(164) Foolish and cruel
“Your Excellency, Little Lord, please allow me to at least confirm if my sister is safe.”
Victoria spoke in a trembling voice.
He could grant her anything she wants. If all she wants is to meet her sister out of concern, he can certainly do that much for her.
Just as he was about to answer, someone grabbed Geor's arm tightly. As soon as he spun around, golden eyes dove into his.
At that moment, something inside his head shattered with a clang.
His heart sank.
'What am I thinking right now...'
A chill ran down his spine, and goosebumps appeared on the back of his hand.
Geor swallowed hard and looked back at Victoria. Victoria still wore an expression filled with worry and longing, but she did not look as tender as before.
His heart, which had been beating wildly, regained its normal speed, and he could read the malice hidden behind Victoria's green eyes.
Damn it.
He has experienced this feeling a few times before. The feeling of being seized by thoughts and emotions.
When he faced Paganus, who had eaten the heart of a beast, there were times when he was seized with fear as if he were facing a predator. He had often fallen for that trick when he first fought Paganus in the past.
It looks like this crazy woman performed a blood ritual.
Geor had faced Paganus many times and had become immune to his tricks, but this was the first time he had met someone who used the power of blood to seduce a man. If it weren't for Shini, he would have fallen for it.
He wondered if Ariana knew this fact.
“My lady. Our Princess merely fainted for a moment because she felt dizzy from the sunlight. There is no problem today, so you can stop worrying.”
“But the atmosphere didn’t make it seem like a trivial matter. I was actually wondering how she was doing after she left for the East, and if she's collapsing from just sunlight... has her health deteriorated significantly?”
"It is better than when she was at the Bronte estate, so please return with peace of mind."
Victoria seemed to want to say something more, but Geor turned around abruptly. He smacked the backs of the heads of the knights, who still seemed deeply infatuated with her, one by one, and came inside with Shini.
Shini said in a low voice.
"That woman ate the heart."
"Yeah, it seems so."
"You need to be careful. It doesn't look like she ate just one or two."
Just then, Victoria's voice was heard from over the wall.
"Then please tell Ariana that I'm really worried about her. Please."
It was so obvious that it made Geor laugh.
She must be trying to play the role of a younger sibling who is extremely worried about Ariana. If she raises her voice like that, someone in the nearby mansion will hear, so it will look like Ariana is turning her sister away at the door.
But Ariana would think that such things don't matter.
As soon as he entered the building, he ran into Averaster. He looked haggard, as if he had been waiting all day since yesterday.
“What about Ariana?”
“She's safe. She woke up, and she's fine. Isaac will take good care of her.”
"Right. That's a relief."
Contrary to his words, Averaster's expression was not very bright. Averaster grabbed Geor's forearm and led him to the drawing room.
Averaster closed the drawing room door tightly, checked to make sure no one was listening, and opened his mouth.
“Geor. Have you heard the story about the former King Paganus?”
Yeah, he thought Averaster knew, too.
Unlike the Northern territory, which would behead Paganus without question, the Eastern territory occasionally engaged in conversation. Just as Geor had conversed with a young boy. So, he wondered if Averaster might have heard a similar story somewhere as well.
Averaster continued speaking.
“A woman with golden eyes who looks like an old woman and a young girl. The Paganus calls her a savior.”
"Yes."
“If she had been an ordinary old woman, the Northern Lord, Louis, and Shini would never have let her get away. Ariana fainted upon meeting her, and the others failed to catch her. Besides, they said she had golden eyes. Could she be the late King Paganus?”
“Maybe. Isn’t it fascinating? I thought it was just a legend, but the fact that such a being actually exists. Celebrating this life full of surprises, maybe I should offer a prayer to God...”
Averaster grabbed Geor's forearm. He stared intently at Geor with his blue eyes and spoke.
“What are you trying to hide by talking nonsense, Geor? Do you think I would cast Ariana out just because there is something between Ariana and the late King Paganus?”
“Ave.”
With a rather serious look in his eyes, Geor called out Averaster's nickname, which he hadn't used for a long time.
“Have you ever heard of the doctrine of time among Paganus’s doctrines?”
“The doctrine of Paganus?”
Geor recited in a calm voice.
“Therefore, Amanthal said, ‘Truly, those who believe in Me move time by My power and return, and they shall obtain the opportunity to make those who shed Your blood and those who ate Your flesh pay the just price.’”
Averaster narrowed his eyebrows.
“Ah, right. There are quite a few people who performed blood rituals because of that. Especially those who lost their children.”
“Yes, those who have lost a child are desperate enough to cling to anything. If only they could bring their dead child back to life, they would do anything. Even if it means straying from the path of humanity.”
“But why all of a sudden?”
Geor recalled the things Ariana had said to Cyrus after regaining consciousness. The stories were extremely strange, but he could understand them if Ariana had died once and then traveled back in time.
It was also possible to explain all of Ariana's actions up until now.
Despite having been abused and confined without even the opportunity to learn, Ariana possessed an air of having mastered the etiquette of the imperial palace. She had a grace and dignity difficult for a 16-year-old girl to possess, and wisdom difficult for an uneducated person to have.
Furthermore, Ariana seemed to harbor deep hatred toward the Third Prince, whom she had not even known before.
To think that a person could return to time after dying once. That is nonsense. Even if it is written in the doctrines of Paganus, there is no way that it is all true. If one could turn back time simply by believing in Amanthal, the god of Paganus, then this world would be full of people who have traveled back in time.
However, there were so many things that could be explained if she had returned to the time when he could not shake off that suspicion. No, it is not suspicion; it is certainty.
Then.
Who made time turn back?
He was curious.
Between the father who lost his child and Ariana, filled with hatred, who made that miracle possible?
“Geor?”
When Geor did not answer, Averaster called out to him urgently. Geor spoke.
“I’ve thought that if I could just turn back time, I’d want to go back to before I became the Little Lord.”
If that had been the case, he would have refused the position of the Little Lord. Then, on the day Ariana came to the Eastern Territory, he would have unhesitatingly courted her as Geor Obelius.
“What? Why? You don't like becoming family with us? Is someone making your life difficult? No, you... You aren't saying that to change the subject again, are you?”
Watching Averaster react as expected, Geor laughed. Averaster frowned.
“This is not the time for jokes, Geor. Ariana is always trying to do something, but if it involves Paganus, things can’t go on like this.”
Geor had the same thought.
No matter how smart Ariana was, some powers were difficult to stand against. She might be able to handle the Bronte family on her own, but if she was going to take on the Third Prince as well, she needed help.
He needs to send a letter to his father.
It was only after quite some time had passed that her emotions subsided. A scent that she hadn't noticed when she was swept up in the tidal wave tickled her nose.
It was only then that Ariana realized she was being held in Cyrus's arms while gripping him by the collar.
Ariana closed her eyes without pushing him away.
The intense emotion Russell had felt still lingered in her heart. Because she did not know the pain of losing a child, the agonizing pain that tore at her lungs did not easily subside.
That dream... surely it’s not just a simple dream.
At first, she thought it was a terrible nightmare.
Ariana longed for her parents' affection, but ultimately died without receiving even a shred of it. She thought that was why she was having such dreams. A foolish nightmare that at least her father must have loved her.
But now she understands.
That is not a nightmare.
Her father actually said that he had missed her all along.
When a father learns that the daughter he could not meet was actually abused and used until she died, what attitude will he take?
She wouldn't have known in the past, but now she does.
He would unhesitatingly draw his sword to hold those in charge accountable. Recalling the feelings of Russell, who had drawn his sword even knowing that the Northern Lord was trying to use him, the tears that she thought had stopped flowed again.
'Father...'
The image of the father, laughing and feeling anxious at Ariana's slightest change in expression, was vividly portrayed.
I... someone like that...
A sense of guilt weighed heavily on Ariana.
Just because I wanted to be needed by someone...
As if sensing Ariana's sobs, Cyrus slowly patted her back. No, Cyrus had been patting Ariana's back the whole time.
A low, soft voice was heard from above her head.
“What is so sorrowful that you cry all the time?”
“Because I was endlessly foolish and cruel...”
The hand patting her back paused for a moment, as if surprised by the sound of Ariana's answer.
“Then what? You are still young. Children can be foolish and cruel.”
“I wasn’t young. Even though I was fully grown, and even though I could have escaped and lived my own life, I couldn’t. I simply remained captured and struck down the innocent.”
"Children who are not loved tend not to grow up properly. I, too, remain ungrown, letting the hearts of my loved ones slip away, engulfed in cold hatred, and pushing away all things warm."
His voice was monotonous, but it was filled with emotion. Ariana lifted her head while still in his arms. She met his gaze.
The red eyes were transparent and clear. Only Ariana was reflected in those lake-like eyes. The Ariana within them wore an extremely despairing expression.
She wonders why.
The moment she saw herself in his eyes, she felt that no matter what expression she made or what emotion she expressed, Cyrus would always accept her just like this—calm, clear, and transparent.
Cyrus, who had been giving a warm look, spoke in a whisper.
"If you weep because you are foolish and cruel, I must weep too."
"If you cry, I'll cry with you."
"When you cry, I want to cry too."
Thinking that was what was being said, Ariana squeezed her eyes shut.
Then, something cold and soft overlapped with her lips.
It moved very carefully, as if trying to sweep away the guilt and pain Ariana felt. Although it was as cold as the winter of the North, the part it touched was hot. The heat spreading from the point of contact flowed down her neck and shoulders.
A sensation she had never felt before spread from her solar plexus and clutched her heart. It was sweet and mellow like an aphrodisiac, making her want to forget everything and immerse herself in it.
But she must not. She do not deserve to feel such sweetness, having been so ruthless.
As she pushed his chest away, their lips easily parted. Despite the rejection, his gaze fixed on Ariana remained gentle.
"Northern Lord, I."
Will you be able to maintain that sweet gaze even after learning the truth?
I have returned to time.
Even after you find out about the countless evil deeds I have committed, will you still be able to look at me with such tenderness?
"Despite having stabbed a knife into the hearts of many and made them bleed, I hated and resented everyone as if I were the only victim, and I have returned through time harboring those feelings deep inside my heart."
“Your Excellency, Little Lord, please allow me to at least confirm if my sister is safe.”
Victoria spoke in a trembling voice.
He could grant her anything she wants. If all she wants is to meet her sister out of concern, he can certainly do that much for her.
Just as he was about to answer, someone grabbed Geor's arm tightly. As soon as he spun around, golden eyes dove into his.
At that moment, something inside his head shattered with a clang.
His heart sank.
'What am I thinking right now...'
A chill ran down his spine, and goosebumps appeared on the back of his hand.
Geor swallowed hard and looked back at Victoria. Victoria still wore an expression filled with worry and longing, but she did not look as tender as before.
His heart, which had been beating wildly, regained its normal speed, and he could read the malice hidden behind Victoria's green eyes.
Damn it.
He has experienced this feeling a few times before. The feeling of being seized by thoughts and emotions.
When he faced Paganus, who had eaten the heart of a beast, there were times when he was seized with fear as if he were facing a predator. He had often fallen for that trick when he first fought Paganus in the past.
It looks like this crazy woman performed a blood ritual.
Geor had faced Paganus many times and had become immune to his tricks, but this was the first time he had met someone who used the power of blood to seduce a man. If it weren't for Shini, he would have fallen for it.
He wondered if Ariana knew this fact.
“My lady. Our Princess merely fainted for a moment because she felt dizzy from the sunlight. There is no problem today, so you can stop worrying.”
“But the atmosphere didn’t make it seem like a trivial matter. I was actually wondering how she was doing after she left for the East, and if she's collapsing from just sunlight... has her health deteriorated significantly?”
"It is better than when she was at the Bronte estate, so please return with peace of mind."
Victoria seemed to want to say something more, but Geor turned around abruptly. He smacked the backs of the heads of the knights, who still seemed deeply infatuated with her, one by one, and came inside with Shini.
Shini said in a low voice.
"That woman ate the heart."
"Yeah, it seems so."
"You need to be careful. It doesn't look like she ate just one or two."
Just then, Victoria's voice was heard from over the wall.
"Then please tell Ariana that I'm really worried about her. Please."
It was so obvious that it made Geor laugh.
She must be trying to play the role of a younger sibling who is extremely worried about Ariana. If she raises her voice like that, someone in the nearby mansion will hear, so it will look like Ariana is turning her sister away at the door.
But Ariana would think that such things don't matter.
As soon as he entered the building, he ran into Averaster. He looked haggard, as if he had been waiting all day since yesterday.
“What about Ariana?”
“She's safe. She woke up, and she's fine. Isaac will take good care of her.”
"Right. That's a relief."
Contrary to his words, Averaster's expression was not very bright. Averaster grabbed Geor's forearm and led him to the drawing room.
Averaster closed the drawing room door tightly, checked to make sure no one was listening, and opened his mouth.
“Geor. Have you heard the story about the former King Paganus?”
Yeah, he thought Averaster knew, too.
Unlike the Northern territory, which would behead Paganus without question, the Eastern territory occasionally engaged in conversation. Just as Geor had conversed with a young boy. So, he wondered if Averaster might have heard a similar story somewhere as well.
Averaster continued speaking.
“A woman with golden eyes who looks like an old woman and a young girl. The Paganus calls her a savior.”
"Yes."
“If she had been an ordinary old woman, the Northern Lord, Louis, and Shini would never have let her get away. Ariana fainted upon meeting her, and the others failed to catch her. Besides, they said she had golden eyes. Could she be the late King Paganus?”
“Maybe. Isn’t it fascinating? I thought it was just a legend, but the fact that such a being actually exists. Celebrating this life full of surprises, maybe I should offer a prayer to God...”
Averaster grabbed Geor's forearm. He stared intently at Geor with his blue eyes and spoke.
“What are you trying to hide by talking nonsense, Geor? Do you think I would cast Ariana out just because there is something between Ariana and the late King Paganus?”
“Ave.”
With a rather serious look in his eyes, Geor called out Averaster's nickname, which he hadn't used for a long time.
“Have you ever heard of the doctrine of time among Paganus’s doctrines?”
“The doctrine of Paganus?”
Geor recited in a calm voice.
“Therefore, Amanthal said, ‘Truly, those who believe in Me move time by My power and return, and they shall obtain the opportunity to make those who shed Your blood and those who ate Your flesh pay the just price.’”
Averaster narrowed his eyebrows.
“Ah, right. There are quite a few people who performed blood rituals because of that. Especially those who lost their children.”
“Yes, those who have lost a child are desperate enough to cling to anything. If only they could bring their dead child back to life, they would do anything. Even if it means straying from the path of humanity.”
“But why all of a sudden?”
Geor recalled the things Ariana had said to Cyrus after regaining consciousness. The stories were extremely strange, but he could understand them if Ariana had died once and then traveled back in time.
It was also possible to explain all of Ariana's actions up until now.
Despite having been abused and confined without even the opportunity to learn, Ariana possessed an air of having mastered the etiquette of the imperial palace. She had a grace and dignity difficult for a 16-year-old girl to possess, and wisdom difficult for an uneducated person to have.
Furthermore, Ariana seemed to harbor deep hatred toward the Third Prince, whom she had not even known before.
To think that a person could return to time after dying once. That is nonsense. Even if it is written in the doctrines of Paganus, there is no way that it is all true. If one could turn back time simply by believing in Amanthal, the god of Paganus, then this world would be full of people who have traveled back in time.
However, there were so many things that could be explained if she had returned to the time when he could not shake off that suspicion. No, it is not suspicion; it is certainty.
Then.
Who made time turn back?
He was curious.
Between the father who lost his child and Ariana, filled with hatred, who made that miracle possible?
“Geor?”
When Geor did not answer, Averaster called out to him urgently. Geor spoke.
“I’ve thought that if I could just turn back time, I’d want to go back to before I became the Little Lord.”
If that had been the case, he would have refused the position of the Little Lord. Then, on the day Ariana came to the Eastern Territory, he would have unhesitatingly courted her as Geor Obelius.
“What? Why? You don't like becoming family with us? Is someone making your life difficult? No, you... You aren't saying that to change the subject again, are you?”
