Else opened her eyes in the underground prison of the palace. The dark, low ceiling and the putrid stench from the nearby sewer tickled her nose. She wiped her hazy vision and raised her upper body. A sharp headache struck her as if she had been hit on the right side of her head with an axe. She grabbed her pit of the stomach and retched. Suddenly, she remembered the man who had been spitting up blood. The mucous membranes in his mouth were swollen and red, and tears were barely visible. His bloodshot eyes...
“Sibyl...”
The name flowing out of the locked neck made her head dizzy. Her two hands trembled at the afterimage of the man that remained where the migraine had passed. Else raised her two hands that had been stained with blood. There was nothing left. It was as if it had happened in a dream.
So for a moment, the thought occurred to her. Was it a dream? Was it a dream because she had been wishing for it for so long? No. It was not a dream. Else looked up and stared at the long iron chains connected to her ankles. Then she realized that her two wrists were also tied with heavy iron chains.
Sunlight streamed in through a small window in the outer wall. Else held the light coming through the bars with both hands. The bright light illuminated both hands. The blood that remained on her palms, unwashed, gleamed like grains of sand in the morning sunlight. The tips of her fingers began to tremble faintly.
'Is he dead?'
He must have died. He must have died. No one has ever lost so much blood and survived. The poison Else ordered was so lethal that even a few grams could put someone on the brink of death. She put it in a wineglass and made him drink it.
Else retracted his tongue that had been digging into her mouth. The sensation of the flesh that was being robbed of every nook and cranny warmed her. Else trembled with a bloodless face and covered her face with both hands.
“Sob. Ugh... sob...”
The cries that had been building up in her heart seemed to pour out of her throat. Shr couldn't breathe. Her fever was rising, and every fiber of her body that she was wearing was shaking. She didn't want to live. She wanted to die. It seemed like it would have been better if she had lost consciousness. Why, why on earth... Why am I alive? That man is dead.
There was no need to live now that the man was dead. Sybil was dead. Sybil was dead. Sybil, Sybil... My lover, the father of my babies... He was dead. The man falling apart was vivid before her eyes.
'What should I do? What should I do...'
There was no need to live. Even the breath that was forced into her nasal cavity was terrible. She killed him. She succeeded in killing him, so she shouldn't have regrets. But it was still miserable and tragic. Yes. It was so miserable... It was too scary to endure a world without him...
Else collapsed on the floor, crying bitterly. She was sorry that she couldn't die. She should have drunk together with him and died; if she had, she could have died right away without having to wait until the axe hit her neck...
Else opened her closed eyes and stared into space. It was natural that she would be executed for killing the King. She was thrown in prison, so she knew what would happen even if she didn’t draw a picture of the future. She didn’t know how she would be executed, but it was natural that she would die.
Perhaps she would die even more horribly than Henrietta. At least that stupid woman had not murdered the King. Would she be flayed alive? Or would she be dressed in red-hot armor, and then stabbed from chin to head with a sword?
She wasn't afraid. She didn't want to breathe for even a minute in a world without him. That was unbearable pain and fear.
'You live.'
His voice, now hoarse, rang in her ears. Else bit her lip. You want to live. You want me to live. You want me to live and love and hate you... Knowing how hard it was. Knowing how hard and desolate that life was.
“Please pack your bags, for you will be leaving with His Highness Prince Abelard.”
“What does that mean?”
“It is His Majesty’s command.”
"His Majesty..."
Else called out, “His Majesty,” with a blank expression. Count Loper, not wanting to deal with her any longer, tried to leave Else. Else, who was absentmindedly mumbling the word “His Majesty,” called out to him.
“Sibyl...”
“Do not act rashly. Even though you are the daughter of a lowly nobleman with no education, you will not dare to disregard the manners of the highest authority of this kingdom.”
Else pursed her lips. Count Loper turned his head away from scolding her fiercely. Else’s face turned pale and trembled, then shedding tears. She called him back carefully once more.
“I am sorry, Sir Alexander. I am a lowly and incompetent woman, and I cannot fathom His Majesty’s will. Why am I not executed in Siena?”
“...Do you want to be executed?”
"..."
“Even if that is the case, you cannot be executed since it is not His Majesty’s will.”
“Sir Alexander, please...”
Else clasped her hands together earnestly. She could not understand why she was not executed. She could not understand what Sibyl had ordered her to do. To take Abelard and leave Siena...
'You live.'
Tears welled up in her eyes. He had been cruel to her to the end. Knowing what life meant to her. Knowing what kind of heart she had to endure, why...?
“His Majesty loves you. He loves you so much... that he is out of his mind.”
The man with a gloomy face opened his heavily locked lips.
“I know how cruel the love of a man who is not in his right mind has been to you. I wish I could apologize to you on his behalf, but I cannot. So I will convey to you the last message that His Majesty wishes to convey.”
Alexander took out a neatly folded piece of parchment from inside his jacket. Else's eyes fell on it.
There wasn't much luggage. Else held her son in her arms in the warm afternoon sun. The new son she hadn't seen before had grown up quickly and had become a strong and sturdy baby. The black hair that had grown fluffy had become a little thicker, and his milky skin had also become plump and shiny. Else held her son tightly and closed her eyes. The sweet smell of milk tickled the tip of her chest.
The carriage that had come with her son left Siena without delay. Else looked out the window with hazy eyes. The past days spent in the distant palace seemed like a dream. She fell asleep for the first time in a while, holding her son in her arms. She did not want to stay awake while leaving Siena. It was because she did not want to feel with her whole body that she was leaving Sybil.
“Sibyl...”
The name flowing out of the locked neck made her head dizzy. Her two hands trembled at the afterimage of the man that remained where the migraine had passed. Else raised her two hands that had been stained with blood. There was nothing left. It was as if it had happened in a dream.
So for a moment, the thought occurred to her. Was it a dream? Was it a dream because she had been wishing for it for so long? No. It was not a dream. Else looked up and stared at the long iron chains connected to her ankles. Then she realized that her two wrists were also tied with heavy iron chains.
Sunlight streamed in through a small window in the outer wall. Else held the light coming through the bars with both hands. The bright light illuminated both hands. The blood that remained on her palms, unwashed, gleamed like grains of sand in the morning sunlight. The tips of her fingers began to tremble faintly.
'Is he dead?'
He must have died. He must have died. No one has ever lost so much blood and survived. The poison Else ordered was so lethal that even a few grams could put someone on the brink of death. She put it in a wineglass and made him drink it.
Else retracted his tongue that had been digging into her mouth. The sensation of the flesh that was being robbed of every nook and cranny warmed her. Else trembled with a bloodless face and covered her face with both hands.
“Sob. Ugh... sob...”
The cries that had been building up in her heart seemed to pour out of her throat. Shr couldn't breathe. Her fever was rising, and every fiber of her body that she was wearing was shaking. She didn't want to live. She wanted to die. It seemed like it would have been better if she had lost consciousness. Why, why on earth... Why am I alive? That man is dead.
There was no need to live now that the man was dead. Sybil was dead. Sybil was dead. Sybil, Sybil... My lover, the father of my babies... He was dead. The man falling apart was vivid before her eyes.
'What should I do? What should I do...'
There was no need to live. Even the breath that was forced into her nasal cavity was terrible. She killed him. She succeeded in killing him, so she shouldn't have regrets. But it was still miserable and tragic. Yes. It was so miserable... It was too scary to endure a world without him...
Else collapsed on the floor, crying bitterly. She was sorry that she couldn't die. She should have drunk together with him and died; if she had, she could have died right away without having to wait until the axe hit her neck...
Else opened her closed eyes and stared into space. It was natural that she would be executed for killing the King. She was thrown in prison, so she knew what would happen even if she didn’t draw a picture of the future. She didn’t know how she would be executed, but it was natural that she would die.
Perhaps she would die even more horribly than Henrietta. At least that stupid woman had not murdered the King. Would she be flayed alive? Or would she be dressed in red-hot armor, and then stabbed from chin to head with a sword?
She wasn't afraid. She didn't want to breathe for even a minute in a world without him. That was unbearable pain and fear.
