This b*tch, really.
I couldn't help but curse. Just take your exams, why are you staring at me and making a fuss!
"You... did you turn in a blank sheet of paper?"
I managed to let out the breath I had stopped.
When I averted my gaze, Misha came and sat down next to me. It seemed like she now saw me as her friend.
I spoke soothingly.
"Misha, it's better not to tell anyone about this. Because, no matter how shameless I am, getting a zero is embarrassing..."
"Was it because of Mom? Was it because of Mom? You don't have to say no. I know everything. There's no way Mom would have just left you alone!"
I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to grab my mouth again, the one that had cheered me on so that I could pass.
Misha pulled away as if my expression was enough of an answer.
I was thinking about how to shut this damn mouth, but Misha spoke softly.
“I know how much you wanted to go to the academy. You wanted to go to the dormitory and get out of this house, right?”
“...”
Looking at Misha’s bright eyes, I somehow envied her. She lived in a clean world where the worries I had didn’t exist.
Yes, you slut. If you knew, why didn’t you let me go?
“I’m not responsible for what Mom did. I didn’t ask you to, and I didn’t know. But I’m sorry, so I’ll give you a present.”
Hey, you... I feel sorry too, so I want to grab your hair, Misha.
I kept my mouth shut, trying to swallow something bubbling up inside me, but Misha was walking on clouds right now.
She leaned over to me with a happy face and whispered in my ear.
“Your mom sent me a letter every year.”
“...!”
At that moment, my pupils must have shaken as if they were breaking into small pieces. Mom. Letter. I could hear the sound of the corners of my heart breaking apart.
Misha glanced at the door and whispered very quietly.
“Your mother started sending letters a few years before you came to this house, but my mother burned them all. My father doesn’t know about it.”
My heart was pounding like a bird that had fallen from a tree.
Misha said.
“The people your father hired to find your mom, my mother paid them to lie and say they couldn't find her. You know, my mother's family got all kinds of commercial connections, you know, mercenaries and all that.”
I couldn't help but curse. Just take your exams, why are you staring at me and making a fuss!
"You... did you turn in a blank sheet of paper?"
I managed to let out the breath I had stopped.
When I averted my gaze, Misha came and sat down next to me. It seemed like she now saw me as her friend.
I spoke soothingly.
"Misha, it's better not to tell anyone about this. Because, no matter how shameless I am, getting a zero is embarrassing..."
"Was it because of Mom? Was it because of Mom? You don't have to say no. I know everything. There's no way Mom would have just left you alone!"
I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to grab my mouth again, the one that had cheered me on so that I could pass.
Misha pulled away as if my expression was enough of an answer.
I was thinking about how to shut this damn mouth, but Misha spoke softly.
“I know how much you wanted to go to the academy. You wanted to go to the dormitory and get out of this house, right?”
“...”
Looking at Misha’s bright eyes, I somehow envied her. She lived in a clean world where the worries I had didn’t exist.
Yes, you slut. If you knew, why didn’t you let me go?
“I’m not responsible for what Mom did. I didn’t ask you to, and I didn’t know. But I’m sorry, so I’ll give you a present.”
Hey, you... I feel sorry too, so I want to grab your hair, Misha.
I kept my mouth shut, trying to swallow something bubbling up inside me, but Misha was walking on clouds right now.
She leaned over to me with a happy face and whispered in my ear.
“Your mom sent me a letter every year.”
“...!”
At that moment, my pupils must have shaken as if they were breaking into small pieces. Mom. Letter. I could hear the sound of the corners of my heart breaking apart.
Misha glanced at the door and whispered very quietly.
“Your mother started sending letters a few years before you came to this house, but my mother burned them all. My father doesn’t know about it.”
My heart was pounding like a bird that had fallen from a tree.
Misha said.
“The people your father hired to find your mom, my mother paid them to lie and say they couldn't find her. You know, my mother's family got all kinds of commercial connections, you know, mercenaries and all that.”
“...”
“And yet, you’re surprised how my father found you? The reason I’m telling you this is so that you know that he didn’t pretend to know you on purpose.”
I was confused.
“You’re acting so dapper toward your father, and he seems to be secretly upset about it... Do you know this is a secret?”
Misha stood up and said this before leaving.
“I’m a student at the Imperial Academy now. I won’t be seeing you again... I’m telling you this to commemorate the end of our tedious relationship.”
I slowly fell back onto the sofa and stared at the ceiling, mumbling weakly.
“That lucky bastard is very...”
The reason why the Count came to me late while I was living in Tunbarsan came to mind all at once.
My mother thought she couldn’t continue raising me in that kind of environment. It must have been around the time when I was beaten, bleeding, and becoming a swearer. She must have been afraid that she might leave me behind and die. Tunbarsan was famous for hating people. It often ate people and didn’t return them.
So my mother took a risk and contacted the Count, but there was no reply.
My mother gave up after doing that for several years. She said that if it was his will, she would no longer look for me, and sent him flowers and a ribbon as a sign of severance.
Without even a note, she sent only the only gift she had from the Count.
The bouquet of farewell flowers didn’t have a sender’s name on it, so it passed through the Countess and ended up in the Count’s hands. The Count recognized the gift right away, even though it had been ten years.
But by then, everything was too late.
How sad must my mother have been, being abandoned by the Count every year?
If the Count had received even one letter, would my mother still be alive...??
I cried for the first time in seven years.
Everyone would think that I failed the exam, so I was glad that I didn’t have to make excuses for my sadness.
***
The results of the Imperial Academy entrance exam also arrived at Duke Kydel’s residence. Only there, it wasn’t delivered by a deliveryman, but by an Academy employee.
Locard Kydel frowned as he looked at the results from the sofa.
“So, does that mean I’m at the top or not?”
“The top score is another student. Even if you include the music performance score that he didn’t take.”
“Who is that?”
“Laborie Siha.”
“That’s a strange name.”
The Duke of Kydel, standing nearby, asked.
“There’s no family called ‘Siha’ on the list of nobles. Is he a commoner?”
“I don’t know his identity.”
The employee said to the Duke, looking embarrassed.
“There was an internal discussion about that issue. Even if Laborie Siha shows up, we decided not to recognize his score because he wasn’t on the list of test takers. The top scorer will be Prince Kydel.”
“I see. Thank you.”
After the employee left, Locard waved the results notice with a sour look on his face.
“I thought I would take first place. The questions were easy.”
“Even if you include the subjects you didn’t take, you still lost?”
“I also broke a string while playing the violin. I couldn’t control my strength because I was so busy holding the sword.”
The Duke smiled faintly at his son’s appearance, who seemed to be quite hurt, though he didn’t show it.
“The Academy has sorted out their position so that there will be no trouble. They are also informing you with good intentions in case of an emergency, so don’t worry about it.”
“Yes, Father. But, will the Academy be useful to me? The order is a bit off.”
Children of prestigious families often go through the Academy to decide on their master or faction that will determine their fate.
In other words, leading an army and participating in war, like Locard Kydel did, was an elite path that could only be taken after graduation.
However, Locard had already skipped the process and participated in the war, so it was natural that the Academy seemed like a waste of time.
The Duke shook his head.
“The Academy is looking forward to your admission. It is an honor for them to accept a cadet who has established a specialty at such a young age.”
Locard shrugged as if it were natural.
“There are things that can only be obtained at the Academy. Look carefully and reap the fruits of it. To inherit the name of my father’s first lion.”
“That has already been done.”
“Locard!”
The Duke scolded his son with a stern face. However, Locard smiled broadly and left the room.
However, the Duke did not say anything more. He already knew his son’s choice and supported it.
If only his son, who was full of confidence and hot-blooded, would be more careful with his words.
However, the anecdote of Second Prince Grayson calling Locard “Tagar’s Lion Cub” on the battlefield had already spread widely.
Second Prince Grayeon Tagar. He owed Locard his life in the recent Battle of Amata, which ended in victory for the Empire.
If he were to become the next head of a powerful family, he had to be chosen by the emperor and take responsibility for the family’s survival.
And creating an Emperor who would stake his fate on himself and his family was a more reliable way to survive.
***
Misha insisted that she bring only completely new clothes and shoes when she entered the academy dormitory.
“All the other young ladies do that!”
The words magically moved the Countess to call the merchants into the mansion. The Count’s residence was quite chaotic because of them.
I listened to the noise without thinking much. Reading a romance novel I bought in the city, rolling around, and snacking, the day went by in a flash.
Eating and sleeping made the world comfortable and enjoyable, but on the other hand, my heart became increasingly uncomfortable.
Even though I told myself not to, it kept happening. Damn it.
“Lorisha. Did I bother you?”
“Count!”
The Count, who had suddenly come into my room, pretended not to notice the cookie crumbs on my cheek.
“I’m going on a trip. Let’s go together.”
“...”
I didn’t know what to say.
The Count insisted on calling it a ‘trip,’ but whenever he left his residence, it was almost always a business trip due to an imperial order. So it wasn’t something he could take his illegitimate daughter with, let alone Misha.
Besides, if I spent time alone with the Count right now, my conscience might get crushed and burst.
When I hesitated, the Count made a slightly displeased expression.
“I know that the fact that you are an illegitimate child gives you a strong drive. But when you are with me, you should let it go. You should know how to do that.”
“...”
What could I say? I awkwardly asked where we were going and said I would prepare.
Judging from the fact that he said the destination was a beautiful beach at the southern tip, it seemed that the Count was deceiving me.
In the name of travel, he was comforting me.
I listened to the noise without thinking much. Reading a romance novel I bought in the city, rolling around, and snacking, the day went by in a flash.
Eating and sleeping made the world comfortable and enjoyable, but on the other hand, my heart became increasingly uncomfortable.
Even though I told myself not to, it kept happening. Damn it.
“Lorisha. Did I bother you?”
“Count!”
The Count, who had suddenly come into my room, pretended not to notice the cookie crumbs on my cheek.
“I’m going on a trip. Let’s go together.”
“...”
I didn’t know what to say.
The Count insisted on calling it a ‘trip,’ but whenever he left his residence, it was almost always a business trip due to an imperial order. So it wasn’t something he could take his illegitimate daughter with, let alone Misha.
Besides, if I spent time alone with the Count right now, my conscience might get crushed and burst.
When I hesitated, the Count made a slightly displeased expression.
“I know that the fact that you are an illegitimate child gives you a strong drive. But when you are with me, you should let it go. You should know how to do that.”
“...”
What could I say? I awkwardly asked where we were going and said I would prepare.
Judging from the fact that he said the destination was a beautiful beach at the southern tip, it seemed that the Count was deceiving me.
In the name of travel, he was comforting me.
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment