From then on, she didn't feign illness or intentionally aggravate it. She studied harder than anyone else, striving to catch up with Skyle. She enjoyed reading, and literature was particularly interesting among the various subjects. The more she learned, the more she yearned to write, but she had to shake her head.
'What kind of writing is this about my situation?'
To please her parents, she had to get good grades first. Being a writer meant starving if you didn't become famous. Even famous writers didn't write for themselves; they were assigned to a particular family and wrote for them. In other words, it wasn't a career that would satisfy the arrogant Duke and Duchess of Lanedict.
'But books are fun.'
Perhaps because she had no one to rely on in real life, Stella enjoyed reading literature and daydreaming. Reading made her feel like she was immersed in another world, and for a time, she was able to let go of her inferiority complex toward Skyle. However, Stella's reliance on books didn't last long.
"I didn't get first place again."
It was because of her report card. She had perfect grades in literature, but she made a mistake on one question each in Gore and Science. Even with this score, she was in the top ten in the entire school, but she knew it wouldn't satisfy the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict.
'And my grades are dropping too.'
Stella had been sick with a fever for a month and missed school. It was only natural that her grades had dropped, as she hadn't been able to attend classes properly. The thought of showing this to her parents choked her.
"Stella, did you hear the news? Skyle won first place again. I heard he even won the grand prize at the Academy-wide martial arts competition this time."
"Yes?"
"Originally, Anton Geron was called a swordsmanship genius. But it seems he can't do it against Skyle, who is a natural-born talent."
She pretended nothing happened, but as expected, she felt miserable. Even after sending her report card to her parents through the door, the lump in her throat didn't go away. So she put the book down.
'It won't work.'
She felt like she couldn't bear this anymore. Shd planned to go to the Duke and Duchess and beg them that this wouldn't happen again and that she would be more careful next time. She went to their bedroom to find them, but she could hear their conversation leaking out through the open door.
"It was a mistake to bring Stella into the house in the first place, honey. Even though she's half your blood, she's still far from Skyle."
Again. It was said that she was worse than Skyle. Furthermore, there were stories that Stella, as she was now, couldn't understand. Half of her blood was from the Duke?
“You're telling me. Stella costs a fortune, too. We should've adopted that girl back then. She's been adopted by the Eastern Viscount's household now and is turning that family around. She showed promise from the start. Unlike Stella.”
'What kind of writing is this about my situation?'
To please her parents, she had to get good grades first. Being a writer meant starving if you didn't become famous. Even famous writers didn't write for themselves; they were assigned to a particular family and wrote for them. In other words, it wasn't a career that would satisfy the arrogant Duke and Duchess of Lanedict.
'But books are fun.'
Perhaps because she had no one to rely on in real life, Stella enjoyed reading literature and daydreaming. Reading made her feel like she was immersed in another world, and for a time, she was able to let go of her inferiority complex toward Skyle. However, Stella's reliance on books didn't last long.
"I didn't get first place again."
It was because of her report card. She had perfect grades in literature, but she made a mistake on one question each in Gore and Science. Even with this score, she was in the top ten in the entire school, but she knew it wouldn't satisfy the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict.
'And my grades are dropping too.'
Stella had been sick with a fever for a month and missed school. It was only natural that her grades had dropped, as she hadn't been able to attend classes properly. The thought of showing this to her parents choked her.
"Stella, did you hear the news? Skyle won first place again. I heard he even won the grand prize at the Academy-wide martial arts competition this time."
"Yes?"
"Originally, Anton Geron was called a swordsmanship genius. But it seems he can't do it against Skyle, who is a natural-born talent."
She pretended nothing happened, but as expected, she felt miserable. Even after sending her report card to her parents through the door, the lump in her throat didn't go away. So she put the book down.
'It won't work.'
She felt like she couldn't bear this anymore. Shd planned to go to the Duke and Duchess and beg them that this wouldn't happen again and that she would be more careful next time. She went to their bedroom to find them, but she could hear their conversation leaking out through the open door.
"It was a mistake to bring Stella into the house in the first place, honey. Even though she's half your blood, she's still far from Skyle."
Again. It was said that she was worse than Skyle. Furthermore, there were stories that Stella, as she was now, couldn't understand. Half of her blood was from the Duke?
“You're telling me. Stella costs a fortune, too. We should've adopted that girl back then. She's been adopted by the Eastern Viscount's household now and is turning that family around. She showed promise from the start. Unlike Stella.”
She clenched her fist. If she didn't do this, she felt like she was going to burst into tears.
"Ah, that pretty girl with blonde hair and green eyes?"
Stella clenched her fists. She was wrong. It was impossible to hold back her tears.
- You're nothing but a nobody.
'I was fake.'
She understood why, unlike Skyle, there were no childhood photos. And she realized why the Duchess's eyes sparkled even brighter when she looked at Skyle than when she looked at Stella.
"Hah."
Stella covered her mouth and sobbed. She turned around, fearing the Duke and Duchess would find out if she continued like this. Skyle was standing there. He stared blankly at Stella, tears streaming down her cheeks. She glared at Skyle.
"Stella."
He called her softly. A being she could never reach, no matter how hard she tried. Her incomplete self, the perfect status she could never possess. All her resentment was directed at Skyle.
"Don't call my name."
Skyle had everything—his parents' love, ability, physical strength, and popularity. Stella, on the other hand, had nothing. Aside from her frail body, she was an insignificant person, unable to even command her parents' attention. She truly hated Skyle. She couldn't stop glaring at him, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Don't cry, Stella."
It was strange. Stella was the one who was grieving at the news of her illegitimate child, but Skyle's expression changed to one that looked as if he was about to cry. His expression contorted, and his eyes shook.
"You call me nobody?"
But Stella pretended not to notice Skyle's expression. Her pride had been crushed. She didn't want him to see her crying.
"Skyle, you're not my brother."
Stella left with her last words and turned around.
"So don't worry about whether I cry or not."
There was no sound of Skyle following. Stella buried her face in the pillow and let the remaining tears flow. She sobbed, then whimpered, then sobbed again. This cycle continued for hours. She felt a hand stroking her back. She assumed it was her nanny, watching her and trying to comfort her.
"Nanny, it's okay. I want to be alone."
But the nanny didn't stop patting Stella's back. She patted her back, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Stella cried freely.
***
Stella worked like crazy. Even if she couldn't beat Skyle right away, she had to at least get first place in her grade. That way, she could face her parents.
"Stella, are you okay? Your face looks haggard."
Until then, she had strived to gain and maintain her parents' attention, but no longer. There was no guarantee that the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict, who valued status and ability, would not abandon Stella.
"My face?"
She had to work hard to avoid being abandoned. Her need to get good grades became even more desperate.
"I feel like you're going to die soon. You're going to collapse at this rate. Take it easy on your studies."
Stella shook her head. Her friend next to her still looked at her with concern, so she pretended nothing was wrong.
"It's okay, it's just this much."
She decided to stop making excuses about being weaker than Skyle. Whenever she felt tired, she sat at her desk. She even skipped meals to study, knowing that eating would fill her stomach and make her sleepy.
"Huh? Stella. You have a nosebleed."
"Nosebleed?"
Neglecting her health had seriously damaged her body. Stella touched the area around her nose at her friend's words. Dark red blood stained her hand.
"It's true."
She plugged her nose with a tissue. The nosebleed stopped quickly, but continued several times a day. Soon, she became anemic. Stella's condition worsened. But she never let go of her pen.
"I have to."
'I can't just let it go just because my nose is bleeding.'
Stella was reaching her limit. No, she had surpassed her limit. Anemia, lack of sleep, and malnutrition were taking over her body. Stella lost consciousness. When she regained consciousness, it was the night before the exam.
"No. If you do this, you won't be able to do well on the test."
She became anxious at the thought that if she didn't get first place in this exam, she would be abandoned by her parents.
‘If you want to do well on the test...’
She took extreme measures.
"I can't help it."
She wrote down cheat sheets all night long.
***
"You have a test today, right? Take good care of yourself. Don't tarnish the name of the Duke of Lanedict."
"Yes, I understand, Father."
Stella bowed her head in greeting.
"Skyle, you always do well, don't you? Stella? I just need to watch you. You won't disappoint me this time, will you?"
"Yes, Mother."
She clutched the cheat sheet she'd hidden in her pocket. Her heart pounded.
'Just this once...'
She intended to resort to dishonest means just this once. She knew it was wrong. She felt a deep sense of guilt. But the pressure of being abandoned by her parents weighed on her more than her guilt. It was a time of great fear and trembling.
"I will definitely get first place."
She greeted him, hiding her hands behind her back, which were trembling with nervousness.
"Uh?"
As she was about to board the carriage, a cheat sheet slipped out of her pocket. Stella quickly picked it up, but Skyle had already noticed it.
'We're in big trouble.'
Her body froze awkwardly. If Skyle found out, it was over. Not only would her parents find out, but she'd also be the butt of public ridicule. If she wasn't careful, this could even lead to her being abandoned. Stella spoke in a trembling voice.
"Oh, it's nothing."
Skyle met his eyes with a strange expression.
"What?"
Her heart raced at the thought of her mistake, of her making excuses without even being asked. But Skyle's expression remained unchanged. She was quite relieved to see him climb into the carriage as if he hadn't seen anything.
'Thank goodness he didn't see it.'
Stella's cheating journey wasn't smooth. No, it was a complete failure. To begin with, Stella wasn't the kind of person who would casually commit such a sly act.
"Stella, what are you doing? Bring that here right now."
Her unusually alert appearance, looking around and sweating profusely, quickly caught the teacher's eye.
"Why did you do something like this? You're failing this exam. You're ashamed to face Duke Lanedict!"
And the news of Stella's creation of the cheat sheet quickly spread throughout the narrow aristocratic circle. Duke Lanedict felt an unbearable sense of shame. Their philosophy was to educate their children with rigor. Therefore, if they didn't give her attention, they wouldn't, and they never beat her. But this time, it was different.
"Oh, Father. I'm sorry. I was wrong. Ugh."
Stella was kicked and spanked in front of all the servants. Skyle was next to her. Skyle's face, furrowed with displeasure, lingered in her mind. Stella squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. She didn't want him to see her like this. She was more afraid of the servants' gazes than of the pain in her leg. And even more terrified of their gazes was the glaring presence of the Duke and Duchess. She didn't want to be abandoned, even if it meant being beaten more. Yes, as long as she wasn't abandoned by them.
"Father, stop it."
Skyle's voice was heard from the side, but the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict didn't give up.
"Someone like you is my daughter. You are a disgrace to our family. It was wrong of me to acknowledge someone like you as my daughter in the first place."
Stella knelt down and begged.
"Never again, never again."
She let go of all pride. She was okay with being called Skyle's Shadow, and she didn't mind being beaten. She just wanted to avoid being kicked out without the name "Lanedict."The illegitimate Duke's daughter." It was the perfect name for abandonment.
"I did it because I didn't want to disappoint you. I didn't want to disappoint Mother and Father."
She struggled to confess her true feelings. She raised her head, hoping that perhaps someone would feel sorry for her and forgive her for what she had done.
“Huh... right.”
But they were ruthless. They roughly pulled Stella away from the shack, holding her by the leg and clinging to her sadly. They looked down at her as if they were looking at trash. It was dizzying.
"Such a trivial reason. Your stupid mind is not going anywhere."
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