With the sound of an air raid siren, all the lights in the palace and gardens went out. The extravagantly splendid lights and music were swallowed up, leaving only a desolate darkness.
My blind consciousness drifted back and forth. Perhaps it was almost like a blank slate. I glimpsed Eileen and Maria's mouths in the darkness, as if they were shouting something, but I couldn't even think of getting up from my seat.
They took my hand and helped me up.
“Princess! You must evacuate immediately!”
Led by Eileen and Maria, I busily moved my legs. The path was dark, devoid of even a single dim streetlight. I felt like I was wandering somewhere far away. As I passed through the garden and crossed the bridge over the lake, two men, both muscular and dressed in uniforms, approached me. The tall man spoke.
“It is Her Majesty the Queen’s order. We will serve the Princess.”
Maria blocked my path, narrowing her eyes to examine me. She studied the two standing in the darkness, then let out a dry voice.
"Please identify yourself. I cannot entrust the Princess of a country to people whose identities I don't even know."
“This is Sergeant Alphonse Radhill of the 3rd Guards Infantry Battalion, Capital Defense Command.”
“I don’t know you, so could you show me your military ID?”
“There is no time for this in this emergency, Baroness Maria Cates.”
“Please present your identification. Otherwise, in accordance with royal decree, I will fire live rounds to protect the royal family.”
Maria took out her pistol and aimed it at them.
Before I knew it, my eyes had become accustomed to the darkness, and I could vaguely see their faces. Just as the man, with his expression filled with rage, jerked his chin, a sharp gunshot rang out near my ear.
“Maria?”
Maria, who had been protecting me, collapsed, clutching her chest. I couldn't immediately comprehend the situation. From the moment I heard the alarm, I was out of my mind, in a state of panic. Without thinking, I pulled out my gun. The man who had shot Maria wore a look of disgust and contempt born of jealousy. All my thoughts raced.
"I cannot allow a half-breed with Belfordian blood to succeed to the throne. You would tarnish Medea's legitimacy..."
It was not a sermon or a rebuttal, but a barrage of gunfire that silenced the mockery of the man with his superiority ideology.
The recoil was so intense that it made my wrist tingle as I held the pistol. The agonizing scream of being pierced by a bullet that carried a fierce crackling sound. My senses were sharp, but my emotions were numb, like being shot at a flickering moon shadow.
A gurgling sound of blood boiling from the neck of a man with jet-black hair. One of them collapsed, motionless, as if dead. The man's eyes, glaring up at me from his knees, were bloodshot. I gazed down at the man, his life still undiminished, with eyes devoid of emotion.
"You're still breathing. I guess it's because I didn't practice hard enough."
Because I thought I wouldn't have to shoot.
A third gunshot drowned out my emotionless mutterings.
I have no humanity left to feel guilt toward them. Such leeway is only possible when safety is a prerequisite. I am not weak, and I do not need protection.
Eileen, her face pale, examined Maria's collapsed condition. Maria struggled to open her eyelids.
“Sir Eileen, take the Princess and escape.”
"Baroness Cates, the bullet has penetrated your heart. You can't speak. The bleeding is getting worse. I'll call someone."
Eileen wiped away her tears and jumped to her feet, pulling out a small flare for a distress signal. Maria grabbed her arm, as if to stop her. Panting, Maria clutched her chest with one hand and offered Eileen advice.
"Eileen Russell, have you forgotten the air raid code of conduct? Leave me behind. Remember your priorities."
I shook my head stubbornly.
“No, I’m not leaving Maria behind.”
Eileen nodded in agreement with what I said, helped Maria up, and spoke.
"There will be more people after the Princess. They may be disguised as guards or bodyguards searching for you, so I think it would be best to head straight to the villa shelter."
Maria's hand was clutching her left breast tightly. Her entire lavender top was dyed crimson, and the blood flowing through her trembling fingers soon soaked the hem of her skirt. A gloomy premonition filled me, but I forced myself to brace her neck.
“Just hold on a little longer.”
Eileen and I started walking, supporting her.
“To Princess Diana... God bless you.”
Maria's feeble voice sounded like a farewell from afar. I pretended not to hear. I bit my lip and walked down the pitch-black road.
