Ian didn't answer. Instead, he asked back and smiled, the corners of his lips slipping. Else looked at him blankly and shook her head. She wanted to be a good master to Ian. Just like she wanted to be a good bed partner. She always wanted to treat him well after forcibly taking him.
She was determined to let him go when the time came and pay for all the hardships he endured. She showed that on days when she was afraid that Ian would not be able to endure her. She told him that it wasn't long. She told him that if he just waited a little longer, he would be free.
Else sometimes imagined the day when she would show Ian the broken slave contract. Her heart would flutter as she thought of Ian becoming a free man at Else's hands. She wished Ian would look at her with grateful eyes. She wished they could end their relationship like that.
'... I wish he could marry Ivana.'
Whoever he married, it was Ian's decision. He might not marry Ivana after becoming a free man. But Else thought it would be good if it was Ivana. Even though she didn't like Ivana, they were very close and had a bond that Else couldn't interfere with. Plus, she was very devoted to Ian and Ian liked her too.
If a man and a woman were like that, wouldn't they be lovers? At that time, Else also seemed to have let go. At some point, she let go. That's why she didn't think about separating Ivana from Ian anymore. After admitting that Ivana was important and precious to Ian, there were times when Else pretended not to see Ivana touch Ian in front of her.
It was painful to acknowledge their relationship, but there was no room for Else to interfere. It was better to keep reminding herself that they were lovers and that they were destined to get married.
So Else had to pretend she didn't see it today. Because there really wasn't much left. She was able to get through it like she always had. There were many times when she felt sick inside but she endured it. But...
“Ian.”
Ivana, who had been chattering, called him in a soft but clear voice. Else looked at Ian with a face that was about to collapse. Surprisingly, his face was expressionless. The sharp, thorny outlines were rough and sharp. He lifted Ivana's skirt and only looked at Else. He shook off the woman he was holding and walked towards Else step by step.
Else stared at her white thighs beneath the hem of her skirt. Her skin was dry and firm, and there were handprints all over her. Is this what it feels like when blood spurts out from a cut artery? The pale moonlight soaked into her exposed chest. Did the hand that had been groping her thighs also grab her swollen chest?
Did he lick and nibble the curves of her chest with his tongue like he did to Else? Probably. On nights when Else wasn't looking, he would lift Ivana's legs, put them on his waist, and thrust.
Ivana was precious to Ian. He said that she was someone he could never lose. She was a woman he had known for a very long time. So Ian might not have had anything to give to Else.
They must have had a bond so strong and solid that Else couldn't interfere. She turned around as if she had seen a ghost with the eyes of a mountain man. Her weak knees trembled as if they would collapse at any moment.
Just as she was about to turn around and get away from them, a faint nasal sound was heard. 'Ian...' Ivana called him softly. Else, who was trying to make her way through the darkness in a daze, turned around. She doesn't know where she got such strength.
Else, who ran out staggering, grabbed Ian's arm and hung on. She raised her fingernails and tried to scratch and damage anything she could find, whether it was his face or his arms.
“Why are you doing this to me! To me! To me!”
In front of Else's bedroom, Else held the woman she hated the most in his arms. It was okay not to love her. She could understand that he hated her so much that he couldn't stand it. But still, still...
“You can feel sorry for me! You can think of me as pitiful!”
Else didn't expect love. She's been hoping for good deeds for a long time. She wishes he could be kind to her, even if it's just pity. She'd rather trample on her heart and break it...
“Why, why!”
Else screamed like crazy. Not a single tear came out of her dry eyes. Her face, which had not a drop of moisture, turned pale and looked like a demon. Her hair, which had been neatly tied with a ribbon at the back of her ears, was also a mess.
A long hand touched Else's cheek as she punched Ian's chest. At that moment, tears that she had thought would dry up and not flow even a single drop soaked her cheek. Else stopped punching and trembled. The hand that touched her wet cheek was affectionate and warm.
