“Hey! You took my book again?”
“The first person to get it gets to see it, what’s ‘my book’? And why are you greedy for a book you won’t even read?”
“This, s**t...”
“‘This, s**t’? Oh my, Lady Loire speaks so harshly.”
“Ha! Am I speaking harshly? Me? You should stop speaking!”
Misha Loire. My half-sister.
She snatched the book off my desk and ran out. Every time she walked, her red, luscious hair, just like her mother’s, swayed.
It’s been seven years since I’ve lived in this mansion, and dealing with Misha no longer tickles me.
I shook my head and stretched. My eyes were drowsy because I studied until dawn yesterday.
I lay down on the desk for a moment, and the maid Teria brought me some lemon tea. Her lemon tea was so sour that it made me feel tired and woke me up at the same time.
Today, I was going to just memorize this and read the book Misha had just brought, but my plan was ruined.
But even so, it would only last half a day. Misha wouldn’t be able to read more than a paragraph of the sacred debate between the two greatest scholars of the Empire.
Not even the debate about the appropriate thickness of ruffles on a banquet dress.
The book would just show the teacher the cover and be placed on a pile of books on one side of the desk, and when Misha went to get a massage later, I could send Teria to get it.
She would never notice that the book was missing, so it was okay.
Misha was also preparing to enter the Academy. With five high-class tutors and a famous masseuse assigned by the Countess.
Misha was getting facial massages every day at the same time, saying that her skin was damaged from studying.
For Misha, the Imperial Academy was a social gathering place to find a good husband. So even if I entered, it was meaningless if I couldn’t look good to men.
Of course, I wasn’t assigned a masseuse. The Count had to engage in another terrible tug-of-war with the Countess to get Miss Julia back.
The Countess was annoyed by the fact that I was thinking of taking the academy entrance exam.
My existence as the Count’s illegitimate child was already public knowledge. However, it was not good to have a legitimate daughter and an illegitimate child of the same age entering the academy together. Above all, I was better at studying.
How heartbreaking it would be if Misha failed the academy exam that even illegitimate children could pass. Assuming that she could understand the pain.
Looking back, it was a miracle. A sweary girl who used to pick herbs in Tunbar Mountain was now preparing for the academy entrance exam.
The Countess’s attitude toward me had never changed at all. Since I was suddenly taken to the Count’s residence, I had always been exposed to danger.
When the Count returned from his business trip and learned that I had been taken to the Count’s residence by his wife, he immediately took me out to inspect the estate.
The people immediately recognized the girl sitting next to the Count in the carriage.
The rumor that the Count of Loire, who was usually praised for his chastity, had brought home an illegitimate child spread like wildfire, and so the Countess could no longer deal with me by killing or expelling me.
Thanks to this, I was able to remain somewhat safe while the Count was out on business again.
Things were not going well from the beginning.
In the meantime, the Countess had brought in a tutor to 'educate' me. However, it was clear that he had come not to educate me but to torment me.
His torment was quite new, in that he constantly humiliated me.
For example, when I got an addition wrong, he would bring up my childhood and sigh in shame.
'What did Miss Lorisha learn when she was eight that she is now getting this wrong? What did you say? Herbs? Haa... What did your mother do then? ...That's right. This is something a normal noble girl would learn at the age of eight... Haa...'
Or he would mention the Count at the end of every sentence.
'Are you going to smear the Count's face? If you can't even memorize this, what will become of the Count's reputation in the palace...'
Later, just looking at him seemed to be a cry of 'You miserable, pathetic bastard!'
At first, I tried to endure it. I thought that the Countess's sending a tutor was permission to tolerate my existence.
But when I looked closely, I saw that she was just finding a way to secretly torment me.
One day, when he did the same thing, I stared at him and said,
'Miss Julia told me I was good at studying. Isn't it your fault that I'm not good at studying? Have you ever thought about that?'
Then his eyes widened. I realized for the first time that his sullen eyes could be so big.
'Have you ever wondered if you're the one smearing the Count's face?'
His face turned red and he left.
