"Your Majesty, you have clear preferences. You always seem to eat only a few fruits and tea."
It had been a long time since she formally met Ivan at the palace. Since her false report about purifying the land, there hadn't been much conversation between them. Amelia, in a relaxed voice, as if joking, pointed out Ivan's picky eating habits.
“I see.”
Ivan's voice was cold as he responded. Amelia pretended to drink her tea and glanced at Ivan. It was only natural that Ivan, who would normally have responded more aggressively to Amelia, ended his speech that way.
“...I have something to tell you.”
He was clearly preoccupied with something else. But that didn't mean he could sit there indifferently. Ivan's gaze slowly returned to Amelia's words.
“As you know, it has been quite some time since I left the temple.”
"So?"
"There are quite a few nobles who have requested to meet with me for blessings, prayers, and other such matters. I'd like to invite them to dinner. Would you allow me to do so?"
Ivan furrowed his brow slightly in disapproval at Amelia's question. His expression showed his displeasure at Amelia's insistence on playing host within his walls, despite being his guest. It was as if he weren't the same person who had advised Amelia to say such things in public.
Even though he was preoccupied with other things, he was a man whose acting skills were truly remarkable.
"Can a guest invite another guest? I'm the one who's inviting you. What's keeping you here is..."
“...”
“Because it's my age.”
It had been a long time since she formally met Ivan at the palace. Since her false report about purifying the land, there hadn't been much conversation between them. Amelia, in a relaxed voice, as if joking, pointed out Ivan's picky eating habits.
“I see.”
Ivan's voice was cold as he responded. Amelia pretended to drink her tea and glanced at Ivan. It was only natural that Ivan, who would normally have responded more aggressively to Amelia, ended his speech that way.
“...I have something to tell you.”
He was clearly preoccupied with something else. But that didn't mean he could sit there indifferently. Ivan's gaze slowly returned to Amelia's words.
“As you know, it has been quite some time since I left the temple.”
"So?"
"There are quite a few nobles who have requested to meet with me for blessings, prayers, and other such matters. I'd like to invite them to dinner. Would you allow me to do so?"
Ivan furrowed his brow slightly in disapproval at Amelia's question. His expression showed his displeasure at Amelia's insistence on playing host within his walls, despite being his guest. It was as if he weren't the same person who had advised Amelia to say such things in public.
Even though he was preoccupied with other things, he was a man whose acting skills were truly remarkable.
"Can a guest invite another guest? I'm the one who's inviting you. What's keeping you here is..."
“...”
“Because it's my age.”
Ivan stared into Amelia's eyes as he spoke. The moment he heard those words, a strange feeling came over him.
“Oh my! Oh my!”
Just as she was about to look at him, as if responding, Ian whined and flailed his arms between his parents, as if demanding attention. Amelia naturally picked Ian up and hugged him, then turned her gaze to Ivan.
Contrary to his previous impression that something was off, he was now back to his usual calm demeanor. As always, she couldn't figure out what Ivan was thinking.
????????????
“But why were you making that face just now?”
Amelia asked, carelessly tossing the shawl she was wearing onto the back of the chair. Ivan, who was leaning against the cushions piled up at the head of the bed, turned to Amelia as if asking what she meant. His face was as relaxed and at ease as ever.
“What face?”
“Stupid face.”
The reply came immediately. It was an irreverent remark that no one residing in this land could dare make to the Emperor.
"I?"
But Ivan's voice, as he questioned her, held no trace of anger. It seemed he understood that Amelia's words weren't meant to offend or insult him. Or perhaps he realized that forcing such a thing on Amelia, who lived without any sense of hierarchy, was pointless.
“It wasn’t that stupid of a face.”
“...”
“I just had something to think about.”
Ivan explained, pulling Amelia's body closer to him as she climbed onto the bed.
"Yes?"
Amelia sat close to him with a small laugh.
“What are you thinking?”
The atmosphere was soft and comfortable. It was as if they were old lovers. Of course, it was all just a delusion of her own. Amelia thought so, taking Ivan's hand as it hung limply.
“When is your birthday?”
Ivan asked. Amelia, who had been leaning comfortably against Ivan and stroking one of his hands, turned her head. She looked up, and her eyes met his, who had been observing her actions.
