonely.”
I looked up. How did he know?
"You really are so attached to everyone. Even Younh Lady Sasha seemed uncomfortable at first, but now she seems to miss you."
“Not really.”
I gave a curt reply. After that, there was no conversation between us. Except for the occasional stop by Julian to check my wounds, not a single sound was heard.
Julian had his arms crossed and his eyes closed. It was unclear whether he was truly asleep or just closed.
When the carriage reached Duchzan Territory, I opened my mouth to Julian, who still had his eyes closed.
“I have a favor to ask.”
At my words, Julian opened his eyes, which had been closed the whole time. It was as slow as a snake revealing itself.
"What?"
“I’d like to stay at your villa for a while.”
“Is this an extension of the idea of keeping distance?”
"Yes, that's right."
I fiddled with my bandage for no reason.
"I'm also going to do some renovations on the villa. I told you I wanted to do that before. I've been going back and forth, but I haven't made any progress."
Julian took my hand away from the bandage. He didn't hold it for long. It seemed to be a simple warning not to touch the wound.
“Do that.”
Julian knocked on the coachman's seat and directed him toward the villa. The carriage naturally headed toward the villa. I told Julian he didn't need to take me there, but he didn't listen.
A carriage arrived in front of the villa. Anna prepared a wheelchair, and Julian lifted me into his arms and placed me in it.
“How are you going to live without me?”
“I’ll be using crutches soon. You’ll be out of trouble for a few days, you know.”
“...Yes. If you want to do that.”
If that last sentence sounded abrupt, was it my imagination? Julian climbed into the carriage without even watching me enter the villa.
Instead, I simply watched the carriage until it disappeared. As it disappeared around the bend, Anna asked anxiously.
"Madam, why did you make this decision? I think His Highness is displeased."
“Anna, does this seem strange to you?”
Anna answered hesitantly.
“Yes, it’s a bit sudden.”
We should have been like this from the beginning. It was abnormal for us to be so close.
"I don't know what's right either. That's why I'm distancing myself from him so I can think about it."
"Oh, what would I know? I'm just following your wishes, Madam. It's cold, so come inside."
"Yes."
Anna pushed the wheelchair for me. The friendly manager now welcomed me without hesitation, even when I showed up unexpectedly. I smiled back at him and entered the villa.
'If I distance myself from Julian here, these absurd feelings will subside a little.'
With that kind of expectation.
But I stubbornly took my hat and lowered my veil. When I stepped outside again, Julian was standing there, still in the same position as before. Then, naturally, he tried to accept the wheelchair from Anna.
“It’s Anna’s job.”
Anna, along with everyone else present, looked at me with bewildered eyes at my stiff tone. Only Julian looked at me without any change in expression.
“Why are you doing something that will damage your reputation?”
“I don’t understand why caring for a sick wife is considered degrading.”
Then he walked towards me. I was confident I wouldn't budge no matter what he said, but he quickly lifted me out of the wheelchair.
“Wh, what!”
I cried out in embarrassment, but my arms naturally wrapped around his neck. It had become a habit, as I'd been hugged by him more than once.
“There are a lot of people!”
"Then. Are you going to walk into the carriage yourself, Madam? With those legs?"
"What carriage are you going in? I have to attend the closing ceremony of the hunting competition..."
I realized people were staring at me as I shouted, so I buried my head in his shoulder. That way, even if I couldn't block their gaze, I could still ignore them.
I could feel the back of his neck turning red like a carrot. I leaned in close, almost pressing my nose against his ear, and whispered.
“Let’s keep our distance.”
“I understand.”
“But why...”
Julian gestured to the attendant and pointed to the carriage. The attendant hurried over and opened the carriage door. Julian placed me on the carriage seat. His careful handling, as if he were handling a porcelain doll, made my heart pound.
Maybe it was because of Nife's scream last night... I kept thinking about Julian. Julian's face was dry, as if he knew my feelings or not.
“I won’t be watching the closing ceremony.”
“I’ll see! I have to meet Young Lady Eriant, too.”
“Don’t look. In such a dangerous place, it’s better to hurry and turn back.”
Julian didn't even pretend to listen to me. He'd never acted so recklessly before. I held the edge of the veil firmly with one hand, careful not to let him see my face.
Saying I'd distance myself from him, yet not wanting to show him my messy face, I was baffled by the ambivalence I held toward Julian.
The reason I initially suggested we distance ourselves was that I felt like I was taking what he gave me for granted. But now there's another reason.
'I shouldn't like Julian.'
It was absurd to say I'd use Julian and the Duke of Duchzan, that I'd betray him to protect my family, and yet still like him. For that reason alone, I decided to distance myself from him.
Julian put me down on the carriage and tried to sit down opposite me. I tried to stop him by holding out my palm.
Normally, I would have stopped him at that single action, but Julian gently grabbed my hand and climbed into the carriage. Anyone who saw me would have thought I was reaching out to help him.
I realized it was impossible to remain calm and composed. I finally stammered and confronted him.
“Da, da, da, why are you like this?”
“What’s the problem?”
“You agreed, didn’t you? Because I depend on you too much... I’m keeping my distance.”
“You didn’t say since when.”
I was so shocked that I was speechless. Julian called a servant, placed a small platform under the chair, and placed my legs on it.
Frankly, I was grateful for his consideration, as sitting with my leg down for so long while injured would have been a struggle. The problem was that if I continued like this, it would be no different from before.
