Before she died, she had completely resolved her feelings for Kendrick. She had shaken off all her lingering attachments.
“Didn’t things get better after you got married?”
But Kendrick didn't seem to be there yet. Judging by his desperate clinging to Stella, Kendrick had always been a man desperate for answers. What more could he do to stop her eyes from trembling? Stella found Kendrick's eyes, filled with passion, amusing.
'Will telling you the reason make any difference?'
We all knew how things changed over time. Kendrick increasingly distrusted Stella. His interest and affection waned. Yet, like a good husband, he instilled hope in Stella with sweet words.
'Even if I tell you why I'm sad.'
Before her regression, it wasn't that she didn't try, though her methods were crooked. She had clearly expressed her struggles because of Sia and tried to explain why seeing her was uncomfortable.
'You won't change anyway.'
But it was Kendrick who treated Stella like a child.
"Yes. Just take a rest."
Stella still didn't answer. Kendrick seemed to have given up on hearing her answer. He walked away from Stella with a weary look on his face, adjusting his tie. Stella was used to this situation. Whenever Stella was sick, Kendrick would rush over, and when she came to, he would go back to work as if nothing had happened.
'That back view.'
She always wished Kendrick would stay by her side a little longer, Stella thought, watching Kendrick's back.
'So am I still 20 now?'
She can feel air flowing in and out of her lungs, and she can blink her eyes.
'It was the first time I attempted suicide after getting married.'
She doesn't remember exactly, but things went like this the first time she attempted suicide after getting married.
"Stella, if you need anything, just let me know."
That's right. That line was familiar. Indeed, Kendrick provided everything she needed: expensive clothes, perfume, and the like. But material things couldn't heal Stella's aching heart. Stella longed to spend time with Kendrick, and he was always busy. He was a man with many things more important than his wife.
"I'll do anything."
‘I’ll do anything...?’
At twenty, she might have liked Kendrick for being so kind to her. But Stella wasn't the Stella she'd been. Now, there was only one thing she wanted from Kendrick.
"Kendrick, I have a favor to ask."
His body, which had been heading towards the door, returned to Stella.
"What?"
The woman who always waited for him, lying in bed. No matter how much effort he put in, she was still in pain and deeply wounded. Her purple hair hung carelessly, and she looked at him with sad eyes. She spoke.
"Please divorce me."
Kendrick chuckled, as if he found it absurd. He thought she was just making a pointless joke after coming back from the dead.
"Stella, speak sense."
Stella lay limp, like a fallen red leaf. He took in her appearance carefully.
"Are you in your right mind?"
Kendrick drew the line as if he had nothing more to hear.
"If you're just trying to get my attention, then stop. It's not fun."
'I'm more sane now than I've ever been.'
Stella thought resolutely. Lying in bed, wearing a hospital gown and with an IV drip, her resolve was unwavering, though it didn't show on the outside.
'I want to leave this man.'
Moreover.
'I don't want to repeat the same life.'
Even though her throat was weak, she spoke clearly.
"I'm not trying to get your attention."
She could see Kendrick's eyes wavering.
"I really want to stop living with you."
Stella's divorce request was denied. Kendrick didn't even listen to her.
'I thought you'd think positively if I told you I wanted a divorce.'
Stella laughed.
"Is it because I haven't lost interest in you yet? Or, ah."
She thinks she knows why Kendrick reacted this way.
- If you want my attention, then stop.
'You probably know I still like you.'
Or maybe you're just talking crazy.
Stella couldn't stand to see Kendrick delusional. So, to convey her true feelings, she brought up the topic of divorce once again.
"Do you think divorce is easy?"
Stella's divorce attempt failed miserably.
"You are a sick person. You have a history of mental illness."
“What does that matter...”
Stella was speechless. A reason so powerful blocked her path.
"What's the use of you filing for divorce?"
She felt even more defeated because Kendrick's words made sense to her.
"There's no way it'll be accepted."
'What...?'
Stella was clearly a sick person. Even if she filed for divorce from the royal family, it would likely be dismissed if Kendrick revealed her self-harm. The Adrian family, with its friendly relationship with the royal family, held considerable power.
Stella was even more heartbroken because she knew why Kendrick wouldn't let her go. Kendrick was possessive, to the point where he subtly made Stella feel alone.
‘This guy is just...’
He says he can't break up with Stella because of his honor, but his feelings are different.
'He's possessive. Adrian has never lost anything of his own.'
Stella was devoted to the one she longed to be loved by. She had waited for him endlessly. Kendrick probably didn't want to lose her. What was even more ridiculous was that Kendrick didn't seem to recognize his possessiveness. He didn't even seem to think he possessed Stella. A sigh was heard. Stella lifted her gaze from the carpet.
"Let's stop talking about this now."
He spoke coldly and turned away. But Stella could tell. That feeling, that love, wasn't what Kendrick had.
'It's just greed that you don't want to lose.'
No, maybe he still had feelings for her. But before Stella died, 27-year-old Kendrick didn't love her.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear it either."
If he had any feelings left, he wouldn't have acted like that. There was no way he could ignore Stella's crying, complaining of pain. At some point, Kendrick started to ignore Stella's faking illness and self-harm, and the more he did, the more miserable she became. She felt like she was nothing to him anymore.
Bam.
The door is closed.
Living alone in this room was so familiar and so tiresome.
'I want to run away.'
For a while, Stella had to live as she remembered. Spending hours alone in bed, Kendrick returning at night to talk to her as a couple. A life with no one else to talk to.
‘I’m not in my right mind, so I can’t file for divorce...’
But her thoughts were different than before. She tried to push aside the emotions that were slowly flowing out and think rationally. As she did so, she gradually accepted reality.
'Kendrick is flawless.'
Stella had no valid grounds for divorce. Kendrick hadn't yet committed an affair or committed domestic violence. Despite not having committed such a crime, Stella was unhappy by his side. She died a difficult death. Unfortunately, indifference isn't a crime.
'Then what should I do?'
Stella raised her head. A spacious, empty bedroom came into view. It looked much the same as before she died. Half of Stella's belongings were mixed with half Kendrick's: Kendrick's wardrobe, Stella's bookshelf, Kendrick's favorite chair, Stella's dressing table. She threw off the covers and stood up.
'Let's go there.'
Stella thought of her own space. A place she hadn't visited since her marriage.
Dalgrak.
While Kendrick was out, Stella took out two vials and looked at them alternately. The love potion was a vibrant pink and purple, while the other had a white glow.
'It would be best to hide this first.'
The magical substance in the white bottle was truly a last resort. She initially kept it in a drawer, but her bedroom was a space she shared with Kendrick. She needed a safer place.
'Study!'
Stella's study had been neglected for some time.
'Why haven't I been to the study all this time?'
Stella suddenly remembered the reason. It was loneliness. Wanting to see Kendrick even a little more, she stayed stuck in her room instead of going to the study. A small sigh leaked out. As she steadied her slender legs and walked toward the study, she heard a voice behind her.
"Stella, where are you going?"
A voice that counts the days in a kind tone.
“...Sia?”
Sia looked Stella up and down. It suddenly occurred to her that Sia was of royal blood. A fact that had only been revealed before, just before Stella's death. Sia probably still didn't know the secret of her birth. Stella opened her lips slightly, then closed them again. Then she smiled.
"Do I need your permission to go to the study?"
"Oh, I thought Mr. Kendrick might be worried again."
Stella stared at Sia quietly. Thinking of her was a complicated experience. But it wasn't entirely distasteful. She began to see things she hadn't seen before. She was no different from Stella. She was an orphanage child, adopted by her parents out of necessity.
"I'm going to read a book for the first time in a while, so tell my husband not to disturb me."
Stella passed Sia like that. And then she thought.
