Gareth, who was observing his half-sister's side profile with suspicious eyes, suddenly felt annoyed at himself for paying too much attention to every move of this insignificant thing and turned his head away.
What did it matter what was in that head? She was going to be erased from this world forever the day he ascended to the throne. All he had to do was endure it until then.
He gulped down the strong wine as if to erase the presence of his annoying younger sister.
***
I put the wine to my lips, pretending to look bored. Then I noticed that my fingertips were trembling faintly, and I immediately put the glass down. I tried to look as natural as possible, hid my hands under the table, and moistened my parched lips.
The place where Barcas had touched felt hot, as if on fire. It was like that, even though it wasn't bare skin. It felt like the solid bone joints I could feel through the cold leather gloves were seeping into my skin.
I rubbed my sweaty palms on the hem of my skirt, exerting strength into my shoulders that were hunched over. I could feel the damp hem sticking to my skin.
For a moment, a sense of defeat washed over me. The clothes I had chosen to provoke Gareth felt like they were strangling me.
I clenched my fists, feeling a tingling sensation in my bare shoulders and spine. Even though I knew full well that the man couldn't possibly be looking at me, my nerves were on edge to the point of pain.
I desperately resisted the urge to turn my head over my shoulder to see where the man was looking. Years of acting had helped me keep my expression composed, but there was nothing I could do about the sweat slowly seeping out of my skin.
I bit my lower lip, feeling the thin sliver of fabric cling to my skin like a sticky liquid. Choosing this outfit was a really stupid choice.
"Does the food not suit your taste?"
I flinched at the sudden voice. The young Priest sitting across from me was staring blankly at me.
"I think you called him the abbot."
Thalia said, shrugging me shoulders.
"It's shabby compared to the food we ate in the palace."
At the words I spat out so casually, the monk's face distorted faintly.
I turned my head to grab my attention and picked up a small piece of cake. If I pretended to eat something, I wouldn't be talking nonsense. With that thought, I put the crumbly thing in my mouth and chewed it mechanically. It was like swallowing a sponge.
I swallowed my nausea and took a sip of wine. Then I realized that several Priests were staring at me persistently and frowned. The sticky stares were more disgusting than the greasy food.
I jumped up from my seat.
"This is a disappointing banquet. I think I should go back and get some sleep."
Gareth gave me an irritated look.
Normally, I would have said a few more words to irritate my brother, but I couldn't stand still because I felt like the water inside me was going to boil up at any moment.
I quickly left the hall. As I left the room filled with the smell of oil, alcohol, and burning candles, my rumbling stomach seemed to calm down a little.
I took a deep breath, wiping my forehead, which was damp with cold sweat, and walked briskly down the hallway.
I felt the cold night air sweep down my spine. I hurried my steps a little, hugging my arms where the hair stood on end.
Sometimes I couldn't figure out why I was doing this. What was the point of putting myself out there for people to see and causing trouble?
"It seems the Crown Prince cannot stand your presence. Sometimes it seems he cannot tolerate you even more than I can."
One day, Senevere's voice, muttering happily, faintly came to my ears.
It was probably the day of the memorial service for the deceased Empress Bernadette.
Gareth completely lost his mind when he saw me being led into the hall by my mother's hand.
The nobles were terrified when they saw him strangle the young Princess while screaming, but the Crown Prince did not budge. Two knights rushed in and barely managed to pull him away.
Having barely escaped from his vicious grasp, I crawled to my mother's feet and curled up. Then Senevere wrapped my body around her protectively.
For a moment, I felt like I was going to cry in relief, but then I saw a look of satisfaction cross Senevere's face.
It must have been from that day on. I started provoking Gareth whenever I had the chance.
Even though my already poor reputation had fallen to its lowest point, it didn't matter. The Crown Prince's reputation would take a hit, and my mother would be happy.
Suddenly, a hollow laugh burst from my lungs. I found it funny that I was still struggling to win a bit of her affection even at this point.
Even if I were to destroy the Crown Prince's honor, Senevere would never love me again.
My mother doesn't love anyone. Not even the Emperor, not even Asroth, whom she adores so much.
To her, everything was just a tool and a means. Perhaps she knows this all too well, which is why she keeps doing this. If I can't prove myself useful, she will really become nothing to her...
"Your Highness, the Princess."
I was suddenly jolted out of my thoughts by a voice.
Turning my head, I saw a dark figure standing tall on one side of the dark hallway. I stiffened as I realized that it was the priest who had been persistently spying on me in the banquet hall.
'Did you follow me?'
I looked around cautiously. There was not a single mouse in sight along the long corridor leading to the garden. A chill ran down my spine as I thought of him following me silently until we reached the secluded place.
"What is your business?"
I tried not to show my fear and tried to sound authoritative.
Fortunately, my bluff seemed to have worked, and I felt the priest falter. I glared at him sharply, expecting him to turn around and run away.
"I asked what your business was."
"Uh, because of what you said a little while ago..."
The Priest mumbled and spat out.
I frowned.
"What did I say?"
"That, that is... At the banquet hall earlier..."
The man who had been squirming around in a dirty manner glanced at me with a red face full of freckles.
I braced my legs to keep myself from backing down. If I showed weakness, my opponent would become stronger. I raised my chin arrogantly.
"I can't understand what you're saying. Unless you have something special to say, I'll be going now."
"Huh.... You said you wanted to live up to His Highness the Crown Prince's expectations... Didn't you?"
The man spat out urgently.
I, who was turning toward the garden, paused and looked back at him. Could it be that he had come after hearing Gareth's provocative remarks, which he had said not to mess with Priests?
Suddenly, my spine felt chilled as if I had been hit with cold water.
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