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The dim dawn light settled on the window. Annette walked around the hospital room, checking to make sure she hadn't missed anything.
Last night, she said her final goodbyes to Joseph. He was a child whose only destination was an orphanage, and she desperately wanted to take him if circumstances allowed. However, with no place to live yet, she couldn't make any rash decisions.
Annette, trying to suppress her regret, checked the time. There was still some time left until departure.
She finished preparing early to say goodbye to Heiner. She couldn't bring him to the train station; he was so busy. It was right to say goodbye here.
“I will continue to live... just like before.”
Suddenly, his calm and lonely voice rose like smoke and then dispersed.
She stood still in the middle of the room, watching the dawn filtering through the curtains. The dawn signaling the end of the day was breaking.
It was right to break up here.
Annette closed her eyes in the dawn and thought.
The reason they can just laugh about the past now is that they haven't assumed the future.
The future is uncertain. Forging relationships amidst that uncertainty would be self-destructive. The remnants of the past would plague them with constant suspicion, distrust, and resentment...
Their relationship was built on lies, and Annette could no longer trust him as a lover. This was a separate issue from understanding and forgiving him.
It wasn't just her problem. When he called her "the one thing I wanted out of my hellish life," Annette realized how their relationship had become so strained.
Heiner was making her his life's purpose.
That was clearly not a normal form of emotion. They would just be eating each other up just by being together.
So she had to end it here.
Annette opened her eyes. Her blue eyes were a little darker than before. She reached out and closed the curtains. The dawn light was separated by a single sheet.
She stuffed her luggage into her bag and zipped it shut. The bag and scarf lay on the empty bed.
As she gazed at the scarf for a moment, she heard heavy, measured footsteps outside. Annette turned her head toward the door. As expected, there was a knock.
“Can I come in?”
“Come in.”
The door opened, and a fully grown man in an officer's uniform entered. Annette greeted him with a smile.
Heiner's gaze lingered on her face for a moment, then moved to her luggage.
“Are you finished already?”
“I didn’t have much to pack, so I finished quickly.”
"I think it would be best to see you off at the train station. Even if we postpone the meeting a bit..."
"What nonsense are you talking about? Do you want a revolution to break out and force you out of your position as Commander-in-Chief?"
“...Are you kidding?”
“I’m joking.”
Heiner looked as if he didn't know whether to laugh or not.
“Oh, and...”
Annette picked up the scarf lying on the bed and offered it to him. Heiner knew it too. It was something she had been wearing the entire time she was there.
Heiner couldn't readily accept the blue scarf offered to him, but just looked at it.
“It’s been a while, so I’m still quite immature, but... this is a farewell gift.”
She added sheepishly.
"It feels a bit odd to give a scarf in the spring. I guess I'll have to give it to you next winter. If you don't need it, you can just throw it away..."
Heiner shook his head and took the scarf. His fingertips trembled faintly. After a moment, he forced a smile and muttered.
“...I can’t do it because it’s a shame.”
Annette smiled softly. An awkward silence fell between them after that. Heiner fiddled with his scarf, his face barely suppressing something.
“I─.”
“Annette.”
Suddenly, both of them opened their mouths at the same time.
“You speak first.”
“No, you speak first.”
“Hurry up.”
Annette urged. Heiner hesitated for a moment, then hesitantly pulled something out of his pocket. He then placed it in Annette's hand.
"What is it?"
It was a small pouch, perfect for storing accessories. Annette opened the pouch and looked inside. Something sparkled within the fabric. For a moment, her expression hardened.
“...Just because it was originally yours.”
Heiner said calmly.
"It doesn't mean anything to me. Take it or sell it, whatever you want. I've been meaning to give it back to you, but I feel like this is my last chance."
It was their wedding ring that they had not yet taken to the jeweler.
Annette looked at him in confusion. She hadn't expected Heiner to bring it here, let alone keep it in the official residence.
“But Heiner, this is what you bought.”
“I gave it to you.”
He cut her off and added.
“Think of this as a parting gift.”
"...Thank you."
Annette accepted it silently, no longer hesitating. The ring, which held so many of their belongings, felt particularly heavy.
“What were you trying to say?”
Heiner asked quietly. Annette moved her lips as if choosing her words.
Their faces, standing close together, stared at each other. His eyes captured hers, hers captured him. A multitude of hearts swelled beneath their thin skin.
Finally, Annette made her final confession.
“...Heiner, you said I didn’t ‘really’ love you.”
She spoke with emotion, pressing down on each word, hoping that her sincerity would be conveyed.
“I loved you much more than you think.”
His pupils shook greatly.
“So if you had shown me everything about yourself back then... I would have loved you.”
“...”
“You deserve to be loved. I hope you’re happy.”
Annette closed her eyes and opened them again. She still had confidence in her eyes. She smiled faintly within them.
“Goodbye, Heiner.”
“Please stand this way!”
Annette stood at the back of a long line of transport vehicles. She'd traveled to the front lines countless times in transport vehicles, but this time felt particularly special.
Is it because it's the last one?
Her status as a military nurse and her relationship with him.
Annette turned and looked at the hospital building. A spring breeze, carrying a few flower petals, rustled the hem of her skirt.
From here, all she could see was the windows of the hospital building. Yet, she felt a strange certainty that he was watching her.
“Please go further in! We’re leaving for Portsmouth Station soon!”
Annette turned again. She forced herself to take a step that wouldn't let her fall. The hem of her skirt, fluttering in the wind, wrapped around her legs as if blocking her path.
“I’ll take this train. Everyone else, please take the next train!”
Annette was swept up in the procession and was the last to be loaded onto the transport vehicle. Soon, the vehicle began to lurch forward. She gazed at the hospital building and muttered quietly.
Goodbye.
The person who was most precious to me.
The wheels began to roll down the road. The car carrying her slowly moved away from the Portsman Hospital. Annette didn't turn her head until the hospital building disappeared into a dot.
The spring wind that had been following her stopped in the middle of the road and hovered in place.
The strategy meeting on the Cheshire Fields campaign ended earlier than scheduled. As he was returning to his hospital room, Heiner heard that the train to Portsman Station was continuing to be delayed.
He sat in his chair and stared at his neatly folded scarf for a long time. His chest felt hollow and empty.
“It seems a bit odd to give a scarf in the spring. I guess I’ll have to give it to you next winter.”
Heiner reached out and gently touched the surface of the scarf. A soft, warm sensation spread through his fingertips.
I have a reason to live until this winter comes.
For him, life wasn't about surviving, but about prolonging life. And so, life was extended.
Heiner lowered his head, his hands resting on his scarf. The weight of her long life and the afterimages she left behind weighed heavily on him.
Is there anything left for me in the future?
“If there is a set amount of happiness for a person, I think I have already enjoyed it all in the past.”
How much happiness has been given to me?
He slowly reflected on his life. In the darkness, days filled with nothing but pain passed, and then passed again. At the end of his recollection, all that remained was that rose garden.
It was her again.
“Heiner, come here.”
“Ahaha, are you giving this to me again? I’m going to get buried in flowers and die at this rate.”
“What are you going to do tomorrow? Aren’t you going to see me?”
"I love you."
“I love you, Heiner.”
Even if everything was a lie, scenes from the happiest moments of his life filled the empty room. These were days he wanted to live forever, trapped in those moments.
His hand resting on his scarf tightened. Thick veins stood out on the back of his hand. Just calling her name made the longing flow from his lips.
Annette.
If there was a set amount of happiness for a person, I would have used it all up when I was hugging you and whispering sweet nothings to you.
For a moment, a strange light appeared in the gray eyes that had been darkly settling.
Back in the days when we whispered words of love...
Heiner's hands froze. He stared blankly at his scarf again. Then, with a trembling hand, he slowly stroked his face.
A wristwatch appeared on his sagging arm. The minute hand was pointing to 25 minutes. He abruptly rose from his seat.
There was something he had to say to her.
He left the hospital room in a frenzy, not even having time to grab his coat. The sound of urgent footsteps echoed through the hallway. His brisk pace soon turned into a running sprint.
There was something he had to tell her.
Heiner ran down to the lobby, oblivious to the attention. At that moment, only one sentence filled his mind.
Annette.
I, I you...
He reached the hospital entrance and opened the door.
The spring breeze blew.
Last night, she said her final goodbyes to Joseph. He was a child whose only destination was an orphanage, and she desperately wanted to take him if circumstances allowed. However, with no place to live yet, she couldn't make any rash decisions.
Annette, trying to suppress her regret, checked the time. There was still some time left until departure.
She finished preparing early to say goodbye to Heiner. She couldn't bring him to the train station; he was so busy. It was right to say goodbye here.
“I will continue to live... just like before.”
Suddenly, his calm and lonely voice rose like smoke and then dispersed.
She stood still in the middle of the room, watching the dawn filtering through the curtains. The dawn signaling the end of the day was breaking.
It was right to break up here.
Annette closed her eyes in the dawn and thought.
The reason they can just laugh about the past now is that they haven't assumed the future.
The future is uncertain. Forging relationships amidst that uncertainty would be self-destructive. The remnants of the past would plague them with constant suspicion, distrust, and resentment...
Their relationship was built on lies, and Annette could no longer trust him as a lover. This was a separate issue from understanding and forgiving him.
It wasn't just her problem. When he called her "the one thing I wanted out of my hellish life," Annette realized how their relationship had become so strained.
Heiner was making her his life's purpose.
That was clearly not a normal form of emotion. They would just be eating each other up just by being together.
So she had to end it here.
Annette opened her eyes. Her blue eyes were a little darker than before. She reached out and closed the curtains. The dawn light was separated by a single sheet.
She stuffed her luggage into her bag and zipped it shut. The bag and scarf lay on the empty bed.
As she gazed at the scarf for a moment, she heard heavy, measured footsteps outside. Annette turned her head toward the door. As expected, there was a knock.
“Can I come in?”
“Come in.”
The door opened, and a fully grown man in an officer's uniform entered. Annette greeted him with a smile.
Heiner's gaze lingered on her face for a moment, then moved to her luggage.
“Are you finished already?”
“I didn’t have much to pack, so I finished quickly.”
"I think it would be best to see you off at the train station. Even if we postpone the meeting a bit..."
"What nonsense are you talking about? Do you want a revolution to break out and force you out of your position as Commander-in-Chief?"
“...Are you kidding?”
“I’m joking.”
Heiner looked as if he didn't know whether to laugh or not.
“Oh, and...”
Annette picked up the scarf lying on the bed and offered it to him. Heiner knew it too. It was something she had been wearing the entire time she was there.
Heiner couldn't readily accept the blue scarf offered to him, but just looked at it.
“It’s been a while, so I’m still quite immature, but... this is a farewell gift.”
She added sheepishly.
"It feels a bit odd to give a scarf in the spring. I guess I'll have to give it to you next winter. If you don't need it, you can just throw it away..."
Heiner shook his head and took the scarf. His fingertips trembled faintly. After a moment, he forced a smile and muttered.
“...I can’t do it because it’s a shame.”
Annette smiled softly. An awkward silence fell between them after that. Heiner fiddled with his scarf, his face barely suppressing something.
“I─.”
“Annette.”
Suddenly, both of them opened their mouths at the same time.
“You speak first.”
“No, you speak first.”
“Hurry up.”
Annette urged. Heiner hesitated for a moment, then hesitantly pulled something out of his pocket. He then placed it in Annette's hand.
"What is it?"
It was a small pouch, perfect for storing accessories. Annette opened the pouch and looked inside. Something sparkled within the fabric. For a moment, her expression hardened.
“...Just because it was originally yours.”
Heiner said calmly.
"It doesn't mean anything to me. Take it or sell it, whatever you want. I've been meaning to give it back to you, but I feel like this is my last chance."
It was their wedding ring that they had not yet taken to the jeweler.
Annette looked at him in confusion. She hadn't expected Heiner to bring it here, let alone keep it in the official residence.
“But Heiner, this is what you bought.”
“I gave it to you.”
He cut her off and added.
“Think of this as a parting gift.”
"...Thank you."
Annette accepted it silently, no longer hesitating. The ring, which held so many of their belongings, felt particularly heavy.
“What were you trying to say?”
Heiner asked quietly. Annette moved her lips as if choosing her words.
Their faces, standing close together, stared at each other. His eyes captured hers, hers captured him. A multitude of hearts swelled beneath their thin skin.
Finally, Annette made her final confession.
“...Heiner, you said I didn’t ‘really’ love you.”
She spoke with emotion, pressing down on each word, hoping that her sincerity would be conveyed.
“I loved you much more than you think.”
His pupils shook greatly.
“So if you had shown me everything about yourself back then... I would have loved you.”
“...”
“You deserve to be loved. I hope you’re happy.”
Annette closed her eyes and opened them again. She still had confidence in her eyes. She smiled faintly within them.
“Goodbye, Heiner.”
***
“Please stand this way!”
Annette stood at the back of a long line of transport vehicles. She'd traveled to the front lines countless times in transport vehicles, but this time felt particularly special.
Is it because it's the last one?
Her status as a military nurse and her relationship with him.
Annette turned and looked at the hospital building. A spring breeze, carrying a few flower petals, rustled the hem of her skirt.
From here, all she could see was the windows of the hospital building. Yet, she felt a strange certainty that he was watching her.
“Please go further in! We’re leaving for Portsmouth Station soon!”
Annette turned again. She forced herself to take a step that wouldn't let her fall. The hem of her skirt, fluttering in the wind, wrapped around her legs as if blocking her path.
“I’ll take this train. Everyone else, please take the next train!”
Annette was swept up in the procession and was the last to be loaded onto the transport vehicle. Soon, the vehicle began to lurch forward. She gazed at the hospital building and muttered quietly.
Goodbye.
The person who was most precious to me.
The wheels began to roll down the road. The car carrying her slowly moved away from the Portsman Hospital. Annette didn't turn her head until the hospital building disappeared into a dot.
The spring wind that had been following her stopped in the middle of the road and hovered in place.
***
The strategy meeting on the Cheshire Fields campaign ended earlier than scheduled. As he was returning to his hospital room, Heiner heard that the train to Portsman Station was continuing to be delayed.
He sat in his chair and stared at his neatly folded scarf for a long time. His chest felt hollow and empty.
“It seems a bit odd to give a scarf in the spring. I guess I’ll have to give it to you next winter.”
Heiner reached out and gently touched the surface of the scarf. A soft, warm sensation spread through his fingertips.
I have a reason to live until this winter comes.
For him, life wasn't about surviving, but about prolonging life. And so, life was extended.
Heiner lowered his head, his hands resting on his scarf. The weight of her long life and the afterimages she left behind weighed heavily on him.
Is there anything left for me in the future?
“If there is a set amount of happiness for a person, I think I have already enjoyed it all in the past.”
How much happiness has been given to me?
He slowly reflected on his life. In the darkness, days filled with nothing but pain passed, and then passed again. At the end of his recollection, all that remained was that rose garden.
It was her again.
“Heiner, come here.”
“Ahaha, are you giving this to me again? I’m going to get buried in flowers and die at this rate.”
“What are you going to do tomorrow? Aren’t you going to see me?”
"I love you."
“I love you, Heiner.”
Even if everything was a lie, scenes from the happiest moments of his life filled the empty room. These were days he wanted to live forever, trapped in those moments.
His hand resting on his scarf tightened. Thick veins stood out on the back of his hand. Just calling her name made the longing flow from his lips.
Annette.
If there was a set amount of happiness for a person, I would have used it all up when I was hugging you and whispering sweet nothings to you.
For a moment, a strange light appeared in the gray eyes that had been darkly settling.
Back in the days when we whispered words of love...
Heiner's hands froze. He stared blankly at his scarf again. Then, with a trembling hand, he slowly stroked his face.
A wristwatch appeared on his sagging arm. The minute hand was pointing to 25 minutes. He abruptly rose from his seat.
There was something he had to say to her.
He left the hospital room in a frenzy, not even having time to grab his coat. The sound of urgent footsteps echoed through the hallway. His brisk pace soon turned into a running sprint.
There was something he had to tell her.
Heiner ran down to the lobby, oblivious to the attention. At that moment, only one sentence filled his mind.
Annette.
I, I you...
He reached the hospital entrance and opened the door.
The spring breeze blew.
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