(83) Why am I (2)
“In the East, it’s almost hunting season, right?”
Ariana nodded at Isaac's words.
"They say the hunting season opens on October 7th. Apparently, because of the favorable climate in the East, it starts a little later than the Empire."
"If it's the opening ceremony, His Excellency the Eastern Lord and the Duke will go hunting. We'll be able to see their skills."
Isaac smiled as if he was looking forward to it.
"Isabelle said Uncle Fellowes always brought home the biggest game. Beyond the forest and into the mountains, there's a no-go area with many dangerous animals, and Uncle Fellowes always went in there to hunt."
“Is something like a bear coming out?!”
“I guess so.”
“I’m sure you’re looking forward to it. This hunting season, I’m sure Princess Consort will receive the most game among all the women of the same age!
“There’s Isabelle and Princess Wiona, so who knows?”
When the hunt begins at the opening ceremony, the men enter the hunting grounds with their weapons, and the women wait for the men at the entrance to the hunting grounds.
After a short period of one day or a long period of three days, the men return with their prey and give it as a gift to the woman they have chosen.
The woman who receives the best game that year is treated as the 'Shining Woman of the Year'.
When a woman of marriageable age becomes the 'Shining Woman of the Year', the number of suitors increases several times.
“Oh, Isabelle.”
Isaac's face paled at the mention of Isabelle's name. He smiled bitterly and said,
“She’s a difficult young lady to deal with. It’s difficult.”
Isaac, who seemed to get along well with everyone, surprisingly found Isabelle quite difficult. Apparently uncomfortable with her casual language, he always avoided her.
"Anyway, Princess Consort, Sini will soon recover enough to enjoy a walk."
Isaac quickly changed the subject, as if he didn't want to talk about Isabelle for too long.
“Is that so?! Is it okay to move now?”
"Yes. Her bent bones have straightened, and her strength has recovered, so she should be able to walk around in the sunlight without any problems. If she gradually increases her movement time like this, she'll be able to walk around like a normal person before the end of the year."
"Thank you so much, Isaac. Without you, I wouldn't have had an answer. How can I ever repay you for this kindness?"
Isaac stared at Ariana with a strange expression, then looked away.
“I think it would be best if you didn’t show that expression in front of any man...”
“That expression? What kind of expression did I make?”
Ariana, truly unsure, gently touched her face with her hand. Isaac shook his head.
"You don't have to know. What worries me about Sini is that she's a Pagan."
Ariana's eyes widened.
“How did you know?”
As soon as he returned to the East, Lord Russell began to work on fabricating Sini's birth.
Thus, a rumor spread that the golden-eyed girl Ariana had rescued from the slave market was, contrary to popular belief, actually a mixed-blood of the Luano and Fab tribes, a small tribe in the southeastern region of the continent.
She didn't even tell Isaac that Shini was Paganus.
"Paganus's organ structure is somewhat different from that of an ordinary person. Their blood flow is also different. While most people wouldn't know, someone with advanced medical knowledge would be hard-pressed to fool them."
“Ah... I see.”
"Those who aren't of Paganus' bloodline gain access to the power of darkness through rituals, but those born with their bloodline can use it from birth. Sini, too, must possess this talent."
Isaac looked back at Ariana with concern.
“Do you know what blood talent is?”
“I know. The power to eat the raw heart of a living being and use its power.”
"Yes. That power seems incredibly convenient, but the more you use it, the more it consumes you in darkness. The more you use it, the more you lose yourself and become driven by darkness."
"Yes."
"I won't ask what you intend to use her power for. But if you let her use it too often, she'll be drawn to the darkness and one day she'll stab you in the back."
Ariana smiled faintly.
“I won’t let her use that power.”
“If that’s the case, then that’s good.”
The two stopped in front of a blue-roofed pergola. They sat on a bench in the pergola and looked up at the night sky beyond the curtains.
"Princess Consort, Sini's treatment is complete, so I'll return to the East around the end of the hunting season opening ceremony. The bloodshed should have died down by now."
Bloodyshed.
Ariana turned to Isaac at the unexpected words. He had an uncharacteristically bitter look in his eyes.
"Did something bad happen in the North? Little Duke Hern also said something urgent came up and went back, didn't he?"
"Yeah, well. It happens all the time, but I think it's a bit bigger this time."
“What is going on?”
She didn't expect an answer. Isaac couldn't possibly tell Princess the East about the affairs of the North.
But Isaac spoke without a hint of hesitation.
“Actually. On the way back from finishing the trial of the Princess Consort in the empire, there was an ambush.”
"Ambush."
"It was Paganus. Honestly, it was a bit dangerous. Your Excellency almost died trying to save me, and I almost died trying to avoid being a burden to Your Excellency..."
Her heart sank.
To Ariana, Cyrus was someone who would not be shaken by anything, who would not crumble under any danger.
She's always thought of him as someone who can easily spot ambushes, and even if he does spot them too late, he can easily jump over them.
But it wasn't.
Come to think of it, Cyrus is just another ordinary human being. It's only natural that he isn't immune to all danger, nor is he immune to it.
Cyrus was also a human who was attacked by enemies, injured, and even killed.
"Because it's a shortcut known only to those in the know, and since there are people who know we'll be passing through it around that time, it means there's a traitor in the North. His Excellency found him and began a purge, and Andrei heard the news and returned."
"Ah..."
"I guess they stirred things up a bit this time. There was a lot of noise for a while as they were filtering out the people they wanted to weed out, but I received a letter saying things have quieted down now."
A bitter smile appeared on Isaac's lips.
"There's a Marquis of Brown. He's been a supporter of His Excellency since the time he was on the run. Now that he's betrayed him, the loss will be significant. I heard he purged the Marquis of Brown and his entire family."
Marquis Brown.
Ariana opened her eyes wide and looked back at Isaac.
“Are you referring to Marquis Hymel Brown?”
“Oh, how did you know? Was it that famous?”
Her heart was pounding.
Marquis Hymel Brown was the one who secretly contacted the Third Prince when he was restraining the Northern Territory. That was five years later, and Marquis Brown was still alive and well.
'I came back to life and acted differently than before, so he must be dead already.'
As Cyrus traveled to the Empire to help Ariana, it was soon revealed that Marquis Brown was in league with Paganus and was aiming for the position of Northern Lord.
'As expected, my actions are bringing about a major change. I have to assume the future I know is nonexistent.'
She had expected the future to change a lot, but her heart ached at the fact that one of the big pillars had disappeared without a sound.
She was anxious about what trouble might arise next, but she was even more worried about Cyrus, even though she knew he wasn't weak enough to warrant Ariana's concern.
“The Northern Lord must be very upset because someone close to him has died.”
"Well..."
Isaac tilted his head to the side.
"After his predecessor passed away, there were so many people who wanted to become the Northern Lord. The position of commanding knights who could use ice magic was truly attractive. Even though it's said to have gotten weaker with each generation, the only people who can use magic now are the Northern Lords."
“Yes.”
"His Excellency father's younger brothers, his uncles, tried to kill him. He fled and then sought refuge with someone he trusted, who betrayed him. Then, as he continued his escape, he met someone he trusted, and they tried to betray him again... After enduring countless near-death experiences, he finally joined us."
She heard Cyrus tell stories like that before, but she didn't realize he'd overcome so many crises. Cyrus was so calm when he talked about his past; it seemed like it didn't matter at all.
"At that time, he seemed to have completely changed, as if he had truly changed. His eyes were dead, and he seemed to distrust no one. He couldn't sleep, was always on guard, and refused to accept any of our kindnesses. He even refused to apply the medicine my father used. He thought it was poison."
“...”
"Over time, he's come to accept the kindness of others, but it's not because he trusts them. It's because he has the power to respond even if it's not genuine. He doesn't trust anyone."
“Isaac too?”
“Yes, me too. He thought Andrei or I might have been involved in the last attack.”
Ariana thought of Cyrus as she heard Isaac grumble about whether that made sense.
-“I killed those who betrayed me. But I trusted those who were loyal to me.”
Isaac was upset that Cyrus didn't trust them either, but Ariana didn't think so.
Cyrus trusts those he trusts. However, when trouble arises, he suspects, filters out, and mercilessly kills those he trusts. Unwilling to be betrayed any longer, he simply dismisses past feelings without recalling them.
Ariana made a decision as she came back to life.
She vowed a hundred, a thousand times, to love no one and to strive to be loved by no one. She vowed to live without trusting anyone.
But now that she has become the Princess of the same name and is loved by many, Ariana, despite her painful experiences and determination, is once again beginning to believe in the affection shown by others.
Is it any different from Cyrus?
He is a human who has been ambushed and almost died, so how can he turn his back on good people just because he keeps renewing his resolve?
She guesses he's just trying to be strong. He's just trying to not show it.
Like her.
Cyrus's face, always relaxed and seemingly at ease with everything, came to mind. He quietly resolved Ariana's problems with a cold, unfeeling gaze. Contrary to rumors, he also knew how to joke around.
She was curious.
What are you thinking right now? Are you losing sleep over doubts, worried about another danger? Are you, like me, haunted by nightmares from the past, from which you fled?
And.
Why am I so worried about you, who only intends to use me?
“In the East, it’s almost hunting season, right?”
Ariana nodded at Isaac's words.
"They say the hunting season opens on October 7th. Apparently, because of the favorable climate in the East, it starts a little later than the Empire."
"If it's the opening ceremony, His Excellency the Eastern Lord and the Duke will go hunting. We'll be able to see their skills."
Isaac smiled as if he was looking forward to it.
"Isabelle said Uncle Fellowes always brought home the biggest game. Beyond the forest and into the mountains, there's a no-go area with many dangerous animals, and Uncle Fellowes always went in there to hunt."
“Is something like a bear coming out?!”
“I guess so.”
“I’m sure you’re looking forward to it. This hunting season, I’m sure Princess Consort will receive the most game among all the women of the same age!
“There’s Isabelle and Princess Wiona, so who knows?”
When the hunt begins at the opening ceremony, the men enter the hunting grounds with their weapons, and the women wait for the men at the entrance to the hunting grounds.
After a short period of one day or a long period of three days, the men return with their prey and give it as a gift to the woman they have chosen.
The woman who receives the best game that year is treated as the 'Shining Woman of the Year'.
When a woman of marriageable age becomes the 'Shining Woman of the Year', the number of suitors increases several times.
“Oh, Isabelle.”
Isaac's face paled at the mention of Isabelle's name. He smiled bitterly and said,
“She’s a difficult young lady to deal with. It’s difficult.”
Isaac, who seemed to get along well with everyone, surprisingly found Isabelle quite difficult. Apparently uncomfortable with her casual language, he always avoided her.
"Anyway, Princess Consort, Sini will soon recover enough to enjoy a walk."
Isaac quickly changed the subject, as if he didn't want to talk about Isabelle for too long.
“Is that so?! Is it okay to move now?”
"Yes. Her bent bones have straightened, and her strength has recovered, so she should be able to walk around in the sunlight without any problems. If she gradually increases her movement time like this, she'll be able to walk around like a normal person before the end of the year."
"Thank you so much, Isaac. Without you, I wouldn't have had an answer. How can I ever repay you for this kindness?"
Isaac stared at Ariana with a strange expression, then looked away.
“I think it would be best if you didn’t show that expression in front of any man...”
“That expression? What kind of expression did I make?”
Ariana, truly unsure, gently touched her face with her hand. Isaac shook his head.
"You don't have to know. What worries me about Sini is that she's a Pagan."
Ariana's eyes widened.
“How did you know?”
As soon as he returned to the East, Lord Russell began to work on fabricating Sini's birth.
Thus, a rumor spread that the golden-eyed girl Ariana had rescued from the slave market was, contrary to popular belief, actually a mixed-blood of the Luano and Fab tribes, a small tribe in the southeastern region of the continent.
She didn't even tell Isaac that Shini was Paganus.
"Paganus's organ structure is somewhat different from that of an ordinary person. Their blood flow is also different. While most people wouldn't know, someone with advanced medical knowledge would be hard-pressed to fool them."
“Ah... I see.”
"Those who aren't of Paganus' bloodline gain access to the power of darkness through rituals, but those born with their bloodline can use it from birth. Sini, too, must possess this talent."
Isaac looked back at Ariana with concern.
“Do you know what blood talent is?”
“I know. The power to eat the raw heart of a living being and use its power.”
"Yes. That power seems incredibly convenient, but the more you use it, the more it consumes you in darkness. The more you use it, the more you lose yourself and become driven by darkness."
"Yes."
"I won't ask what you intend to use her power for. But if you let her use it too often, she'll be drawn to the darkness and one day she'll stab you in the back."
Ariana smiled faintly.
“I won’t let her use that power.”
“If that’s the case, then that’s good.”
The two stopped in front of a blue-roofed pergola. They sat on a bench in the pergola and looked up at the night sky beyond the curtains.
"Princess Consort, Sini's treatment is complete, so I'll return to the East around the end of the hunting season opening ceremony. The bloodshed should have died down by now."
Bloodyshed.
Ariana turned to Isaac at the unexpected words. He had an uncharacteristically bitter look in his eyes.
"Did something bad happen in the North? Little Duke Hern also said something urgent came up and went back, didn't he?"
"Yeah, well. It happens all the time, but I think it's a bit bigger this time."
“What is going on?”
She didn't expect an answer. Isaac couldn't possibly tell Princess the East about the affairs of the North.
But Isaac spoke without a hint of hesitation.
“Actually. On the way back from finishing the trial of the Princess Consort in the empire, there was an ambush.”
"Ambush."
"It was Paganus. Honestly, it was a bit dangerous. Your Excellency almost died trying to save me, and I almost died trying to avoid being a burden to Your Excellency..."
Her heart sank.
To Ariana, Cyrus was someone who would not be shaken by anything, who would not crumble under any danger.
She's always thought of him as someone who can easily spot ambushes, and even if he does spot them too late, he can easily jump over them.
But it wasn't.
Come to think of it, Cyrus is just another ordinary human being. It's only natural that he isn't immune to all danger, nor is he immune to it.
Cyrus was also a human who was attacked by enemies, injured, and even killed.
"Because it's a shortcut known only to those in the know, and since there are people who know we'll be passing through it around that time, it means there's a traitor in the North. His Excellency found him and began a purge, and Andrei heard the news and returned."
"Ah..."
"I guess they stirred things up a bit this time. There was a lot of noise for a while as they were filtering out the people they wanted to weed out, but I received a letter saying things have quieted down now."
A bitter smile appeared on Isaac's lips.
"There's a Marquis of Brown. He's been a supporter of His Excellency since the time he was on the run. Now that he's betrayed him, the loss will be significant. I heard he purged the Marquis of Brown and his entire family."
Marquis Brown.
Ariana opened her eyes wide and looked back at Isaac.
“Are you referring to Marquis Hymel Brown?”
“Oh, how did you know? Was it that famous?”
Her heart was pounding.
Marquis Hymel Brown was the one who secretly contacted the Third Prince when he was restraining the Northern Territory. That was five years later, and Marquis Brown was still alive and well.
'I came back to life and acted differently than before, so he must be dead already.'
As Cyrus traveled to the Empire to help Ariana, it was soon revealed that Marquis Brown was in league with Paganus and was aiming for the position of Northern Lord.
'As expected, my actions are bringing about a major change. I have to assume the future I know is nonexistent.'
She had expected the future to change a lot, but her heart ached at the fact that one of the big pillars had disappeared without a sound.
She was anxious about what trouble might arise next, but she was even more worried about Cyrus, even though she knew he wasn't weak enough to warrant Ariana's concern.
“The Northern Lord must be very upset because someone close to him has died.”
"Well..."
Isaac tilted his head to the side.
"After his predecessor passed away, there were so many people who wanted to become the Northern Lord. The position of commanding knights who could use ice magic was truly attractive. Even though it's said to have gotten weaker with each generation, the only people who can use magic now are the Northern Lords."
“Yes.”
"His Excellency father's younger brothers, his uncles, tried to kill him. He fled and then sought refuge with someone he trusted, who betrayed him. Then, as he continued his escape, he met someone he trusted, and they tried to betray him again... After enduring countless near-death experiences, he finally joined us."
She heard Cyrus tell stories like that before, but she didn't realize he'd overcome so many crises. Cyrus was so calm when he talked about his past; it seemed like it didn't matter at all.
"At that time, he seemed to have completely changed, as if he had truly changed. His eyes were dead, and he seemed to distrust no one. He couldn't sleep, was always on guard, and refused to accept any of our kindnesses. He even refused to apply the medicine my father used. He thought it was poison."
“...”
"Over time, he's come to accept the kindness of others, but it's not because he trusts them. It's because he has the power to respond even if it's not genuine. He doesn't trust anyone."
“Isaac too?”
“Yes, me too. He thought Andrei or I might have been involved in the last attack.”
Ariana thought of Cyrus as she heard Isaac grumble about whether that made sense.
-“I killed those who betrayed me. But I trusted those who were loyal to me.”
Isaac was upset that Cyrus didn't trust them either, but Ariana didn't think so.
Cyrus trusts those he trusts. However, when trouble arises, he suspects, filters out, and mercilessly kills those he trusts. Unwilling to be betrayed any longer, he simply dismisses past feelings without recalling them.
Ariana made a decision as she came back to life.
She vowed a hundred, a thousand times, to love no one and to strive to be loved by no one. She vowed to live without trusting anyone.
But now that she has become the Princess of the same name and is loved by many, Ariana, despite her painful experiences and determination, is once again beginning to believe in the affection shown by others.
Is it any different from Cyrus?
He is a human who has been ambushed and almost died, so how can he turn his back on good people just because he keeps renewing his resolve?
She guesses he's just trying to be strong. He's just trying to not show it.
Like her.
Cyrus's face, always relaxed and seemingly at ease with everything, came to mind. He quietly resolved Ariana's problems with a cold, unfeeling gaze. Contrary to rumors, he also knew how to joke around.
She was curious.
What are you thinking right now? Are you losing sleep over doubts, worried about another danger? Are you, like me, haunted by nightmares from the past, from which you fled?
And.
Why am I so worried about you, who only intends to use me?
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