Of course, there must have been many sons of great lords who were blinded by beauty and would take out their liver and gall bladder.
If her father was a man who didn't know the subject. If he was the kind of person who would sell his daughter without thinking about the consequences to satisfy his greed, he would have made a fortune by having his sickly daughter, who was always sick, debut in the capital. Surely, there was no such perfect beauty even in the royal capital.
Millium thought of his fiancée, who had just arrived in the capital and was entering society in a simple dress. She would be more beautiful than any noble lady. Like an angel descending to earth. The noble ladies of the royal capital, who would be wrapped in satin dresses and gorgeous jewels, their tails puffed out like peacocks, were nothing to Else. She could easily beat up any woman in the world, even if she wore only a shabby piece of cloth. Such a woman would belong to Millium. She would become his, bear his children, and be stuffed into his world.
Above all, by possessing her, he becomes a lord with territory and title. He looked at Else, who was just fumbling around the table, holding the cutlery. Else was pale, unable to put a single ripe carrot in her mouth.
His eyes met with the woman who slowly raised her head. Absinthe. Her eyes were more provocative and suggestive than cheap liquor, and they were vulgarly lewd. They were frightened eyes. His dark, twisted gaze wavered slightly before quickly falling back. Millium pulled the corners of his lips together and smiled deeply. Else, who had pursed her lips, got up from her seat.
“I’ll go get some fresh air for a bit.”
***
He was the man who would become her husband in two months. How should she deal with the fear that made her insides twist in front of him? Else went out to the balcony, put her hands on her chest, and closed her eyes. The wind cooled the heat in her head, but it couldn't take away the heat that had accumulated in her brain. She opened her closed eyes and took a deep breath.
It was in front of her father and mother. She did not want to disappoint them. Even though they had treated her coldly for a long time. He was the son of a lord and a daughter of the Roate family. Even though she could not inherit what her ancestors had given her and could not uphold their glory, her marriage was her father's wish. So...
She wiped the thin moisture from her eyes and swallowed dry saliva. The wind tossed her long hair. She thought about everything she had ruined since birth. She had never said it out loud, but her parents had resented and hated her for not loving her. Since Else was the last, her father’s small ambitions were crushed and fell to the ground. Her grandfather had once bet everything on her father. He had used the family’s poor finances to send her father to the royal academy and had spared no financial support so that he could debut in the court society for the sake of hia connections. All of that, all of that, had been in vain because of her.
If only she had died and her father had found a new opportunity. If only she had, her mother wouldn’t have been so sick. She thought of the woman who would stay in her tomb-like bedroom all day long, her heart aching, and never come out. She heard that her mother and father once loved each other very much. She heard that couples who chose marriage with a clear purpose have different desires other than their common purpose and have a government, but her father and mother devoted their youth to each other without a single fight for a long time.
So, for a long time, they were happy and blessed even though they didn't have any children. Their happiness must have reached its peak when her dead brother was born. Why was she born like this? Why was she born sickly and lived for so long? If only she had died young...
The hand that was tightly clenched to her chest loosened its strength. Else’s hand fell to the balcony railing. The words her mother had once said came back to her mind.
'My poor Else. My poor daughter... If you were dead, both he and I would be free...'
The face was completely dry. The clown was completely exposed, the eyes were hollow and sunken. The lips that had lost their color were slowly killing Else. It wasn't 'If you had died'. So the whispers that were neither past nor assumption began to kill Else slowly and clearly. Else always thought about death after that. She thought only about dying very earnestly.
Even when she was occasionally sick with a fever, she only thought about one thing. She wished there would come a moment when she would never be able to open her eyes again. Because when there comes a moment when she doesn’t have anything to wish for or anyone to desire, her heart will be completely at ease.
Then Ian too... Else slowly thought about the people she had pushed into hell. She was the one who had pushed her mother into hell. Her life had always been hell since Else was born. Ian would be the same. That man had been hell since the moment he met Else.
'I wish I could die quickly.'
When Else lifted her lowered gaze, she heard a thin moan mixed with a nasal sound. It was a thin and long sound like a cat's meow. Else flinched and hardened her face. The balcony was far from the hall where the meal was being held. The balcony where Else was was in front of her bedroom. She narrowed her eyebrows and walked cautiously.
“Ugh, Ian...”
It was a dark hallway with no lights. It wasn't hard to figure out who the owner of the murky voice was. Else was familiar with the woman. But more than that, the name of the man she was whispering was...
“Ah! Wait, Ian...”
'Because that child is mine.'
It was a short, firm hum. The sharp eyes seemed stubborn as if they were pointing out a boundary that should not be crossed. When Else thought of Ivana, she always thought of the stubborn Ian of that day. A memory that left a trace in her mind even if she tried not to leave it. Even after that day, Else had tried to separate Ivana from Ian.
No, she did that a lot. Every time Ian became affectionate and kind, she asked if he could send Ivana somewhere else. She even said that if he was worried about the far place, she could send her somewhere close. If she didn't like the castle of his maternal uncle, Baron Gerjon, how about just sending Ivana out of the castle? But he was refused every time.
That was something that he would not listen to even if Else cried and cried and threw a tantrum on the floor. Eventually, when she was boiling hot and struggling to breathe, Ian came over, hugged her, and comforted her affectionately.
'Ivana and I have been together since we were very young. This is your home and your parents are alive, but this is not my home and my parents are not alive. Don't you feel sorry for me? If I lose Ivana, I will lose a child who is like family to me. Would you want me to lose the only person I consider family?'
Family... Else groped her dry lips. Ian told her that Ivana was his ‘ownership’. Could a slave own a person? Perhaps. What was more powerful than the written results of the sale and purchase was the feeling that a person had when they owned another person.
If you are not sure, you cannot say that someone is yours. But Ian said that he owned Ivana. He was not lying. The most important thing to Ivana seemed to be Ian. The purpose of every day of her life seemed to be Ian.
Ivana seemed ready to plunge her hand into boiling water. Is this what blind devotion is all about? Else envied everything about Ivana. Her slender figure and well-proportioned figure were elegant and graceful even in her simple attire.
Another thing she envied was Ivana's smooth, healthy, wheat-colored skin, unlike her pale skin. Else was pale even on days when she didn't have a fever. She was naturally pale and her complexion was poor, so she always looked sick.
If possible, she wanted to be a beauty with a healthy charm and a rosy face like Ivana. Straight eyebrows and teeth, a high and sharp nose. Rich golden hair and sky blue eyes... Ivana's face, which was too good to live as a maid, looked great when she stood next to Ian. Even Else thought they were a man and woman who would go together well.
That made Else even more jealous. When she heard that Ivana had known Ian since they were young, her feelings were even more twisted. Else was a woman who wanted everything about Ian. She wanted to know everything about him and always wanted to tell him everything about herself.
But even on the days when Ian was very affectionate, Else felt like she couldn't know or have even the slightest part of Ian. Ivana had that man, that Ian. Even if they were family, they weren't family. She couldn't think of the woman who was always around and touched him so shamelessly as his family.
‘...Are you going to get married?’
'What do you mean?'
'With Ivana...'
One night, Else asked him in bed. That night was also the night she took Ian away from Ivana. Ian, who was moving his waist while putting Else’s two legs on his shoulders, narrowed his eyebrows and asked her again. His red eyes, flushed with excitement, were strange. He who had pursed his handsome lips and bit them, burst into laughter. He grabbed Else’s buttocks and spread them apart, watched her bottom being completely exposed, and then grabbed her chest. Then he bent his upper body. Else looked at him earnestly, waiting for his answer.
'Would you like me not to marry Ivana?'
'I wish I could die quickly.'
When Else lifted her lowered gaze, she heard a thin moan mixed with a nasal sound. It was a thin and long sound like a cat's meow. Else flinched and hardened her face. The balcony was far from the hall where the meal was being held. The balcony where Else was was in front of her bedroom. She narrowed her eyebrows and walked cautiously.
“Ugh, Ian...”
It was a dark hallway with no lights. It wasn't hard to figure out who the owner of the murky voice was. Else was familiar with the woman. But more than that, the name of the man she was whispering was...
“Ah! Wait, Ian...”
***
'Because that child is mine.'
It was a short, firm hum. The sharp eyes seemed stubborn as if they were pointing out a boundary that should not be crossed. When Else thought of Ivana, she always thought of the stubborn Ian of that day. A memory that left a trace in her mind even if she tried not to leave it. Even after that day, Else had tried to separate Ivana from Ian.
No, she did that a lot. Every time Ian became affectionate and kind, she asked if he could send Ivana somewhere else. She even said that if he was worried about the far place, she could send her somewhere close. If she didn't like the castle of his maternal uncle, Baron Gerjon, how about just sending Ivana out of the castle? But he was refused every time.
That was something that he would not listen to even if Else cried and cried and threw a tantrum on the floor. Eventually, when she was boiling hot and struggling to breathe, Ian came over, hugged her, and comforted her affectionately.
'Ivana and I have been together since we were very young. This is your home and your parents are alive, but this is not my home and my parents are not alive. Don't you feel sorry for me? If I lose Ivana, I will lose a child who is like family to me. Would you want me to lose the only person I consider family?'
Family... Else groped her dry lips. Ian told her that Ivana was his ‘ownership’. Could a slave own a person? Perhaps. What was more powerful than the written results of the sale and purchase was the feeling that a person had when they owned another person.
If you are not sure, you cannot say that someone is yours. But Ian said that he owned Ivana. He was not lying. The most important thing to Ivana seemed to be Ian. The purpose of every day of her life seemed to be Ian.
Ivana seemed ready to plunge her hand into boiling water. Is this what blind devotion is all about? Else envied everything about Ivana. Her slender figure and well-proportioned figure were elegant and graceful even in her simple attire.
Another thing she envied was Ivana's smooth, healthy, wheat-colored skin, unlike her pale skin. Else was pale even on days when she didn't have a fever. She was naturally pale and her complexion was poor, so she always looked sick.
If possible, she wanted to be a beauty with a healthy charm and a rosy face like Ivana. Straight eyebrows and teeth, a high and sharp nose. Rich golden hair and sky blue eyes... Ivana's face, which was too good to live as a maid, looked great when she stood next to Ian. Even Else thought they were a man and woman who would go together well.
That made Else even more jealous. When she heard that Ivana had known Ian since they were young, her feelings were even more twisted. Else was a woman who wanted everything about Ian. She wanted to know everything about him and always wanted to tell him everything about herself.
But even on the days when Ian was very affectionate, Else felt like she couldn't know or have even the slightest part of Ian. Ivana had that man, that Ian. Even if they were family, they weren't family. She couldn't think of the woman who was always around and touched him so shamelessly as his family.
‘...Are you going to get married?’
'What do you mean?'
'With Ivana...'
One night, Else asked him in bed. That night was also the night she took Ian away from Ivana. Ian, who was moving his waist while putting Else’s two legs on his shoulders, narrowed his eyebrows and asked her again. His red eyes, flushed with excitement, were strange. He who had pursed his handsome lips and bit them, burst into laughter. He grabbed Else’s buttocks and spread them apart, watched her bottom being completely exposed, and then grabbed her chest. Then he bent his upper body. Else looked at him earnestly, waiting for his answer.
'Would you like me not to marry Ivana?'
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment