It was his honest truth. If he were to continue to be a guest rather than a person who shares his feelings with Leila, he would gladly leave her alone.
Ben, who had difficulty with his daughters, always wanted a son. It was a pity that Leila's mother died of weakness before giving birth to a son. He didn't want to go to the ashes, so he just lived by raising cattle. Whenever he saw his friends playing around with their sons, he couldn't help but feel envious.
In that sense, Aaron was a guy who strangely filled Ben's regret. He was a normal guy, and he had survived as a wanderer for over a year, and he silently did everything he was told to do. Ben actually liked his calm demeanor and his lack of shame about his situation.
He didn't completely believe it, but it made him even angrier to see the townspeople pointing and spitting at Aaron just because he was a Dubliner. If he hadn't been a Dubliner, they could have really gotten along...
“No answer!”
“I have to risk my life to get Leila.”
“Don’t interpret it as you please! You don’t even know what I’m talking about...!”
“I can’t.”
When it comes to Leila's problem, his attitude of not even laughing off empty words is so funny. Ben, who was extremely drunk, lamented instead of talking further.
“...Why on earth are you from that background, causing trouble like this!”
“Oh, my parents were born in Dublin.”
“That’s what you say! Anyway, from now on, you will learn my job.”
“You mean the shepherd thing?”
Ben, who had difficulty with his daughters, always wanted a son. It was a pity that Leila's mother died of weakness before giving birth to a son. He didn't want to go to the ashes, so he just lived by raising cattle. Whenever he saw his friends playing around with their sons, he couldn't help but feel envious.
In that sense, Aaron was a guy who strangely filled Ben's regret. He was a normal guy, and he had survived as a wanderer for over a year, and he silently did everything he was told to do. Ben actually liked his calm demeanor and his lack of shame about his situation.
He didn't completely believe it, but it made him even angrier to see the townspeople pointing and spitting at Aaron just because he was a Dubliner. If he hadn't been a Dubliner, they could have really gotten along...
“No answer!”
“I have to risk my life to get Leila.”
“Don’t interpret it as you please! You don’t even know what I’m talking about...!”
“I can’t.”
When it comes to Leila's problem, his attitude of not even laughing off empty words is so funny. Ben, who was extremely drunk, lamented instead of talking further.
“...Why on earth are you from that background, causing trouble like this!”
“Oh, my parents were born in Dublin.”
“That’s what you say! Anyway, from now on, you will learn my job.”
“You mean the shepherd thing?”
“Why! Do you hate it?”
“No, learning is always good, but...”
Aaron was speechless for a long time because he couldn't decide whether the implications of Ben's words were really what he thought they were.
“Mr. Ben, you don’t know much about me, do you?”
“The more I know about you, the more I get annoyed, so I don’t want to know any more!”
“...What if I’m ‘that’ Dubliner who lied about his name and is wanted?”
“Then I’ll sell you off and use the money to treat my daughter like a b*stard!”
Aaron laughed for a long time, then nodded, rubbing his chin.
“That’s a pretty good way to do it.”
“...”
“If it can help in any way.”
Ben, who was about to say something more, glared at Aaron, who was seriously agreeing, with eyes that seemed to be fed up... He doesn’t know what kind of kid he is. If he says something like that, shouldn’t he be cursed at like, ‘How can a person do that!’? As his temper rose, the alcohol that he had barely managed to sober up surged up again.
“Stop talking!”
***
As soon as he got home, Ben stretched out on the floor in the living room and started snoring loudly. Aaron carried him to the bedroom.
Leila was nowhere to be seen, but her shoes were back, so he wasn't worried. Aaron, who was about to go to her room, changed his mind. He wanted to see Leila, but if she was tired and came home early and fell asleep, he didn't want to wake her up. He knows better than anyone how sinister his heart is.
Aaron tried to clear his head while taking a cold shower. But maybe because he was still dizzy from the alcohol, it wasn't particularly successful. Once a mind is disturbed, it doesn't go away.
Aaron had a basically good conscience, but he never thought love was the most important value in life. That means, no matter how sincere his love was, he couldn't force Leila to risk her life.
As he breathed in the humid air, Aaron felt the effects of the alcohol he had barely had rising. He lowered his head and looked down at his naked body. Many things had changed since he met Leila. For the first time in a year, he was living in a place with a roof, and he was no longer hungry. There were no new wounds. Only scars remained here and there. Everything had changed because of Leila. And Ben.
As soon as he thought about Leila, the blood rushed to his lower body, and he got a weak erection. He tried to shake off the thought and poured cold water on himself.
'Wake up.'
Aaron wiped his face and soon leaned his forehead against the damp wooden wall. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see her and hold her. Just imagining the natural future in which Leila would one day start a family with someone else made him feel guilty. He wanted to be a little more selfish.
After Ben gave him the attic, Aaron refrained from physical contact with Leila, not wanting to be ungrateful to her. But in reality, he really, really wanted to hug her. He wanted to kidnap her and marry her.
'Shall I take her to Dublin?'
For the first time, he thought about his home country.
'...You crazy bastard.'
He stopped. Even if he returned to Eastern Rock, there would be only internal family strife. Aaron remembered the many persecutions and insults he had suffered because he was a Dubliner living in Ramrock. It would be no different for Leila to live in Dublin. The family he had cut off was colder, more ruthless, and more elegantly tearing each other apart.
However, he couldn't help but worry about Leila and Ben, who might end up in trouble in the distant future simply because they had formed a relationship with him, if he were to just sit here and hang on. The roof of this house that Ben had provided was so solid and warm that Aaron would rather break his heart full of affection and stay by her and Ben's side for a long time.
It's an absurd and vain dream.
Aaron shook off the dripping water and stepped onto the worn wooden floor.
To get to the third-floor attic that Ben generously gave him, he had to climb up an old ladder. Creak creak. He climbed up the creaking ladder to the attic entrance. The familiar darkness greeted him from above. Aaron, who stepped onto the attic, reflexively stiffened his body. Someone sat curled up under the slanted window with the gray curtains pulled back.
Only after hearing the sound of deep breathing did the tension ease a little.
“Leila?”
Leila sat on the barely-made bed with her knees together, looking at him. It felt like he had received an unexpected gift. Eren approached her, avoiding the low roof.
“I thought you were sleeping because you were tired.”
Before Aaron could even turn on the light, Leila came crawling in on her knees, spread her arms, and hugged his neck. Aaron hugged Leila’s slender back, which he had been holding, and patted it as if comforting her. He realized. The reason Leila hadn’t come down.
“...Why are you crying?”
Leila leaned against his chest and burst into tears.
Aaron's heart ached even more as he listened to her crying for no apparent reason.
“What happened?”
“...Sigh, sob.”
“Why is that?”
Strong arms held Leila tighter in their embrace.
“Leila...? Miss, please speak.”
The alcohol has worn off.
“I’m scared, ugh.”
“Easy, did you have a nightmare?”
Aaron patted Leila on the shoulder. Leila sobbed harder and threw herself against his shoulder.
Aaron felt as if all his worries from a moment ago were nothing. There was nothing more important than Leila crying. Aaron carefully held Leila's cheek and pressed his lips against hers.
“Easy, who hurt our young lady, huh? Just say something and I’ll tell you everything.”
Leila's heart raced even more at the soothing voice.
On the way home, she was angry and depressed, but she was okay. Leila was okay. No matter how bad her perception of Dubliners was, Leila knew that Aaron was a good person. He was more polite, kind, and cool than the soldiers of Ramrock. It didn't matter what anyone said.
But when she came to the opposite concept, Leila panicked. She was fine, but what about Aaron? As long as he lived in Ramrock, Aaron would continue to receive such stares.
Children are mirrors of adults. Penny, Andrew, and countless other children will believe the biased stories they have learned from many adults as truth. Not because they are bad, but because they have been taught that way. It is the inevitable duty of children to follow the rules of the world that adults have constructed.
Therefore, Aaron would experience the rudeness of people whenever he went downtown. He would witness the malice of the flyers on the wall. Penny and Andrew would always innocently criticize him. What if Aaron, who was insulted and persecuted like that, could not overcome his hurt and decided to leave? If that happened, would she be qualified to catch him? What if the townspeople had bad feelings for Aaron and dragged him to the military police?
By the time her thoughts reached that point, even rational judgment was impossible. Leila only thought about the distance Aaron kept from her. Aaron, who showed a series of affections through light kisses, small caresses, and such, eventually stopped there. He didn't kiss her deeply unless she clung to him, and he would always stop at some point with a gentle smile.
'Maybe Aaron doesn't want me 'that much.'
There are times when just saying “I like you” or “I love you” isn’t enough.
'Because I'm a Ramrock. Ramrocks hate Dubliners.'
For Leila, today was the day when she finally came to the point where she was sad that she was a Ramrock, after being continuously hit by one sorrow after another. If it weren't for that, Aaron would have loved her without hesitation. He wouldn't have acted like he was going to leave someday.
“I, uh, why am I a Ramrock?”
He might leave. Her love for Aaron grew bigger and bigger every day, and it became unbearable, but he might leave. Even though she knew that, there was nothing she could do about it.
Aaron let out a shallow breath, pulling Leila's round back of her head against his chest. Leila clung to him tightly.
“Leila...”
“Sigh, I’m sorry... I’m sorry. I, sigh, I know that Aaron is a good person, ugh, but other sigh, people…… I don’t know, ugh, I don’t know...”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Why does it matter? I, hmm, so, I won’t be able to marry Aaron...”
Aaron lowered his head and pressed his lips to Leila's nape for a long time without moving an inch.
“I want to marry Leila, too.”
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment