We looked at each other for a long time.
I was in his golden eyes.
Surprisingly, the person I was looking at and the expression on my face reflected in his eyes were very similar.
Is he looking at me and himself at the same time?
I never looked in the mirror and thought I was beautiful.
All that was noticeable were my flaws: my thin body, swollen lips, and pale skin.
But in Callius's eyes, my appearance was more beautiful than ever.
I looked cute and pretty even though I wasn't wearing a fancy dress, didn't have any makeup on, and my hair was a mess.
'It might be my imagination.'
My heart has been pounding like it's going to burst for a while now.
Perhaps that's why the blood circulated quickly, heating up my entire body from fingertips to toes.
The side of my face, close to the fire, felt hot.
As the silence grew longer, I was wondering what to say, and the word "hot" slipped out of my mouth without me realizing it.
“Oh, it’s very hot in Lhasa.”
I was startled when he brought it up.
"Is it okay to say something like this now? Was it rude?"
I tried to remember if I had ever learned the appropriate thing to say in such a situation, watching Callius's expression.
I remember memorizing appropriate expressions for all kinds of situations from etiquette books when I was young, but no matter how much I tried to recall them, I never learned what to say in these situations.
My face felt hotter and hotter, so I tried fanning myself with my hand, but it didn't help.
Callius laughed as he watched me at a loss.
His eyes sparkled so beautifully that I lost my mind for a moment.
“I guess I’ll be out for a long time since Lhasa isn’t coming.”
Come to think of it, I completely forgot that I came here to ask Lhasa something.
"Shouldn't we go find Lhasa? It's getting pretty late. I'm worried."
“Let’s talk to the chief. If Lhasa had planned to do something, he would have told the chief in advance.”
He stood up and extended his hand to me.
“I’ll have a chance to see Lhasa before we leave, so shall we go to bed now?”
I took his hand and raised myself up.
I thought my body was hot, but his hand was even hotter. It was so warm that I could feel it through the thick leather.
Callius didn't let go of my hand even after I woke up.
We walked back to the chief's ker, holding hands tightly.
The snowstorm had already died down, and the surroundings were quiet.
Callius pointed to the sky.
“Do you like stars?”
“A star? Ah...!”
I looked up and exclaimed.
The clear night sky was densely decorated with countless stars that seemed ready to pour down.
“It’s awesome!”
Callius laughed out loud as he watched me shout excitedly.
I craned my neck as far as I could and tried to take in the entire sky from one end to the other.
Then I lost my balance and fell over.
"Oh...!"
Ppok!
The body was buried in thick snow.
I was surprised, but it didn't hurt.
It was because the piled-up snow was soft like a bed.
Callius, who was holding my hand but didn't catch me as I fell, laughed playfully.
“Are you okay?”
You asked if I was okay after deliberately letting me fall.
But I didn't resent him.
Because it felt pretty good to lie down on the snow that had piled up enough to sink my body into.
I lay comfortably, looking up at the night sky.
“There are so, so many stars. It’s like being covered in a blanket of stars.”
He muttered dreamily.
“Ronheim is a really nice place.”
A look of satisfaction spread across Callius' face as he knelt down next to me.
He couldn't hide his delight whenever I spoke well of Ronheim.
“You said you lack the qualities of a leader, but I think you would be a good enough King.”
"... Yes?"
He showed a rare look of bewilderment.
"You love your kingdom beyond measure. I can sense that from Callius."
“Is that so?”
“Ronheim has a good King. Unlike Arrental.”
In this good mood, I tried not to think about my father unnecessarily.
Callius said cautiously.
“You use the word King.”
“I don’t think there’s a more accurate expression than that.”
I sat up and looked at him.
“I hope you find your country again. Sincerely.”
All I could think about was getting revenge and getting my grudge resolved.
But now, at this moment, the goal has changed a little.
Beyond my original goal, I felt like I wanted to take revenge and give back what he had lost to this person.
I wanted to see him sit on the throne of Ronheim as a King, not as a governor.
I thought of it purely for Callius' sake, but if it happened, it would be a very satisfying revenge on Andrea, so it was killing two birds with one stone.
'Andrea's face is worth seeing.'
Just imagining it made my heart race.
'Can I do something so great?'
I was worried, but seeing Callius' face gave me courage.
'Can't I do it if I'm not alone but with that person?'
I clenched my fist.
'I'll give it my all and give it my all.'
Didn't Lhasa also advise me to give it my all?
'I can do it. I think I can do it!'
Unable to contain the sudden surge of uncontrollable emotion, I grabbed Callius's hands and made a promise.
“I will help you.”
His gaze wavered slightly.
“I will help you find your country.”
It was a promise and at the same time my determination.
***
When we returned to the chief's ker, everyone was still asleep.
When I opened and closed the door, cold air came in and woke up one of the knights sleeping near the entrance, but he quickly fell back asleep when he saw me with Callius.
The firewood in the central brazier that had been illuminating the ker had all burned out, leaving the ker extremely dark without a single ray of light.
Callius led me as I wandered around, not knowing where to step.
If it weren't for him, I would have had to sleep sitting at the entrance.
Callius took me to my seat, then went to the chieftain's place and whispered about Lhasa.
I finally lay down, but I couldn't fall asleep easily.
The long conversation I had with Callius and the promise I had made to him floated through my mind, and I woke up with a start.
'I can't sleep.'
My heart was pounding so hard that I couldn't stay still and kept fidgeting.
I was already suffering from insomnia after my regression.
'I don't think I'll be able to sleep any longer today.'
As I was thinking about that, Callius, who had finished talking with the chieftain, came back and lay down next to me.
"I decided to return to Lhasa after dawn. There's a communal sacrificial hut used by nomads not far away, so don't worry, I've already gone there."
"Yes."
After that, Callius seemed to sleep quietly.
I was constantly fidgeting next to him.
But then, Callius, who I thought was sleeping, suddenly patted my shoulder.
'...?'
His touch was clumsy but affectionate.
It wasn't just Callius who was clumsy. I, too, was awkward at receiving pats, so I froze under his touch.
Even though my whole focus was on my shoulders and my posture felt uncomfortable, I couldn't move.
I stayed still as if I were dead, as if the patting hands would stop if I moved my body even a little.
I hoped that this kind of warm handwork would continue forever.
I held my breath, listening to Callius's regular breathing.
'This person seems like a good person.'
I don't really trust my judgment of people, but I couldn't help but think that way.
'I think this person is good.'
I was worried about what Karl would think when he heard this.
'He'll definitely tell me to come to my senses. He'll tell me not to trust anyone so readily.'
I thought about the nagging Karl and decided.
'Let's keep it a secret.'
I'd never kept a secret from Karl before, but since my regression, I've already had a second secret. The first, of course, was the fact that I'd returned.
I felt Callius's touch quietly.
Each and every gesture of his seemed to fill me up, little by little.
I closed my eyes, thinking that I would never be able to fall asleep that night.
But when I opened my eyes again, it was already dawn, and I was faced with an unexpected humiliation.
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