“Is the sun still hot?”
“Yes. It’s very, very hot.”
I pulled my hat down low and spoke firmly. Julian didn't respond. Soon after, Nife jumped up next to me and hugged me tightly.
“Your Highness, I will miss you.”
At those words, my eyes widened.
“Are you going straight to Sasha’s estate?”
“You were so desperate to get me out right away, weren’t you?”
“What did I want to send out so badly...”
As I muttered in frustration, Nife lightly kissed my cheek. Startled, I quickly placed my hand on my cheek. What surprised me even more was Julian's attitude. He placed his arm between me and Nife and glared at her.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate behavior.”
“Why? Her Highness and I sleep in the same bed, hugging each other.”
“...What did you say?”
“I told you we slept together, hugging each other in the same bed, Your Highness!”
Nife smiled brightly and spoke clearly. What a sharp and bold girl she was. I was speechless. Julian looked at me as if he was expecting an explanation, which made me even more embarrassed.
“You put so much emphasis on prestige to me, but it seems you’re not strict with your friend.”
"You're doing it in front of everyone, but I'm not. Do you feel any less proud if you chat with your close friend all night?"
When I answered in bewilderment, Nife burst into laughter. I tilted my head, looking back and forth between Julian's fearful expression and Nife's bright smile.
“Am I right?”
“Why are you so cute, Your Highness the Grand Duchess?”
“If you keep doing that, you’ll get scolded by the maid again.”
Indeed, it wasn't long before Nife's maid came running in, panting, and dragged her out. Nife grumbled for a while as she alighted from the carriage. But, succumbing to the maid's urging, she lifted the hem of her skirt and bowed.
"It was an honor to meet you, Your Highness. It was a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness."
My nose tingled when I received Nife's greeting. Nife winked at me, then looked startled, as if she'd spotted someone next to her.
“I’ll really go. Write a letter!”
Without even listening to my response, Nife waved her hand and ran away. I thought I knew who Nife had seen. And soon, Ruin, with a troubled expression, appeared outside the carriage door.
“Your Highness, hello.”
For some reason, it felt like Ruin had grown a lot overnight.
“Nife sees you and runs away.”
“...There’s nothing I can do. That kid and I have different paths.”
Ruin feigned composure, but I could clearly see a shadow creeping over his cheek. I looked at him with bitter eyes. Ruin, perhaps not wanting me to look like that, forced a bright smile.
“I’m going straight back to Count Winsley’s residence.”
"You too?"
Ruin nodded without hesitation.
"I can't rest forever. Your Highness, I've been in your care. I sincerely thank you."
“Take care.”
“Yes, I hope Your Highness has a safe journey. Well then, I’ll leave now.”
Ruin left a brief greeting, even shorter than Nife's, and disappeared. It had been quite a bustle on the way there, but on the way back, Julian and I were the only ones left. As the carriage pulled away, I felt a profound sense of emptiness. I hid behind a veil, a lonely expression on my face.
“You don’t have to be so lonely.”
I looked up. How did he know?
"You really are so attached to everyone. Even Younh Lady Sasha seemed uncomfortable at first, but now she seems to miss you."
“Not really.”
I gave a curt reply. After that, there was no conversation between us. Except for the occasional stop by Julian to check my wounds, not a single sound was heard.
Julian had his arms crossed and his eyes closed. It was unclear whether he was truly asleep or just closed.
When the carriage reached Duchzan Territory, I opened my mouth to Julian, who still had his eyes closed.
“I have a favor to ask.”
At my words, Julian opened his eyes, which had been closed the whole time. It was as slow as a snake revealing itself.
"What?"
“I’d like to stay at your villa for a while.”
“Is this an extension of the idea of keeping distance?”
"Yes, that's right."
I fiddled with my bandage for no reason.
"I'm also going to do some renovations on the villa. I told you I wanted to do that before. I've been going back and forth, but I haven't made any progress."
Julian took my hand away from the bandage. He didn't hold it for long. It seemed to be a simple warning not to touch the wound.
“Do that.”
Julian knocked on the coachman's seat and directed him toward the villa. The carriage naturally headed toward the villa. I told Julian he didn't need to take me there, but he didn't listen.
A carriage arrived in front of the villa. Anna prepared a wheelchair, and Julian lifted me into his arms and placed me in it.
“How are you going to live without me?”
“I’ll be using crutches soon. You’ll be out of trouble for a few days, you know.”
“...Yes. If you want to do that.”
If that last sentence sounded abrupt, was it my imagination? Julian climbed into the carriage without even watching me enter the villa.
Instead, I simply watched the carriage until it disappeared. As it disappeared around the bend, Anna asked anxiously.
"Madam, why did you make this decision? I think His Highness is displeased."
“Anna, does this seem strange to you?”
Anna answered hesitantly.
“Yes, it’s a bit sudden.”
We should have been like this from the beginning. It was abnormal for us to be so close.
"I don't know what's right either. That's why I'm distancing myself from him so I can think about it."
"Oh, what would I know? I'm just following your wishes, Madam. It's cold, so come inside."
"Yes."
Anna pushed the wheelchair for me. The friendly manager now welcomed me without hesitation, even when I showed up unexpectedly. I smiled back at him and entered the villa.
'If I distance myself from Julian here, these absurd feelings will subside a little.'
With that kind of expectation.
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