'I don't want to fight with that kid again in this life.'
“Didn’t things get better after you got married?”
But Kendrick didn't seem to be there yet. Judging by his desperate clinging to Stella, Kendrick had always been a man desperate for answers. What more could he do to stop her eyes from trembling? Stella found Kendrick's eyes, filled with passion, amusing.
'Will telling you the reason make any difference?'
We all knew how things changed over time. Kendrick increasingly distrusted Stella. His interest and affection waned. Yet, like a good husband, he instilled hope in Stella with sweet words.
'Even if I tell you why I'm sad.'
Before her regression, it wasn't that she didn't try, though her methods were crooked. She had clearly expressed her struggles because of Sia and tried to explain why seeing her was uncomfortable.
'You won't change anyway.'
But it was Kendrick who treated Stella like a child.
"Yes. Just take a rest."
Stella still didn't answer. Kendrick seemed to have given up on hearing her answer. He walked away from Stella with a weary look on his face, adjusting his tie. Stella was used to this situation. Whenever Stella was sick, Kendrick would rush over, and when she came to, he would go back to work as if nothing had happened.
'That back view.'
She always wished Kendrick would stay by her side a little longer, Stella thought, watching Kendrick's back.
'So am I still 20 now?'
She can feel air flowing in and out of her lungs, and she can blink her eyes.
'It was the first time I attempted suicide after getting married.'
She doesn't remember exactly, but things went like this the first time she attempted suicide after getting married.
"Stella, if you need anything, just let me know."
That's right. That line was familiar. Indeed, Kendrick provided everything she needed: expensive clothes, perfume, and the like. But material things couldn't heal Stella's aching heart. Stella longed to spend time with Kendrick, and he was always busy. He was a man with many things more important than his wife.
"I'll do anything."
‘I’ll do anything...?’
At twenty, she might have liked Kendrick for being so kind to her. But Stella wasn't the Stella she'd been. Now, there was only one thing she wanted from Kendrick.
"Kendrick, I have a favor to ask."
His body, which had been heading towards the door, returned to Stella.
"What?"
The woman who always waited for him, lying in bed. No matter how much effort he put in, she was still in pain and deeply wounded. Her purple hair hung carelessly, and she looked at him with sad eyes. She spoke.
"Please divorce me."
Kendrick chuckled, as if he found it absurd. He thought she was just making a pointless joke after coming back from the dead.
"Stella, speak sense."
Stella lay limp, like a fallen red leaf. He took in her appearance carefully.
"Are you in your right mind?"
Kendrick drew the line as if he had nothing more to hear.
"If you're just trying to get my attention, then stop. It's not fun."
'I'm more sane now than I've ever been.'
Stella thought resolutely. Lying in bed, wearing a hospital gown and with an IV drip, her resolve was unwavering, though it didn't show on the outside.
'I want to leave this man.'
Moreover.
'I don't want to repeat the same life.'
Even though her throat was weak, she spoke clearly.
"I'm not trying to get your attention."
She could see Kendrick's eyes wavering.
"I really want to stop living with you."
***
Stella's divorce request was denied. Kendrick didn't even listen to her.
'I thought you'd think positively if I told you I wanted a divorce.'
Stella laughed.
"Is it because I haven't lost interest in you yet? Or, ah."
She thinks she knows why Kendrick reacted this way.
- If you want my attention, then stop.
'You probably know I still like you.'
Or maybe you're just talking crazy.
Stella couldn't stand to see Kendrick delusional. So, to convey her true feelings, she brought up the topic of divorce once again.
"Do you think divorce is easy?"
Stella's divorce attempt failed miserably.
"You are a sick person. You have a history of mental illness."
“What does that matter...”
Stella was speechless. A reason so powerful blocked her path.
"What's the use of you filing for divorce?"
She felt even more defeated because Kendrick's words made sense to her.
"There's no way it'll be accepted."
'What...?'