'You live.'
His voice, now hoarse, rang in her ears. Else bit her lip. You want to live. You want me to live. You want me to live and love and hate you... Knowing how hard it was. Knowing how hard and desolate that life was.
It was her love and hate for him that had dried her up.
It would have been easier if she could only hate him. The life of hating him all her life and mourning her daughter was easy and simple. The life of a woman living alone, wearing a black dress and a black veil, using the castle as her tomb. It was a life she could picture clearly.
Her mother. Because Rosaline did. Rosaline hated Else, the failure of her life, and mourned Dominique. Else could have lived like that too. The opposite was also true. It would have been easier to live a life where she only loved him.
It may have been foolish and foolish, but it would have been much better for Else and Sybil, and for Abelard, who was left alone. But a life of hatred and love... A life of loving someone who cannot forgive... was hell.
It would have been easier if she could only hate him. The life of hating him all her life and mourning her daughter was easy and simple. The life of a woman living alone, wearing a black dress and a black veil, using the castle as her tomb. It was a life she could picture clearly.
Her mother. Because Rosaline did. Rosaline hated Else, the failure of her life, and mourned Dominique. Else could have lived like that too. The opposite was also true. It would have been easier to live a life where she only loved him.
It may have been foolish and foolish, but it would have been much better for Else and Sybil, and for Abelard, who was left alone. But a life of hatred and love... A life of loving someone who cannot forgive... was hell.
She tried to kill him in reality because shr couldn't kill him in her heart. But when shr went to find him with the knife, shr knew. She still loved him. As shr watched the blood spurting from his severed wrist, she realized that she couldn't live in a world without him. Just like an animal with gills can't live outside of water.
Else believed she didn't love him... The reason she couldn't kill him in her heart was that she loved him. It made her sick. She couldn't forgive herself for loving him. She couldn't bear the world without him.
So let's die together. Let's die together and disappear from this world...
'But how could you leave me alone? How could you leave me alone, me alone... How could you do this to me?'
Else's mind was dizzy. She was scratching her dry face and trying to strangle her neck when she put strength into her hands. The iron door opened with a clang. Else looked at him with a blank look.
'Count Loper.'
It was Jules' husband. The man who had been buried in the darkness revealed his face in the light coming through the bars. Else stared at him blankly. The expressionless face was strangely fierce. Their eyes met. The fierce gaze that seemed to be about to be chewed up and swallowed collapsed for a moment. It was when Else, who was looking at his lowered eyebrows, moved her lips.
“Don't say anything.”
He was still using honorifics. Was it to show respect for the Prince's biological mother? Else had many things she wanted to ask. But wasn't she the woman who murdered the King? She just moved her lips and waited for him to say something. Count Loper looked at her for a long time and then opened the prison door.
Is today the day of execution? How long has it been since she lost consciousness? Could it be that Sibyl's funeral is over? Suddenly, Else wanted to see him. Seeing him sleeping peacefully in the coffin, she felt like she could accept any kind of execution. However, Else did not ask for anything. Count Loper entered the prison and said, unshackling Else's wrists and ankles.
“Come out.”
Else followed his words silently. Even if she had to be beheaded today, she would have been happy. She would have been happier if she could just die today. Life had no meaning to her anymore.
Else believed she didn't love him... The reason she couldn't kill him in her heart was that she loved him. It made her sick. She couldn't forgive herself for loving him. She couldn't bear the world without him.
So let's die together. Let's die together and disappear from this world...
'But how could you leave me alone? How could you leave me alone, me alone... How could you do this to me?'
Else's mind was dizzy. She was scratching her dry face and trying to strangle her neck when she put strength into her hands. The iron door opened with a clang. Else looked at him with a blank look.
'Count Loper.'
It was Jules' husband. The man who had been buried in the darkness revealed his face in the light coming through the bars. Else stared at him blankly. The expressionless face was strangely fierce. Their eyes met. The fierce gaze that seemed to be about to be chewed up and swallowed collapsed for a moment. It was when Else, who was looking at his lowered eyebrows, moved her lips.