Then, he started corporal punishment in the next class. He gave me a difficult problem that I couldn’t solve and hit my palm for the number of times I got it wrong. I had a gut feeling that it wouldn’t help to explain this. If I showed him the wrong test paper and said that he got it wrong, I would only be a liar.
I was furious at his clever and secret evil deeds, so I decided to pay him back.
The reason I got good at swearing and fighting was because of the kids who swore at me and hit me. There was no reason why I couldn’t learn from bullying.
A few days later, I found out that my tutor wasn’t as cunning as I thought. I caught him flirting with a young maid in the backyard after class.
When the next class was over, I asked the Count to take a walk. In the backyard.
As soon as the Count saw them from afar, he covered my eyes with his palm, made me stand with my back to him, and stared into my eyes.
Then he shook his head and took my hand and went back the way he had come. The Count seemed to understand my intention.
My intention was to 'get rid of that person.'
After that, there was no more tutor. Teria took care of me, and I spent my time reading the books the Count brought me. I was happy as if I was finally enjoying complete freedom.
My happiness was always fleeting.
The next person the Countess sent me after the tutor was her daughter. Misha Loire, that girl... I found her difficult to touch.
Because Misha Loire was not only the Count's daughter, but also the legitimate daughter of the Loire family, whom I, an illegitimate child, could not touch. When the Countess realized that I was aware of this, she began to harass me through Misha. At first, verbally, and later physically.
“The first person to get it gets to see it, what’s ‘my book’? And why are you greedy for a book you won’t even read?”
“This, s**t...”
“‘This, s**t’? Oh my, Lady Loire speaks so harshly.”
“Ha! Am I speaking harshly? Me? You should stop speaking!”
Misha Loire. My half-sister.
She snatched the book off my desk and ran out. Every time she walked, her red, luscious hair, just like her mother’s, swayed.
It’s been seven years since I’ve lived in this mansion, and dealing with Misha no longer tickles me.
I shook my head and stretched. My eyes were drowsy because I studied until dawn yesterday.
I lay down on the desk for a moment, and the maid Teria brought me some lemon tea. Her lemon tea was so sour that it made me feel tired and woke me up at the same time.
Today, I was going to just memorize this and read the book Misha had just brought, but my plan was ruined.
But even so, it would only last half a day. Misha wouldn’t be able to read more than a paragraph of the sacred debate between the two greatest scholars of the Empire.
Not even the debate about the appropriate thickness of ruffles on a banquet dress.
The book would just show the teacher the cover and be placed on a pile of books on one side of the desk, and when Misha went to get a massage later, I could send Teria to get it.
She would never notice that the book was missing, so it was okay.
Misha was also preparing to enter the Academy. With five high-class tutors and a famous masseuse assigned by the Countess.
Misha was getting facial massages every day at the same time, saying that her skin was damaged from studying.
For Misha, the Imperial Academy was a social gathering place to find a good husband. So even if I entered, it was meaningless if I couldn’t look good to men.
Of course, I wasn’t assigned a masseuse. The Count had to engage in another terrible tug-of-war with the Countess to get Miss Julia back.
The Countess was annoyed by the fact that I was thinking of taking the academy entrance exam.
My existence as the Count’s illegitimate child was already public knowledge. However, it was not good to have a legitimate daughter and an illegitimate child of the same age entering the academy together. Above all, I was better at studying.
How heartbreaking it would be if Misha failed the academy exam that even illegitimate children could pass. Assuming that she could understand the pain.
Looking back, it was a miracle. A sweary girl who used to pick herbs in Tunbar Mountain was now preparing for the academy entrance exam.
The Countess’s attitude toward me had never changed at all. Since I was suddenly taken to the Count’s residence, I had always been exposed to danger.
When the Count returned from his business trip and learned that I had been taken to the Count’s residence by his wife, he immediately took me out to inspect the estate.
The people immediately recognized the girl sitting next to the Count in the carriage.
The rumor that the Count of Loire, who was usually praised for his chastity, had brought home an illegitimate child spread like wildfire, and so the Countess could no longer deal with me by killing or expelling me.
Thanks to this, I was able to remain somewhat safe while the Count was out on business again.
Things were not going well from the beginning.
In the meantime, the Countess had brought in a tutor to 'educate' me. However, it was clear that he had come not to educate me but to torment me.
His torment was quite new, in that he constantly humiliated me.
For example, when I got an addition wrong, he would bring up my childhood and sigh in shame.
'What did Miss Lorisha learn when she was eight that she is now getting this wrong? What did you say? Herbs? Haa... What did your mother do then? ...That's right. This is something a normal noble girl would learn at the age of eight... Haa...'
Or he would mention the Count at the end of every sentence.
'Are you going to smear the Count's face? If you can't even memorize this, what will become of the Count's reputation in the palace...'
Later, just looking at him seemed to be a cry of 'You miserable, pathetic bastard!'
At first, I tried to endure it. I thought that the Countess's sending a tutor was permission to tolerate my existence.
But when I looked closely, I saw that she was just finding a way to secretly torment me.
One day, when he did the same thing, I stared at him and said,
'Miss Julia told me I was good at studying. Isn't it your fault that I'm not good at studying? Have you ever thought about that?'
Then his eyes widened. I realized for the first time that his sullen eyes could be so big.
'Have you ever wondered if you're the one smearing the Count's face?'
His face turned red and he left.
Then, he started corporal punishment in the next class. He gave me a difficult problem that I couldn’t solve and hit my palm for the number of times I got it wrong. I had a gut feeling that it wouldn’t help to explain this. If I showed him the wrong test paper and said that he got it wrong, I would only be a liar.
I was furious at his clever and secret evil deeds, so I decided to pay him back.
The reason I got good at swearing and fighting was because of the kids who swore at me and hit me. There was no reason why I couldn’t learn from bullying.
A few days later, I found out that my tutor wasn’t as cunning as I thought. I caught him flirting with a young maid in the backyard after class.
When the next class was over, I asked the Count to take a walk. In the backyard.
As soon as the Count saw them from afar, he covered my eyes with his palm, made me stand with my back to him, and stared into my eyes.
Then he shook his head and took my hand and went back the way he had come. The Count seemed to understand my intention.
My intention was to 'get rid of that person.'
After that, there was no more tutor. Teria took care of me, and I spent my time reading the books the Count brought me. I was happy as if I was finally enjoying complete freedom.
My happiness was always fleeting.
The next person the Countess sent me after the tutor was her daughter. Misha Loire, that girl... I found her difficult to touch.
Because Misha Loire was not only the Count's daughter, but also the legitimate daughter of the Loire family, whom I, an illegitimate child, could not touch. When the Countess realized that I was aware of this, she began to harass me through Misha. At first, verbally, and later physically.
For a while, I was defeated every time, but I soon found a way.
In short, Misha Loire was a greenhouse plant. In terms of intelligence, she was also close to a plant.
How burdensome it must have been for such a child to take the entrance exam for the academy, which was for the best talents in the empire.
But for me, it was finally an opportunity. Not a miracle like my father, but a miraculous opportunity that I could earn through my own efforts.
The academy had a dormitory. If I entered there, I would leave this house and escape the protection and influence of the Count.
I was truly grateful for what the Count had given me, but I never felt that this mansion was my home.
The Countess’s abuse and Misha’s bullying sometimes made me feel tired and exhausted, but I could understand their position.
I was an intruder in this household.
However, if I graduated from the academy, I could become a welcome tutor in a noble family. Then, like Miss Julia, I could live on my own without getting married.
I was really doing my best. Even without five tutors, I studied with Miss Julia as if I was fighting a war.
Although she didn’t say anything, the Countess was very anxious that I would pass and beat Misha.
It was common for my notebooks to turn to ashes in the fireplace or for books to disappear. So I decided to just memorize everything I studied that day.
When the Count wanted to bring in Miss Julia, the Countess was concerned about too many outsiders coming and going to the mansion, so she limited my class time to two hours a day.
So I studied in advance the night before to make the most of those two hours. And when the teacher came, I would ask the questions I had prepared.
During class, I would organize the teacher’s answers and comments, and if I had any questions, I would look through the book to solve them, and I would spend the afternoon memorizing what I had studied. I also started studying in advance at night.
Fortunately, the Count had a very good library, so he allowed his daughters to borrow books as they pleased.
I heard that Misha’s tutors specialized in preparing for the Academy. There was also a rumor that they knew the exam questions in advance. That’s why they were so expensive.
But I didn’t believe that. If they knew the exam questions, they could have just killed some time and had Misha memorize them.
But after class, they would come running out into the hallway with embarrassed faces. That meant that if Misha didn’t study, their careers could be tarnished.
Mocking Misha in my mind at such a sight was something I would do during my free time.
I can now speak Imperial and Agaelic at an advanced level. My Smilean skills from across the sea are not bad either.
The various high-level slang words I used as a child are still dormant inside me, but in my daily life, I spoke the refined standard Imperial language as if I were speaking a foreign language.
Living with nobles, I didn’t have many opportunities to use rough and vulgar language, but the nobles’ verbal arguments were highly sophisticated and sharp. It was a fight of malice rather than momentum.
Although I would sometimes become absent-minded and lose myself in thought, I now know that it is much better to spend time on myself than to reminisce about the past and hate someone.
I'll enter the Imperial Academy. Then everything will be solved. I'll save myself, and honor the Count.
In short, Misha Loire was a greenhouse plant. In terms of intelligence, she was also close to a plant.
How burdensome it must have been for such a child to take the entrance exam for the academy, which was for the best talents in the empire.
But for me, it was finally an opportunity. Not a miracle like my father, but a miraculous opportunity that I could earn through my own efforts.
The academy had a dormitory. If I entered there, I would leave this house and escape the protection and influence of the Count.
I was truly grateful for what the Count had given me, but I never felt that this mansion was my home.
The Countess’s abuse and Misha’s bullying sometimes made me feel tired and exhausted, but I could understand their position.
I was an intruder in this household.
However, if I graduated from the academy, I could become a welcome tutor in a noble family. Then, like Miss Julia, I could live on my own without getting married.
I was really doing my best. Even without five tutors, I studied with Miss Julia as if I was fighting a war.
Although she didn’t say anything, the Countess was very anxious that I would pass and beat Misha.
It was common for my notebooks to turn to ashes in the fireplace or for books to disappear. So I decided to just memorize everything I studied that day.
When the Count wanted to bring in Miss Julia, the Countess was concerned about too many outsiders coming and going to the mansion, so she limited my class time to two hours a day.
So I studied in advance the night before to make the most of those two hours. And when the teacher came, I would ask the questions I had prepared.
During class, I would organize the teacher’s answers and comments, and if I had any questions, I would look through the book to solve them, and I would spend the afternoon memorizing what I had studied. I also started studying in advance at night.
Fortunately, the Count had a very good library, so he allowed his daughters to borrow books as they pleased.
I heard that Misha’s tutors specialized in preparing for the Academy. There was also a rumor that they knew the exam questions in advance. That’s why they were so expensive.
But I didn’t believe that. If they knew the exam questions, they could have just killed some time and had Misha memorize them.
But after class, they would come running out into the hallway with embarrassed faces. That meant that if Misha didn’t study, their careers could be tarnished.
Mocking Misha in my mind at such a sight was something I would do during my free time.
I can now speak Imperial and Agaelic at an advanced level. My Smilean skills from across the sea are not bad either.
The various high-level slang words I used as a child are still dormant inside me, but in my daily life, I spoke the refined standard Imperial language as if I were speaking a foreign language.
Living with nobles, I didn’t have many opportunities to use rough and vulgar language, but the nobles’ verbal arguments were highly sophisticated and sharp. It was a fight of malice rather than momentum.
Although I would sometimes become absent-minded and lose myself in thought, I now know that it is much better to spend time on myself than to reminisce about the past and hate someone.
I'll enter the Imperial Academy. Then everything will be solved. I'll save myself, and honor the Count.
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