In the carriage where I was alone with the Count, I leaned against the window frame and lost myself in thought.
The words the Count had said before we left tickled the back of my head the whole time. I also thought of Teacher Julia and Misha’s words about me distancing myself from the Count.
It was the first time the Count had said something like that to me. He might have been the first to express his dissatisfaction with me.
Why didn’t I treat him like a father? But I had already been calling him Count for too long. My tongue muscles had never pronounced the word ‘father’.
The Count said as if he wanted to lighten the mood.
“No one is not in love with Zebron Beach. Can you tell me what color the sea is?”
I answered out of a sense of duty. I wanted to at least answer him regularly, even if I couldn’t be as charming as Misha’s.
“How is it?”
“Look in the mirror.”
“Oh. Yes.”
The color of the sea was the color of my eyes. I knew the Count wanted to cheer me up, but it was a bit much.
“They say the clear, strangely green sea is a beautiful sight. There is a large hotel, but it is very quiet.”
The words the Count had said before we left tickled the back of my head the whole time. I also thought of Teacher Julia and Misha’s words about me distancing myself from the Count.
It was the first time the Count had said something like that to me. He might have been the first to express his dissatisfaction with me.
Why didn’t I treat him like a father? But I had already been calling him Count for too long. My tongue muscles had never pronounced the word ‘father’.
The Count said as if he wanted to lighten the mood.
“No one is not in love with Zebron Beach. Can you tell me what color the sea is?”
I answered out of a sense of duty. I wanted to at least answer him regularly, even if I couldn’t be as charming as Misha’s.
“How is it?”
“Look in the mirror.”
“Oh. Yes.”
The color of the sea was the color of my eyes. I knew the Count wanted to cheer me up, but it was a bit much.
“They say the clear, strangely green sea is a beautiful sight. There is a large hotel, but it is very quiet.”
A large hotel with a lot of flies, that was a big deal.
“Did you check it? What if the hotel is closed when you get there?”
The Count chuckled softly.
“Don’t worry, that hotel won’t close.”
“Yes.”
I had already used up all the sense of duty I had squeezed out and leaned my head against the glass window again.
In fact, I felt like Misha was still whispering next to me, talking about my mother’s letter.
I would never forgive the Countess until I died, but I didn’t want to completely exhaust myself by hating her.
Should I tell the Count about the letter or not? The pendulum of my mind, going back and forth, never stopped in one place.
However, after failing to enter the Academy, it seemed pointless for me to make promises about the future.
A character in a novel I was reading used to say, “I only live for today,” and now I could understand that feeling.
It felt like I could breathe easier if I let something off my chest. Now, I wanted to live a little more leisurely and comfortably.
I opened my mouth.
“You know, Mom missed you. I think she wanted to go back to you.”
The Count looked like he had been hit with a blunt object. Then he turned his head toward the window opposite me, next to him.
A silence too heavy to break settled in the carriage. I could sense that he was struggling.
He asked in a low voice,
“Where did that story come from all of a sudden?”
“It’s just that. You know that.”
I couldn’t mention the Countess. That secret would eventually make the Count unhappy too. I wasn’t crazy enough to hurt the Count.
“...”
“Come to think of it, I think you might have been hurt by my mother too. The woman you wanted to keep by your side ran away and lost contact for ten years, and hid your child too...”
The Count barely managed to snicker.
“How do you not know? Did Melia appear in your dreams?”
“I just know. It’s true, so just know that.”
“...”
“Are you upset because of me?”
“Lorisha. I absolutely told you that you couldn’t enter the Academy...”
“Because I called you Count.”
“...”
He sighed faintly and said.
“I would be happy to hear you call me father once or twice a year.”
I snickered and replied.
“Yes. I can just give you a birthday present.”
“Ha. This.”
“Father.”
“...!”
The Count looked at me in surprise. He quivered, searching for words.
It felt good to see the Count flustered because of me for the first time in a long time.
“This year’s. My father’s birthday has passed.”
The Count turned his head sharply and looked out the window. It was to hide his expression.
I, too, rested my forehead against the window and looked out. My heart pounded without me noticing.