“Don't say anything.”
He was still using honorifics. Was it to show respect for the Prince's biological mother? Else had many things she wanted to ask. But wasn't she the woman who murdered the King? She just moved her lips and waited for him to say something. Count Loper looked at her for a long time and then opened the prison door.
Is today the day of execution? How long has it been since she lost consciousness? Could it be that Sibyl's funeral is over? Suddenly, Else wanted to see him. Seeing him sleeping peacefully in the coffin, she felt like she could accept any kind of execution. However, Else did not ask for anything. Count Loper entered the prison and said, unshackling Else's wrists and ankles.
“Come out.”
Else followed his words silently. Even if she had to be beheaded today, she would have been happy. She would have been happier if she could just die today. Life had no meaning to her anymore.
Count Loper stood behind Else. When she left the prison, a couple of knights took her away with them.
"Where..."
After walking like that for a while, Else, who had thought she would be led to the execution ground, was instead led to the bedroom of the villa she had been using. Else looked at Count Loper in confusion. The man, whose expression was terrifyingly blank, looked down at her.
“You will be leaving Siena at 2pm today.”
Leaving Siena... Was she going to be exiled to a distant island? Else stared at him blankly. Count Loper glared at her for a long moment and then closed his eyes. He wiped his dry face with one hand and sighed.
"Where..."
After walking like that for a while, Else, who had thought she would be led to the execution ground, was instead led to the bedroom of the villa she had been using. Else looked at Count Loper in confusion. The man, whose expression was terrifyingly blank, looked down at her.
“You will be leaving Siena at 2pm today.”
Leaving Siena... Was she going to be exiled to a distant island? Else stared at him blankly. Count Loper glared at her for a long moment and then closed his eyes. He wiped his dry face with one hand and sighed.
“Please pack your bags, for you will be leaving with His Highness Prince Abelard.”
“What does that mean?”
“It is His Majesty’s command.”
"His Majesty..."
Else called out, “His Majesty,” with a blank expression. Count Loper, not wanting to deal with her any longer, tried to leave Else. Else, who was absentmindedly mumbling the word “His Majesty,” called out to him.
“Sibyl...”
“Do not act rashly. Even though you are the daughter of a lowly nobleman with no education, you will not dare to disregard the manners of the highest authority of this kingdom.”
Else pursed her lips. Count Loper turned his head away from scolding her fiercely. Else’s face turned pale and trembled, then shedding tears. She called him back carefully once more.
“I am sorry, Sir Alexander. I am a lowly and incompetent woman, and I cannot fathom His Majesty’s will. Why am I not executed in Siena?”
“...Do you want to be executed?”
"..."
“Even if that is the case, you cannot be executed since it is not His Majesty’s will.”
“Sir Alexander, please...”
Else clasped her hands together earnestly. She could not understand why she was not executed. She could not understand what Sibyl had ordered her to do. To take Abelard and leave Siena...
'You live.'
Tears welled up in her eyes. He had been cruel to her to the end. Knowing what life meant to her. Knowing what kind of heart she had to endure, why...?
“His Majesty loves you. He loves you so much... that he is out of his mind.”
The man with a gloomy face opened his heavily locked lips.
“I know how cruel the love of a man who is not in his right mind has been to you. I wish I could apologize to you on his behalf, but I cannot. So I will convey to you the last message that His Majesty wishes to convey.”
Alexander took out a neatly folded piece of parchment from inside his jacket. Else's eyes fell on it.
***
There wasn't much luggage. Else held her son in her arms in the warm afternoon sun. The new son she hadn't seen before had grown up quickly and had become a strong and sturdy baby. The black hair that had grown fluffy had become a little thicker, and his milky skin had also become plump and shiny. Else held her son tightly and closed her eyes. The sweet smell of milk tickled the tip of her chest.
The carriage that had come with her son left Siena without delay. Else looked out the window with hazy eyes. The past days spent in the distant palace seemed like a dream. She fell asleep for the first time in a while, holding her son in her arms. She did not want to stay awake while leaving Siena. It was because she did not want to feel with her whole body that she was leaving Sybil.
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