I was startled and looked at where the sword had been.
As if Karl had never opened the door and come in, the door to my room was quietly closed, and Karl was nowhere to be seen.
It seemed like he ran away quickly as soon as he heard Callius's presence.
Callius looked around the room and asked.
“Were you alone, Chloe?”
I nodded, sighing in relief.
“Yes, I was alone the whole time.”
“I thought there were other people there because I heard conversations.”
I felt a sting, but I tried to act calm and shook my head.
“Oh, no. No. I was alone.”
“Is that so?”
Fortunately, Callius didn't take it seriously and didn't ask for more details.
Instead, he looked into my face and asked in surprise.
“Did you cry?”
"Oh."
I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled awkwardly.
“Oh, that’s... I’m sorry. You keep seeing me crying.”
How many times has he seen me cry already?
At this point, I was worried that even Callius would get sick of it and say he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Do you think crying will solve everything? Stop bothering me. It only takes a couple of tries to comfort me."
Andrea's voice, vividly etched in my memory, suddenly came to mind.
Andrea's words were engraved in my bones and would come to mind unconsciously like this.
He may have said it without thinking, but his words left a huge scar on my heart and have tormented me for the rest of my life, even now that I have started a new life.
I tried to erase the traces of my tears with a smile, hoping that Callius would ignore it and move on.
But Callius didn't ignore my tears and just ignore them.
“Are you upset about Vanessa’s situation?”
"Yes, I figured it out, okay? I'm fine."
"How could anyone be okay? No one would be unfazed by the thought of such a terrible thing happening to someone close to them."
"But... Vanessa was just a really nasty piece of shit. She was a Kavala operative, and her every word was incredibly hateful. We weren't even close, and I didn't rely on her. So why would I care?"
Yeah, that's right. Weirdly, I'm crying because of Vanessa.
It was something I said to appear strong, but it was also something I used to whip myself.
"Don't cry over this, Chloe. Strangely, you're crying over Vanessa. She was an enemy."
I tried to force out this gloomy feeling that had filled my chest without knowing why.
But Callius did not agree with me.
“Apart from that, it’s natural to feel lonely and strange when someone you saw every day suddenly dies and disappears.”
“...!”
"The greatest fear of all living, breathing beings is death. Chloe, you witnessed the end of someone's life, someone who was alive and breathing until last night, until this morning."
"Yes..."
“It’s natural to feel strange and scared.”
“Is that so...?”
It made sense.
My inner self, agreeing with his words, put down the whip I was swinging at myself.
'What I felt was fear.'
Just noticing my feelings made me feel better.
"It's natural to feel fear and struggle. It's okay. It's not strange."
Why do I feel so relieved when I think about it like that?
Callius smiled and handed me a handkerchief as I sniffled and tears welled up in my eyes.
“It was truly amazing how calmly you identified the culprit even in such a frightening and difficult situation.”
I looked up at him, forgetting about my pride, wiping my tears and snot with my handkerchief.
“Oh, really?”
"Yes. Not just anyone could have done that. Well done."
“Really?”
“It’s true.”
Tears streamed down my face.
I burst into tears like a child and hugged Callius tightly.
I was doing to Callius what I had been trying to do to Karl earlier.
I was receiving comfort from Callius, which I should have received from Karl.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that I had only received such comfort from Karl and that I had handed over that position to Callius.
'Is this okay?'
Karl had warned me not to trust Callius, but no matter how determined I was, I would let my guard down when I was with Callius.
'No matter how much I think about it, this person seems like a good person.'
Anyone who could offer such comfort must have been a good person.
I decided to trust my judgment this time, too, just as I had trusted my judgment the other day to identify the culprit.
'The me before and the me now are different.'
In the past, I had no choice but to trust people I shouldn't trust, but that's no longer the case.
“I have decided that you are trustworthy and that I will trust you, so I will speak with the determination to take responsibility for the consequences.”
When Granada said that, I thought she was a wonderful person.
'I want to be a cool person too.'
So, at this moment, I made a firm decision to trust Callius, and I was prepared to take responsibility for my choice, whatever the outcome.
'I'll make it clear to Karl. He needs to know that I've changed.'
By the way, where is Karl, who disappeared in a hurry because of Callius, and what is he doing now?
The next morning.
Was it thanks to Callius's comfort?
I woke up after a long sleep.
I must have slept so soundly yesterday that I didn't even feel the cold that torments me every night.
I felt refreshed.
'It's strange. I can't open my eyes.'
My mind was clearly refreshed, but my eyelids were very heavy.
I rubbed my eyes and stretched.
Looking around, I saw that Callius's seat was empty as usual.
It seemed like he got up early every morning and went to practice without missing a single day.
I can't wake up as early as Callius, so I've never been able to say hello to him in the morning.
Thinking that was a bit of a shame, I got up and went to the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall.
After seeing my appearance, I quickly changed my mind.
'I'm glad I didn't say hello in the morning...!'
It was because my eyelids were swollen like a fat caterpillar.
I was embarrassed and glared at my face in the mirror.
“Why are mt eyes like that? They’re disgusting!”
I guess it was because I cried a lot in Callius's arms last night.
In an instant, today's schedule flashed through my mind.
Thinking about the countless people I would meet today, I was so at a loss that I collapsed back onto the bed.
“My eyes...”
I crawled across the bed, lay back down, and pulled the covers over me.
I had absolutely no confidence in going out in this state.
'I have to pretend to be sick.'
Since I came to Ronheim, I'd often been sick and bedridden, so no one would have thought it strange.
It was when I was pretending to be asleep with my eyes tightly closed.
Knock knock.
"Madam, it's me, Lamia. I'm going in."
Lamia knocked, came in, and pulled back the curtain.
She opened the window to ventilate the room, then raked the ashes from the fireplace and carried them outside.
The bitterly cold wind of Ronheim quickly penetrated even the thick blanket.
Although I was huddled up because it was cold, the wind of Ronheim, which carried a chill, had a very refreshing smell and felt good.
Lamia returned soon after, stacking the new firewood she'd brought from outside next to the fireplace, and then shook me awake.
“Madam, please wake up.”
I dug deeper into the blankets so as not to show my face to Lamia.
“Ugh... Lamia, today I...”
I was just about to say that I was feeling unwell and needed to rest.
Lamia cut me off abruptly, speaking in a tone of seriousness unlike usual.
“Madam, I have something to tell you.”
"Huh...?"
“I’ve been thinking about it all night, but I feel like I should tell you right now.”
Her voice was full of power, as if she were about to say something great.
It was an atmosphere where it was impossible to feign illness and postpone it until later.
Eventually, I had no choice but to kick the blanket off and get up.
“What is it...?”
As if Karl had never opened the door and come in, the door to my room was quietly closed, and Karl was nowhere to be seen.
It seemed like he ran away quickly as soon as he heard Callius's presence.
Callius looked around the room and asked.
“Were you alone, Chloe?”
I nodded, sighing in relief.
“Yes, I was alone the whole time.”
“I thought there were other people there because I heard conversations.”
I felt a sting, but I tried to act calm and shook my head.
“Oh, no. No. I was alone.”
“Is that so?”
Fortunately, Callius didn't take it seriously and didn't ask for more details.
Instead, he looked into my face and asked in surprise.
“Did you cry?”
"Oh."
I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled awkwardly.
“Oh, that’s... I’m sorry. You keep seeing me crying.”
How many times has he seen me cry already?
At this point, I was worried that even Callius would get sick of it and say he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Do you think crying will solve everything? Stop bothering me. It only takes a couple of tries to comfort me."
Andrea's voice, vividly etched in my memory, suddenly came to mind.
Andrea's words were engraved in my bones and would come to mind unconsciously like this.
He may have said it without thinking, but his words left a huge scar on my heart and have tormented me for the rest of my life, even now that I have started a new life.
I tried to erase the traces of my tears with a smile, hoping that Callius would ignore it and move on.
But Callius didn't ignore my tears and just ignore them.
“Are you upset about Vanessa’s situation?”
"Yes, I figured it out, okay? I'm fine."
"How could anyone be okay? No one would be unfazed by the thought of such a terrible thing happening to someone close to them."
"But... Vanessa was just a really nasty piece of shit. She was a Kavala operative, and her every word was incredibly hateful. We weren't even close, and I didn't rely on her. So why would I care?"
Yeah, that's right. Weirdly, I'm crying because of Vanessa.
It was something I said to appear strong, but it was also something I used to whip myself.
"Don't cry over this, Chloe. Strangely, you're crying over Vanessa. She was an enemy."
I tried to force out this gloomy feeling that had filled my chest without knowing why.
But Callius did not agree with me.
“Apart from that, it’s natural to feel lonely and strange when someone you saw every day suddenly dies and disappears.”
“...!”
"The greatest fear of all living, breathing beings is death. Chloe, you witnessed the end of someone's life, someone who was alive and breathing until last night, until this morning."
"Yes..."
“It’s natural to feel strange and scared.”
“Is that so...?”
It made sense.
My inner self, agreeing with his words, put down the whip I was swinging at myself.
'What I felt was fear.'
Just noticing my feelings made me feel better.
"It's natural to feel fear and struggle. It's okay. It's not strange."
Why do I feel so relieved when I think about it like that?
Callius smiled and handed me a handkerchief as I sniffled and tears welled up in my eyes.
“It was truly amazing how calmly you identified the culprit even in such a frightening and difficult situation.”
