In the end, things broke out.
"Senior!"
On the way to the back door of the west building, where all major classes are held, a senior stumbled and ended up hitting a nearby tree.
I wasn't the only one who saw him, and his classmates supported him.
"Hey, why are you doing that?"
"Senior, why are you doing that?"
"Look at the cold sweat, don't you need to go to the hospital?"
My senior pointed out that I was hesitant to approach him.
"Junior, can you help me?"
"Hey, how can a junior support you? I'll help you, so let's go. You don't have the next class, so even if it's a hospital-"
"Please."
His eyes were drawn to me in a faint but earnest voice.
"Uh... Ok. If only you wanted it that way."
Although the eyes of his classmates who supported him faded, they helped me to support him.
"It's heavy."
My senior laughed at my muttering.
Fortunately, no one heard it, and there was no response, so we left.
As if he had recovered somewhat while walking, at some point, he was able to walk alone.
We walked to a less-frequented walking path and sat down. The only sounds we heard were the rustling of leaves in the wind and the occasional chirping of birds.
"What, senior? Where does it hurt?"
"I told you. It will be in vain."
"Are you going to disappear from this world?"
"That's correct."
Until this point, I was overwhelmed with negative emotions by the senior's seemingly relaxed appearance.
"I'm annoyed."
Fortunately, he didn't hear my muttering, but he didn't say anything that touched my nerves.
"If you look sick and flicker in front of me, do you think something will change?"
"I don't expect my juniors to change. You're the one who came back calmly from 'there."
"Of course, I have to come back without incident. What should I do?"
I tried to speak calmly, but the words kept coming out of my mouth.
It's all been like this since I went there.
I was displeased because of the world in the book that left a useless mark on my life. I don't want to believe that it exists, but I couldn't even push it away because the Crown Prince was right in front of me.
"We had an unfortunate past. That's also by my juniors."
I couldn't refute it because it was true.
"So I thought my junior might not come back."
"Why?"
"Because of guilt."
Suddenly, my teeth ground out of their own accord.
"While I wanted my junior to return to your original world, I also wanted you to be there. If my junior stays there, I think you will open your heart even a little."
The senior didn't care about my attitude and said what he wanted to say.
"I wonder if I will have a chance too... I had that kind of hope."
"I'm sorry, but I'm back. Without any emotion."
I stood up and stood in front of my senior. A pale face filled my vision, but I tried to ignore it.
"It's a pity. I have no intention of saving my senior at all."
I left without looking back.
It wasn't until I reached the point where my senior couldn't hear my voice that I was able to vent my anger.
"I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed!"
I see myself reflected in the window of a building on the road I was passing by.
My features are overly clear, my body shape is different from before, and I have an aura that is indescribable but different from the people around me.
My extremely monotonous and peaceful life was a mess. I tried to maintain my composure, but my changed appearance keeps bringing back the past.
I feel like a very strange person who has given the characters in the book an unfortunate past and physical defects.
"No, I'm a weird person."
Distrustful of people, and cruelly indifferent.
"Ha..."
I felt bad because it seemed like my true self, which I had been hiding so far, was revealed.
***
I still felt like a character out of a book, but a week or more passed without anything.
My senior didn't go out of his way to run into me, so I rarely had to say hello.
As usual, the assignments piled in, and the exam period was just around the corner. I forgot about it.
One day, when I sat down to stay up all night in the library, I received a call from a senior I knew. After hearing his situation, I couldn't help but ask.
"What?"
- This is the emergency room at our school hospital. That kid is unconscious and keeps calling your name.
An emergency room? Is it that dangerous?
Is he going to disappear soon?
I was more anxious to see him disappear into thin air than to worry about my seniors' safety.
Is it a metaphor or a fact?
So I packed my luggage and staggered to the emergency room.
"I wonder if someone's in danger will turn into bubbles, and I'm curious about that too."
While laughing at myself.
It was still hot, but it was quite chilly after sunset.
The hospital was cold even though I had to climb uphill after school, and I wore the cardigan I was carrying.
Most of the lights in the stores, except for convenience stores, were turned off, and only the autumn sand was spread on the street floor.
"It's already this season."
It was in the summer that I went to 'that world'. The season when the sun was so dazzling that it was resentful.
I felt better because the gloomy and cold season seemed to suit me better.
Thanks to my quick pace, I was able to reach the emergency room in about 20 minutes.
"Are you here? He has just regained consciousness."
On the bed in the corner of the emergency room, my senior was lying, slowly blinking.
"I'll go, so just talk."
Before I could dissuade him, the senior in the department left the emergency room.
"If you're going to pass out, you'll faint quietly. Why do you call my name? It's annoying."
"If you were annoyed, I told you not to come."
"Then you're going to be a bad boy, right? I still have a lot of days to go to school, but I don't want to make things that will bother me."
"That's what my junior was."
A faint smile appeared on the corner of the senior's mouth. It is dry like a fallen leaf that seems to fall quickly when the wind blows.
The thought that he was going to die at any moment made me feel a chill in my heart.
"Senior, are you really going to die?"
Then."
His face and fingers were white enough to scatter in the air in an instant...
It was transparent.
I don't think it's strange if it turns into dust and disappears right away.
"Really? Is it a person?"
"I'm someone from a book."
I know better than anyone else that 'that world' exists. Since there is a world in a book, it doesn't make sense for people to be scattered to death like bubbles.
The senior's fingertips gradually faded and seemed to disappear as they talked.
Someone is dying.
Even though a man was dying in front of me, I couldn't say that I loved him. I couldn't even ask him to have a relationship with me; that was just words.
"Junior."
"Yes?"
My voice cracked slightly at the sudden break of silence.
"When I die, everyone will forget me, but I want my juniors to remember me."
Blue eyes, which were originally silver-gray, stare at me intently
"No. I hope you will never forget me for the rest of your life."
"..."
"I hope you don't forget that it was my junior who killed me. You won't be able to meet anyone else, and you will forever be tormented by the gloomy shadow I left behind."
Beneath his calm eyes, madness was swirling.
Slowly, the big hand that held my hand was very cold. Really, it was gradually disappearing from the tips of his fingers.
Do you want to let this man die like this?
I just hate having a deep relationship with someone. No one will understand this dark and twisted side of me.
But if this man knows my shortcomings and shame, wouldn't it be okay for me to have a deeper relationship?
Since he is a man who wants me so much, I don't think he will leave even if he knows what kind of person I am.
"Senior."
"Why?
"Let's meet properly."
"...What?"
As if he didn't expect this story to come out of my mouth, the senior's eyes widened.
"Even if you ask me to love you right away, I won't be able to do that, and I'll try, so let's meet."
"..."
"You begged for help. I want to fall in love."
I saw my senior's hand that had just disappeared.
"What are you going to do? Are you going to fall in love with me or not?"
"I will."
Lying down, he stood up and tilted his upper body towards me.
"Let's do it with me, love."
Before he finished speaking, his hand returned as if nothing had happened.
I clasped my hands together.
"Welcome to my world."
Comments
Post a Comment