Stella was clearly a sick person. Even if she filed for divorce from the royal family, it would likely be dismissed if Kendrick revealed her self-harm. The Adrian family, with its friendly relationship with the royal family, held considerable power.
Stella was even more heartbroken because she knew why Kendrick wouldn't let her go. Kendrick was possessive, to the point where he subtly made Stella feel alone.
‘This guy is just...’
He says he can't break up with Stella because of his honor, but his feelings are different.
'He's possessive. Adrian has never lost anything of his own.'
Stella was devoted to the one she longed to be loved by. She had waited for him endlessly. Kendrick probably didn't want to lose her. What was even more ridiculous was that Kendrick didn't seem to recognize his possessiveness. He didn't even seem to think he possessed Stella. A sigh was heard. Stella lifted her gaze from the carpet.
"Let's stop talking about this now."
He spoke coldly and turned away. But Stella could tell. That feeling, that love, wasn't what Kendrick had.
'It's just greed that you don't want to lose.'
No, maybe he still had feelings for her. But before Stella died, 27-year-old Kendrick didn't love her.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear it either."
If he had any feelings left, he wouldn't have acted like that. There was no way he could ignore Stella's crying, complaining of pain. At some point, Kendrick started to ignore Stella's faking illness and self-harm, and the more he did, the more miserable she became. She felt like she was nothing to him anymore.
Bam.
The door is closed.
Living alone in this room was so familiar and so tiresome.
'I want to run away.'
For a while, Stella had to live as she remembered. Spending hours alone in bed, Kendrick returning at night to talk to her as a couple. A life with no one else to talk to.
‘I’m not in my right mind, so I can’t file for divorce...’
But her thoughts were different than before. She tried to push aside the emotions that were slowly flowing out and think rationally. As she did so, she gradually accepted reality.
'Kendrick is flawless.'
Stella had no valid grounds for divorce. Kendrick hadn't yet committed an affair or committed domestic violence. Despite not having committed such a crime, Stella was unhappy by his side. She died a difficult death. Unfortunately, indifference isn't a crime.
'Then what should I do?'
Stella raised her head. A spacious, empty bedroom came into view. It looked much the same as before she died. Half of Stella's belongings were mixed with half Kendrick's: Kendrick's wardrobe, Stella's bookshelf, Kendrick's favorite chair, Stella's dressing table. She threw off the covers and stood up.
'Let's go there.'
Stella thought of her own space. A place she hadn't visited since her marriage.
Dalgrak.
While Kendrick was out, Stella took out two vials and looked at them alternately. The love potion was a vibrant pink and purple, while the other had a white glow.
'It would be best to hide this first.'
The magical substance in the white bottle was truly a last resort. She initially kept it in a drawer, but her bedroom was a space she shared with Kendrick. She needed a safer place.
'Study!'
Stella's study had been neglected for some time.
'Why haven't I been to the study all this time?'
Stella suddenly remembered the reason. It was loneliness. Wanting to see Kendrick even a little more, she stayed stuck in her room instead of going to the study. A small sigh leaked out. As she steadied her slender legs and walked toward the study, she heard a voice behind her.
"Stella, where are you going?"
A voice that counts the days in a kind tone.
“...Sia?”
Sia looked Stella up and down. It suddenly occurred to her that Sia was of royal blood. A fact that had only been revealed before, just before Stella's death. Sia probably still didn't know the secret of her birth. Stella opened her lips slightly, then closed them again. Then she smiled.
"Do I need your permission to go to the study?"
"Oh, I thought Mr. Kendrick might be worried again."
Stella stared at Sia quietly. Thinking of her was a complicated experience. But it wasn't entirely distasteful. She began to see things she hadn't seen before. She was no different from Stella. She was an orphanage child, adopted by her parents out of necessity.
"I'm going to read a book for the first time in a while, so tell my husband not to disturb me."
Stella passed Sia like that. And then she thought.
'I don't want to fight with that kid again in this life.'
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