I looked up at him, forgetting about my pride, wiping my tears and snot with my handkerchief.
“Oh, really?”
"Yes. Not just anyone could have done that. Well done."
“Really?”
“It’s true.”
Tears streamed down my face.
I burst into tears like a child and hugged Callius tightly.
I was doing to Callius what I had been trying to do to Karl earlier.
I was receiving comfort from Callius, which I should have received from Karl.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that I had only received such comfort from Karl and that I had handed over that position to Callius.
'Is this okay?'
Karl had warned me not to trust Callius, but no matter how determined I was, I would let my guard down when I was with Callius.
'No matter how much I think about it, this person seems like a good person.'
Anyone who could offer such comfort must have been a good person.
I decided to trust my judgment this time, too, just as I had trusted my judgment the other day to identify the culprit.
'The me before and the me now are different.'
In the past, I had no choice but to trust people I shouldn't trust, but that's no longer the case.
“I have decided that you are trustworthy and that I will trust you, so I will speak with the determination to take responsibility for the consequences.”
When Granada said that, I thought she was a wonderful person.
'I want to be a cool person too.'
So, at this moment, I made a firm decision to trust Callius, and I was prepared to take responsibility for my choice, whatever the outcome.
'I'll make it clear to Karl. He needs to know that I've changed.'
By the way, where is Karl, who disappeared in a hurry because of Callius, and what is he doing now?
***
The next morning.
Was it thanks to Callius's comfort?
I woke up after a long sleep.
I must have slept so soundly yesterday that I didn't even feel the cold that torments me every night.
I felt refreshed.
'It's strange. I can't open my eyes.'
My mind was clearly refreshed, but my eyelids were very heavy.
I rubbed my eyes and stretched.
Looking around, I saw that Callius's seat was empty as usual.
It seemed like he got up early every morning and went to practice without missing a single day.
I can't wake up as early as Callius, so I've never been able to say hello to him in the morning.
Thinking that was a bit of a shame, I got up and went to the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall.
After seeing my appearance, I quickly changed my mind.
'I'm glad I didn't say hello in the morning...!'
It was because my eyelids were swollen like a fat caterpillar.
I was embarrassed and glared at my face in the mirror.
“Why are mt eyes like that? They’re disgusting!”
I guess it was because I cried a lot in Callius's arms last night.
In an instant, today's schedule flashed through my mind.
Thinking about the countless people I would meet today, I was so at a loss that I collapsed back onto the bed.
“My eyes...”
I crawled across the bed, lay back down, and pulled the covers over me.
I had absolutely no confidence in going out in this state.
'I have to pretend to be sick.'
Since I came to Ronheim, I'd often been sick and bedridden, so no one would have thought it strange.
It was when I was pretending to be asleep with my eyes tightly closed.
Knock knock.
"Madam, it's me, Lamia. I'm going in."
Lamia knocked, came in, and pulled back the curtain.
She opened the window to ventilate the room, then raked the ashes from the fireplace and carried them outside.
The bitterly cold wind of Ronheim quickly penetrated even the thick blanket.
Although I was huddled up because it was cold, the wind of Ronheim, which carried a chill, had a very refreshing smell and felt good.
Lamia returned soon after, stacking the new firewood she'd brought from outside next to the fireplace, and then shook me awake.
“Madam, please wake up.”
I dug deeper into the blankets so as not to show my face to Lamia.
“Ugh... Lamia, today I...”
I was just about to say that I was feeling unwell and needed to rest.
Lamia cut me off abruptly, speaking in a tone of seriousness unlike usual.
“Madam, I have something to tell you.”
"Huh...?"
“I’ve been thinking about it all night, but I feel like I should tell you right now.”
Her voice was full of power, as if she were about to say something great.
It was an atmosphere where it was impossible to feign illness and postpone it until later.
Eventually, I had no choice but to kick the blanket off and get up.
“What is it...?”
I sat on the edge of the bed, pretending to rub my eyes and covering my face, and asked.
I was sure that Lamia would burst out laughing and tease me when she saw my face.
But contrary to my expectations, Lamia didn't move my hand away or look at my face.
Instead, she fell to her knees in front of me with a thud.
“What, what is it?”
Startled, I removed the hand that had been covering my eyes and looked down at Lamia.
Lamia knelt before me respectfully, bowing her head.
“I want to confess all my secrets to you, Madam.”
I was sure that Lamia would burst out laughing and tease me when she saw my face.
But contrary to my expectations, Lamia didn't move my hand away or look at my face.
Instead, she fell to her knees in front of me with a thud.
“What, what is it?”
Startled, I removed the hand that had been covering my eyes and looked down at Lamia.
Lamia knelt before me respectfully, bowing her head.
“I want to confess all my secrets to you, Madam.”
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