Sybil nodded. There was no way she didn’t know about that garden. It was a simple garden that Else tended whenever she had free time. Sybil wanted to create a garden of her own for the palace. A larger and more splendid garden than Lugdun’s... A beautiful garden with luscious fruit trees and green garden trees. So that Else and the babies could always run around and play.
“Else.”
Else, who was looking at the abundant delphiniums on the table, carefully raised her head.
“I heard it once... Why do you hate me?”
“...”
“That’s the meaning of delphinium.”
Else's lips trembled slightly. In fact, she knew that it was up to her. Whoever named it, the meaning of the flower must have been given by someone. If that's the case, wouldn't it be okay to just name it anew? However, back when Else knew the meaning of the flower, she was still a girl.
It was an age when even the smallest and most trivial things were given meaning and delved into. Else had long feared that this melancholy flower would stain her love. At other times, this small and innocent flower seemed to match her melancholy love.
“Actually, it doesn’t mean anything. What does this little flower mean? But today, I just thought of it...”
“I didn’t know that was what it meant. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Sibyl pursed his lips. He had never thought about its meaning. He had even less known that Else would take it to heart. Even in the summer when he had carelessly picked it and held it out, it was simply because it was beautiful... Because the flowers held in her white arms were lovely. That was all.
Sibyl stared blankly at her. The peonies on her deep chest and the sky-blue dress reminded her of her daughter. Even the flowers decorating the table were prepared to bring back memories of the past. The dress he gave her after giving birth was one in which she had added meaning to each and every embroidery.
It was the dress she cherished the most, so she never took it out and wore it. He wanted to kiss the face that smiled faintly, erasing her hatred. Suddenly, Else's gaze turned to look over his shoulder. The faint smile that had spread across her pale face disappeared.
Sibyl looked at the glass the maid brought out. The wine must have already been tasted. He looked at the wine glasses placed in front of Else and himself. Else, who was looking at the round, transparent glass, stared at him.
“Hermi appeared in my dream.”
“..."
“When she left, she was just a newborn baby... It was amazing how she could walk with a limp. I wanted to see her walking. With a limp...”
The servant poured red wine into the glass. Else lowered her head and glanced at the departing servant before turning away. Sybil had no expression. He was calm and composed... Even though she was talking about her dead daughter.
Rather, when he sat at the table and looked at the delphinium, there were more changes in his expression. Suddenly, the question occurred to her: what kind of existence was Hermi to him? Since she became pregnant, Else had always lived for her children. Thus, she had never been a mother for even a moment. But... Anger rose. The love that had started in the gloomy, rainy summer. Now, she wanted to end it. Else picked up her glass.
The red wine sloshed inside the wineglass. The poison was stuck to the glass. The poison, which left no trace from the moment it dried, also had no smell.
“It’s the drink that the King of a neighboring country enjoys drinking.”
Sibyl did not respond. Else smiled brightly before committing murder. Even though she was spitting blood, she did not want to die before Sibyl. She definitely wanted to die after seeing him close his eyes.
“Else.”
Else, who was looking at the abundant delphiniums on the table, carefully raised her head.
“I heard it once... Why do you hate me?”
“...”
“That’s the meaning of delphinium.”
Else's lips trembled slightly. In fact, she knew that it was up to her. Whoever named it, the meaning of the flower must have been given by someone. If that's the case, wouldn't it be okay to just name it anew? However, back when Else knew the meaning of the flower, she was still a girl.
It was an age when even the smallest and most trivial things were given meaning and delved into. Else had long feared that this melancholy flower would stain her love. At other times, this small and innocent flower seemed to match her melancholy love.
“Actually, it doesn’t mean anything. What does this little flower mean? But today, I just thought of it...”
“I didn’t know that was what it meant. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Sibyl pursed his lips. He had never thought about its meaning. He had even less known that Else would take it to heart. Even in the summer when he had carelessly picked it and held it out, it was simply because it was beautiful... Because the flowers held in her white arms were lovely. That was all.
Sibyl stared blankly at her. The peonies on her deep chest and the sky-blue dress reminded her of her daughter. Even the flowers decorating the table were prepared to bring back memories of the past. The dress he gave her after giving birth was one in which she had added meaning to each and every embroidery.
It was the dress she cherished the most, so she never took it out and wore it. He wanted to kiss the face that smiled faintly, erasing her hatred. Suddenly, Else's gaze turned to look over his shoulder. The faint smile that had spread across her pale face disappeared.
Sibyl looked at the glass the maid brought out. The wine must have already been tasted. He looked at the wine glasses placed in front of Else and himself. Else, who was looking at the round, transparent glass, stared at him.
***
“Hermi appeared in my dream.”
“..."
“When she left, she was just a newborn baby... It was amazing how she could walk with a limp. I wanted to see her walking. With a limp...”
The servant poured red wine into the glass. Else lowered her head and glanced at the departing servant before turning away. Sybil had no expression. He was calm and composed... Even though she was talking about her dead daughter.
Rather, when he sat at the table and looked at the delphinium, there were more changes in his expression. Suddenly, the question occurred to her: what kind of existence was Hermi to him? Since she became pregnant, Else had always lived for her children. Thus, she had never been a mother for even a moment. But... Anger rose. The love that had started in the gloomy, rainy summer. Now, she wanted to end it. Else picked up her glass.
The red wine sloshed inside the wineglass. The poison was stuck to the glass. The poison, which left no trace from the moment it dried, also had no smell.
“It’s the drink that the King of a neighboring country enjoys drinking.”
Sibyl did not respond. Else smiled brightly before committing murder. Even though she was spitting blood, she did not want to die before Sibyl. She definitely wanted to die after seeing him close his eyes.
Sweat formed on her fingers holding the glass. Else lowered her gaze as she watched him not respond. She saw the bandage hidden under his sleeve. In an instant, the heat that had been tightly packed in her lower abdomen began to boil. Else slightly distorted her eyes and muttered softly.
“I want to see you die... When I think of you alive and smiling happily...”
Mumble, mumble. She swallowed her half-slurred words and bit her lips hard. She had to come to her senses. Else tried to control her expression and smile again. Sibyl just looked at her expressionlessly.
“Else.”
“Take this. This is my apology for the cut on your wrist.”
She smiled brightly. Her lips, which were pulled tight, hurt. She unconsciously poured the alcohol into her lips first. It was the alcohol she had been trying to drink at the same time. However, no matter how much time was wasted, Sybil only swirled the wineglass around and around, and did not drink. Did she have to drink first to feel safe and swallow it? She remembered that they had said that she had to drink at least three sips to see the effect.
“...There’s no need for that.”
It was when she had a drink in her mouth. The man who had pulled Else’s neck suddenly kissed her. His soft tongue split open her mouth and stole the drink. It was a strong force that took her breath away. The force that sucked her lips and stole every corner of her mouth was vicious.
Else opened her eyes, which she had closed tightly in surprise. A faint warmth shone through his dull, dry, blue-gray eyes. They had kind and affectionate eyes. The most kind and affectionate eyes in the world... Merciful and warm eyes. The eyes of the lover Else had been longing for. Her eyelids fluttered. The heat that had suddenly surged up made her eyes moist. Tears fell from one of Else’s eyes. The long kiss ended when the tears that had flowed down her cheeks gathered on her chin.
“You don’t have to die too.”
He swallowed the poison without leaving a trace, then gently pulled his lips away and whispered. Else turned white and trembled. When Else tried to grab the wineglass again, his hand slammed the glass down hard. The wineglass fell to the floor along with the bottle.
“What, what...”
“You live.”
His breathing was not normal. Else’s eyelashes trembled, and she touched his lips that were starting to turn blue. She couldn’t believe it. She stroked his face, which was starting to sweat. His lips, which were starting to lose their color, shook with a cough. Finally, blood started to spurt out from between his lips.
“Sibyl...”
It was a distant hum. Sibyl grabbed the hand of the woman who was touching his cheek. Else staggered and sat down. He wiped away the tears that were flowing endlessly. He tried to smile by pulling the corners of his lips. Her beautiful dress became dirty every time the poison dissolved her internal organs and regurgitated blood.
Sybil calmed the shivering woman, wiping the blood from her face.
“Don’t die. You...”
“Sibyl, Sibyl...”
Blood stained the neatly tied cravat. Sibyl looked at the woman who was trembling and weeping endlessly. The woman who loved him but hated him was afraid of his death. The woman who planned to die because she was afraid of loving was saddened by his death.
Je knew Else. He knew how deep the pain was in Else’s choice. She was a woman who faced the floor every time she opened her eyes. He also knew that love had died on that floor, and that every time she felt it, she couldn’t breathe due to her self-destructiveness.
The father of the daughter who took her away. The man who committed an unspeakable sin in front of her. The lover she had loved for a long time. The one who caused all that pain was the love she had cherished for her entire life.
Is there any love that can spread more? But...
“Ugh, no, no. No. Sibyl...”
She still loved Sybil. Sybil, who had stopped coughing, left a kiss on her damp cheek.
“...You don’t have to forgive me.”
