(163) Because of my foolishness (2)
It felt like all the blood was draining from his body.
“I also heard the Duchess of Bronte say incessantly. ‘I shouldn’t have given birth to you.’ Useless. Unlucky. Why was someone like you born?!”
Russell listened to the story coming from Cyrus's mouth that he did not want to believe, unable to breathe or blink.
“The Lord of the West has a knack for turning the useless into something useful. He arranged a marriage between her and the Alfreich family, and later brought her into the Imperial Palace to serve as the Third Prince’s right-hand woman. She must have been quite useful until the current Emperor and Empress ascended to their positions. After all, she even brought down the Eastern Territory like this.”
Every single word Cyrus spoke became a sharp blade that sliced Russell's heart into tiny pieces.
He didn't know Ariana was living like that. Although she had married an older man, he assumed she was living well as a noble Countess with the strong support of the Alfreich family.
Abused by her mother and neglected by her father, the woman died without even harboring a knife inside her. Without ever hearing a single kind word from anyone. Without even leaving behind a grave.
Tears welling up in his wide-open eyes streamed down his cheeks. Cyrus was looking at Russell with cold eyes.
“So, you cowered so low that you couldn’t even check on your daughter’s situation—is that the result?! Is the East, whom you wanted to protect, safe?!”
Unable to bear the words that pierced his heart, Russell suddenly vomited blood. It was a situation where the wounds sustained in the war had not yet fully healed.
But his heart ached more than that.
Hearing that the small, frail child he had seen just once at the party lived and died that way in an attempt to become a useful being, his insides were turned upside down.
“What do you intend to do, Lord of the East? Since the forces of the Eastern Territory are still strong, will you simply hole up quietly in Chase Castle and defend the Eastern Territory?”
“Who is responsible for Countess Alfreich’s death?”
He could not even bring himself to utter his daughter's name. The father, who had turned a blind eye and left her alone despite her living that way, had no right to speak her name.
Who else besides me is responsible for her death?
A cold smile played on Cyrus's lips.
"The current Emperor and Empress, the House of Bronte, and the Lord of the West. Everyone is responsible."
Russell bit his lip. His tender flesh was torn and bleeding, but he didn't care. Ariana, who had to live like that, must have been in even more pain. She must have been in so much agony that she wouldn't even feel this level of pain.
Some things had to be given up because of the monarch's position. Some things had to be turned a blind eye to to protect the East.
However, the father who had lost two children could no longer simply hold onto his position as monarch.
Thus, Russell took action. Despite strong opposition, he gathered his troops and moved toward the West.
Western Lord requested assistance from the Empire, but the Empire could not afford to respond. The armies of the Northern and Eastern Territories, spread out like wings, kept the Empire in check internally and Paganus in check externally.
The soldiers of the East penetrated the West with the sharpness of a spear.
The soldiers who had lost their loved ones stained every place they passed with blood. Western Lord put up a desperate fight with state-of-the-art weapons and troops he had prepared beforehand, but he was slashed to death by the swords of low-ranking knights from the Eastern side.
Rachel knelt before Russell and begged, but Russell's sword showed no hesitation in cutting off the arms and legs of the woman who was once his wife.
Looking down at Rachel, who was screaming after losing her limbs, Russell said.
“Once when Geor died, and again when I heard of Ariana’s death. I felt my insides being torn apart, yet you wail over just that.”
“Russell! Russ-e-el!”
“Every moment must have been painful for Ariana, just as it is for you right now. No matter how much we suffer, neither you nor I will ever be forgiven for that sin.”
Russell gestured to the knight standing next to him.
Rachel wailed for her life, but her plea did not last long. Russell looked down with heavy eyes as Rachel's head rolled on the floor.
Soon, news arrived that the Emperor and Empress had died.
The Arcana Empire, founded by Cyrus, devoured the Cameria Empire, and those responsible for the former Emperor's death were killed off. Afterwards, Cyrus revealed that Countess Ariana Alfreich had been framed and restored her honor.
Nevertheless, Russell's broken heart did not heal.
Feeling heart-wrenching pain, Ariana opened her eyes.
It was such a long dream. She was so immersed in his life and emotions that she couldn't tell if she was Russell or Ariana.
The pain of losing two children was too great for Ariana to bear. She gasped for breath from the agony so intense that it made all the pain she had felt until now seem lovely.
"Ariana."
The man standing next to the bed looked down at Ariana.
Seeing those red eyes, she was reminded of the cold gaze Russell had seen. And the sharp voice that had mercilessly torn Russell's heart apart.
“You used my death...”
Ariana reached out and grabbed him by the collar.
"You used my death."
“Ariana?”
Cyrus's red eyes wavered. Although the eyes before her were not as cold as they had been back then, they felt unbearably chilling to Ariana.
"That is how you dragged my father into your war."
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“And yet... and yet I cannot resent you. Because what I did is even more terrible.”
"What have you done?"
“What I did was so cruel that I can’t blame anyone.”
When she first met her family in jer new life, her only feeling toward them was resentment—thinking of them as "the people who neglected and abandoned me." She didn't even feel sorry for what she had done to them in the past.
Since you abandoned me, I simply abandoned you.
She thought so.
However, as the days went by and the warmth of her family began to color Ariana's world with sparkle, she felt an unspeakable sense of guilt.
These people because of me. These people and I.
The foolish woman, who lived harboring only the wish to be loved, caused the death of innocent people due to her greed. Even though she did not actually stab them, their blood covered her every move.
Even though it is something that has not happened, she felt sorry and deeply guilty. Ariana resolved that this time, at least in this life, she would let them live in peace and would not drag them into her vengeful hatred.
She just wanted the East to be a place that sparkled brightly like that. She didn't want to get their feet soaked in her dark emotions.
“I was even worse... Father knew that, yet...”
Even knowing that Ariana was responsible for the fall of the East, Russell acted to avenge her. Even knowing that Cyrus was trying to use him, he took up his sword solely to punish those responsible for his daughter's death.
“Even though you knew, for my sake...”
She thought she had been alone her entire life. She thought that no one would have cared about the death of the Countess, who had been framed.
She thought the Countess's strangled body had been abandoned somewhere and forgotten by everyone's memory.
But it wasn't.
Cyrus remembered Ariana's death and used it, and Russell carried that death in his heart.
Even though she is a daughter like this. Even though she is the only daughter who resented him, not even realizing it was his own foolishness.
“What should I do? Cyrus, you’re smart. So tell me. What should I do to atone for this sin?”
Ariana, who had been asleep for a whole day, looked even more distressed after waking up. Cyrus didn't know what to do for her, as she spoke incomprehensible words with a look on her face as if she were about to die at any moment.
"I just wanted to hug you."
So he did that.
He held her in his arms very carefully, as if embracing a statue made of sand. He held her trembling body preciously and whispered.
“You don’t have to do anything, Ariana. You are innocent.”
He stroked the tender back and spoke.
“If there is any sin, I will take it away. I will bear the burden, so you can just stay put.”
Sobs escaped from within. For a while, Ariana buried her face in Cyrus's chest and wept.
After a while had passed and the sobbing was gradually subsiding, Ariana lifted her head and met Cyrus's eyes.
"I."
The voice mixed with tears was pitiful.
"My existence."
The eyes filled with anxiety were pitiful.
“Even if it started in Paganus?”
"Yes."
Cyrus didn't hesitate.
He gently lowered his head, kissed her plump forehead, and buried his lips in her hair.
“No matter what you are.”
Geor quietly watched Ariana in Cyrus's arms. It seemed Cyrus had forgotten that Geor and Shini were here with him.
It felt like all the blood was draining from his body.
“I also heard the Duchess of Bronte say incessantly. ‘I shouldn’t have given birth to you.’ Useless. Unlucky. Why was someone like you born?!”
Russell listened to the story coming from Cyrus's mouth that he did not want to believe, unable to breathe or blink.
“The Lord of the West has a knack for turning the useless into something useful. He arranged a marriage between her and the Alfreich family, and later brought her into the Imperial Palace to serve as the Third Prince’s right-hand woman. She must have been quite useful until the current Emperor and Empress ascended to their positions. After all, she even brought down the Eastern Territory like this.”
Every single word Cyrus spoke became a sharp blade that sliced Russell's heart into tiny pieces.
He didn't know Ariana was living like that. Although she had married an older man, he assumed she was living well as a noble Countess with the strong support of the Alfreich family.
Abused by her mother and neglected by her father, the woman died without even harboring a knife inside her. Without ever hearing a single kind word from anyone. Without even leaving behind a grave.
Tears welling up in his wide-open eyes streamed down his cheeks. Cyrus was looking at Russell with cold eyes.
“So, you cowered so low that you couldn’t even check on your daughter’s situation—is that the result?! Is the East, whom you wanted to protect, safe?!”
Unable to bear the words that pierced his heart, Russell suddenly vomited blood. It was a situation where the wounds sustained in the war had not yet fully healed.
But his heart ached more than that.
Hearing that the small, frail child he had seen just once at the party lived and died that way in an attempt to become a useful being, his insides were turned upside down.
“What do you intend to do, Lord of the East? Since the forces of the Eastern Territory are still strong, will you simply hole up quietly in Chase Castle and defend the Eastern Territory?”
“Who is responsible for Countess Alfreich’s death?”
He could not even bring himself to utter his daughter's name. The father, who had turned a blind eye and left her alone despite her living that way, had no right to speak her name.
Who else besides me is responsible for her death?
A cold smile played on Cyrus's lips.
"The current Emperor and Empress, the House of Bronte, and the Lord of the West. Everyone is responsible."
Russell bit his lip. His tender flesh was torn and bleeding, but he didn't care. Ariana, who had to live like that, must have been in even more pain. She must have been in so much agony that she wouldn't even feel this level of pain.
Some things had to be given up because of the monarch's position. Some things had to be turned a blind eye to to protect the East.
However, the father who had lost two children could no longer simply hold onto his position as monarch.
Thus, Russell took action. Despite strong opposition, he gathered his troops and moved toward the West.
Western Lord requested assistance from the Empire, but the Empire could not afford to respond. The armies of the Northern and Eastern Territories, spread out like wings, kept the Empire in check internally and Paganus in check externally.
The soldiers of the East penetrated the West with the sharpness of a spear.
The soldiers who had lost their loved ones stained every place they passed with blood. Western Lord put up a desperate fight with state-of-the-art weapons and troops he had prepared beforehand, but he was slashed to death by the swords of low-ranking knights from the Eastern side.
Rachel knelt before Russell and begged, but Russell's sword showed no hesitation in cutting off the arms and legs of the woman who was once his wife.
Looking down at Rachel, who was screaming after losing her limbs, Russell said.
“Once when Geor died, and again when I heard of Ariana’s death. I felt my insides being torn apart, yet you wail over just that.”
“Russell! Russ-e-el!”
“Every moment must have been painful for Ariana, just as it is for you right now. No matter how much we suffer, neither you nor I will ever be forgiven for that sin.”
Russell gestured to the knight standing next to him.
Rachel wailed for her life, but her plea did not last long. Russell looked down with heavy eyes as Rachel's head rolled on the floor.
Soon, news arrived that the Emperor and Empress had died.
The Arcana Empire, founded by Cyrus, devoured the Cameria Empire, and those responsible for the former Emperor's death were killed off. Afterwards, Cyrus revealed that Countess Ariana Alfreich had been framed and restored her honor.
Nevertheless, Russell's broken heart did not heal.
***
Feeling heart-wrenching pain, Ariana opened her eyes.
It was such a long dream. She was so immersed in his life and emotions that she couldn't tell if she was Russell or Ariana.
The pain of losing two children was too great for Ariana to bear. She gasped for breath from the agony so intense that it made all the pain she had felt until now seem lovely.
"Ariana."
The man standing next to the bed looked down at Ariana.
Seeing those red eyes, she was reminded of the cold gaze Russell had seen. And the sharp voice that had mercilessly torn Russell's heart apart.
“You used my death...”
Ariana reached out and grabbed him by the collar.
"You used my death."
“Ariana?”
Cyrus's red eyes wavered. Although the eyes before her were not as cold as they had been back then, they felt unbearably chilling to Ariana.
"That is how you dragged my father into your war."
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“And yet... and yet I cannot resent you. Because what I did is even more terrible.”
"What have you done?"
“What I did was so cruel that I can’t blame anyone.”
When she first met her family in jer new life, her only feeling toward them was resentment—thinking of them as "the people who neglected and abandoned me." She didn't even feel sorry for what she had done to them in the past.
Since you abandoned me, I simply abandoned you.
She thought so.
However, as the days went by and the warmth of her family began to color Ariana's world with sparkle, she felt an unspeakable sense of guilt.
These people because of me. These people and I.
The foolish woman, who lived harboring only the wish to be loved, caused the death of innocent people due to her greed. Even though she did not actually stab them, their blood covered her every move.
Even though it is something that has not happened, she felt sorry and deeply guilty. Ariana resolved that this time, at least in this life, she would let them live in peace and would not drag them into her vengeful hatred.
She just wanted the East to be a place that sparkled brightly like that. She didn't want to get their feet soaked in her dark emotions.
“I was even worse... Father knew that, yet...”
Even knowing that Ariana was responsible for the fall of the East, Russell acted to avenge her. Even knowing that Cyrus was trying to use him, he took up his sword solely to punish those responsible for his daughter's death.
“Even though you knew, for my sake...”
She thought she had been alone her entire life. She thought that no one would have cared about the death of the Countess, who had been framed.
She thought the Countess's strangled body had been abandoned somewhere and forgotten by everyone's memory.
But it wasn't.
Cyrus remembered Ariana's death and used it, and Russell carried that death in his heart.
Even though she is a daughter like this. Even though she is the only daughter who resented him, not even realizing it was his own foolishness.
“What should I do? Cyrus, you’re smart. So tell me. What should I do to atone for this sin?”
Ariana, who had been asleep for a whole day, looked even more distressed after waking up. Cyrus didn't know what to do for her, as she spoke incomprehensible words with a look on her face as if she were about to die at any moment.
"I just wanted to hug you."
So he did that.
He held her in his arms very carefully, as if embracing a statue made of sand. He held her trembling body preciously and whispered.
“You don’t have to do anything, Ariana. You are innocent.”
He stroked the tender back and spoke.
“If there is any sin, I will take it away. I will bear the burden, so you can just stay put.”
Sobs escaped from within. For a while, Ariana buried her face in Cyrus's chest and wept.
After a while had passed and the sobbing was gradually subsiding, Ariana lifted her head and met Cyrus's eyes.
"I."
The voice mixed with tears was pitiful.
"My existence."
The eyes filled with anxiety were pitiful.
“Even if it started in Paganus?”
"Yes."
Cyrus didn't hesitate.
He gently lowered his head, kissed her plump forehead, and buried his lips in her hair.
“No matter what you are.”
***
Geor quietly watched Ariana in Cyrus's arms. It seemed Cyrus had forgotten that Geor and Shini were here with him.
He had always thought that he would see a sight like this someday. Even if the person wasn't Cyrus, he knew that someday he would see Ariana in another man's arms. And he also knew that he was in a position where he would have to watch it happen.
Knowing something in his head and actually seeing it felt different.
Crunch, crunch, crunch. Geor heard a breaking sound and wondered what was shattering into such tiny pieces, but it was his heart. Geor clenched his fists tightly and swallowed a groan.
Ariana clung to Cyrus as if he were a lifeline. Even after being embraced, her hand gripping Cyrus's collar tightly did not let go, as if saying, "Do not leave me alone."
