(116) Wind in the chest (1)
It was very late.
Ariana ate dinner while waiting for Cyrus and enjoyed a light tea with Shini, who had returned from training. Shini and Catherine both headed to their rooms for bed, but Ariana remained dressed and sitting in the living room.
'You must be busy.'
Whenever something like this happened, Cyrus always came to Ariana.
Judging by the fact that there was still no news from him even after meeting with Baisen, he must have been very busy with official duties.
She suppressed the strange anxiety in her chest with the thought, "He's busy, he's going to be busy." A sip of cold tea calmed the negative thoughts that were about to arise.
Ariana felt uneasy being alone in her room, so she jumped up and opened the door. She planned to chat with Lanster, who was sure to be guarding the door.
But at that very moment, Cyrus happened to be walking down the hallway in front of Ariana's room.
A face she hasn't seen up close in a long time.
Ariana stood there, dumbfounded, staring blankly at his handsome face.
Their gazes met in midair. He, too, looked bewildered, as if he hadn't expected to meet Ariana at this hour.
Ariana came to her senses first and opened her mouth.
“I guess you’re busy.”
"Yes."
His voice was lower than usual.
“I saw Noah bring Baisen today.”
"Ah, that's right. He's truly talented, just as the Princess said. If we train him well, he'll become a valuable weapon."
"Yes."
The conversation stopped there.
An awkward silence stretched on. It was the first time in her conversation with Cyrus that a silence had stretched this long, this heavy, and unpleasant.
It was only then that Ariana realized something was strange.
No, maybe she been subtly aware of it since a week ago, ever since the days without seeing him had grown longer. She just wanted to pretend she didn't notice.
Cyrus, who had always stared at Ariana so intently that it felt burdensome, was no longer looking at her. Even as he stood before her, talking, his gaze lingered somewhere in the air, slightly avoiding her.
'I see.'
Cyrus wasn't busy.
A dull pain struck her chest.
'I see.'
Ariana reached out to Cyrus' face. This time, she did it with a clear, conscious mind.
Tak-!
Before her fingertips could touch his cheek, his hand struck Ariana's wrist. It wasn't a strong blow, but it hurt. It was her wrist that was being slapped, but it was her chest that was hurting.
Ariana didn't see the red, bewildered eyes twitching, nor did she see the corners of his mouth tighten in pain, even more so than Ariana's. Her gaze was fixed on her wrist, which Cyrus had just struck away.
'Like a fool. Foolishly. Again.'
Ariana swallowed a bitter smile.
Even if you die once or go back in time, people do not change.
Foolishly, she fell in love with the wrong person again. She forgot that behind Cyrus's boundless affection, he was always ready to exploit Ariana.
She ended up mistaking his hospitality and trust for nothing.
Even though she knew what was in his mind from the beginning, she had the arrogant thought that she could touch his cheek, that only she was allowed to do so.
If the Northern Lords find out, they will laugh and mock her.
Ariana's heart felt like it was being torn apart into many pieces. Even though it hurt so much, she didn't show it on her face.
Ariana said with a perfect smile, as if drawn.
"I feel like I've been too long in the North. I'll prepare and return to the East soon."
Cyrus's reply came very late.
"Yes."
Cyrus stared at the box on his desk in his office.
The box that Andrei had just brought with him after much difficulty contained a rose whose petals were made by processing diamonds.
Transparent diamond petals and emerald leaves, dewdrops embedded between the petals are sapphires.
It was a hairpin made just for Ariana, at a price that could have bought her a large mansion.
For her 17th birthday, which will be coming up soon.
After learning that Ariana's powers might have come from the Pagan doctrine, he didn't know how to look at her.
No, actually, he knew.
He'd throw her away at the slightest suspicion. Cyrus was the kind of person who could easily throw you away at the slightest suspicion, even if you hadn't done anything wrong.
But that wasn't possible for Ariana.
He couldn't even tell her to leave or what she was, so he just made up excuses about being busy and avoided her, letting time pass by.
He never thought he would run into her that night two days ago.
Her face, which he hasn't seen in a long time, is so beautiful that his heart sinks, her blue eyes are so beautiful that he wants to fall in love with them, and her red lips are so lovely that he wants to lust after them.
He couldn't see straight.
If they locked eyes, he would be unable to overcome a sudden desire and be swayed by her, just like he always had been.
The reason he pushed away her outstretched hand was that he didn't trust himself.
The moment her hand touched him, Cyrus felt as if he would be swept away by her invincible techniques. He felt as if he would be unable to suppress the urge to be entangled in that fragrant, sweet warmth.
So he just slapped that delicate wrist, but somehow he felt hurt. He felt a sharp pain, like a knife had been stabbed in his heart.
Cyrus was afraid of this feeling.
Ever since he learned she might have powers she shouldn't have, this feeling had been swelling. This confusing, burning, painful, and painful feeling he didn't even want to name was terrifying.
The more dangerous the enemy, the closer you should keep it. The more likely it is to grow, the more you should watch it closely and pluck it before it blooms.
Even knowing that, he couldn't stop Ariana from returning to the East.
Because he feels like he'll be eaten before she blooms. Because he feels like he'll be eaten by a flower bud that hasn't even bloomed yet, and won't be able to escape.
“Cyrus!”
At Isaac's voice, Cyrus lifted his head from his hairpin. Isaac strode over to stand in front of Cyrus.
“What are you thinking that no matter how much you call, you can’t hear?”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Why is Princess Consort suddenly leaving the North?”
“It’s time to go, so she’ll go.”
"But it's the Princess Consort's birthday soon. I've prepared everything for the birthday party, so I told her to stay until then."
As soon as April arrived, Cyrus called Isaac and Andrei and secretly instructed them to fill her birthday, April 20th, with all the best things.
"If she leaves now, she'll end up spending her birthday on the street. You're the one who's going to stop her."
Ariana had probably not received a single birthday celebration at the Duke of Bronte's Mansion since her birthday last year.
But is that really true?
In fact, she was a very precious being in the West, but wasn't she just pretending to be abused and hated in front of him?
Could it be that from a very young age, she had been under the orders of the Lord of the West to join hands with Paganus, waiting for the moment when he could destroy the Northern Territory?
Since she is also a Pagan, wouldn't she be carrying around Shini, who is of Pagan blood?
Even though all the strategies she gave seemed to be aimed at the West, wouldn't they actually lead to the destruction of the North?
Once the suspicion began, it did not subside, but rather intensified over time.
Whenever his suspicions about Ariana clashed violently with his desire to trust her, Cyrus found himself wishing he were just an ordinary man, not a Northern Lord.
A thought he hadn't had for a single moment since his parents passed away. A thought he hadn't thought of, no matter how difficult or painful it was.
If he had nothing to protect, nothing to do, he would live as his heart, driven by its inexorable desires, and even if death were the only end, he would die, swept up in sweet emotions, unaware of the fact that he was dying.
But Cyrus had much to protect, and the weight on his shoulders was heavy, so he had to question what needed to be questioned and let go of what needed to be let go.
There were things he had to let go of, no matter how much he wanted them.
“The Princess has been away too long. It is time for her to return to her seat.”
"Yeah, I know. I know, but why now of all times? You could've just delayed it a few more days."
“It is the Princess’s will.”
“I told you to stop her.”
“What right do I have?”
“That’s it...”
Isaac had nothing to say about that, so he just smiled.
While there's been some good vibes between Cyrus and Ariana lately, their relationship hasn't really evolved into anything worth naming.
The two people, who were both frustrated and frustrated, showed more genuine emotions than any other lovers, but did not define those emotions.
It's not right for someone else to interfere with the feelings of the two parties involved if they haven't clearly expressed them. So Isaac just watched, hiding his frustration, but the atmosphere felt strange.
Ariana's sudden comradeship. Cyrus doesn't stop it.
“Cyrus, what happened with Princess Consort?”
Cyrus didn't answer, seemingly oblivious to the question. Only after a long, long pause did Isaac finally realize what had happened.
“Not much. Nothing.”
On the day Ariana left, many people came out to see her off, but Cyrus was not among them.
Ariana smiled bitterly, feeling ashamed of herself for looking for him even though she had expected him not to come.
"Princess, His Excellency is incredibly busy. So busy that I can barely even see His face. So..."
"Isaac, I'm fine. I just came in unexpectedly and left just as suddenly. There's no need for the Northern Lord to come out and see me off."
Despite Ariana's gentle retort, Isaac's disgruntled expression remained unchanged. Andrei stepped forward.
“It would be better if you stayed a little longer before leaving.”
"I think I stayed long enough. Thanks to you, I was able to have a comfortable stay in the North before leaving. Thank you."
Ariana took Andrei's outstretched hand and climbed into the carriage. Shini and Catherine were already inside.
Just before the carriage door closed, Ariana held out the box she had been holding.
“Andrei, this is...”
Andrei took the box.
"Tell the Northern Lord that I'm grateful for his care, even though it's nothing special."
“Yes, Princess Consort.”
Ariana narrowed her eyes and smiled.
“I am not a Princess Consort, but a Princess of the East.”
The carriage door closed.
Even as preparations were being made for a hasty departure, the wagon carrying the gifts meticulously prepared by Duke Hern began to move. The knights of the same name followed, and Ariana's carriage also moved forward.
Andrei, who was watching the carriage moving away, asked Isaac.
It was very late.
Ariana ate dinner while waiting for Cyrus and enjoyed a light tea with Shini, who had returned from training. Shini and Catherine both headed to their rooms for bed, but Ariana remained dressed and sitting in the living room.
'You must be busy.'
Whenever something like this happened, Cyrus always came to Ariana.
Judging by the fact that there was still no news from him even after meeting with Baisen, he must have been very busy with official duties.
She suppressed the strange anxiety in her chest with the thought, "He's busy, he's going to be busy." A sip of cold tea calmed the negative thoughts that were about to arise.
Ariana felt uneasy being alone in her room, so she jumped up and opened the door. She planned to chat with Lanster, who was sure to be guarding the door.
But at that very moment, Cyrus happened to be walking down the hallway in front of Ariana's room.
A face she hasn't seen up close in a long time.
Ariana stood there, dumbfounded, staring blankly at his handsome face.
Their gazes met in midair. He, too, looked bewildered, as if he hadn't expected to meet Ariana at this hour.
Ariana came to her senses first and opened her mouth.
“I guess you’re busy.”
"Yes."
His voice was lower than usual.
“I saw Noah bring Baisen today.”
"Ah, that's right. He's truly talented, just as the Princess said. If we train him well, he'll become a valuable weapon."
"Yes."
The conversation stopped there.
An awkward silence stretched on. It was the first time in her conversation with Cyrus that a silence had stretched this long, this heavy, and unpleasant.
It was only then that Ariana realized something was strange.
No, maybe she been subtly aware of it since a week ago, ever since the days without seeing him had grown longer. She just wanted to pretend she didn't notice.
Cyrus, who had always stared at Ariana so intently that it felt burdensome, was no longer looking at her. Even as he stood before her, talking, his gaze lingered somewhere in the air, slightly avoiding her.
'I see.'
Cyrus wasn't busy.
A dull pain struck her chest.
'I see.'
Ariana reached out to Cyrus' face. This time, she did it with a clear, conscious mind.
Tak-!
Before her fingertips could touch his cheek, his hand struck Ariana's wrist. It wasn't a strong blow, but it hurt. It was her wrist that was being slapped, but it was her chest that was hurting.
Ariana didn't see the red, bewildered eyes twitching, nor did she see the corners of his mouth tighten in pain, even more so than Ariana's. Her gaze was fixed on her wrist, which Cyrus had just struck away.
'Like a fool. Foolishly. Again.'
Ariana swallowed a bitter smile.
Even if you die once or go back in time, people do not change.
Foolishly, she fell in love with the wrong person again. She forgot that behind Cyrus's boundless affection, he was always ready to exploit Ariana.
She ended up mistaking his hospitality and trust for nothing.
Even though she knew what was in his mind from the beginning, she had the arrogant thought that she could touch his cheek, that only she was allowed to do so.
If the Northern Lords find out, they will laugh and mock her.
Ariana's heart felt like it was being torn apart into many pieces. Even though it hurt so much, she didn't show it on her face.
Ariana said with a perfect smile, as if drawn.
"I feel like I've been too long in the North. I'll prepare and return to the East soon."
Cyrus's reply came very late.
"Yes."
***
Cyrus stared at the box on his desk in his office.
The box that Andrei had just brought with him after much difficulty contained a rose whose petals were made by processing diamonds.
Transparent diamond petals and emerald leaves, dewdrops embedded between the petals are sapphires.
It was a hairpin made just for Ariana, at a price that could have bought her a large mansion.
For her 17th birthday, which will be coming up soon.
After learning that Ariana's powers might have come from the Pagan doctrine, he didn't know how to look at her.
No, actually, he knew.
He'd throw her away at the slightest suspicion. Cyrus was the kind of person who could easily throw you away at the slightest suspicion, even if you hadn't done anything wrong.
But that wasn't possible for Ariana.
He couldn't even tell her to leave or what she was, so he just made up excuses about being busy and avoided her, letting time pass by.
He never thought he would run into her that night two days ago.
Her face, which he hasn't seen in a long time, is so beautiful that his heart sinks, her blue eyes are so beautiful that he wants to fall in love with them, and her red lips are so lovely that he wants to lust after them.
He couldn't see straight.
If they locked eyes, he would be unable to overcome a sudden desire and be swayed by her, just like he always had been.
The reason he pushed away her outstretched hand was that he didn't trust himself.
The moment her hand touched him, Cyrus felt as if he would be swept away by her invincible techniques. He felt as if he would be unable to suppress the urge to be entangled in that fragrant, sweet warmth.
So he just slapped that delicate wrist, but somehow he felt hurt. He felt a sharp pain, like a knife had been stabbed in his heart.
Cyrus was afraid of this feeling.
Ever since he learned she might have powers she shouldn't have, this feeling had been swelling. This confusing, burning, painful, and painful feeling he didn't even want to name was terrifying.
The more dangerous the enemy, the closer you should keep it. The more likely it is to grow, the more you should watch it closely and pluck it before it blooms.
Even knowing that, he couldn't stop Ariana from returning to the East.
Because he feels like he'll be eaten before she blooms. Because he feels like he'll be eaten by a flower bud that hasn't even bloomed yet, and won't be able to escape.
“Cyrus!”
At Isaac's voice, Cyrus lifted his head from his hairpin. Isaac strode over to stand in front of Cyrus.
“What are you thinking that no matter how much you call, you can’t hear?”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Why is Princess Consort suddenly leaving the North?”
“It’s time to go, so she’ll go.”
"But it's the Princess Consort's birthday soon. I've prepared everything for the birthday party, so I told her to stay until then."
As soon as April arrived, Cyrus called Isaac and Andrei and secretly instructed them to fill her birthday, April 20th, with all the best things.
"If she leaves now, she'll end up spending her birthday on the street. You're the one who's going to stop her."
Ariana had probably not received a single birthday celebration at the Duke of Bronte's Mansion since her birthday last year.
But is that really true?
In fact, she was a very precious being in the West, but wasn't she just pretending to be abused and hated in front of him?
Could it be that from a very young age, she had been under the orders of the Lord of the West to join hands with Paganus, waiting for the moment when he could destroy the Northern Territory?
Since she is also a Pagan, wouldn't she be carrying around Shini, who is of Pagan blood?
Even though all the strategies she gave seemed to be aimed at the West, wouldn't they actually lead to the destruction of the North?
Once the suspicion began, it did not subside, but rather intensified over time.
Whenever his suspicions about Ariana clashed violently with his desire to trust her, Cyrus found himself wishing he were just an ordinary man, not a Northern Lord.
A thought he hadn't had for a single moment since his parents passed away. A thought he hadn't thought of, no matter how difficult or painful it was.
If he had nothing to protect, nothing to do, he would live as his heart, driven by its inexorable desires, and even if death were the only end, he would die, swept up in sweet emotions, unaware of the fact that he was dying.
But Cyrus had much to protect, and the weight on his shoulders was heavy, so he had to question what needed to be questioned and let go of what needed to be let go.
There were things he had to let go of, no matter how much he wanted them.
“The Princess has been away too long. It is time for her to return to her seat.”
"Yeah, I know. I know, but why now of all times? You could've just delayed it a few more days."
“It is the Princess’s will.”
“I told you to stop her.”
“What right do I have?”
“That’s it...”
Isaac had nothing to say about that, so he just smiled.
While there's been some good vibes between Cyrus and Ariana lately, their relationship hasn't really evolved into anything worth naming.
The two people, who were both frustrated and frustrated, showed more genuine emotions than any other lovers, but did not define those emotions.
It's not right for someone else to interfere with the feelings of the two parties involved if they haven't clearly expressed them. So Isaac just watched, hiding his frustration, but the atmosphere felt strange.
Ariana's sudden comradeship. Cyrus doesn't stop it.
“Cyrus, what happened with Princess Consort?”
Cyrus didn't answer, seemingly oblivious to the question. Only after a long, long pause did Isaac finally realize what had happened.
“Not much. Nothing.”
***
On the day Ariana left, many people came out to see her off, but Cyrus was not among them.
Ariana smiled bitterly, feeling ashamed of herself for looking for him even though she had expected him not to come.
"Princess, His Excellency is incredibly busy. So busy that I can barely even see His face. So..."
"Isaac, I'm fine. I just came in unexpectedly and left just as suddenly. There's no need for the Northern Lord to come out and see me off."
Despite Ariana's gentle retort, Isaac's disgruntled expression remained unchanged. Andrei stepped forward.
“It would be better if you stayed a little longer before leaving.”
"I think I stayed long enough. Thanks to you, I was able to have a comfortable stay in the North before leaving. Thank you."
Ariana took Andrei's outstretched hand and climbed into the carriage. Shini and Catherine were already inside.
Just before the carriage door closed, Ariana held out the box she had been holding.
“Andrei, this is...”
Andrei took the box.
"Tell the Northern Lord that I'm grateful for his care, even though it's nothing special."
“Yes, Princess Consort.”
Ariana narrowed her eyes and smiled.
“I am not a Princess Consort, but a Princess of the East.”
The carriage door closed.
Even as preparations were being made for a hasty departure, the wagon carrying the gifts meticulously prepared by Duke Hern began to move. The knights of the same name followed, and Ariana's carriage also moved forward.
Andrei, who was watching the carriage moving away, asked Isaac.
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