Watching Averaster react as expected, Geor laughed. Averaster frowned.
“This is not the time for jokes, Geor. Ariana is always trying to do something, but if it involves Paganus, things can’t go on like this.”
Geor had the same thought.
No matter how smart Ariana was, some powers were difficult to stand against. She might be able to handle the Bronte family on her own, but if she was going to take on the Third Prince as well, she needed help.
He needs to send a letter to his father.
***
It was only after quite some time had passed that her emotions subsided. A scent that she hadn't noticed when she was swept up in the tidal wave tickled her nose.
It was only then that Ariana realized she was being held in Cyrus's arms while gripping him by the collar.
Ariana closed her eyes without pushing him away.
The intense emotion Russell had felt still lingered in her heart. Because she did not know the pain of losing a child, the agonizing pain that tore at her lungs did not easily subside.
That dream... surely it’s not just a simple dream.
At first, she thought it was a terrible nightmare.
Ariana longed for her parents' affection, but ultimately died without receiving even a shred of it. She thought that was why she was having such dreams. A foolish nightmare that at least her father must have loved her.
But now she understands.
That is not a nightmare.
Her father actually said that he had missed her all along.
When a father learns that the daughter he could not meet was actually abused and used until she died, what attitude will he take?
She wouldn't have known in the past, but now she does.
He would unhesitatingly draw his sword to hold those in charge accountable. Recalling the feelings of Russell, who had drawn his sword even knowing that the Northern Lord was trying to use him, the tears that she thought had stopped flowed again.
'Father...'
The image of the father, laughing and feeling anxious at Ariana's slightest change in expression, was vividly portrayed.
I... someone like that...
A sense of guilt weighed heavily on Ariana.
Just because I wanted to be needed by someone...
As if sensing Ariana's sobs, Cyrus slowly patted her back. No, Cyrus had been patting Ariana's back the whole time.
A low, soft voice was heard from above her head.
“What is so sorrowful that you cry all the time?”
“Because I was endlessly foolish and cruel...”
The hand patting her back paused for a moment, as if surprised by the sound of Ariana's answer.
“Then what? You are still young. Children can be foolish and cruel.”
“I wasn’t young. Even though I was fully grown, and even though I could have escaped and lived my own life, I couldn’t. I simply remained captured and struck down the innocent.”
"Children who are not loved tend not to grow up properly. I, too, remain ungrown, letting the hearts of my loved ones slip away, engulfed in cold hatred, and pushing away all things warm."
His voice was monotonous, but it was filled with emotion. Ariana lifted her head while still in his arms. She met his gaze.
The red eyes were transparent and clear. Only Ariana was reflected in those lake-like eyes. The Ariana within them wore an extremely despairing expression.
She wonders why.
The moment she saw herself in his eyes, she felt that no matter what expression she made or what emotion she expressed, Cyrus would always accept her just like this—calm, clear, and transparent.
Cyrus, who had been giving a warm look, spoke in a whisper.
"If you weep because you are foolish and cruel, I must weep too."
"If you cry, I'll cry with you."
"When you cry, I want to cry too."
Thinking that was what was being said, Ariana squeezed her eyes shut.
Then, something cold and soft overlapped with her lips.
It moved very carefully, as if trying to sweep away the guilt and pain Ariana felt. Although it was as cold as the winter of the North, the part it touched was hot. The heat spreading from the point of contact flowed down her neck and shoulders.
A sensation she had never felt before spread from her solar plexus and clutched her heart. It was sweet and mellow like an aphrodisiac, making her want to forget everything and immerse herself in it.
But she must not. She do not deserve to feel such sweetness, having been so ruthless.
As she pushed his chest away, their lips easily parted. Despite the rejection, his gaze fixed on Ariana remained gentle.
"Northern Lord, I."
Will you be able to maintain that sweet gaze even after learning the truth?
I have returned to time.
Even after you find out about the countless evil deeds I have committed, will you still be able to look at me with such tenderness?
"Despite having stabbed a knife into the hearts of many and made them bleed, I hated and resented everyone as if I were the only victim, and I have returned through time harboring those feelings deep inside my heart."
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