"...Etienne!"
Bewilderment clouded her face as she screamed loudly. In fact, even before coming to the barn—no, whenever she thought of Etienne—she had been thinking of the kiss with him.
'I can't hide it like this.'
Shioana quietly bit her lip at the sound of her heart beating louder than the sound of raindrops tapping on the roof.
"So please don't put me in a difficult position anymore."
His voice sank low as he was determined to hold out until Shioana left the barn no matter what.
The desire to steal Shioana's lips and a noble, restrained consciousness waged a fierce battle within his mind.
Seeing Etienne still rejecting her, Shioana felt a surge of defiance.
"What on earth is so difficult?"
As she carefully reached out and stroked his chin, a moan burst from Etienne's mouth.
I've wanted to touch your chin, lips, and cheeks for a while now.
"...Ha."
His eyes blazed at Shioana's touch. It had been a long time since he had felt the sound of the spring rain pounding against the roof. From the moment Shioana's shadow set foot here, his whole heart had been directed toward her alone.
'I tried to let her go time and time again...'
Shioana, oblivious to such effort, was engrossed in touching his chin and neck with the same innocence as when they had jumped up the mountain. For some reason, he felt so angry that it was hard to bear.
He extended his arms and lightly subdued both of Shioana's wrists, then lowered his head and kissed her cheek.
"I told you this would happen, but you had no fear..."
"Do you think I'm afraid of you?"
Contrary to her loud shouting, Shioana's back, which he was holding, twitched slightly. Etienne could not hide a strange excitement at the tension spreading through his palm.
A heavy, stuffy sensation lingered between the two bodies as they embraced, and he whispered slowly.
"Close your eyes, Miss."
"No! Then I won't be able to see you."
Even though she was trapped and unable to move an inch, Shioana did not lower her head. He let out a short sigh at the look in her eyes, which seemed determined not to miss a single moment of Etienne's presence.
"...Hmm."
And he immediately brought his hot lips to her.
It was a very short kiss.
This was the punishment given to the nasty young lady who drove him into hell.
"E, Etienne."
Shioana, who had promised not to close her eyes, called out to him with her eyes half-closed. It sounded like the voice of a fairy said to lure fishermen from the sea to their deaths.
“What more do you want?”
"Give me a little more of your lips."
Her pink lips, moistened with his saliva, opened dangerously and closed.
At Shioana's words, the last shred of reason he was barely holding onto snapped.
Etienne released her hands, cupped Shioana's cheeks with both hands, and pressed his lips against hers. It was impossible to tell whether the pounding heart was hers or his.
"...E, Etienne."
With her arms wrapped around his neck, Shioana repeatedly called Etienne's name. Their wet lips met without a single gap, refusing to separate. With a wet sound, their lips parted.
"...Ah."
Only then did Etienne come to his senses and quickly remove his hand from her face. The kiss, which he had started to punish her, turned out to be the punishment he himself had received.
For the moment he indulged in her breath, Etienne truly became Shioana's slave.
"Etienne, I like you."
Pressing down on her pounding heart, Shioana whispered. Etienne frowned as he looked down at her with reddened eyes. It was something he absolutely did not want to hear, yet it was also what he desperately wanted to hear.
"I don't think I can marry Count Noah with these feelings."
Good heavens!
He could not hide his bewilderment at Shioana's ensuing confession.
"The words 'I like you, Miss'..."
If it were to happen, he wanted to be the one to say it first.
Constantly wiping his face to hide his flushed cheeks, he let out a long sigh.
"...I will not be able to make you happy, Miss."
"But you see, my heart doesn't beat unless I'm with you like this."
It was a confession as rough as the wilderness of Regbell, yet piercing his heart as fiercely as the north wind swirling around the place. Even after hearing the sincerity, Etienne didn't know what to say. After all, he had never experienced dating or unrequited love.
"It's temporary, like a sudden rain."
"I wished it were like that, too!"
Shioana, running her fingertips through her swollen lips, shouted loudly. It wasn't as if she had been able to admit these feelings from the beginning. After all, Shioana Evgenia was the eldest daughter of Regbell, who ruled the North.
The innocent girl of good blood from the North that Count Noah wanted—that was Shioana.
"So, Etienne, please don't do this."
He acted as if he would give up anything in the world when their lips met, but as soon as their lips parted, he put on a face as if he didn't know her. It was annoying to see him stepping back, pretending to be purely for her sake.
"You like me too, don't you? Huh?"
"...Miss."
"I don't want to be like a young lady to you."
At some point, there were moments when being with him made her feel suffocated. Being called 'Miss' was unpleasant to hear, as it seemed to highlight the stark difference between Etienne and her.
"Then what do you want to become?"
"I just want to be Shioana to you."
Etienne could not easily open his mouth at her sincerity. It was a name he had called countless times when he was alone, but he could not dare to utter it carelessly.
"...Si-"
"It's fine if you take your time. In return, let's leave together before autumn comes. Yes?"
Shioana was someone who would cry in secret after being pricked by rose thorns or who would often stumble. She was afraid of the rain and of being left alone in a small room. Yet, she was now much braver than the cowardly Etienne.
Unable to control his seething emotions, he reached out and grabbed Shioana's arm and pulled her.
"..."
Etienne, holding her body tightly, gripped Shioana's back and waist fiercely with both hands.
Did God send Shioana because He regarded him lightly?
'I thought all gods were dead.'
Edwin's voice, who always offered a prayer before falling asleep, brushed past his ears.
'Merciful Diana, please bestow your blessings upon the souls of my family today as well.'
At the end of a plausible prayer, his younger sibling always added a personal request.
'I wish I had a new foal. I want to learn swordsmanship. I wish I had a stepmother.'
And most of his younger sibling's prayers were answered.
Although the ending was despair.
For that reason, Etienne decided not to entrust his fate to an invisible god.
"Miss, Miss."
With a mountain of confessions and words he wanted to say piled up, Etienne just called out to her like a fool.
He wanted to tell Shioana the story he had buried in his heart someday.
If someone cares about him, they might even understand his sinful and terrible past.
Knock knock.
Rainwater dripped through the crack in the roof, and he reached out to shield Shioana's head. He didn't want her to suffer, so he wanted to do anything for her. Etienne's heart swelled with emotion at the unfamiliar sensation.
'The last person I must protect in my life.'
His red eyes, looking down at the precious Shioana, took on a vivid hue.
Shioana, having been soaked in the rain, returned to her bedroom late at night. It was so cold that white steam was rising from her body. As she took off her wet clothes and immersed herself in the bathtub water that had cooled down quickly, her teeth chattered.
"I think it would be nice to have a glass of sherry."
She thought of the liquor Martha used to give her when she returned from playing in the winter fields. Just one sip would restore warmth to her body.
'Etienne likes me too.'
She covered her mouth with her hand to suppress the laughter welling up inside her.
It wasn't like a miserable unrequited love; just thinking about looking in one direction made her heart pound and gave her a tingling sensation.
It wasn't that she wasn't worried about Eli and her father being disappointed, but she decided to close jer eyes tightly just for today.
'I've never once said what I wanted until now.'
So, shouldn't I be able to choose the person I'll spend my life with with my own hands? Shioana hummed a tune as she swept the foam away with her hands.
It felt as though the sensation of Etienne's large hands, which had held her tightly, still lingered in various parts of her body.
How could he be able to make my heart race with every word he said? It was a mystery.
'Close your eyes, Miss.'
His words echoed in the bathroom, and Shioana quietly closed her eyes. It was as if she wanted to relive the moment she had spent with Etienne earlier.
"Because I don't want to forget a single moment."
She reached out and fumbled with her lips, and suddenly her cheeks flushed. She felt more embarrassed being alone now than when they had kissed for so long.
"I have to go meet him as soon as the sun rises tomorrow."
She didn't want to come back tonight either, but Etienne was stubborn to the very end. He said that since it was raining, they would catch a cold if they slept outside.
"You're the one sitting alone in the cold..."
A corner of her heart felt uneasy at the thought of him curled up on the straw. She wanted to share everything with him, both the good times and the hard times.
"From now on, we can do anything together, right?"
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