Even while resenting Cyrus and blaming herself for her sins, Ariana did not let Cyrus go.
Geor didn't care about the incomprehensible things Ariana kept saying.
I'm just jealous of you, Cyrus Carha.
While he was thinking that, Shini stood on tiptoe and whispered to Geor.
"It seems like the atmosphere is such that we should leave."
“Yeah, that’s right. I almost ended up looking like someone who couldn’t read the atmosphere.”
Geor armed his face with a smile, pretending nothing was wrong. He moved his feet, which felt heavy with reluctance, and slipped out of the room silently.
"Your Excellency, are you alright?"
Shini had a surprisingly sharp side. Seeing the worry mixed in her golden eyes left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"Is it obvious enough for anyone to notice?"
"Master doesn't know."
"Yeah, usually only the person involved doesn't know."
Shini parted her lips as if she didn't know what to say, then closed them. "It's fine," Geor muttered, heading toward the White family mansion.
Since it was separated from Cyrus's mansion by just a single wall, he only had to walk the distance of the garden. As he walked along that path, which felt both short and long, he spotted a woman standing in front of the mansion.
A woman with straw-colored hair was pleading with the knights guarding the door.
“I’m really just worried about my sister. I saw her collapse yesterday...”
It was Victoria.
The knights exchanged glances, seemingly swayed by her plea. Then, as they were about to open the door, Geor hurriedly ran over and blocked their path.
Geor glared at Victoria, who was looking up at him with longing. Victoria's green eyes shone pitifully. Geor's gaze softened.
Alluring eyes filled with longing burrowed into Geor's brain and clutched his heart. His heart, which had been shattered by Ariana, began to pound uncontrollably.
Geor thought Victoria was much more beautiful and lovely than when he had seen her before.
Knowing something in his head and actually seeing it felt different.
Crunch, crunch, crunch. Geor heard a breaking sound and wondered what was shattering into such tiny pieces, but it was his heart. Geor clenched his fists tightly and swallowed a groan.
Ariana clung to Cyrus as if he were a lifeline. Even after being embraced, her hand gripping Cyrus's collar tightly did not let go, as if saying, "Do not leave me alone."
Even while resenting Cyrus and blaming herself for her sins, Ariana did not let Cyrus go.
Geor didn't care about the incomprehensible things Ariana kept saying.
I'm just jealous of you, Cyrus Carha.
While he was thinking that, Shini stood on tiptoe and whispered to Geor.
"It seems like the atmosphere is such that we should leave."
“Yeah, that’s right. I almost ended up looking like someone who couldn’t read the atmosphere.”
Geor armed his face with a smile, pretending nothing was wrong. He moved his feet, which felt heavy with reluctance, and slipped out of the room silently.
"Your Excellency, are you alright?"
Shini had a surprisingly sharp side. Seeing the worry mixed in her golden eyes left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"Is it obvious enough for anyone to notice?"
"Master doesn't know."
"Yeah, usually only the person involved doesn't know."
Shini parted her lips as if she didn't know what to say, then closed them. "It's fine," Geor muttered, heading toward the White family mansion.
Since it was separated from Cyrus's mansion by just a single wall, he only had to walk the distance of the garden. As he walked along that path, which felt both short and long, he spotted a woman standing in front of the mansion.
A woman with straw-colored hair was pleading with the knights guarding the door.
“I’m really just worried about my sister. I saw her collapse yesterday...”
It was Victoria.
The knights exchanged glances, seemingly swayed by her plea. Then, as they were about to open the door, Geor hurriedly ran over and blocked their path.
Geor glared at Victoria, who was looking up at him with longing. Victoria's green eyes shone pitifully. Geor's gaze softened.
Alluring eyes filled with longing burrowed into Geor's brain and clutched his heart. His heart, which had been shattered by Ariana, began to pound uncontrollably.
Geor thought Victoria was much more beautiful and lovely than when he had seen her before.
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