Else kicked his hand away, arched her back, and began to vomit. She remembered not having eaten a single carrot from dinner. Her stomach was empty. She had only had water from morning to night. And yet her stomach was churning and rumbling. His hand touched her back as she panted. It felt like a bug was crawling on her back. Else straightened her back, staggered to her feet, and glared at him.
“Don’t touch my body... don’t touch my body.”
The body, unable to keep its balance, slammed into the wall. The cool air rising from the wall cooled Else's feverish body. Several footsteps were heard behind her. Instead of fighting them off, Else looked at Ian and Ivana.
The tears that were on the tip of her chin fell silently. Long ago, her father had bought slaves from the North from slave traders and wanted to send them as the stable keeper's adopted daughter and son. Else stopped her father and took one of them, a boy as beautiful as the eternal snow, as her slave.
She shouldn’t have done that. She should have sent them to the stable as her father had intended. Then Else would have been able to close her eyes a little more comfortably. She wouldn’t have been hung up on a love that couldn’t be reached... Then she wouldn’t have suffered from love, she wouldn’t have become dull from obsession... Her eyes, which had been steady as if looking at a distant horizon, were filled with tears again.
"Miss!"
The servants who had rushed up the stairs looked at Else with surprised faces. Else did not turn her head and just stared blankly at Ian, who was hidden in the darkness. Millium, who had come up the stairs after the servants, gently grabbed Else's shoulder.
"Else, what's the matter?"
Ian's eyes turned cold as he met his low voice. Else turned her gaze away from him and groped her lips.
“Nothing, nothing...”
She turned her head and stopped her quivering lips. The hand that had been holding her shoulder caressed Else’s wet cheek. Else raised her gaze and looked at her fiancé, then turned her head again. A beautiful man covered in pale moonlight was faint. It was as if he was groping for a vision stuck in the darkness.
The gaze that was barely held up fell back to the floor. It occurred to her that now was the only time she had to break free of everything that had bound her to the world.
“...He tried to attack me.”
Her lips, lost in thought, spoke alone. Else was afraid of seeing her father, so she kept her eyes on the floor the whole time she was facing him. He didn’t ask anything. Elliot looked down at his daughter, who was sitting on the bed in a mess.
The daughter who had gone out to get some fresh air did not return for a long time. He was about to send a servant to look for her when he heard a familiar screech. Elliot narrowed his eyebrows out of habit and Millium got up and said he would go to the second floor where the sound had come from.
And then...
“I wish you would just send him away.”
One summer, the green pond-like eyes shook darkly. Elliot took his eyes off his daughter. His daughter, with disheveled hair and face, looked up at him with a dazed face.
“Don’t hurt him. Just give him some money...”
“Didn’t you say that he tried to pounce on you? That’s why you said that’s what happened?”
“Yes. But it’s not that bad.”
“Don’t make me laugh with your ridiculous rhythm.”
"...Father."
Elliot's lips were tightly shut. It was just a servant causing a commotion. There was no need to make a fuss in the castle now that he had important guests. Especially since they were called in for his daughter's engagement. And, sadly, his daughter was the center of the commotion.
What on earth is this kid good at? What is she doing that helps him? Elliot tries not to despise her, but he always finds himself getting sick of this. A daughter who has nothing but a pretty face. And even that pretty face doesn't help him much.
Even if he tried to sell her for cheap if it was known that she was a sickly woman who frequently suffered from fever, half of the suitors would surely turn away. Many men were crazy about her pretty face regardless of whether they were in the capital or the border, but would they really choose a woman who was frequently bedridden as the womb to give birth to their successor?
What would happen if one day he heard from the doctor that it would be difficult for her to have even one proper child, let alone a son, with her weak body? Could he not hold the responsibility for this on his family, the Roate family? In that case, rather than handing it over to a great noble of the capital, it would be better to marry her off to a proper family. Just like Rosaline's father had done. It would have been better to have a son-in-law from a family that was not a family he had to bow down to, but a family that was of decent standard.
She was determined to let him go when the time came and pay for all the hardships he endured. She showed that on days when she was afraid that Ian would not be able to endure her. She told him that it wasn't long. She told him that if he just waited a little longer, he would be free.
Else sometimes imagined the day when she would show Ian the broken slave contract. Her heart would flutter as she thought of Ian becoming a free man at Else's hands. She wished Ian would look at her with grateful eyes. She wished they could end their relationship like that.
'... I wish he could marry Ivana.'
Whoever he married, it was Ian's decision. He might not marry Ivana after becoming a free man. But Else thought it would be good if it was Ivana. Even though she didn't like Ivana, they were very close and had a bond that Else couldn't interfere with. Plus, she was very devoted to Ian and Ian liked her too.
If a man and a woman were like that, wouldn't they be lovers? At that time, Else also seemed to have let go. At some point, she let go. That's why she didn't think about separating Ivana from Ian anymore. After admitting that Ivana was important and precious to Ian, there were times when Else pretended not to see Ivana touch Ian in front of her.
It was painful to acknowledge their relationship, but there was no room for Else to interfere. It was better to keep reminding herself that they were lovers and that they were destined to get married.
So Else had to pretend she didn't see it today. Because there really wasn't much left. She was able to get through it like she always had. There were many times when she felt sick inside but she endured it. But...
“Ian.”
Ivana, who had been chattering, called him in a soft but clear voice. Else looked at Ian with a face that was about to collapse. Surprisingly, his face was expressionless. The sharp, thorny outlines were rough and sharp. He lifted Ivana's skirt and only looked at Else. He shook off the woman he was holding and walked towards Else step by step.
***
Else stared at her white thighs beneath the hem of her skirt. Her skin was dry and firm, and there were handprints all over her. Is this what it feels like when blood spurts out from a cut artery? The pale moonlight soaked into her exposed chest. Did the hand that had been groping her thighs also grab her swollen chest?
Did he lick and nibble the curves of her chest with his tongue like he did to Else? Probably. On nights when Else wasn't looking, he would lift Ivana's legs, put them on his waist, and thrust.
Ivana was precious to Ian. He said that she was someone he could never lose. She was a woman he had known for a very long time. So Ian might not have had anything to give to Else.
They must have had a bond so strong and solid that Else couldn't interfere. She turned around as if she had seen a ghost with the eyes of a mountain man. Her weak knees trembled as if they would collapse at any moment.
Just as she was about to turn around and get away from them, a faint nasal sound was heard. 'Ian...' Ivana called him softly. Else, who was trying to make her way through the darkness in a daze, turned around. She doesn't know where she got such strength.
Else, who ran out staggering, grabbed Ian's arm and hung on. She raised her fingernails and tried to scratch and damage anything she could find, whether it was his face or his arms.
“Why are you doing this to me! To me! To me!”
In front of Else's bedroom, Else held the woman she hated the most in his arms. It was okay not to love her. She could understand that he hated her so much that he couldn't stand it. But still, still...
“You can feel sorry for me! You can think of me as pitiful!”
Else didn't expect love. She's been hoping for good deeds for a long time. She wishes he could be kind to her, even if it's just pity. She'd rather trample on her heart and break it...
“Why, why!”
Else screamed like crazy. Not a single tear came out of her dry eyes. Her face, which had not a drop of moisture, turned pale and looked like a demon. Her hair, which had been neatly tied with a ribbon at the back of her ears, was also a mess.
A long hand touched Else's cheek as she punched Ian's chest. At that moment, tears that she had thought would dry up and not flow even a single drop soaked her cheek. Else stopped punching and trembled. The hand that touched her wet cheek was affectionate and warm.
Else kicked his hand away, arched her back, and began to vomit. She remembered not having eaten a single carrot from dinner. Her stomach was empty. She had only had water from morning to night. And yet her stomach was churning and rumbling. His hand touched her back as she panted. It felt like a bug was crawling on her back. Else straightened her back, staggered to her feet, and glared at him.
“Don’t touch my body... don’t touch my body.”
The body, unable to keep its balance, slammed into the wall. The cool air rising from the wall cooled Else's feverish body. Several footsteps were heard behind her. Instead of fighting them off, Else looked at Ian and Ivana.
The tears that were on the tip of her chin fell silently. Long ago, her father had bought slaves from the North from slave traders and wanted to send them as the stable keeper's adopted daughter and son. Else stopped her father and took one of them, a boy as beautiful as the eternal snow, as her slave.
She shouldn’t have done that. She should have sent them to the stable as her father had intended. Then Else would have been able to close her eyes a little more comfortably. She wouldn’t have been hung up on a love that couldn’t be reached... Then she wouldn’t have suffered from love, she wouldn’t have become dull from obsession... Her eyes, which had been steady as if looking at a distant horizon, were filled with tears again.
"Miss!"
The servants who had rushed up the stairs looked at Else with surprised faces. Else did not turn her head and just stared blankly at Ian, who was hidden in the darkness. Millium, who had come up the stairs after the servants, gently grabbed Else's shoulder.
"Else, what's the matter?"
Ian's eyes turned cold as he met his low voice. Else turned her gaze away from him and groped her lips.
“Nothing, nothing...”
She turned her head and stopped her quivering lips. The hand that had been holding her shoulder caressed Else’s wet cheek. Else raised her gaze and looked at her fiancé, then turned her head again. A beautiful man covered in pale moonlight was faint. It was as if he was groping for a vision stuck in the darkness.
The gaze that was barely held up fell back to the floor. It occurred to her that now was the only time she had to break free of everything that had bound her to the world.
***
“...He tried to attack me.”
Her lips, lost in thought, spoke alone. Else was afraid of seeing her father, so she kept her eyes on the floor the whole time she was facing him. He didn’t ask anything. Elliot looked down at his daughter, who was sitting on the bed in a mess.
The daughter who had gone out to get some fresh air did not return for a long time. He was about to send a servant to look for her when he heard a familiar screech. Elliot narrowed his eyebrows out of habit and Millium got up and said he would go to the second floor where the sound had come from.
And then...
“I wish you would just send him away.”
One summer, the green pond-like eyes shook darkly. Elliot took his eyes off his daughter. His daughter, with disheveled hair and face, looked up at him with a dazed face.
“Don’t hurt him. Just give him some money...”
“Didn’t you say that he tried to pounce on you? That’s why you said that’s what happened?”
“Yes. But it’s not that bad.”
“Don’t make me laugh with your ridiculous rhythm.”
"...Father."
Elliot's lips were tightly shut. It was just a servant causing a commotion. There was no need to make a fuss in the castle now that he had important guests. Especially since they were called in for his daughter's engagement. And, sadly, his daughter was the center of the commotion.
What on earth is this kid good at? What is she doing that helps him? Elliot tries not to despise her, but he always finds himself getting sick of this. A daughter who has nothing but a pretty face. And even that pretty face doesn't help him much.
Even if he tried to sell her for cheap if it was known that she was a sickly woman who frequently suffered from fever, half of the suitors would surely turn away. Many men were crazy about her pretty face regardless of whether they were in the capital or the border, but would they really choose a woman who was frequently bedridden as the womb to give birth to their successor?
What would happen if one day he heard from the doctor that it would be difficult for her to have even one proper child, let alone a son, with her weak body? Could he not hold the responsibility for this on his family, the Roate family? In that case, rather than handing it over to a great noble of the capital, it would be better to marry her off to a proper family. Just like Rosaline's father had done. It would have been better to have a son-in-law from a family that was not a family he had to bow down to, but a family that was of decent standard.
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