Near the entrance to the access road next to the carriage and vehicle depot, a figure, barely hanging on, dropped its head. The feeling of its soul slipping away, the weight of death, was palpable. The moment the sound of its labored footsteps turned into a dragging sound, a chill ran down my spine. Even though it was an empty shell, its soul gone, the weight became unbearable, making it impossible to take any more steps.
“Princess. Baroness Cates has already...”
Eileen choked back tears, trailing off. The dresses we were wearing were already so red they were almost impossible to tell from their white. I leaned Maria against the tree and collapsed. My legs felt so weak I couldn't move any further.
“Wake up, wake up.”
Eileen, pleading, grabbed my arm and pulled me up, dragging me into the vehicle storage area. It was in the opposite direction from the villa. Her face was turned away, but I couldn't see her. I could tell from her trembling shoulders and sobbing voice that she was barely holding back tears.
“I’m sorry for pulling your arm sore.”
“No need to be sorry.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t do anything while Baroness Cates was dying. I’m a coward.”
“I did that too.”
What should I do now? I felt completely at a standstill. Eileen slowly turned to me, as if trying to give me the answer.
"Princess, do you remember what I told you before? If the maid had told me the truth, I wouldn't have regretted losing him."
“I remember.”
“Actually, there were many choices before that.”
“What choice?”
“If I hadn’t studied hard as a child, if I hadn’t been adopted into the Russell family, if I had left the orphanage with him and made my own way in life, I would have been able to live independently.”
Eileen, who had been listing her life's regrets in a memoir, clasped her hands to her chest and took a deep breath. Her gaze, seemingly resolved, focused on me, sharpening.
"In a life filled with regrets, I now have the opportunity to make the right choice, like my sister. It's a night when the moon and stars are hidden."
“What on earth are you trying to say...?”
I asked her with a blank expression. Her hazel eyes, once filled with tears, now took on a different color, twinkling like stars. She seemed somehow relieved.
"My mother, Captain Russell, is from the Grandis family, high in the line of succession. She intended to take this opportunity to overthrow the Princess and end the Spencer royal line. In fact, I, too... went along with her plan, seeking revenge after losing my sister and that man. I believed it was the Spencer royal family's fault."
Eileen removed the tiara from my head and placed it on her own. Was that a sign of betrayal? I stood rigidly, waiting for her conclusion.
"But after spending time with the Princess, I no longer want to do that. I guess I'm not a very toxic person."
Eileen, wearing my blue sash and medals, tilted her head and smiled.
"I hope Princess Diana doesn't regret it like I did. I've decided to stop judging by appearances and decide for myself what's right. Leave the palace, get in your car, and head to your old mansion. There must be someone you've been waiting for."
There's someone I miss at the mansion. Could it be Noah's return? I swallowed hard as I gazed at her, her hair cut to the same length as mine, her height similar to mine, and her clothes of the same color. Then I asked her.
“Eileen, what is your sister’s name?”
Eileen, who had been standing at the garage door, turned around and smiled brightly at me.
“Raenier. We’re from the same orphanage.”
My eyes were dizzy. With those last words, she opened the door and ran out without a moment for me to stop her.
"Renier."
"Erita was loved by Your Majesty even though she wasn't perfect. Compared to her, I was a perfect Princess, so you kept me by your side out of necessity."
"You misunderstood. I was so cruel to you; it was all to protect you. If your qualifications as a successor were questioned, you would die. I hoped you would pull yourself together and become stronger."
From the moment it was revealed I was the Princess, my life was like a rag on a string, ready to be blown away by the wind at any moment. Everyone was waiting for an opportunity to catch me. Noah risked his life to go to war, even at the risk of divorce. The Queen, who had become a villain and threatened to make me the rightful Princess, was all for this very reason. Even though I understood that it was all for my own good, I was sick and tired of it. I hated the way my life and everything precious to me were being tossed around in the balance.
You even gave up on Erita, whom you truly loved. Should I be any different? I remained cynical.
"Yes, I understand. In my head. The same goes for your Majesty and my relationship."
Her cold hand grabbed mine and squeezed it.
"My dear, you're the only one left for me. Where are you going, leaving me behind, with a stable life, power, and status all in your hands?"
There was a desperate trembling in her voice. I silently looked down at my feet, then raised my head again.
"Your Majesty, would you give up everything for me? Would you declare that I'm a half-blood, born to Officer Belford, and hand over the throne to another royal family, and become a normal mother?"
The Queen ultimately remained silent. Knowing she had chosen the throne over me, I concluded.
"Noah did. He may have said he didn't love me, but he always cared for me more than anyone else in the world, more than myself. Just as Your Majesty has priorities in life, so do I. Right now, other things take priority over the throne."
I raised my head and looked at the Queen. She, too, was human and feared the loneliness of being left alone. But I couldn't satisfy her greed and need. Neither could she.
“And we are not family.”
Her eyes darkened with sorrow at my last words. I don't know whether she took it as a declaration of severance or something else. She extended a hand to me. A rose diamond necklace was wrapped around her pale fingers.
“Is that your necklace? Boaz was holding it.”
I took the necklace with both hands and stepped back, bowing politely as if saying goodbye.
“Thank you. Please take good care of Boaz.”
“You're still young, and it will be a very long time before you inherit the throne.”
The Queen, who had been mumbling in a resigned tone, opened her eyes and smiled kindly.
“...Come back anytime. I’ll be waiting.”
This was the end of our deal.
I got into the car and drove down the road I'd chosen. The Queen, standing like a white ghost in the rearview mirror, appeared. The farther away she got, the more dim she became, like a fading oblivion worn away by time.
As I was passing by, throwing away the memories and relationships I had made while living as royalty, I saw the tiara that Eileen had taken lying on the road, sparkling.
I closed my eyes tightly and increased my speed.
My blind consciousness drifted back and forth. Perhaps it was almost like a blank slate. I glimpsed Eileen and Maria's mouths in the darkness, as if they were shouting something, but I couldn't even think of getting up from my seat.
They took my hand and helped me up.
“Princess! You must evacuate immediately!”
Led by Eileen and Maria, I busily moved my legs. The path was dark, devoid of even a single dim streetlight. I felt like I was wandering somewhere far away. As I passed through the garden and crossed the bridge over the lake, two men, both muscular and dressed in uniforms, approached me. The tall man spoke.
“It is Her Majesty the Queen’s order. We will serve the Princess.”
Maria blocked my path, narrowing her eyes to examine me. She studied the two standing in the darkness, then let out a dry voice.
"Please identify yourself. I cannot entrust the Princess of a country to people whose identities I don't even know."
“This is Sergeant Alphonse Radhill of the 3rd Guards Infantry Battalion, Capital Defense Command.”
“I don’t know you, so could you show me your military ID?”
“There is no time for this in this emergency, Baroness Maria Cates.”
“Please present your identification. Otherwise, in accordance with royal decree, I will fire live rounds to protect the royal family.”
Maria took out her pistol and aimed it at them.
Before I knew it, my eyes had become accustomed to the darkness, and I could vaguely see their faces. Just as the man, with his expression filled with rage, jerked his chin, a sharp gunshot rang out near my ear.
“Maria?”
Maria, who had been protecting me, collapsed, clutching her chest. I couldn't immediately comprehend the situation. From the moment I heard the alarm, I was out of my mind, in a state of panic. Without thinking, I pulled out my gun. The man who had shot Maria wore a look of disgust and contempt born of jealousy. All my thoughts raced.
"I cannot allow a half-breed with Belfordian blood to succeed to the throne. You would tarnish Medea's legitimacy..."
It was not a sermon or a rebuttal, but a barrage of gunfire that silenced the mockery of the man with his superiority ideology.
The recoil was so intense that it made my wrist tingle as I held the pistol. The agonizing scream of being pierced by a bullet that carried a fierce crackling sound. My senses were sharp, but my emotions were numb, like being shot at a flickering moon shadow.
"You worthless mongrel. The Queen didn't lose you—she deliberately cast you aside. She decided a Medea orphan was better than a half-breed!"
"You're still breathing. I guess it's because I didn't practice hard enough."
Because I thought I wouldn't have to shoot.
A third gunshot drowned out my emotionless mutterings.
I have no humanity left to feel guilt toward them. Such leeway is only possible when safety is a prerequisite. I am not weak, and I do not need protection.
Eileen, her face pale, examined Maria's collapsed condition. Maria struggled to open her eyelids.
“Sir Eileen, take the Princess and escape.”
"Baroness Cates, the bullet has penetrated your heart. You can't speak. The bleeding is getting worse. I'll call someone."
Eileen wiped away her tears and jumped to her feet, pulling out a small flare for a distress signal. Maria grabbed her arm, as if to stop her. Panting, Maria clutched her chest with one hand and offered Eileen advice.
"Eileen Russell, have you forgotten the air raid code of conduct? Leave me behind. Remember your priorities."
I shook my head stubbornly.
“No, I’m not leaving Maria behind.”
Eileen nodded in agreement with what I said, helped Maria up, and spoke.
"There will be more people after the Princess. They may be disguised as guards or bodyguards searching for you, so I think it would be best to head straight to the villa shelter."
Maria's hand was clutching her left breast tightly. Her entire lavender top was dyed crimson, and the blood flowing through her trembling fingers soon soaked the hem of her skirt. A gloomy premonition filled me, but I forced myself to brace her neck.
“Just hold on a little longer.”
Eileen and I started walking, supporting her.
“To Princess Diana... God bless you.”
Maria's feeble voice sounded like a farewell from afar. I pretended not to hear. I bit my lip and walked down the pitch-black road.
Near the entrance to the access road next to the carriage and vehicle depot, a figure, barely hanging on, dropped its head. The feeling of its soul slipping away, the weight of death, was palpable. The moment the sound of its labored footsteps turned into a dragging sound, a chill ran down my spine. Even though it was an empty shell, its soul gone, the weight became unbearable, making it impossible to take any more steps.
“Princess. Baroness Cates has already...”
Eileen choked back tears, trailing off. The dresses we were wearing were already so red they were almost impossible to tell from their white. I leaned Maria against the tree and collapsed. My legs felt so weak I couldn't move any further.
“Wake up, wake up.”
Eileen, pleading, grabbed my arm and pulled me up, dragging me into the vehicle storage area. It was in the opposite direction from the villa. Her face was turned away, but I couldn't see her. I could tell from her trembling shoulders and sobbing voice that she was barely holding back tears.
“I’m sorry for pulling your arm sore.”
“No need to be sorry.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t do anything while Baroness Cates was dying. I’m a coward.”
“I did that too.”
What should I do now? I felt completely at a standstill. Eileen slowly turned to me, as if trying to give me the answer.
"Princess, do you remember what I told you before? If the maid had told me the truth, I wouldn't have regretted losing him."
“I remember.”
“Actually, there were many choices before that.”
“What choice?”
“If I hadn’t studied hard as a child, if I hadn’t been adopted into the Russell family, if I had left the orphanage with him and made my own way in life, I would have been able to live independently.”
Eileen, who had been listing her life's regrets in a memoir, clasped her hands to her chest and took a deep breath. Her gaze, seemingly resolved, focused on me, sharpening.
"In a life filled with regrets, I now have the opportunity to make the right choice, like my sister. It's a night when the moon and stars are hidden."
“What on earth are you trying to say...?”
I asked her with a blank expression. Her hazel eyes, once filled with tears, now took on a different color, twinkling like stars. She seemed somehow relieved.
"My mother, Captain Russell, is from the Grandis family, high in the line of succession. She intended to take this opportunity to overthrow the Princess and end the Spencer royal line. In fact, I, too... went along with her plan, seeking revenge after losing my sister and that man. I believed it was the Spencer royal family's fault."
Eileen removed the tiara from my head and placed it on her own. Was that a sign of betrayal? I stood rigidly, waiting for her conclusion.
"But after spending time with the Princess, I no longer want to do that. I guess I'm not a very toxic person."
Eileen, wearing my blue sash and medals, tilted her head and smiled.
"I hope Princess Diana doesn't regret it like I did. I've decided to stop judging by appearances and decide for myself what's right. Leave the palace, get in your car, and head to your old mansion. There must be someone you've been waiting for."
There's someone I miss at the mansion. Could it be Noah's return? I swallowed hard as I gazed at her, her hair cut to the same length as mine, her height similar to mine, and her clothes of the same color. Then I asked her.
“Eileen, what is your sister’s name?”
Eileen, who had been standing at the garage door, turned around and smiled brightly at me.
“Raenier. We’re from the same orphanage.”
My eyes were dizzy. With those last words, she opened the door and ran out without a moment for me to stop her.
***
"Renier."
I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. I recalled Eileen's words. Despite being given many opportunities throughout my life, I'd always made dishonest choices. I'd thought following my emotions was the reckless and foolish thing to do. I placed a hand on my heart. Looking back, I'd rarely made decisions based on my heart's dictates. Therefore, I'd always been stagnant.
“I’m going to Noah.”
Because I'm not some Princess just waiting to be rescued. Like Noah, who left everything behind to come to me, I wanted to do something crazy like that.
I climbed into the car gifted to me by the Ventner chairman and left the garage. It was a ceremonial vehicle made from armored vehicle material, so it would be able to defend against gunfire.
The moment I entered the path leading to the back gate, a faint, bluish-white gleam shimmered at the end of the dim headlights. Only upon closer inspection did I realize it was the hem of a satin dress fluttering in the north wind. Looking directly at me with solemn eyes was Queen Grace II. She was alone, and she clutched a long rifle in one hand.
I stood in front of the stopped car, facing the Queen as if in a confrontation. Blood splattered across the stomach marker on her jacket, like a red flower embroidered on it, was clear. Couldn't she have mistaken Eileen for me and shot her? A chill ran down my chest as I recalled her final moments. The Queen, as if trying to reassure me, placed her rifle on the ground. I got out of the driver's seat and asked her.
“If I leave, will you kill me?”
The Queen smiled sadly at my calm tone.
"No. I always tried to save you. Are you hurt?"
'Did she come looking for me alone?' The gentle voice made me feel strange. She spoke again, facing me, who remained silent.
"The outside world, engulfed in war, is extremely dangerous. So don't leave this place."
“It doesn’t matter. As Your Majesty has acknowledged, I am not ordinary.”
"You're being a jerk. We don't know what's going to happen. The war will continue, and you could face a miserable life, constantly in danger of losing your life, unable to eat or wash properly. And everyone is out to kill you. Do you think you can handle it?"
I answered briefly without avoiding her eyes.
"Yes."
“My child, you have lived a noble life as a royal descendant...”
The Queen, realizing her slip of the tongue, flinched and closed her mouth. Embarrassment filled her jade eyes. I knew she still hadn't forgotten Erita.
"I wasn't raised with protection or care. This body survived that environment. If Erita had grown up knowing nothing but the emptiness of her heart, she wouldn't have been able to do it, but I can."
A crack appeared on the Queen's beautiful lips as she recalled the unfortunate history of the human being called 'Diana'.
Of course, I hadn't personally experienced it, but I could endure the misfortunes etched into every corner of my body, building a foundation of endurance. Even the twenty years of my intense life are unknown to anyone in this world. I was no longer afraid. It was just that nothing had driven me until now. The Queen tried to calmly persuade me.
"But the risks we face as royalty are on a different level than before. I faced them countless times when I was your age. I lived a cruel life, carrying you in my womb without any family to care for me. You have no idea how precarious our positions are."
"If you don't know, you can learn. When faced with a real situation, there's nothing you can't do. Humans are creatures of adaptation."
I recalled the cynical advice the Queen had once given me. Feeling a sense of relief, I chuckled without covering my mouth.
"If you don't know, you can learn. Even if you despair at failure, you'll start over, and eventually adapt and find a way."
"Diana, the human heart isn't eternal. What if Noah changes his mind or betrays you?"
"Your Majesty might even abandon me. How can I trust you? After Erita's safety came into question, you broke your promise not to send Noah to war?"
"That couldn't be true. Noah's decision to go to war was a joint decision with him. It was the best course of action for both of you. At the time, I thought you were the one who cut off Erita's finger, but even if you were, would I have sent your husband to war for that simple reason? I couldn't even be sure he was sincere to you. I've been deceived by love, lost my family, and been betrayed."
The past left deep scars that wouldn't fade even after decades, the lonely years she endured as Queen, protecting the child she carried alone at a young age. I understand her feelings. Love was terrifying to her. It returned with the death of her family, deception, and betrayal. Given that, it's understandable why she hasn't been able to submit a letter of state. But not all people are the same. Noah is different from Admiral Claire. He once said he could destroy this place. He offered me the option of taking Medea, killing the Queen, and living with me, but he respected my opinion and refused. That's why Noah and I, who chose peace here, are now facing the trials we face today. Just as evil is easy and good is difficult, walking the path of goodness and justice is like walking a thorny path barefoot. The Queen embraced me as I stood there without answering and patted me on the back.
"We're family, and I love you now that I've finally found you. I'm sorry. Won't you give me another chance? I don't want you to get hurt."
"Love? If we follow Your Majesty's empirical philosophy, I could say I don't believe in parental love, citing the experience of the admiral who tried to kill his own daughter, even though he was my biological father."
I returned it with the same coldness as a Queen who had been forcing and preaching to me. She had previously chosen Erita over me, her own daughter. I added with a dry expression.
“You already rejected me back then, didn’t you?”
The Queen's lips parted, and her eyes opened wide.
I know well that the bond forged through raising someone runs deeper than that of birth. Her daughter was Erita, and the Queen loved Erita as a mother.
“I’m going to Noah.”
Because I'm not some Princess just waiting to be rescued. Like Noah, who left everything behind to come to me, I wanted to do something crazy like that.
I climbed into the car gifted to me by the Ventner chairman and left the garage. It was a ceremonial vehicle made from armored vehicle material, so it would be able to defend against gunfire.
The moment I entered the path leading to the back gate, a faint, bluish-white gleam shimmered at the end of the dim headlights. Only upon closer inspection did I realize it was the hem of a satin dress fluttering in the north wind. Looking directly at me with solemn eyes was Queen Grace II. She was alone, and she clutched a long rifle in one hand.
I stood in front of the stopped car, facing the Queen as if in a confrontation. Blood splattered across the stomach marker on her jacket, like a red flower embroidered on it, was clear. Couldn't she have mistaken Eileen for me and shot her? A chill ran down my chest as I recalled her final moments. The Queen, as if trying to reassure me, placed her rifle on the ground. I got out of the driver's seat and asked her.
“If I leave, will you kill me?”
The Queen smiled sadly at my calm tone.
"No. I always tried to save you. Are you hurt?"
'Did she come looking for me alone?' The gentle voice made me feel strange. She spoke again, facing me, who remained silent.
"The outside world, engulfed in war, is extremely dangerous. So don't leave this place."
“It doesn’t matter. As Your Majesty has acknowledged, I am not ordinary.”
"You're being a jerk. We don't know what's going to happen. The war will continue, and you could face a miserable life, constantly in danger of losing your life, unable to eat or wash properly. And everyone is out to kill you. Do you think you can handle it?"
I answered briefly without avoiding her eyes.
"Yes."
“My child, you have lived a noble life as a royal descendant...”
The Queen, realizing her slip of the tongue, flinched and closed her mouth. Embarrassment filled her jade eyes. I knew she still hadn't forgotten Erita.
"I wasn't raised with protection or care. This body survived that environment. If Erita had grown up knowing nothing but the emptiness of her heart, she wouldn't have been able to do it, but I can."
A crack appeared on the Queen's beautiful lips as she recalled the unfortunate history of the human being called 'Diana'.
Of course, I hadn't personally experienced it, but I could endure the misfortunes etched into every corner of my body, building a foundation of endurance. Even the twenty years of my intense life are unknown to anyone in this world. I was no longer afraid. It was just that nothing had driven me until now. The Queen tried to calmly persuade me.
"But the risks we face as royalty are on a different level than before. I faced them countless times when I was your age. I lived a cruel life, carrying you in my womb without any family to care for me. You have no idea how precarious our positions are."
"If you don't know, you can learn. When faced with a real situation, there's nothing you can't do. Humans are creatures of adaptation."
I recalled the cynical advice the Queen had once given me. Feeling a sense of relief, I chuckled without covering my mouth.
"If you don't know, you can learn. Even if you despair at failure, you'll start over, and eventually adapt and find a way."
"Diana, the human heart isn't eternal. What if Noah changes his mind or betrays you?"
"Your Majesty might even abandon me. How can I trust you? After Erita's safety came into question, you broke your promise not to send Noah to war?"
"That couldn't be true. Noah's decision to go to war was a joint decision with him. It was the best course of action for both of you. At the time, I thought you were the one who cut off Erita's finger, but even if you were, would I have sent your husband to war for that simple reason? I couldn't even be sure he was sincere to you. I've been deceived by love, lost my family, and been betrayed."
The past left deep scars that wouldn't fade even after decades, the lonely years she endured as Queen, protecting the child she carried alone at a young age. I understand her feelings. Love was terrifying to her. It returned with the death of her family, deception, and betrayal. Given that, it's understandable why she hasn't been able to submit a letter of state. But not all people are the same. Noah is different from Admiral Claire. He once said he could destroy this place. He offered me the option of taking Medea, killing the Queen, and living with me, but he respected my opinion and refused. That's why Noah and I, who chose peace here, are now facing the trials we face today. Just as evil is easy and good is difficult, walking the path of goodness and justice is like walking a thorny path barefoot. The Queen embraced me as I stood there without answering and patted me on the back.
"We're family, and I love you now that I've finally found you. I'm sorry. Won't you give me another chance? I don't want you to get hurt."
"Love? If we follow Your Majesty's empirical philosophy, I could say I don't believe in parental love, citing the experience of the admiral who tried to kill his own daughter, even though he was my biological father."
I returned it with the same coldness as a Queen who had been forcing and preaching to me. She had previously chosen Erita over me, her own daughter. I added with a dry expression.
“You already rejected me back then, didn’t you?”
The Queen's lips parted, and her eyes opened wide.
I know well that the bond forged through raising someone runs deeper than that of birth. Her daughter was Erita, and the Queen loved Erita as a mother.
"Erita was loved by Your Majesty even though she wasn't perfect. Compared to her, I was a perfect Princess, so you kept me by your side out of necessity."
"You misunderstood. I was so cruel to you; it was all to protect you. If your qualifications as a successor were questioned, you would die. I hoped you would pull yourself together and become stronger."
From the moment it was revealed I was the Princess, my life was like a rag on a string, ready to be blown away by the wind at any moment. Everyone was waiting for an opportunity to catch me. Noah risked his life to go to war, even at the risk of divorce. The Queen, who had become a villain and threatened to make me the rightful Princess, was all for this very reason. Even though I understood that it was all for my own good, I was sick and tired of it. I hated the way my life and everything precious to me were being tossed around in the balance.
You even gave up on Erita, whom you truly loved. Should I be any different? I remained cynical.
"Yes, I understand. In my head. The same goes for your Majesty and my relationship."
Her cold hand grabbed mine and squeezed it.
"My dear, you're the only one left for me. Where are you going, leaving me behind, with a stable life, power, and status all in your hands?"
There was a desperate trembling in her voice. I silently looked down at my feet, then raised my head again.
"Your Majesty, would you give up everything for me? Would you declare that I'm a half-blood, born to Officer Belford, and hand over the throne to another royal family, and become a normal mother?"
The Queen ultimately remained silent. Knowing she had chosen the throne over me, I concluded.
"Noah did. He may have said he didn't love me, but he always cared for me more than anyone else in the world, more than myself. Just as Your Majesty has priorities in life, so do I. Right now, other things take priority over the throne."
I raised my head and looked at the Queen. She, too, was human and feared the loneliness of being left alone. But I couldn't satisfy her greed and need. Neither could she.
“And we are not family.”
Her eyes darkened with sorrow at my last words. I don't know whether she took it as a declaration of severance or something else. She extended a hand to me. A rose diamond necklace was wrapped around her pale fingers.
“Is that your necklace? Boaz was holding it.”
I took the necklace with both hands and stepped back, bowing politely as if saying goodbye.
“Thank you. Please take good care of Boaz.”
“You're still young, and it will be a very long time before you inherit the throne.”
The Queen, who had been mumbling in a resigned tone, opened her eyes and smiled kindly.
“...Come back anytime. I’ll be waiting.”
This was the end of our deal.
I got into the car and drove down the road I'd chosen. The Queen, standing like a white ghost in the rearview mirror, appeared. The farther away she got, the more dim she became, like a fading oblivion worn away by time.
As I was passing by, throwing away the memories and relationships I had made while living as royalty, I saw the tiara that Eileen had taken lying on the road, sparkling.
I closed my eyes tightly and increased my speed.
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