His long, graceful fingers skillfully applied the red fruit that shone like a jewel.
I ate it continuously, and I carefully examined his face as it was reflected in the light.
Even though he cared for me as carefully as he cared for a baby bird. Barcas still had a mask-like face that was difficult to understand.
Previously, I was curious about what was beyond it, and I was on the verge of death. But now it was okay.
I put my hand on my lower belly and pressed it slightly. The uterus, which began to swell tightly under the thin layer of skin, was palpable.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I couldn't let go of my mind for a moment because I was afraid that my child would go wrong.
After I found out that I had a bad constitution, I was even more anxious. Even a slight pull in the lower belly caused fear that the child might be at fault, and every minute change in the body was considered an ominous sign.
Unexpectedly, what reassured me was a healer from the Sheerkan family.
Maybe it's because I've lost a child in the past, I knew better than anyone what to watch out for.
I, who was initially a little reluctant, gradually took her advice to heart. I thought that if something was wrong with my child, my life might be blown away, and I would make the same mistake again.
In any case, the knowledge of the Eastern healer was quite useful, and thanks to this, I was able to regain my stability little by little. And when I had more room in my heart, I was able to fully concentrate on the existence of my child.
'This is enough... Is it about the size of a fist?'
Chewing on the pomegranate egg he handed me, I carefully traced the outline of my slightly hardened belly.
It was just a child out of necessity. I calculated that if I gave birth to the heir to the Grand Duke of Sheerkan, even the East would not dare to abandon me, and even if Gareth ascended the throne in the future, the child would become my shield.
I had no idea that a being that was only for self-protection would be so curious.
I imagined in my mind a small creature growing in my belly.
Is he small and cute like a fairy child?
By now, he may have hair or eyes. If so, what color does it have?
Maybe he has dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes like me. Or like Barcas, he may have light blonde hair and blue eyes, scattered with silver sculptures.
Either way, he's sure to be the most beautiful person in the world.
My curiosity grew day by day.
The baby's appearance, voice, and personality. I was curious about everything. I couldn't think of anything else. Even the existence of Barcas, who always occupied most of the consciousness, was pushed to the back burner.
"You know. What would you do if a girl were born?"
I, who was in a languid daydream and was fiddling with the pomegranate egg he handed me, suddenly asked.
Before I knew it, I had eaten all the pomegranates and picked up the new pomegranate, and Barcas glanced at her.
His brows were seriously narrowed. It was a stranger who had never thought about the gender of a child.
Suddenly, anxiety came over.
Isn't Barcas as curious about this child as I am?
As a result, he would often put me on his lap and caress my belly, but he never said anything about the child.
Perhaps his interest is solely in the successor who will succeed him.
As if to drive a nail into such fear, Barcas muttered in a low voice.
"...I don't even want to think about it."
I froze in shock.
Barcas, who was staring down at the knife used to peel pomegranates, added quietly.
"If she looks like you, she will be surrounded by all sorts of trash. Just dealing with them is not going to be normal."
I shrank my shoulders unconsciously.
The murmur with a hint of disturbance made me worried rather than angry.
It seemed that if a girl who looked like me were born, she would really be a target for all kinds of beasts. A kind of fear washed over the family that he had never experienced before.
I, who stood up with her upper body up, spoke urgently.
"That's why you have to protect her thoroughly. Your role is to always be by her side to protect her from harm."
Barkas looked back at me, wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. He wondered why I was asking for such an obvious thing.
He nodded calmly.
"Of course I intend to do that. It is the duty of the family to protect and take care of the daughter until she finds and forms a reliable husband."
"Don't say anything strange, never let her get married."
Suddenly, my voice rose.
I, who was glaring at him with the corners of my eyes raised, wrapped my arms around my stomach and shouted angrily, fearing that someone would take it away.
"I'll take her with me for the rest of my life. Never, never, never send her anywhere."
Barcas's eyes widened a little.
It wasn't until he saw it that I noticed that my voice was mixed with crying. I couldn't figure out why my eyes were suddenly getting hot.
I bit my trembling lips and soon began to spit out something stuck in my throat.
"I will never leave my baby alone in a strange place. I won't make her tremble in fear among strangers, and I won't make her feel lonely alone. Always, always, I'll be by her side. I'll hug her every night and keep her safe."
The words that flowed out like a soul almost sobbed at the end. Without even feeling ashamed of that fact, something like a fireball continued to rise from inside.
I frantically tugged at Barcas's sleeve.
"You have to do the same."
He could see a faintly hardened face through the overflowing tears.
I waved his arm and urged him to answer.
"Come on, say I'll do that."
The man, who seemed to be panicked by the sudden burst of crying, threw down what he was holding and climbed onto the bed.
I sat on his lap as if it were a matter of course. His long., stiff arms went straight around my back.
"I will."
A heavy, sinking voice fell on the top of my head.
I grabbed the hem of his clothes and stared into his pale blue eyes.
"Can you swear?"
"I swear."
"You made a promise to me. You will protect my baby no matter what."
A calloused thumb wiped away tears from the corners of my eyes. A slightly rough voice poured down my forehead.
"Yes. I'll do everything you say, so stop crying."
I pursed my lips.
I wanted to beat him even harder.
You should always put your child first, more than Gareth, more than Ayla.
I swallowed the words that were up to my throat.
If he refused even one thing, I would not be able to bear it.
I, who was swallowing my tears, soon wrapped my arms around the nape of his neck and let out old sobs on his rock-hard shoulders.
"Even if he's a boy.... I'll take him with me. I won't send him to the Imperial court or the temple."
I felt a tight grip on my hand wrapped around my back.
Barcas muttered in a heavily sunken voice.
"Yes. Whether it's a daughter or a son, let's take him with us for the rest of our lives."
For some reason, those words made me feel even more excited.
I rubbed my wet cheeks against the taut and swollen nape of his neck. Barcas gently patted me on the back.
It was like a promise that everything would be fine, that there would be no more painful or sad things.
I eagerly wanted to believe in that promise.
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