Feeling her heart pound, she clutched the window frame fiercely.
Barcas, having slowly ridden his horse into the training grounds, dismounted lightly from the saddle. His face, which appeared as cold as frost even in the intense sunlight of late summer, slowly rose up.
She instinctively hid behind the curtain. As the blood in her body boiled hot, a strange sensation, as if her spine were freezing, overwhelmed her.
Leaning against the wall to catch her breath, she could not resist the urge to look at him and leaned her head out the window again. Before she knew it, Barcas was already crossing about halfway across the parade ground.
As he passed through the inner gate and entered the garden, a face whose contours had become even more distinct over the past few months came into clear view.
Forgetting to breathe, she watched him conversing with the retainers who had come out to greet him. His delicate yet deep eyes were revealed through his hair, which had grown slightly longer since he left the castle.
She wondered how long she had been staring intently at those eyes that looked almost silver in the sunlight when she heard a knock on the door from outside.
“Your Highness, His Excellency the Grand Duke has returned. Would you like to go out to greet him?”
It was the voice of the head maid.
Thalia hunched her shoulders as if she had been caught off guard.
When she didn't answer, the sound of knocking on the door rang out again.
"Your Highness, are you alright? May I come inside for a moment..."
“Don’t come in!”
Thalia let out a loud scream.
"I'm not feeling well, so I need to rest in my room. Please tell His Excellency the Grand Duke that as well!"
The head maid, who had been silent for a moment, let out a low sigh and spoke.
"Understood. I will take my leave then."
Soon, the sound of the head maid's footsteps faded away.
Thalia let out a long sigh of relief, then noticed Khan looking up at her blankly and let out an awkward smile. Although there was no way Khan could understand her situation, a strange sense of shame washed over her at having shown such fidgeting.
She pretended as if nothing was wrong, picked up Khan, and approached the window.
"Your dad is back. Can you see him over there?"
Thalia, leaning against the windowsill, pointed at Barcas with her fingertips.
"That's the one."
The wolf turned his head, following the tip of her finger, and gazed down at Barcas. She naturally softened his lips, pleased that Khan, who had been indifferent to everything except her, was showing interest in Barcas.
Thalia kissed the wolf's ear that was standing on end and whispered in a voice tinged with laughter.
"Isn't he super cool? He looks even better up close."
The wolf, having twitched its ears, suddenly lifted its head and stared intently at her. A wry smile escaped her lips at the sight of it looking as if it were begging her to go outside right away.
"But I can't get close right now."
The wolf's ears pricked up even more. As he quietly looked into her large eyes, which seemed to be asking the reason, Thalia muttered bitterly.
"I treated him really badly before he left. He probably... won't want to see me."
***
Thalia stayed cooped up in her room and didn't move an inch, using the excuse that she wasn't feeling well.
He looked at her with a complex expression as she remained motionless, her gaze fixed on the bookshelf for several hours.
She looked extremely anxious and nervous. Seeing her like that made him feel suffocated, as if a weight were being pressed down on his chest.
During this period, Barcas kept his distance, firmly believing that his wife did not want to see him. He was worried that if he approached her rashly, he might disturb her as she was gradually regaining her composure.
However, Thalia regarded his attitude as proof of disillusionment.
What if he had approached her first?
The thought that many things might have been different if he had tried just a little harder to understand this ridiculously timid and dishonest woman would not leave his mind.
He gazed at her with pained eyes and soon began to pace around the room. Depending on his actions, he might be able to change the relationship between 'himself' and her. However, he could not tell if he truly desired that.
Do I really want Thalia to be with 'him'?
He stopped in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection. As he faced the beastly face he could never quite get used to, a strange pain surged through him.
“Are you that frustrated?”
Seeing his drooping ears, Thalia closed the book and sat up in bed.
"Then, do you want to go get some fresh air? Barcas is probably at a meeting by now anyway, so we won't run into each other."
Thalia, wearing a summer robe draped over her shoulders, carefully lifted him and left the bedroom.
The hallway was quieter than usual, perhaps because preparations for the dinner banquet were in full swing to welcome the head of the household's return.
She gestured the maids following her away with her chin, went down the stairs, and headed toward the secluded backyard.
"Now, run around and play to your heart's content."
Thalia, sitting on the bench, lowered him to the floor and said.
He pretended not to understand and jumped onto the chair, pressing his body tightly against her side. He did not want to be separated from Thalia for even a moment.
Someday he will have to give her to 'him', but for now, she is his only Thalia.
“Do you like me that much?”
She giggled and wrapped her white, soft arms tightly around him.
As he snuggled into her embrace, feeling an intoxicating scent that felt like it would melt his brain fill his lungs, a long shadow stretched out at the edge of his vision.
He slightly tilted his head and looked at the man standing at the end of the path.
Facing himself through the eyes of a third party was a very strange experience. Feeling the fine hairs beneath his skin stand on end, he stared blankly at the face that was both familiar and unfamiliar.
His past self was horrifyingly devoid of humanity.
Cold eyes that seemed to defy even the heat of late summer, expressionless lips that looked as if they had never smiled, and hollow, inorganic pupils...
He simply could not understand where in that cold-blooded man, devoid of even a trace of emotion, could she find anything admirable. The man looked like a black-and-white ghost intruding into a colorful landscape painting.
"What's the matter?"
Noticing that he was nervous, she lifted him onto her shoulder.
He hesitated for a moment. If he distracted her just a little, he could lead Thalia to spot that man.
But will that really help change her fate?
Even if a miracle happens and their relationship improves, that man will eventually leave for the North. And she will be left alone in this castle once again. She might even suffer a deeper wound than she has now.
In the end, he decided not to do anything.
As he licked her chin as if nothing had happened, a cheerful laugh escaped her lips. He looked up at the sight with satisfied eyes, then glanced at the man.
The man, who had been standing frozen like a stone statue, finally turned around. His hair, shattering silver in the sunlight, was tossed about by the breeze. The man's shadow stretched out thick and damp, looking pale as if he had lost his color.
As night deepened, the castle, which had been noisy with the banquet, fell dead silent.
He carefully watched her as she slept soundly after taking strong sleeping pills, then cautiously got out of bed and approached the door.
As he straightened up, his foot touched the doorknob. Thanks to having grown quite a bit in the little over two months, he was able to push the lock up without difficulty.
He removed the latch, carefully pushed the door open, and stepped out into the hallway. A faint creaking sound of the hinges echoed. Fortunately, however, she remained fast asleep, not moving at all.
After observing her for a while, he soon pushed the door shut tightly with his head and cautiously stepped toward the stairs.
There were not many soldiers on guard. Thanks to that, he was able to avoid their eyes and reach the front of the study he used to use without much difficulty.
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