(117) Wind in the chest (2)
“What happened between Cyrus and the Princess Consort?”
“If I knew, would I have sent my Princess away like this?”
Andrei frowned, then turned around and galloped back to the main palace on horseback. He reached Cyrus's office in the main palace and handed him a box as he looked out the window.
“The Princess Consort asked me to tell you.”
“Leave it there.”
Andrei put the box down on the desk with a look of displeasure and said.
"I don't know what happened with Princess Consort, but you're going to regret letting her go like this. Her birthday is the day after tomorrow, and she's going to have to spend it on the street."
Cyrus smiled coldly.
“What a fool.”
Andrei clicked his tongue and left the office.
Cyrus slowly turned and picked up the box on the desk. Inside was a neatly folded handkerchief.
Unfolding the handkerchief, he saw an eagle embroidered in black and red, the symbol of the Northern Territory. The eagle, spreading its wings and soaring, seemed as vibrant as life itself.
Ariana, who has nothing missing, even did embroidery well.
Cyrus' name was engraved beneath the eagle.
Cyrus Carha.
When he saw that, it felt like his name was called.
Come to think of it, he never heard his name called by Ariana's voice.
He wanted to run over, stop the carriage, and talk to her.
Call my name.
But he held back. The moment her voice spoke his name, he felt like he couldn't hold on any longer and would let everything go. He felt like he even accepted the thought of her stabbing him in the heart.
What he sees with his eyes, what his heart desires, what he wants to hold with his hands, it seems like it will only be Ariana White, her alone.
Cyrus clutched his handkerchief and gazed out the window at Mount Graten.
'There's a lot to protect.'
He had to protect the northern border that his parents had protected. For that, he was willing to cut off both his arms and both his legs.
Cyrus knew very well how the two of them lived and died.
The countless people living in this northern territory had their eyes set solely on Cyrus. They couldn't allow the northern territory to be shaken by mere, inexplicable emotions.
Anything suspicious should be kicked out.
As always, he just did what he had to do, but why does a cold wind blow through his chest?
After Cyrus put the handkerchief back in the box, he opened the drawer. Inside was a gift he hadn't been able to give to Ariana.
He put the gifts he couldn't give and the ones he received deep inside the drawer and locked it. He hoped his heart would be locked like the drawer.
Unlike the journey to the North, the journey to the East was safe. This was thanks to the knights of the North escorting Ariana's carriage until they reached the capital.
The temperature began to gradually warm up the moment they crossed the border, and by the time they reached the capital, it had become a full-blown spring day.
Before crossing the capital city gates, the knights of the North Realm paid their respects to Ariana and set off for the North Realm.
It wasn't until after they left that she truly felt like she escaped the North. Even after she escaped the North, the lingering, gloomy feeling still lingered in her chest.
“I guess I’ll have to walk from here.”
Catherine was startled by Ariana's words.
“It must be quite far.”
“It’s okay. It’s nice to feel the spring weather after a long time.”
Ariana got out of the carriage.
As she raised her head, the pure blue sky of the East came into view. A beautiful sky with white fluffy clouds drifting by.
Even though she saw such a beautiful sky, her mood didn't improve.
Something very large and solid had completely fallen out, leaving a gaping hole. The wind, blowing ceaselessly through the hole, rustled without moisture.
Ariana sighed softly, straightened her posture, and walked toward the gate. The soldiers who recognized her bowed their heads toward her.
Behind Ariana, Shini, Catherine, and Lanster walked together.
She had barely walked a few steps past the gate when the sound of horse hooves echoed. A massive man was galloping toward her like the wind.
The horse stopped in front of Ariana.
The man got off his horse.
Ariana noticed a familiar cufflink on the man's shirt. One with Ariana's face engraved on it.
The moment he opened his arms and smiled broadly, Ariana almost burst into tears.
Instead of crying, Ariana ran to him and threw herself into his arms. Warm, strong arms wrapped around her.
“Ariana. You’re finally back!”
Only after hearing that deep, deep voice did Ariana realize how much she had missed him. Something warm and tender filled her hollow heart.
It was a very different feeling from the one directed at Cyrus, but it was a similarly sweet and gentle feeling.
Ariana buried her face in his chest, which felt endlessly wide.
“Father, I’m back.”
The East was warm to Ariana as always.
The former lords and their wives welcomed Ariana with tears in their eyes, and Fellowship and Langster also left their work behind and rushed over. Isabelle cried out in a raspy voice, "Where on earth have you been? Do you know how worried I was?" Averaster laughed, saying, "Ariana, you've really grown up. How could I not recognize you?"
Geor watched silently, then met Ariana's eyes and nodded slightly. Ariana nodded in return.
Judging by the dark expression on his face, it seemed that the Duke of Obelius's problem was not well resolved, but it didn't matter.
Ariana returned to her room after a long time in warm weather with her family.
When she was alone, her heart grew cold.
'I need to be more careful from now on.'
Throughout her journey to the East, I pondered what had changed Cyrus. Regardless of how Cyrus felt about Ariana, he was affectionate towards her. He visited her every day and didn't hesitate to spend time with her.
But then suddenly, it changed.
'It was only after he became certain that I knew the future.'
From the time she went to the bowl village and had that conversation.
Cyrus laughed it off when Ariana made a slip of the tongue, but later seemed to change his mind.
'Perhaps he considered it suspicious. Or perhaps he considered it an ominous being, possessing powers that humans cannot possess.'
-“Someone like you should never have been born.”
Suddenly, Rachel's voice, which she had forgotten, came to mind.
She wonders if Cyrus feels the same way. Maybe he thinks the world is better off without someone like her.
After returning to the East, a hole was once again created in her heart that had been filled with warmth.
She didn't blame Cyrus. She was just a foolish girl swayed by his affection and relaxed, which was the price she paid.
Surrounded by those who sought his life his entire life, it was only natural that Cyrus would be suspicious of her suspicious behavior. She would have been the same.
'As expected, I must never let anyone else find out that I died and came back.'
Even Cyrus, who is good at controlling his facial expressions, shows disgust.
'The Northern Lord doesn't know that I died and came back... but his attitude changed after he learned that I possessed a strange power. I'm sure my family did the same.'
Ariana didn't want to see her family turn cold and cold like Cyrus. She hated the loss of the strong hearts that had always given so generously to Ariana.
"Look at this, Ariana. Hasn't he been bragging about it every day since he got it from you? The vassals must have heard him bragging about his gift every time they met."
I remembered what my grandfather, Theodore, had said at dinner, shaking her father, Russell, by the arm. The cufflinks engraved with Ariana's face sparkled.
-“Once, my brother suddenly showed up at a Count's party, and I was wondering what was going on, and then he started bragging about those cufflinks. I was so embarrassed that I got yelled at.”
Russell remained confident despite Langster's grumbling words.
-“If you’re so jealous, why don’t you ask Isabelle or Averaster for it? Why are you clinging to me?”
Ariana was so embarrassed that she was confused.
She didn't know her father would like that gift this much.
It was so embarrassing and warm, so shameful and sweet, she didn't want to lose it.
'At least until I find out how I died and came back to life, I can't let anyone know about this.'
How many times has Ariana lost sleep?
Every time she fell asleep, she was plagued by terrible nightmares.
She became a helpless young girl trapped in the Duke of Bronte's mansion, a pitiful woman who was used enough and then abandoned, and a woman who was burned at the stake after being accused of being a pagan when her reversion was discovered.
Every time she woke up from a nightmare, she felt like this reality, wrapped in a warm blanket, was actually a dream, like a sweet dream she had to escape from the painful reality, so she fumbled with the blanket out of fear and fell into a deep sleep, only to wander through the nightmare again.
Then she had that dream again.
Ariana became Lord Russell White, trapped in his body, seeing what he saw and absorbing his emotions.
In front of him sat his mother, Carradine White, with a dark expression on her face.
“Marriage? Ariana is only 16!”
“Yes. But it’s not completely uncommon for someone to get married at 16.”
"Where among the noble families these days does anyone get married at the age of sixteen? They should be at least eighteen. And besides... Viscount Alfreich? That bastard is over thirty this year!"
“But what can I do? It’s the decision of the Duchess Bronte.”
His heart burned black.
He was heartbroken to learn that his young daughter was marrying a man in his thirties. He wondered if Ariana's feelings were even considered in this marriage.
“I don’t think it’ll work. I have to do it right now...!”
“Russell.”
Carradine called him over, scolding him. Her eyes were stern, but they couldn't completely hide the sadness lurking beneath them.
“There’s nothing we can do. She’s the Princess of Bronte.”
"But..."
“What are you going to say when you get there? Ariana won’t even know your face.”
Oh, I see.
His eyes were darkened by despair.
Countless letters sent, few replies. The sharp words in Rachel's reply came to mind.
She doesn't know you. She's afraid of you. Her father is the Duke of Jacob Bronte. Don't take away his place.
That's right.
He meant nothing to Ariana. Even if Ariana were to get married at the tender age of sixteen, he wouldn't have any say in it.
A sticky voice whispered in his ear.
'You are nothing to Ariana.'
Flash-!
Ariana opened her eyes.
“What happened between Cyrus and the Princess Consort?”
“If I knew, would I have sent my Princess away like this?”
Andrei frowned, then turned around and galloped back to the main palace on horseback. He reached Cyrus's office in the main palace and handed him a box as he looked out the window.
“The Princess Consort asked me to tell you.”
“Leave it there.”
Andrei put the box down on the desk with a look of displeasure and said.
"I don't know what happened with Princess Consort, but you're going to regret letting her go like this. Her birthday is the day after tomorrow, and she's going to have to spend it on the street."
Cyrus smiled coldly.
“What's so special about a birthday?”
Andrei clicked his tongue and left the office.
Cyrus slowly turned and picked up the box on the desk. Inside was a neatly folded handkerchief.
Unfolding the handkerchief, he saw an eagle embroidered in black and red, the symbol of the Northern Territory. The eagle, spreading its wings and soaring, seemed as vibrant as life itself.
Ariana, who has nothing missing, even did embroidery well.
Cyrus' name was engraved beneath the eagle.
Cyrus Carha.
When he saw that, it felt like his name was called.
Come to think of it, he never heard his name called by Ariana's voice.
He wanted to run over, stop the carriage, and talk to her.
Call my name.
But he held back. The moment her voice spoke his name, he felt like he couldn't hold on any longer and would let everything go. He felt like he even accepted the thought of her stabbing him in the heart.
What he sees with his eyes, what his heart desires, what he wants to hold with his hands, it seems like it will only be Ariana White, her alone.
Cyrus clutched his handkerchief and gazed out the window at Mount Graten.
'There's a lot to protect.'
He had to protect the northern border that his parents had protected. For that, he was willing to cut off both his arms and both his legs.
Cyrus knew very well how the two of them lived and died.
The countless people living in this northern territory had their eyes set solely on Cyrus. They couldn't allow the northern territory to be shaken by mere, inexplicable emotions.
Anything suspicious should be kicked out.
As always, he just did what he had to do, but why does a cold wind blow through his chest?
After Cyrus put the handkerchief back in the box, he opened the drawer. Inside was a gift he hadn't been able to give to Ariana.
He put the gifts he couldn't give and the ones he received deep inside the drawer and locked it. He hoped his heart would be locked like the drawer.
***
Unlike the journey to the North, the journey to the East was safe. This was thanks to the knights of the North escorting Ariana's carriage until they reached the capital.
The temperature began to gradually warm up the moment they crossed the border, and by the time they reached the capital, it had become a full-blown spring day.
Before crossing the capital city gates, the knights of the North Realm paid their respects to Ariana and set off for the North Realm.
It wasn't until after they left that she truly felt like she escaped the North. Even after she escaped the North, the lingering, gloomy feeling still lingered in her chest.
“I guess I’ll have to walk from here.”
Catherine was startled by Ariana's words.
“It must be quite far.”
“It’s okay. It’s nice to feel the spring weather after a long time.”
Ariana got out of the carriage.
As she raised her head, the pure blue sky of the East came into view. A beautiful sky with white fluffy clouds drifting by.
Even though she saw such a beautiful sky, her mood didn't improve.
Something very large and solid had completely fallen out, leaving a gaping hole. The wind, blowing ceaselessly through the hole, rustled without moisture.
Ariana sighed softly, straightened her posture, and walked toward the gate. The soldiers who recognized her bowed their heads toward her.
Behind Ariana, Shini, Catherine, and Lanster walked together.
She had barely walked a few steps past the gate when the sound of horse hooves echoed. A massive man was galloping toward her like the wind.
The horse stopped in front of Ariana.
The man got off his horse.
Ariana noticed a familiar cufflink on the man's shirt. One with Ariana's face engraved on it.
The moment he opened his arms and smiled broadly, Ariana almost burst into tears.
Instead of crying, Ariana ran to him and threw herself into his arms. Warm, strong arms wrapped around her.
“Ariana. You’re finally back!”
Only after hearing that deep, deep voice did Ariana realize how much she had missed him. Something warm and tender filled her hollow heart.
It was a very different feeling from the one directed at Cyrus, but it was a similarly sweet and gentle feeling.
Ariana buried her face in his chest, which felt endlessly wide.
“Father, I’m back.”
***
The East was warm to Ariana as always.
The former lords and their wives welcomed Ariana with tears in their eyes, and Fellowship and Langster also left their work behind and rushed over. Isabelle cried out in a raspy voice, "Where on earth have you been? Do you know how worried I was?" Averaster laughed, saying, "Ariana, you've really grown up. How could I not recognize you?"
Geor watched silently, then met Ariana's eyes and nodded slightly. Ariana nodded in return.
Judging by the dark expression on his face, it seemed that the Duke of Obelius's problem was not well resolved, but it didn't matter.
Ariana returned to her room after a long time in warm weather with her family.
When she was alone, her heart grew cold.
'I need to be more careful from now on.'
Throughout her journey to the East, I pondered what had changed Cyrus. Regardless of how Cyrus felt about Ariana, he was affectionate towards her. He visited her every day and didn't hesitate to spend time with her.
But then suddenly, it changed.
'It was only after he became certain that I knew the future.'
From the time she went to the bowl village and had that conversation.
Cyrus laughed it off when Ariana made a slip of the tongue, but later seemed to change his mind.
'Perhaps he considered it suspicious. Or perhaps he considered it an ominous being, possessing powers that humans cannot possess.'
-“Someone like you should never have been born.”
Suddenly, Rachel's voice, which she had forgotten, came to mind.
She wonders if Cyrus feels the same way. Maybe he thinks the world is better off without someone like her.
After returning to the East, a hole was once again created in her heart that had been filled with warmth.
She didn't blame Cyrus. She was just a foolish girl swayed by his affection and relaxed, which was the price she paid.
Surrounded by those who sought his life his entire life, it was only natural that Cyrus would be suspicious of her suspicious behavior. She would have been the same.
'As expected, I must never let anyone else find out that I died and came back.'
Even Cyrus, who is good at controlling his facial expressions, shows disgust.
'The Northern Lord doesn't know that I died and came back... but his attitude changed after he learned that I possessed a strange power. I'm sure my family did the same.'
Ariana didn't want to see her family turn cold and cold like Cyrus. She hated the loss of the strong hearts that had always given so generously to Ariana.
"Look at this, Ariana. Hasn't he been bragging about it every day since he got it from you? The vassals must have heard him bragging about his gift every time they met."
I remembered what my grandfather, Theodore, had said at dinner, shaking her father, Russell, by the arm. The cufflinks engraved with Ariana's face sparkled.
-“Once, my brother suddenly showed up at a Count's party, and I was wondering what was going on, and then he started bragging about those cufflinks. I was so embarrassed that I got yelled at.”
Russell remained confident despite Langster's grumbling words.
-“If you’re so jealous, why don’t you ask Isabelle or Averaster for it? Why are you clinging to me?”
Ariana was so embarrassed that she was confused.
She didn't know her father would like that gift this much.
It was so embarrassing and warm, so shameful and sweet, she didn't want to lose it.
'At least until I find out how I died and came back to life, I can't let anyone know about this.'
***
How many times has Ariana lost sleep?
Every time she fell asleep, she was plagued by terrible nightmares.
She became a helpless young girl trapped in the Duke of Bronte's mansion, a pitiful woman who was used enough and then abandoned, and a woman who was burned at the stake after being accused of being a pagan when her reversion was discovered.
Every time she woke up from a nightmare, she felt like this reality, wrapped in a warm blanket, was actually a dream, like a sweet dream she had to escape from the painful reality, so she fumbled with the blanket out of fear and fell into a deep sleep, only to wander through the nightmare again.
Then she had that dream again.
Ariana became Lord Russell White, trapped in his body, seeing what he saw and absorbing his emotions.
In front of him sat his mother, Carradine White, with a dark expression on her face.
“Marriage? Ariana is only 16!”
“Yes. But it’s not completely uncommon for someone to get married at 16.”
"Where among the noble families these days does anyone get married at the age of sixteen? They should be at least eighteen. And besides... Viscount Alfreich? That bastard is over thirty this year!"
“But what can I do? It’s the decision of the Duchess Bronte.”
His heart burned black.
He was heartbroken to learn that his young daughter was marrying a man in his thirties. He wondered if Ariana's feelings were even considered in this marriage.
“I don’t think it’ll work. I have to do it right now...!”
“Russell.”
Carradine called him over, scolding him. Her eyes were stern, but they couldn't completely hide the sadness lurking beneath them.
“There’s nothing we can do. She’s the Princess of Bronte.”
"But..."
“What are you going to say when you get there? Ariana won’t even know your face.”
Oh, I see.
His eyes were darkened by despair.
Countless letters sent, few replies. The sharp words in Rachel's reply came to mind.
She doesn't know you. She's afraid of you. Her father is the Duke of Jacob Bronte. Don't take away his place.
That's right.
He meant nothing to Ariana. Even if Ariana were to get married at the tender age of sixteen, he wouldn't have any say in it.
A sticky voice whispered in his ear.
'You are nothing to Ariana.'
Flash-!
Ariana opened her eyes.
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