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AU 715.
The reeds swayed in the river breeze, making a swoosh sound. Annette, who was sitting on the mat, leaning against Heiner, suddenly asked.
“Heiner, would you like to learn an instrument?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
"It's always been my dream to play a joint instrument with my lover. I play the piano, and she plays a different instrument. It's been my lifelong dream."
Heiner's hand paused at the word "lover." It had been over half a year since they'd started dating, but it still felt unreal.
Heiner shrugged his shoulders naturally, as if he had never hesitated before.
“That dream won’t come true.”
“This won’t work. I’ll find someone else.”
One of his eyebrows rose at those words. Annette often joked about finding someone else.
Of course, it wasn't a particularly funny joke. Heiner sighed softly and put a grape in her mouth. Annette took it naturally and muttered.
“I haven’t finished eating what’s in my mouth yet.”
“Where else can you find that?”
“Um... Should I go to the concert hall?”
One cheek of hers was bulging as she pondered, holding a grape in her mouth. Heiner touched the bulge and spoke grumpily.
"You said you like good-looking guys. Do you think it's easy to find a guy who's not only good-looking but also good at playing music?"
“That’s true. It’s hard enough just to find a good-looking man, isn’t it?”
Annette brushed it off lightly. But Heiner couldn't shake the uneasy, uneasy feeling. He impulsively opened his mouth.
“I can play an instrument too.”
“Really? A lie. What is it?”
“Just wait and see.”
Heiner got up and strode briskly down to the reeds. After a while, he returned holding a single reed.
“Why is this all of a sudden?”
Annette asked curiously. Heiner took a pocket knife from his inside pocket, silently cut the reed, and separated the wick.
By making a notch in the middle of the reed with a knife and inserting a leaf, a reed flute was completed. This was something his classmate had taught him at the training center.
“It’s a flute.”
“A flute?”
Annette tilted her head. Heiner brought his lips to the mouth of the flute and blew a gentle breath.
What had initially been just the hiss of the wind gradually began to acquire a sound. A squeaking noise emerged from the peaceful riverside field. It was a tone that seemed entirely out of place.
Heiner, who had played the flute a few more times, slowly lowered his hand. Annette looked between him and the flute with a blank expression.
Heiner felt a little embarrassed at that face and put his hand to the back of his head. He wondered if he'd done it for nothing. The moment he thought that, Annette burst out laughing.
“Haha, ahahaha! What is that!”
She covered her mouth with one hand and laughed, then quickly forgot about it and burst out laughing. The laughter continued for a long time.
Heiner stared at the face as if he were possessed without realizing it.
Reddened cheeks, hair sticking to the forehead, furrowed eyes, brightly parted lips, and a clear burst of laughter...
All of those images were like a series of stuffed scenes; one by one, they were embedded in his eyes.
In an instant, the whole world brightened, and his heart pounded. A subtle pain pierced his heart. He grimaced faintly.
"Ahahaha... So I play the piano, and you blow it next to me? That won't do. The audience won't just be looking at you. I like being the center of attention..."
“Annette.”
"Yes?"
“Can I kiss you?”
Annette blinked rapidly, perhaps taken aback by the sudden words. Silence flowed between them for a moment.
A few seconds later, she burst out laughing again and cupped his cheeks with both hands.
“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”
Heiner slowly lowered his head. Annette smiled gently and closed her eyes. Finally, their lips met.
A strong wind blew down the hill toward them. The flowers just beginning to bloom swayed gently. The soft fragrance of the flowers enveloped the kissing lovers.
It was spring.
Before she knew it, three days were left until her discharge.
Annette's body had fully recovered, except for her left hand. The doctor actually said she could be discharged immediately, but Heiner recommended she stay a few more days.
He was quite persistent in Annette's treatment, especially during her rehabilitation training, even standing by her side like a watcher.
Thanks to this, Annette was forced to diligently undergo rehabilitation training despite her lack of motivation. Of course, she hasn't yet seen any noticeable results from this training.
They often walked or ate together, as they had done in the command barracks behind the Western Front.
“I don’t want to go out today.”
“What do you hate about not going out all day?”
“I went out yesterday.”
"Yesterday was yesterday. The sun is shining. If you stay in the hospital room like this, your illness won't get better."
"Ah..."
Whenever he did this, Annette felt like she understood what it felt like to be a lazy dog with an eager owner for walks.
Coming out like this, the weather was nice, and the air was refreshing, so she felt better, but she couldn't help but feel that the act of going out was incredibly tiresome. It was hard to believe how she could have been so diligent during the height of the war.
Annette raised her head, one hand resting on her forehead to create a shade. The branches of the trees cluttered the cloudless sky. Flower buds were sprouting on the branches.
“It’s really spring now.”
“Spring has been here for a long time.”
“It’s definitely spring.”
“It’s already clear in terms of timing...”
Annette didn't listen to him and kept going. But as soon as he took a few brisk steps, she was quickly caught up.
Heiner, standing next to her, added.
“It’s definitely spring.”
Annette let out a short laugh. For a while, they walked along the path in silence. Their shadows stretched behind them.
Annette opened her mouth as if she remembered walking quietly while enjoying the sun.
"Oh, Heiner. By the way... Do you happen to know anything about the Grotts family? I can't get through on the phone."
“It’s because of the Sinsier bombing.”
“Maybe.”
“I haven’t had any contact with the Grotts family this year... so I don’t know anything about them.”
“Is that so...”
Annette's face darkened slightly. It seemed she had no choice but to go and see for herself. Her pace, which had been ruminating over the letters she had exchanged with Katrine, suddenly slowed.
[Oh my goodness, you met your ex-husband? Honestly, I was expecting him to come looking for you.]
Suddenly, a phrase from the letter flashed through her mind.
[He called me as soon as he heard the news of your enlistment. I was so scared of his anger...]
“Heiner.”
Annette stopped walking and turned her head to him.
“Have you been in contact with Katrine since our divorce?”
Heiner stopped following her. Their eyes met in midair. He stared at her for a moment, his face unreadable, before slowly opening his mouth.
“We’ve been in constant contact with them since you started living at Grott’s.”
“...It was like that from the beginning.”
"I didn't mean it with any particular intention. You were just unstable, and I was just preparing for the unexpected—"
“I understand. I’m not trying to tell you anything.”
Annette shook her head gently. He opened his lips as if to say something more, then closed them.
They began walking again. The sound of children laughing echoed through the grass. As they neared the end of the path, he cautiously spoke.
“Annette, after you’re discharged from the military... where do you plan to go?”
Annette paused for a moment, as if hearing a very unexpected question.
Since meeting again at the hospital, they never once brought up the future. It was something unspoken.
There was no future in their conversation.
As Annette had said, the atonement and forgiveness that night were only for the regrets that would remain in each of their lives, not for guaranteeing their future.
So, there was no change in the path to be taken.
She will be discharged soon, returning home far from the front lines, and they will part ways as planned.
Both she and he knew this.
He checked Annette's expression, which seemed ambiguous, and spoke as if making an excuse.
“I just─ if there’s anything you need... like if you want to seek sanctuary in another country, or if there’s a particular area you’d like to live in, let me know...”
“I don’t seek sanctuary.”
“...But you might be happier that way.”
Even if we were to never meet again, Heiner swallowed his words.
Annette remained silent for a while, her eyes lowered. A petal rustled as it fell onto her shoulder.
Heiner reached out and removed the petals clinging to her shoulder. Annette looked up. Their eyes met at close range. She spoke calmly.
"I decided from the moment I applied to be a military nurse. I wouldn't avoid it any longer. If it was something I had to face, I would face it."
“...”
“I’m not trying to live a happy life. I’m trying to live a better life.”
Annette smiled brightly.
“So it’s okay.”
The reeds swayed in the river breeze, making a swoosh sound. Annette, who was sitting on the mat, leaning against Heiner, suddenly asked.
“Heiner, would you like to learn an instrument?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
"It's always been my dream to play a joint instrument with my lover. I play the piano, and she plays a different instrument. It's been my lifelong dream."
Heiner's hand paused at the word "lover." It had been over half a year since they'd started dating, but it still felt unreal.
Heiner shrugged his shoulders naturally, as if he had never hesitated before.
“That dream won’t come true.”
“This won’t work. I’ll find someone else.”
One of his eyebrows rose at those words. Annette often joked about finding someone else.
Of course, it wasn't a particularly funny joke. Heiner sighed softly and put a grape in her mouth. Annette took it naturally and muttered.
“I haven’t finished eating what’s in my mouth yet.”
“Where else can you find that?”
“Um... Should I go to the concert hall?”
One cheek of hers was bulging as she pondered, holding a grape in her mouth. Heiner touched the bulge and spoke grumpily.
"You said you like good-looking guys. Do you think it's easy to find a guy who's not only good-looking but also good at playing music?"
“That’s true. It’s hard enough just to find a good-looking man, isn’t it?”
Annette brushed it off lightly. But Heiner couldn't shake the uneasy, uneasy feeling. He impulsively opened his mouth.
“I can play an instrument too.”
“Really? A lie. What is it?”
“Just wait and see.”
Heiner got up and strode briskly down to the reeds. After a while, he returned holding a single reed.
“Why is this all of a sudden?”
Annette asked curiously. Heiner took a pocket knife from his inside pocket, silently cut the reed, and separated the wick.
By making a notch in the middle of the reed with a knife and inserting a leaf, a reed flute was completed. This was something his classmate had taught him at the training center.
“It’s a flute.”
“A flute?”
Annette tilted her head. Heiner brought his lips to the mouth of the flute and blew a gentle breath.
What had initially been just the hiss of the wind gradually began to acquire a sound. A squeaking noise emerged from the peaceful riverside field. It was a tone that seemed entirely out of place.
Heiner, who had played the flute a few more times, slowly lowered his hand. Annette looked between him and the flute with a blank expression.
Heiner felt a little embarrassed at that face and put his hand to the back of his head. He wondered if he'd done it for nothing. The moment he thought that, Annette burst out laughing.
“Haha, ahahaha! What is that!”
She covered her mouth with one hand and laughed, then quickly forgot about it and burst out laughing. The laughter continued for a long time.
Heiner stared at the face as if he were possessed without realizing it.
Reddened cheeks, hair sticking to the forehead, furrowed eyes, brightly parted lips, and a clear burst of laughter...
All of those images were like a series of stuffed scenes; one by one, they were embedded in his eyes.
In an instant, the whole world brightened, and his heart pounded. A subtle pain pierced his heart. He grimaced faintly.
"Ahahaha... So I play the piano, and you blow it next to me? That won't do. The audience won't just be looking at you. I like being the center of attention..."
“Annette.”
"Yes?"
“Can I kiss you?”
Annette blinked rapidly, perhaps taken aback by the sudden words. Silence flowed between them for a moment.
A few seconds later, she burst out laughing again and cupped his cheeks with both hands.
“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”
Heiner slowly lowered his head. Annette smiled gently and closed her eyes. Finally, their lips met.
A strong wind blew down the hill toward them. The flowers just beginning to bloom swayed gently. The soft fragrance of the flowers enveloped the kissing lovers.
It was spring.
***
Before she knew it, three days were left until her discharge.
Annette's body had fully recovered, except for her left hand. The doctor actually said she could be discharged immediately, but Heiner recommended she stay a few more days.
He was quite persistent in Annette's treatment, especially during her rehabilitation training, even standing by her side like a watcher.
Thanks to this, Annette was forced to diligently undergo rehabilitation training despite her lack of motivation. Of course, she hasn't yet seen any noticeable results from this training.
