Forgotten Fields - Chapter 255

Thalia held her breath. Even though she herself had believed it all along, an indescribable emotion welled up inside her when the words actually came from another person's mouth.

The woman carefully wiped away the tears from her cheek and continued speaking cautiously.

"Do you remember the story I told you a long time ago?"

"...Does it mean that a child who dies without being baptized is reborn as an animal?"

A faint smile spread across Tiuran's lips.

"Actually, whether or not one was baptized doesn't matter. That story is a tradition that has been passed down in the East since long before the Imperial Church was introduced."

Her gaze settled on the wolf, who was looking up at her with his ears pricked up.

"The ancient Eastern people believed that those who met a tragic death were reborn as beasts to meet the people they loved during their lifetime. Perhaps Khan, too, was reborn by borrowing the body of a beast out of his longing for Your Highness."

"...Do you really think so?"

Tiuran slowly nodded.

"I believe that every encounter in this world has a reason. There must surely be a reason why Khan came to Your Highness's side when you were suffering from a sense of loss."

Thalia looked down at Khan with eyes filled with tears. As if he did not resent her for hurting him, the wolf was sending her a look of unwavering affection.

Feeling something bottled up inside her heart slowly melt away under that blind gaze, she held the wolf in her arms.

As she buried her wet cheeks in the warm, soft fur, the sobs she had been holding back poured out all at once. The healer, who had been quietly watching the scene, gently patted her back.

From then on, Thalia began to follow Tiuran around like a chick chasing its mother hen.

She always took her along whenever she took Khan for a walk, and she would spend the entire afternoon chatting and cooking with Tiuran in the kitchen. Sometimes, she would even follow her to her cottage to watch her prepare reagents or help trim herbs.

Although there were quite a few disapproving glances at the Grand Duchess of the East engrossed in menial tasks typically performed by maids, she paid no heed. The joy of meeting someone who understood her was greater than anything else, so the whispers of the world were of no concern to her

"Why don't you move to the main castle? I'll arrange a particularly spacious room for you."

Thalia blurted out, having been lounging on Tiuran's bed with Khan.

Tiuran, who was sitting at her desk scribbling something in her journal, gave her a troubled look.

"I feel comfortable here."

"Why? If you stay at the main castle, you can live much more comfortably than you do now. If you need anything, I'll provide it all."

"You really don't need to."

Tiuran smiled softly and closed the book

"This cabin holds memories of my late grandmother. I have lived here since I was very young, so unless there is a special reason, I do not want to leave."

Thalia, who had been staring intently at her face with curious eyes, suddenly asked a question.

“What about your parents?”

"Both of them passed away from illness when I was very young."

The woman, having replied calmly, slowly rose to her feet and walked to the shelf. Then, she took out various herbs and began the process of mixing them.

Thalia, who had been staring blankly at the scene, asked the question she had been curious about all along.

“What about your husband?”

The woman's hand, which had been putting herbs into a mortar and pestle and grinding them finely, paused for a moment.

She turned to look at her with a bitter smile.

"I have never been married."

When Thalia, who had vaguely sensed that she had also experienced losing a child like herself, showed signs of panic, Tiuran continued speaking as if nothing were wrong.

"There was someone I had promised to marry, though."

"Did that person break their promise?"

Thalia frowned and pressed her sharply. Seeing her menacing expression, Tiuran let out a small laugh.

"That's right. He abandoned the child and me in my womb and went far away."

"Tell me that bastard's name. I'll send soldiers to execute him."

Thalia stomped and spat out roughly.

"If you want, I can drag him before you and make him kneel and beg for forgiveness. Since he owes you a debt, I will handle this specially for you exactly as you wish."

Tiuran stared at her with an indescribable gaze.

"Don't you despise the fact that I gave birth to a child without being married?"

"Have you forgotten that I was born an illegitimate child?"

Thalia snorted in disbelief.

"Criticizing you for something like that is like spitting in my own face."

"...Your Highness, you are by no means of a status to be pointed at. Your father is His Imperial Majesty the Emperor, and your mother is the Empress."

"Even so, a bastard is a bastard."

A sneer-like smile played on Thalia's lips.

"To my father, I am proof of infidelity that will follow me like a label for the rest of my life, and to my mother, I am nothing more than a pawn that has served its purpose; the servants are the same. Everyone bows their heads before me, calling me the Grand Duchess or the Princess, but behind my back, they point fingers at me, calling me the seed of an affair."

Seeing Tiuran’s face darken, Thalia wiped the smile from her lips.

A moment of awkwardness washed over her, as if she had impulsively revealed too many of her flaws. She changed the subject with an exaggerated attitude, as if to hide it.

"Just tell me who the man is that betrayed you. Hang him upside down on the gallows..."

"That person died a long time ago, too."

Thalia fell silent at the calm answer.

Tiuran added, gently curving the corners of her mouth as if nothing were wrong.

"You don't have to make that face. It happened a long time ago."

Thalia stared at her as if looking at something mysterious.

She couldn't believe that Tiuran could smile like that even after losing her parents, the man she loved, and even her child.

When she lost her child, she felt despair as if the whole world were collapsing. Even now, there are times when she feels suffocated, missing the fetal movements that used to stir inside her womb. Yet, how is this woman able to live on with her sanity intact after going through all of that?

"After a while... it doesn't bother you at all, does it?"

The healer's smile faded slightly at the hesitant question. She put down the mortar and slowly shook her head.

"There is pain in the world that never disappears, no matter how much time passes."

"..."

"One thing I can tell you for sure is that even the piercing pain wears away very, very little by little every year... until, at some point, when you come to your senses, it has shrunk to a bearable size."

As she blinked blankly, Thalia asked in a hushed voice.

"How long did it take to get to that point?"

“A very long time.”

"...I see."

Thalia muttered blankly.

“It’s taking a long time.”

At that moment, she felt a warm sensation on her cheek.

Thalia turned her head. Khan was wiping tears from her face. She gazed quietly into his blue eyes, which seemed to resonate with her sorrow, then lowered her head and kissed his soft, downy forehead.

That day, Thalia returned to her bedroom and opened her diary. She had started writing, unable to resist Tiuran's suggestion that honestly writing down her inner thoughts would help alleviate her hallucinations. However, contrary to Tiuran's intentions, it turned out to be closer to a record of Khan's growth.

She casually skimmed through the writings she had penned so far, then wrote down the conversation she had with Tiuran on a blank page. She did not stop at merely mechanically describing the events of that day, but also added a few lines expressing the emotions she felt.

Will doing this really cure the mental illness?

She looked down at the diary with a suspicious gaze, then picked Khan up and laid him down on the bed.

Whether it was a mere coincidence or if the knot inside her had truly been loosened even a little, that day she was able to sleep deeply without having nightmares or hallucinations.

Thalia, having slept soundly for the first time in a while, got up feeling light.

Khan, who had been curled up next to the pillow, also suddenly stood up and wagged his tail.

She stroked Khan's head and walked behind the partition to wash herself. Just then, a faint trumpet sound was heard from a distance.

Thalia flinched and looked out the window. The sight of dozens of strong men mounted on warhorses entering the city in a line came into view.

Thalia stiffened her body after confirming the face of the man standing at the front.

Barcas has returned.

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