Leila's voice rose slightly. Aaron, who raised his head, smiled weakly and patted Leila's back. Why wouldn't he wish for it? Because he couldn't wish for it. A deserter who couldn't escape the appearance of a fugitive. A foreigner who was shunned by society. A penniless person with nothing. Which of these things would catch up with him more terribly?
Even though he was holding her like this, he felt sorry for her and wanted to hold her more, so why was he making her cry?
"Sorry."
“...”
“I’m sorry, Leila, that I couldn’t become someone you could love with pride.”
"...No."
“I’m sorry. Really.”
“I, I am more sorry. But I am really upset. I am so sad. Aaron, you won’t go. You will stay at our house for a long time.”
Tears fell ceaselessly from Leila's eyes. Was it the sadness of a Ramrockian who had lost love for a Dubliner, or the sadness of a Casnier who had loved a deserter who had run away from Eastern Rock? It didn't matter to Aaron anymore. Her olive eyes, filled with tears, were dragging him down to the bottom.
'Why aren't you answering me?' She looks at him with those eyes.
Aaron smiled bitterly and pressed their foreheads together.
“I will. As much as I can.”
"...liar."
“...Leila. Don’t do this. I don’t want to do this either. You don’t know how much self-loathing it is for me to make you cry. I’ll go in 100 years. Just like Leila said. I won’t leave until I die. Even if the day comes when Leila no longer loves me, I’ll stay if you want. So...”
Liar. Leila didn't believe it at all. Her olive eyes were red. They were as moist as her cheeks, soaked with tears. Aaron was gripped by a feeling of not knowing what to do. He wanted to kiss her, but he felt himself being eaten away by those tears. If you apply the philosopher's theory that life exists only when the mind exists, he would be no different from losing his life right now.
“Have you lost my trust now?”
“...Hippup.”
“How can I get you to believe me?”
Aaron tried to lighten the mood with a joke and gave her swollen eyelids a comforting kiss. The wetness of their contact made his insides wet. His lips soon touched the bridge of her nose, then slowly slid down to rest on her lips. He carefully sucked on her lips, which were covered in traces of tears, bit them lightly, and then pressed them again.
“Hug me.”
It wouldn't have been a request made by a woman who was already in his arms, forgetting that fact. Aaron stopped kissing her and pulled her lips tightly into his mouth.
“Aaron... Yes?”
“Let’s talk again tomorrow. I drank today too.”
“Even for a day.”
Big tears fell again. Aaron felt like he wanted to cry more. If there was anyone in this world who wanted to be with Leila the most, it would definitely be him. Just the fact that a guy named Andrew called Ben a father-in-law made him feel violent enough to be surprised by himself that afternoon.
“Even just for one day... I want to be a couple with Aaron.”
But if he was going to end up destroying Leila's life with irresponsible actions, then it would have been better not to even start. It was already too much, too presumptuous. His heart feels crushed. How nice it would be if this were all just a drunken dream.
Leila doesn't cry because her heart hurts, and he just sleeps.
A dream where only he is sick.
But the tears falling were real, and Leila's anxious eyes looking at him were real. Aaron barely came to his senses and tried to console her.
“Leila, having sex doesn’t make you a couple.”
“Aaron always secretly avoids me. I, I like you like this, but Aaron doesn’t. I don’t doubt that you like me. But if you suddenly leave one day like this, I...”
“Please, Leila. Don’t make me want more.”
“Why? Can’t you give me more?”
What more could I ask for? I wanted to cry. Aaron pushed Leila away and covered his face, rubbing it. He was so pathetic that he could not do anything, and he wanted to kill himself. Why could it only be like this?
“Already... Leila. Don’t act like a fool. What can’t be done won’t be done.”
“Because I'm a Ramrock, you have no choice but to leave?”
“I said I won’t leave...”
It was horrible that she couldn't even believe it. He felt the urge to open his chest and expose his bloody, beating heart.
“Please talk to me. Come closer to me. Love me more. If it’s not because I’m Ramrock that you hate me, but because of other people, then I’m really okay. I...”
“Leila, do you think that’s easy?”
Leila's lips pursed. Aaron stared at her with eyes that were sunken in a sea of disappointment.
“I’ll be pointed at wherever I go in Ramrock. I don’t even have a proper place to live, and I don’t know when or what I’ll be arrested for. Because of me, Leila is being pointed at, Mr. Ben is getting cursed at, and all I have is my body, so I’m stuck here like this.”
“...”
“I don’t mind being pointed at. Discrimination is everywhere, and I’m prepared for it. I don’t mind wandering. I don’t mind being captured by Ramrock soldiers. But that’s all.”
“...”
“I’m okay when I’m alone. I love Leila. I can’t be selfish and happy by myself, putting all the burdens on you. You won’t forgive me if I do.”
Those words sounded harsh.
Leila had guessed. Aaron was a cautious and careful person. Aaron, speaking in a weak voice as if he could disappear at any moment. Aaron avoided her eyes and lowered his head. Aaron, not hugging her again. Suddenly frightened, Leila hugged Aaron again as if she were clinging to him and kissed him on the lips first.
“It’s all excuses, you coward. I don’t care. I want everything about Aaron...”
Aaron, who had been holding on with his lips tightly shut, grabbed her waist with trembling hands.
Leila, who was trying to pry his lips with her clumsy tongue, felt pitiful. The shattered shards of reason were tearing at his heart. What on earth was he doing, making the woman he loved cry, who had told him she loved him so much?
“Open your lips, Aaron. I want you to accept me. Aaron.”
Her clumsy and urgent affection made his insides swell.
“Leila, if you do this.”
“I really want to marry Aaron. I wish Aaron wouldn’t go. Really.”
A voice that was panting with emotion. Aaron closed his eyelids.
Greed never misses an opportunity like this. Just once... Can’t you be greedy just once? If you prepare, defend, and are careful, won’t you be forgiven if you live your whole life for Leila and Mr. Ben, even if you become an ungrateful brat? If the worst comes to the worst, just by excluding yourself, like Ben said, won’t their lives be able to turn around?
He couldn't overcome the selfishness that was crawling up his throat.
He can't win.
He can't even overcome the anger he feels towards himself.
"Yes, then stop crying.”
“...”
“Please, stop crying.”
Aaron grabbed Leila's side of the head and opened his lips. He swallowed her lips, which were clinging to him as if they had been waiting, and sucked her tongue. Leila clung to him more passionately than ever. The taste of her tears numbed him from the tip of his tongue. He was horny without any new sensation. There would be no man who wouldn't be excited by those soft, pliant, desperate lips, like biting into cotton.
Eastern Rockers always do the math. The environment they were born in harmoniously raises them to be selfish bastards. So Aaron did the math. If he was going to make her cry anyway, wouldn't it be better to be sad in the distant future than now? He didn't even have the confidence to endure it right now.
“Shall we get married?”
Ah, the poor proposal. Leila's body tilted under Aaron's weight. Aaron's hand moved to the back of her head to avoid hurting her on the hard bed.
Leila nods, without knowing what it means.
“...Then it would really be a mess.”
“Please do so. I don’t mind.”
“Mr. Ben will be sad.”
Leila's lower lip was pulled tightly. The tears that had been welling up began to flow again, down the corners of her eyes and down her temples.
“I love Aaron as much as I love my dad.”
“...”
“Because Daddy likes you too... if we just do well, Daddy won’t be mad.”
He has never received such young and pure love.
His first and only love.
Aaron gave his feelings a name.
Oh, disgusting. Je was disgusted from head to toe. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. Tears fell and soaked Leila's cheeks. He kissed Leila, who was surprised, as he opened his lips to say something.
“Leila.”
"...huh."
His voice, determined to make a choice for himself and not for her, is terribly cracked.
“Let me ask you one last time.”
"Yes."
“It would be most disastrous if Leila ended up regretting it later because of me.”
“...I don’t regret it.”
“...Even if you say that now.”
“Will Aaron regret me?”
He asks bluntly, 'Well, I guess I love you more than you love me.'
Aaron swallowed his feelings and smiled.
“That can’t be true.”
“...Then it’s fine.”
He can't shake off the feeling of defiling an innocent girl.
Aaron asked, slowly caressing Leila's cheek.
“I want to sleep.”
"...Yes."
“Don’t just sleep.”
“...”
“I don’t know anymore, what should I do?”
“Look at me more. More, more than now.”
Aaron, who had been lying on top of Leila and gasping for breath for a long time, leaned over. The long time it took for their lips to meet seemed fake, and his hand movements soon became anxious. He fumbled and took off her loose-fitting underwear, and spread her white thighs, leaving only her underwear, to sit down. Leila moaned at the heat of their bodies touching without any gaps and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He scraped his teeth and sucked hard enough that the base of his tongue hurt. He swallowed every last breath of his heightened breathing.
“Leila, I love you.”
He confessed in a hoarse voice. Leila's body moved slightly every time his hard penis rubbed against her thigh. She was surprised, but tried not to show it.
“Aaron, me too, me... me too.”
Even though he was holding her like this, he felt sorry for her and wanted to hold her more, so why was he making her cry?
"Sorry."
“...”
“I’m sorry, Leila, that I couldn’t become someone you could love with pride.”
"...No."
“I’m sorry. Really.”
“I, I am more sorry. But I am really upset. I am so sad. Aaron, you won’t go. You will stay at our house for a long time.”
Tears fell ceaselessly from Leila's eyes. Was it the sadness of a Ramrockian who had lost love for a Dubliner, or the sadness of a Casnier who had loved a deserter who had run away from Eastern Rock? It didn't matter to Aaron anymore. Her olive eyes, filled with tears, were dragging him down to the bottom.
'Why aren't you answering me?' She looks at him with those eyes.
Aaron smiled bitterly and pressed their foreheads together.
“I will. As much as I can.”
"...liar."
“...Leila. Don’t do this. I don’t want to do this either. You don’t know how much self-loathing it is for me to make you cry. I’ll go in 100 years. Just like Leila said. I won’t leave until I die. Even if the day comes when Leila no longer loves me, I’ll stay if you want. So...”
Liar. Leila didn't believe it at all. Her olive eyes were red. They were as moist as her cheeks, soaked with tears. Aaron was gripped by a feeling of not knowing what to do. He wanted to kiss her, but he felt himself being eaten away by those tears. If you apply the philosopher's theory that life exists only when the mind exists, he would be no different from losing his life right now.
“Have you lost my trust now?”
“...Hippup.”
“How can I get you to believe me?”
Aaron tried to lighten the mood with a joke and gave her swollen eyelids a comforting kiss. The wetness of their contact made his insides wet. His lips soon touched the bridge of her nose, then slowly slid down to rest on her lips. He carefully sucked on her lips, which were covered in traces of tears, bit them lightly, and then pressed them again.
“Hug me.”
It wouldn't have been a request made by a woman who was already in his arms, forgetting that fact. Aaron stopped kissing her and pulled her lips tightly into his mouth.
“Aaron... Yes?”
“Let’s talk again tomorrow. I drank today too.”
“Even for a day.”
Big tears fell again. Aaron felt like he wanted to cry more. If there was anyone in this world who wanted to be with Leila the most, it would definitely be him. Just the fact that a guy named Andrew called Ben a father-in-law made him feel violent enough to be surprised by himself that afternoon.
“Even just for one day... I want to be a couple with Aaron.”
But if he was going to end up destroying Leila's life with irresponsible actions, then it would have been better not to even start. It was already too much, too presumptuous. His heart feels crushed. How nice it would be if this were all just a drunken dream.
Leila doesn't cry because her heart hurts, and he just sleeps.
A dream where only he is sick.
But the tears falling were real, and Leila's anxious eyes looking at him were real. Aaron barely came to his senses and tried to console her.
“Leila, having sex doesn’t make you a couple.”
“Aaron always secretly avoids me. I, I like you like this, but Aaron doesn’t. I don’t doubt that you like me. But if you suddenly leave one day like this, I...”
“Please, Leila. Don’t make me want more.”
“Why? Can’t you give me more?”
What more could I ask for? I wanted to cry. Aaron pushed Leila away and covered his face, rubbing it. He was so pathetic that he could not do anything, and he wanted to kill himself. Why could it only be like this?
“Already... Leila. Don’t act like a fool. What can’t be done won’t be done.”
“Because I'm a Ramrock, you have no choice but to leave?”
“I said I won’t leave...”
It was horrible that she couldn't even believe it. He felt the urge to open his chest and expose his bloody, beating heart.
“Please talk to me. Come closer to me. Love me more. If it’s not because I’m Ramrock that you hate me, but because of other people, then I’m really okay. I...”
“Leila, do you think that’s easy?”
Leila's lips pursed. Aaron stared at her with eyes that were sunken in a sea of disappointment.
“I’ll be pointed at wherever I go in Ramrock. I don’t even have a proper place to live, and I don’t know when or what I’ll be arrested for. Because of me, Leila is being pointed at, Mr. Ben is getting cursed at, and all I have is my body, so I’m stuck here like this.”
“...”
“I don’t mind being pointed at. Discrimination is everywhere, and I’m prepared for it. I don’t mind wandering. I don’t mind being captured by Ramrock soldiers. But that’s all.”
“...”
“I’m okay when I’m alone. I love Leila. I can’t be selfish and happy by myself, putting all the burdens on you. You won’t forgive me if I do.”
Those words sounded harsh.
Leila had guessed. Aaron was a cautious and careful person. Aaron, speaking in a weak voice as if he could disappear at any moment. Aaron avoided her eyes and lowered his head. Aaron, not hugging her again. Suddenly frightened, Leila hugged Aaron again as if she were clinging to him and kissed him on the lips first.
“It’s all excuses, you coward. I don’t care. I want everything about Aaron...”
Aaron, who had been holding on with his lips tightly shut, grabbed her waist with trembling hands.
Leila, who was trying to pry his lips with her clumsy tongue, felt pitiful. The shattered shards of reason were tearing at his heart. What on earth was he doing, making the woman he loved cry, who had told him she loved him so much?
“Open your lips, Aaron. I want you to accept me. Aaron.”
Her clumsy and urgent affection made his insides swell.
“Leila, if you do this.”
“I really want to marry Aaron. I wish Aaron wouldn’t go. Really.”
A voice that was panting with emotion. Aaron closed his eyelids.
Greed never misses an opportunity like this. Just once... Can’t you be greedy just once? If you prepare, defend, and are careful, won’t you be forgiven if you live your whole life for Leila and Mr. Ben, even if you become an ungrateful brat? If the worst comes to the worst, just by excluding yourself, like Ben said, won’t their lives be able to turn around?
He couldn't overcome the selfishness that was crawling up his throat.
He can't win.
He can't even overcome the anger he feels towards himself.
"Yes, then stop crying.”
“...”
“Please, stop crying.”
Aaron grabbed Leila's side of the head and opened his lips. He swallowed her lips, which were clinging to him as if they had been waiting, and sucked her tongue. Leila clung to him more passionately than ever. The taste of her tears numbed him from the tip of his tongue. He was horny without any new sensation. There would be no man who wouldn't be excited by those soft, pliant, desperate lips, like biting into cotton.
Eastern Rockers always do the math. The environment they were born in harmoniously raises them to be selfish bastards. So Aaron did the math. If he was going to make her cry anyway, wouldn't it be better to be sad in the distant future than now? He didn't even have the confidence to endure it right now.
“Shall we get married?”
Ah, the poor proposal. Leila's body tilted under Aaron's weight. Aaron's hand moved to the back of her head to avoid hurting her on the hard bed.
Leila nods, without knowing what it means.
“...Then it would really be a mess.”
“Please do so. I don’t mind.”
“Mr. Ben will be sad.”
Leila's lower lip was pulled tightly. The tears that had been welling up began to flow again, down the corners of her eyes and down her temples.
“I love Aaron as much as I love my dad.”
“...”
“Because Daddy likes you too... if we just do well, Daddy won’t be mad.”
He has never received such young and pure love.
His first and only love.
Aaron gave his feelings a name.
Oh, disgusting. Je was disgusted from head to toe. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. Tears fell and soaked Leila's cheeks. He kissed Leila, who was surprised, as he opened his lips to say something.
“Leila.”
"...huh."
His voice, determined to make a choice for himself and not for her, is terribly cracked.
“Let me ask you one last time.”
"Yes."
“It would be most disastrous if Leila ended up regretting it later because of me.”
“...I don’t regret it.”
“...Even if you say that now.”
“Will Aaron regret me?”
He asks bluntly, 'Well, I guess I love you more than you love me.'
Aaron swallowed his feelings and smiled.
“That can’t be true.”
“...Then it’s fine.”
He can't shake off the feeling of defiling an innocent girl.
Aaron asked, slowly caressing Leila's cheek.
“I want to sleep.”
"...Yes."
“Don’t just sleep.”
“...”
“I don’t know anymore, what should I do?”
“Look at me more. More, more than now.”
Aaron, who had been lying on top of Leila and gasping for breath for a long time, leaned over. The long time it took for their lips to meet seemed fake, and his hand movements soon became anxious. He fumbled and took off her loose-fitting underwear, and spread her white thighs, leaving only her underwear, to sit down. Leila moaned at the heat of their bodies touching without any gaps and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He scraped his teeth and sucked hard enough that the base of his tongue hurt. He swallowed every last breath of his heightened breathing.
“Leila, I love you.”
He confessed in a hoarse voice. Leila's body moved slightly every time his hard penis rubbed against her thigh. She was surprised, but tried not to show it.
“Aaron, me too, me... me too.”
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