They often walked or ate together, as they had done in the command barracks behind the Western Front.
“I don’t want to go out today.”
“What do you hate about not going out all day?”
“I went out yesterday.”
"Yesterday was yesterday. The sun is shining. If you stay in the hospital room like this, your illness won't get better."
"Ah..."
Whenever he did this, Annette felt like she understood what it felt like to be a lazy dog with an eager owner for walks.
Coming out like this, the weather was nice, and the air was refreshing, so she felt better, but she couldn't help but feel that the act of going out was incredibly tiresome. It was hard to believe how she could have been so diligent during the height of the war.
Annette raised her head, one hand resting on her forehead to create a shade. The branches of the trees cluttered the cloudless sky. Flower buds were sprouting on the branches.
“It’s really spring now.”
“Spring has been here for a long time.”
“It’s definitely spring.”
“It’s already clear in terms of timing...”
Annette didn't listen to him and kept going. But as soon as he took a few brisk steps, she was quickly caught up.
Heiner, standing next to her, added.
“It’s definitely spring.”
Annette let out a short laugh. For a while, they walked along the path in silence. Their shadows stretched behind them.
Annette opened her mouth as if she remembered walking quietly while enjoying the sun.
"Oh, Heiner. By the way... Do you happen to know anything about the Grotts family? I can't get through on the phone."
“It’s because of the Sinsier bombing.”
“Maybe.”
“I haven’t had any contact with the Grotts family this year... so I don’t know anything about them.”
“Is that so...”
Annette's face darkened slightly. It seemed she had no choice but to go and see for herself. Her pace, which had been ruminating over the letters she had exchanged with Katrine, suddenly slowed.
[Oh my goodness, you met your ex-husband? Honestly, I was expecting him to come looking for you.]
Suddenly, a phrase from the letter flashed through her mind.
[He called me as soon as he heard the news of your enlistment. I was so scared of his anger...]
“Heiner.”
Annette stopped walking and turned her head to him.
“Have you been in contact with Katrine since our divorce?”
Heiner stopped following her. Their eyes met in midair. He stared at her for a moment, his face unreadable, before slowly opening his mouth.
“We’ve been in constant contact with them since you started living at Grott’s.”
“...It was like that from the beginning.”
"I didn't mean it with any particular intention. You were just unstable, and I was just preparing for the unexpected—"
“I understand. I’m not trying to tell you anything.”
Annette shook her head gently. He opened his lips as if to say something more, then closed them.
They began walking again. The sound of children laughing echoed through the grass. As they neared the end of the path, he cautiously spoke.
“Annette, after you’re discharged from the military... where do you plan to go?”
Annette paused for a moment, as if hearing a very unexpected question.
Since meeting again at the hospital, they never once brought up the future. It was something unspoken.
There was no future in their conversation.
As Annette had said, the atonement and forgiveness that night were only for the regrets that would remain in each of their lives, not for guaranteeing their future.
So, there was no change in the path to be taken.
She will be discharged soon, returning home far from the front lines, and they will part ways as planned.
Both she and he knew this.
He checked Annette's expression, which seemed ambiguous, and spoke as if making an excuse.
“I just─ if there’s anything you need... like if you want to seek sanctuary in another country, or if there’s a particular area you’d like to live in, let me know...”
“I don’t seek sanctuary.”
“...But you might be happier that way.”
Even if we were to never meet again, Heiner swallowed his words.
Annette remained silent for a while, her eyes lowered. A petal rustled as it fell onto her shoulder.
Heiner reached out and removed the petals clinging to her shoulder. Annette looked up. Their eyes met at close range. She spoke calmly.
"I decided from the moment I applied to be a military nurse. I wouldn't avoid it any longer. If it was something I had to face, I would face it."
“...”
“I’m not trying to live a happy life. I’m trying to live a better life.”
Annette smiled brightly.
“So it’s okay.”
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