The voice, as dry as a sackcloth, was as dry as a rag. He strained his throat as it closed. Else cried. She cried and clung to him. A large, bloody hand grabbed her cheek.
“...It’s okay if you love me.”
Else shook her head. Sybil smiled. Hermi was a sweet and loving child. If only she had lived instead of dying. If only Sybil had not bullied her... If only he had looked after her and protected her like a father should...
“Hermi will forgive.”
Because it's you, not me. Because she really loved her mother. She will always love you, so it's okay. Else. You don't have to love me, but you don't have to forgive me. That's okay. My love is not a withered flower, but a shoe that doesn't wear out. Put me in your drawer, and hug me tenderly sometimes when you think of me.
“I want to see you die... When I think of you alive and smiling happily...”
Mumble, mumble. She swallowed her half-slurred words and bit her lips hard. She had to come to her senses. Else tried to control her expression and smile again. Sibyl just looked at her expressionlessly.
“Else.”
“Take this. This is my apology for the cut on your wrist.”
She smiled brightly. Her lips, which were pulled tight, hurt. She unconsciously poured the alcohol into her lips first. It was the alcohol she had been trying to drink at the same time. However, no matter how much time was wasted, Sybil only swirled the wineglass around and around, and did not drink. Did she have to drink first to feel safe and swallow it? She remembered that they had said that she had to drink at least three sips to see the effect.
“...There’s no need for that.”
It was when she had a drink in her mouth. The man who had pulled Else’s neck suddenly kissed her. His soft tongue split open her mouth and stole the drink. It was a strong force that took her breath away. The force that sucked her lips and stole every corner of her mouth was vicious.
Else opened her eyes, which she had closed tightly in surprise. A faint warmth shone through his dull, dry, blue-gray eyes. They had kind and affectionate eyes. The most kind and affectionate eyes in the world... Merciful and warm eyes. The eyes of the lover Else had been longing for. Her eyelids fluttered. The heat that had suddenly surged up made her eyes moist. Tears fell from one of Else’s eyes. The long kiss ended when the tears that had flowed down her cheeks gathered on her chin.
“You don’t have to die too.”
He swallowed the poison without leaving a trace, then gently pulled his lips away and whispered. Else turned white and trembled. When Else tried to grab the wineglass again, his hand slammed the glass down hard. The wineglass fell to the floor along with the bottle.
“What, what...”
“You live.”
His breathing was not normal. Else’s eyelashes trembled, and she touched his lips that were starting to turn blue. She couldn’t believe it. She stroked his face, which was starting to sweat. His lips, which were starting to lose their color, shook with a cough. Finally, blood started to spurt out from between his lips.
“Sibyl...”
It was a distant hum. Sibyl grabbed the hand of the woman who was touching his cheek. Else staggered and sat down. He wiped away the tears that were flowing endlessly. He tried to smile by pulling the corners of his lips. Her beautiful dress became dirty every time the poison dissolved her internal organs and regurgitated blood.
Sybil calmed the shivering woman, wiping the blood from her face.
“Don’t die. You...”
“Sibyl, Sibyl...”
Blood stained the neatly tied cravat. Sibyl looked at the woman who was trembling and weeping endlessly. The woman who loved him but hated him was afraid of his death. The woman who planned to die because she was afraid of loving was saddened by his death.
Je knew Else. He knew how deep the pain was in Else’s choice. She was a woman who faced the floor every time she opened her eyes. He also knew that love had died on that floor, and that every time she felt it, she couldn’t breathe due to her self-destructiveness.
The father of the daughter who took her away. The man who committed an unspeakable sin in front of her. The lover she had loved for a long time. The one who caused all that pain was the love she had cherished for her entire life.
Is there any love that can spread more? But...
“Ugh, no, no. No. Sibyl...”
She still loved Sybil. Sybil, who had stopped coughing, left a kiss on her damp cheek.
“...You don’t have to forgive me.”
The voice, as dry as a sackcloth, was as dry as a rag. He strained his throat as it closed. Else cried. She cried and clung to him. A large, bloody hand grabbed her cheek.
“...It’s okay if you love me.”
Else shook her head. Sybil smiled. Hermi was a sweet and loving child. If only she had lived instead of dying. If only Sybil had not bullied her... If only he had looked after her and protected her like a father should...
“Hermi will forgive.”
Because it's you, not me. Because she really loved her mother. She will always love you, so it's okay. Else. You don't have to love me, but you don't have to forgive me. That's okay. My love is not a withered flower, but a shoe that doesn't wear out. Put me in your drawer, and hug me tenderly sometimes when you think of me.
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