“Why is it suddenly my birthday?”
It was an unexpected question, one she never thought Ivan would ask. It was only natural that she would ask why he asked before answering.
“I need to know your birthday to give you a present.”
“You gave it to me even when it wasn’t my birthday.”
"That..."
For a moment, Ivan's face fell silent. He frowned, unable to respond. Amelia's words were true. Ivan had given her gifts, both when she was imprisoned in the temple and now, while she was still residing in the palace. They were all precious and wonderful. But with the eyes of others, even he couldn't afford to give his government as many gifts as he wanted.
“April 10th.”
While he was unable to give a proper answer, Amelia readily revealed her birthday.
“Isn’t that the day when the sacred legend began?”
It was the day Amelia Escliff first appeared on this land. It was a day everyone was curious about and commemorated. However, Ivan, who was so averse to anything related to the temple, figured he might not remember.
“Isn’t that what you asked?”
But that didn't seem to be what Ivan was curious about. Rather, she asked why he would be curious about something like the day the Priestess arrived in this land.
“Then what...”
“I said your birthday.”
Ivan moved his hand, which Amelia had been fiddling with, and threaded his fingers between her slender fingers. Their hands overlapped like interlocking gears.
You asked me when my birthday was.
Amelia lowered her head from looking up at Ivan and stared into space. She doesn't know. Her mind just felt blank. She found herself blinking endlessly.
“August 31st.”
Ivan, perhaps not tired of the sight, watched Amelia's profile until she spoke again. Her presence was so palpable that it felt like a stinging gaze.
“It’s completely different.”
Amelia nodded at Ivan's words. It was far from Amelia's first birthday, as exemplified by the sacred legend, but not far from Ian's.
“I thought you didn’t even know because you were wasting so much time.”
Ivan whispered playfully. Amelia chuckled.
“That’s not wrong.”
His thinking wasn't entirely wrong. Amelia's silence for so long stemmed from the fact that Ivan had been curious about something, but it was also because she couldn't quite remember the day she was born.
“Because I was brainwashed my entire life in the temple.”
“...”
“I’ve never told anyone my birthday before, so I couldn’t remember for a moment.”
A life that was alive but not alive. That was Amelia Escliff's life. She had the name Amelia, but even that wasn't really hers. So, the birthday she presented to others couldn't possibly be hers.
“Come to think of it, you’re the only one who really asked when my birthday was.”
Amelia muttered, her cheek pressed against Ivan's chest. Ivan pulled his hand away, grabbed Amelia's shoulder, and pulled her closer. He kissed the forehead of the woman who had never once celebrated her birthday.
Amelia closed her eyes, then opened them, just in time for Ivan's kiss on her forehead. His eyes, bathed in candlelight, were as beautiful as jewels. Perhaps because he was a man she couldn't quite grasp, he always felt that way to Amelia. So precious and beautiful that she could easily desire him, yet so unattainable.
“So you don’t like it?”
Ivan asked. Amelia paused for a moment. She was about to reflexively deny it, but then realized there was no reason to.
"Even if you die, your children will live as they wish. Isn't that a good deal for you? Plus, you'll get revenge on those who have ruined your life."
Although she occasionally dared to harbor regrets, it was a life she had to erase from this world. For the sake of the man before her, and for the sake of her children.
“I thought you were going to cry.”
But more than anything, she hated being pitied by him. The more that arrogant and haughty man felt pity for her and became kinder to her, the more Amelia's own wretchedness would become apparent. And so, she would become miserable, commensurate with the depth of her affection for him.
She must not remain a pitiful and pitiful woman.
It hadn't been that long since she had made up her mind again. So she didn't want to try to deny it, try to ignore it, or try to hide her feelings. After all, there wasn't much time left.
"No."
So Amelia honestly revealed her feelings. Then, before she knew it, she pulled the man on top of her down and kissed him.
The light contact deepened into a deeper, more intense sensation. Amelia felt the lips that had been stroking her ear move along her jaw and down her neck, and she exhaled a warm breath.
“...”
Suddenly, Ivan straightened his upper body slightly and looked down at Amelia, who was dressed disheveled. The shadows cast over Ivan's face swayed in the flickering candlelight.
Unlike the peace that Amelia, who had been teetering on a tightrope her entire life, finally found.
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