Father. It was as if it was the last foreign language I had learned.
The Count reached over the seat and took my hand, and we were silent until we arrived at the inn.
I thought it was a pretty stupid choice to move from one inn to another just to stay at a hotel. But that thought completely disappeared when I stood in front of the Zebron Hotel.
The pure white brick building standing on the rough and black rock hill was a beauty that could never be seen in the capital or Loire.
The high sky in the background, the soft sound of the waves, and the wind mixed with a faint salty scent, all made people excited. The Count smiled when he saw my expression.
“Let’s go in, Lorisha.”
We got a luxury room at the top of the east wing, and the Count willingly gave me a room with a better view.
Looking at the decorative map hanging at the front desk, I saw that this was a peculiarly curved cape at the end of the southern coast. I ran into the room and went out onto the balcony, where the green sea spread out before me. Only then did I realize that the Count had not been flattering me?
The color of the water along the coastline really resembled my eyes. The waves were clear and calm, and it seemed as if nothing in the world could disturb the calmness of the sea.
Listening to the gentle sound of the waves on the empty terrace made my heart feel refreshed.
To some extent, I thought, 'Isn't it true that I'm going to die if I don't go to the academy?'
The Count pointed out that I was too bound by the constraints of being an illegitimate child, but the Count was the only one in the world who said such things.
If I wanted to be independent, I had to accept my limitations in this world. Limitations that seemed as distant as the walls of the academy annex.
However, I soon realized that it was foolish to bring my worries to this beach.
My future problems would not be solved on their own, but since I had already decided to live only for today, I decided to enjoy the present for now.
I changed into comfortable shoes and headed to the beach. I dipped my hands in the lukewarm seawater and picked out beautifully worn seashells from the pure white sand.
As I walked along the narrow white sand, a rock wall appeared. The pattern of the faults, which were tilted in layers, looked like a decoration of the coast itself.
I followed it up the rocky hill. At the end of the rock was a man wearing a shabby cloak.
Even when he sat on the rock, his back was straight and his strong shoulders were prominent. However, there was a fatigue that I couldn’t explain.
He absentmindedly moved his arm to feel the location of the sword belt on his waist. However, since he didn’t have his sword right now, he ended up making a mistake.
It was a habitual action that a prosecutor would do.
He was probably a knight who had recently returned from the Battle of Amata.
Since the empire was currently praising them as heroes, those who had fought in the war were busy attending all sorts of parties, from commanders to soldiers.
The fact that he was alone in a resort-like this meant that he was either injured or was escorting the owner who had come here to comfort his injured person.
However, since someone who came to work wouldn’t sit like that, it would be the former.
When I thought I should go back, the man who sensed my presence turned his head. At the same time, a gust of wind blew and pulled off his cloak hood.
A silver-haired handsome man appeared from under the hood and glared at me. Her sharp eyes on her slender face were unusual.
It was hard to tell whether her nervous atmosphere was the aftereffects of the war or his original personality.
“What are you doing?”
I answered him bluntly because his tone was harsh when we first met.
“‘What are you doing, bitch?’”
“...What?”
“Not a guy, but a bitch.”
“...Ha.”
The man looked dumbfounded.
I had no intention of disturbing someone else’s rest, so I felt a little wrong. I was busy resting, so what.
I turned around to cross over to the rocky hill over there. I thought I could walk there and then return to the hotel, just in time for the Count to come back after finishing his business.
“Wait a minute.”
I turned around, holding my hair that was blowing in the sea breeze with my hand.
“Why?”
“Are you staying at the hotel too?”
“Why?”
The man frowned at me and picked up his hood.
“Fine. Let me change the question. Who are you?”
“...Ha!”
I put both hands on my waist in bewilderment.
“Excuse me, what’s the point of asking such a weighty existential question when we first meet?”
He groaned uncomfortably, trying to suppress his irritation.
“Did you check it? What if the hotel is closed when you get there?”
The Count chuckled softly.
“Don’t worry, that hotel won’t close.”
“Yes.”
I had already used up all the sense of duty I had squeezed out and leaned my head against the glass window again.
In fact, I felt like Misha was still whispering next to me, talking about my mother’s letter.
I would never forgive the Countess until I died, but I didn’t want to completely exhaust myself by hating her.
Should I tell the Count about the letter or not? The pendulum of my mind, going back and forth, never stopped in one place.
However, after failing to enter the Academy, it seemed pointless for me to make promises about the future.
A character in a novel I was reading used to say, “I only live for today,” and now I could understand that feeling.
It felt like I could breathe easier if I let something off my chest. Now, I wanted to live a little more leisurely and comfortably.
I opened my mouth.
“You know, Mom missed you. I think she wanted to go back to you.”
The Count looked like he had been hit with a blunt object. Then he turned his head toward the window opposite me, next to him.
A silence too heavy to break settled in the carriage. I could sense that he was struggling.
He asked in a low voice,
“Where did that story come from all of a sudden?”
“It’s just that. You know that.”
I couldn’t mention the Countess. That secret would eventually make the Count unhappy too. I wasn’t crazy enough to hurt the Count.
“...”
“Come to think of it, I think you might have been hurt by my mother too. The woman you wanted to keep by your side ran away and lost contact for ten years, and hid your child too...”
The Count barely managed to snicker.
“How do you not know? Did Melia appear in your dreams?”
“I just know. It’s true, so just know that.”
“...”
“Are you upset because of me?”
“Lorisha. I absolutely told you that you couldn’t enter the Academy...”
“Because I called you Count.”
“...”
He sighed faintly and said.
“I would be happy to hear you call me father once or twice a year.”
I snickered and replied.
“Yes. I can just give you a birthday present.”
“Ha. This.”
“Father.”
“...!”
The Count looked at me in surprise. He quivered, searching for words.
It felt good to see the Count flustered because of me for the first time in a long time.
“This year’s. My father’s birthday has passed.”
The Count turned his head sharply and looked out the window. It was to hide his expression.
I, too, rested my forehead against the window and looked out. My heart pounded without me noticing.
Father. It was as if it was the last foreign language I had learned.
The Count reached over the seat and took my hand, and we were silent until we arrived at the inn.
***
I thought it was a pretty stupid choice to move from one inn to another just to stay at a hotel. But that thought completely disappeared when I stood in front of the Zebron Hotel.
The pure white brick building standing on the rough and black rock hill was a beauty that could never be seen in the capital or Loire.
The high sky in the background, the soft sound of the waves, and the wind mixed with a faint salty scent, all made people excited. The Count smiled when he saw my expression.
“Let’s go in, Lorisha.”
We got a luxury room at the top of the east wing, and the Count willingly gave me a room with a better view.
Looking at the decorative map hanging at the front desk, I saw that this was a peculiarly curved cape at the end of the southern coast. I ran into the room and went out onto the balcony, where the green sea spread out before me. Only then did I realize that the Count had not been flattering me?
The color of the water along the coastline really resembled my eyes. The waves were clear and calm, and it seemed as if nothing in the world could disturb the calmness of the sea.
Listening to the gentle sound of the waves on the empty terrace made my heart feel refreshed.
To some extent, I thought, 'Isn't it true that I'm going to die if I don't go to the academy?'
The Count pointed out that I was too bound by the constraints of being an illegitimate child, but the Count was the only one in the world who said such things.
If I wanted to be independent, I had to accept my limitations in this world. Limitations that seemed as distant as the walls of the academy annex.
However, I soon realized that it was foolish to bring my worries to this beach.
My future problems would not be solved on their own, but since I had already decided to live only for today, I decided to enjoy the present for now.
I changed into comfortable shoes and headed to the beach. I dipped my hands in the lukewarm seawater and picked out beautifully worn seashells from the pure white sand.
As I walked along the narrow white sand, a rock wall appeared. The pattern of the faults, which were tilted in layers, looked like a decoration of the coast itself.
I followed it up the rocky hill. At the end of the rock was a man wearing a shabby cloak.
Even when he sat on the rock, his back was straight and his strong shoulders were prominent. However, there was a fatigue that I couldn’t explain.
He absentmindedly moved his arm to feel the location of the sword belt on his waist. However, since he didn’t have his sword right now, he ended up making a mistake.
It was a habitual action that a prosecutor would do.
He was probably a knight who had recently returned from the Battle of Amata.
Since the empire was currently praising them as heroes, those who had fought in the war were busy attending all sorts of parties, from commanders to soldiers.
The fact that he was alone in a resort-like this meant that he was either injured or was escorting the owner who had come here to comfort his injured person.
However, since someone who came to work wouldn’t sit like that, it would be the former.
When I thought I should go back, the man who sensed my presence turned his head. At the same time, a gust of wind blew and pulled off his cloak hood.
A silver-haired handsome man appeared from under the hood and glared at me. Her sharp eyes on her slender face were unusual.
It was hard to tell whether her nervous atmosphere was the aftereffects of the war or his original personality.
“What are you doing?”
I answered him bluntly because his tone was harsh when we first met.
“‘What are you doing, bitch?’”
“...What?”
“Not a guy, but a bitch.”
“...Ha.”
The man looked dumbfounded.
I had no intention of disturbing someone else’s rest, so I felt a little wrong. I was busy resting, so what.
I turned around to cross over to the rocky hill over there. I thought I could walk there and then return to the hotel, just in time for the Count to come back after finishing his business.
“Wait a minute.”
I turned around, holding my hair that was blowing in the sea breeze with my hand.
“Why?”
“Are you staying at the hotel too?”
“Why?”
The man frowned at me and picked up his hood.
“Fine. Let me change the question. Who are you?”
“...Ha!”
I put both hands on my waist in bewilderment.
“Excuse me, what’s the point of asking such a weighty existential question when we first meet?”
He groaned uncomfortably, trying to suppress his irritation.
“You have a habit of cutting people off.”
Today, even though I was dressed like a Count’s daughter, this man always spoke informally to me. I guess my commoner side just couldn’t be hidden.
But what if I did this?
I was going to speak informally to him, but he seemed a few years older than me, so I decided to let it slide. It was also a courtesy to a returning warrior.
“Are you back from Tunbar?”
I saw a brief twitch of his eyebrows.
“Do you think so?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
he asked, as if he was very suspicious.
He seemed suspicious.
I was starting to get tired of talking to this man.
“I saw you checking your sword on the way up here. Are you a knight?”
“Similar.”
“You must have received many war awards. I heard that hotel is expensive.”
Of course, I don’t know how much the hotel costs. I just assumed it would be expensive since it was the hotel the Count chose.
The man laughed softly.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m looking for answers to questions similar to yours. Something much more realistic than ‘who am I?’”
“Aha.”
The man laughed, but he barely made a sound, just shaking his body.
I turned around and greeted him.
“I hope you enjoy Zebron ‘now’ to the fullest. Then.”
The man’s eyes turned sharp for a moment at the thoughtless remark. Oh, my, I’m surprised.
“What do you mean?”
Today, even though I was dressed like a Count’s daughter, this man always spoke informally to me. I guess my commoner side just couldn’t be hidden.
But what if I did this?
I was going to speak informally to him, but he seemed a few years older than me, so I decided to let it slide. It was also a courtesy to a returning warrior.
“Are you back from Tunbar?”
I saw a brief twitch of his eyebrows.
“Do you think so?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
he asked, as if he was very suspicious.
He seemed suspicious.
I was starting to get tired of talking to this man.
“I saw you checking your sword on the way up here. Are you a knight?”
“Similar.”
“You must have received many war awards. I heard that hotel is expensive.”
Of course, I don’t know how much the hotel costs. I just assumed it would be expensive since it was the hotel the Count chose.
The man laughed softly.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m looking for answers to questions similar to yours. Something much more realistic than ‘who am I?’”
“Aha.”
The man laughed, but he barely made a sound, just shaking his body.
I turned around and greeted him.
“I hope you enjoy Zebron ‘now’ to the fullest. Then.”
The man’s eyes turned sharp for a moment at the thoughtless remark. Oh, my, I’m surprised.
“What do you mean?”
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