Else, who had been running up the stairs like an angry bull, fell down helplessly. The thick dish on the plate, which must have been food, spilled on her chest. The plate rolled on the floor. The maid, who screamed in surprise, lifted her handkerchief to examine Else. Else coldly slapped her hand away, got up, and ran down the stairs again.
Ian was still there under the balcony. The hand that had been wiping his eyes was gone, but the pain that had been piercing Else’s chest was still there. Her wheezing breath was faintly mixed with swear words.
Ian was still there under the balcony. The hand that had been wiping his eyes was gone, but the pain that had been piercing Else’s chest was still there. Her wheezing breath was faintly mixed with swear words.
These, these beggars. Filthy things. A bastard, a prostitute, a blind man... Like a dog, like a dog!
Filthy swear words that a noble lady would not be able to utter flooded her mind.
"This person..."
The hand that had begun to wander around the corner of his eyes again was lodged in her retina. Else jumped out and grabbed the hand. She applied force as if she was going to break it.
“You dirty bitch!”
A loud noise struck her ears. Sybil looked down at the woman who was squirming with an emotionless face. The woman who grabbed Liena’s wrist as if she was going to cut it off dug between them. Her small, slender body squeezed through them as if to hide him from Liena.
“Didn’t I tell you not to touch Ian? I told you not to stay with him!”
Else, who was running towards her with her eyes wide open like a madman, tightly grabbed Liena's wrist. Liena had no expression. She swallowed her contempt and looked down at her with a face as white as a wax doll. Else was the only one who was swearing like a madwoman.
“Doesn’t what I’m saying sound like nonsense? You fucking bitch!”
The eyes of Liena, who was looking at Else, who was spewing out vulgar insults that even a street slut wouldn't pick up, were like those of someone watching a mad dog. They weren't eyes that looked at people, and they weren't faces that treated her as their master. It was all right. As long as she didn't touch Ian. As long as Ian would give in to her. And now, there wasn't much left.
It wasn't like she was going to have him forever. Just a little while, just a little while... Just a little while... Just so Else could have the courage and patience to live the rest of her life... It was all hers after that. Ian liked her. They would be exclusive to each other, their one and only.
Else's teeth chattered. The heat engulfed her head. She couldn’t forget the sight of her wiping his eyes. Every time Ian, who had been a familiar part of her body, appeared before her eyes, she felt like her weakened nerves were being finely chopped. Else roughly threw the hand she had been holding onto and slapped me in the face.
"Argh!"
Elje, who had been pushing the taller woman away with all her might, glared at her, breathing heavily. Liena, who had been covering her slapped cheek, spat bloody saliva onto the floor and straightened up.
“Why are you like this?”
“This dirty, filthy...”
“Behave yourself, young lady.”
Liena, who had wiped her chapped lips, coldly reprimanded her. Else’s eyes were distorted. She bit her lips hard to keep the tears from forming in her eyes that were filled with heat, then lifted her leg and grabbed her hair.
Just as she was about to violently shake her grip and swear, the hand that had grabbed her hair was forced into her. Else, who had been thrown out easily, looked at the man who had torn her off, grumbling. Her eyes, filled with tears of indignation, twitched slightly.
“This, this, let go.”
“Many eyes are watching.”
A soft whisper rang in her ear. Else rolled her eyes and stared at the people who were starting to gather one by one. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t the first or second time she had seen this. Else had often grabbed the maids and made people swear at her. It was no longer shameful.
"Miss."
“You’re doing this because you want to take that woman’s side, right? Right?”
She twisted her caught wrist and groaned. Even with the slightest movement, Else was panting. It was natural that she would feel exhausted every time she groaned and rushed at her. Running down the stairs, or chasing Liena... It was all difficult and tiring. However, she couldn’t just sit still. Even on the day she grabbed the maids, Else was the one lying down and groaning, but she didn’t want to just sit still. It was time to stop now but Else wanted to keep groaning and being a bully until the day Ian left her.
If something didn't go her way, she would throw a tantrum and make him tired. It didn't matter if he didn't like her at all. It was better than forgetting her. Else wanted to distort herself into something ugly and gain even a tiny bit of space in his heart.
Did Ian know that she wanted to remain like that? Ian would live a very long life... Even after Else died, he would live a long life... Else wanted to remain in his heart even when he was old enough to hold his grandchildren as a grandfather. She was a dirty and filthy woman. She was not even noble. It was okay to curse and swear at her. She wish Ian would remember her.
So Else thought every day. Ian, with his wife and son, were growing beets and potatoes in their small backyard cottage. On days when the sky was clear and the sun was warm, Ian would be skinning the game he had hunted like any other man in Lugdun, and his wife would be in the kitchen cooking a warm stew. On days like that, Else would be a little tombstone.
“It doesn’t matter, right?”
The strength with which he held her wrist was flawless. The lips that touched her earlobe whispered softly. Else stopped struggling and looked at him. The low, rasping voice was eerie.
“Let go, let go...”
“Please just go in.”
“Hey, let go of this... ugh!”
Else screamed as she gasped and twisted her wrist. Her two feet were lifted into the air. Thick arms wrapped around her waist and thighs. Else stopped struggling and stopped moving at the firm touch of someone holding her. Ian walked away without saying goodbye to the woman behind him. Else crouched down and looked up at his sharp chin. His face was handsome. So much so that she couldn’t even feel her pulse.
"This person..."
The hand that had begun to wander around the corner of his eyes again was lodged in her retina. Else jumped out and grabbed the hand. She applied force as if she was going to break it.
“You dirty bitch!”
A loud noise struck her ears. Sybil looked down at the woman who was squirming with an emotionless face. The woman who grabbed Liena’s wrist as if she was going to cut it off dug between them. Her small, slender body squeezed through them as if to hide him from Liena.
“Didn’t I tell you not to touch Ian? I told you not to stay with him!”
Else, who was running towards her with her eyes wide open like a madman, tightly grabbed Liena's wrist. Liena had no expression. She swallowed her contempt and looked down at her with a face as white as a wax doll. Else was the only one who was swearing like a madwoman.
“Doesn’t what I’m saying sound like nonsense? You fucking bitch!”
The eyes of Liena, who was looking at Else, who was spewing out vulgar insults that even a street slut wouldn't pick up, were like those of someone watching a mad dog. They weren't eyes that looked at people, and they weren't faces that treated her as their master. It was all right. As long as she didn't touch Ian. As long as Ian would give in to her. And now, there wasn't much left.
It wasn't like she was going to have him forever. Just a little while, just a little while... Just a little while... Just so Else could have the courage and patience to live the rest of her life... It was all hers after that. Ian liked her. They would be exclusive to each other, their one and only.
Else's teeth chattered. The heat engulfed her head. She couldn’t forget the sight of her wiping his eyes. Every time Ian, who had been a familiar part of her body, appeared before her eyes, she felt like her weakened nerves were being finely chopped. Else roughly threw the hand she had been holding onto and slapped me in the face.
"Argh!"
Elje, who had been pushing the taller woman away with all her might, glared at her, breathing heavily. Liena, who had been covering her slapped cheek, spat bloody saliva onto the floor and straightened up.
“Why are you like this?”
“This dirty, filthy...”
“Behave yourself, young lady.”
Liena, who had wiped her chapped lips, coldly reprimanded her. Else’s eyes were distorted. She bit her lips hard to keep the tears from forming in her eyes that were filled with heat, then lifted her leg and grabbed her hair.
Just as she was about to violently shake her grip and swear, the hand that had grabbed her hair was forced into her. Else, who had been thrown out easily, looked at the man who had torn her off, grumbling. Her eyes, filled with tears of indignation, twitched slightly.
“This, this, let go.”
“Many eyes are watching.”
A soft whisper rang in her ear. Else rolled her eyes and stared at the people who were starting to gather one by one. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t the first or second time she had seen this. Else had often grabbed the maids and made people swear at her. It was no longer shameful.
"Miss."
“You’re doing this because you want to take that woman’s side, right? Right?”
She twisted her caught wrist and groaned. Even with the slightest movement, Else was panting. It was natural that she would feel exhausted every time she groaned and rushed at her. Running down the stairs, or chasing Liena... It was all difficult and tiring. However, she couldn’t just sit still. Even on the day she grabbed the maids, Else was the one lying down and groaning, but she didn’t want to just sit still. It was time to stop now but Else wanted to keep groaning and being a bully until the day Ian left her.
If something didn't go her way, she would throw a tantrum and make him tired. It didn't matter if he didn't like her at all. It was better than forgetting her. Else wanted to distort herself into something ugly and gain even a tiny bit of space in his heart.
Did Ian know that she wanted to remain like that? Ian would live a very long life... Even after Else died, he would live a long life... Else wanted to remain in his heart even when he was old enough to hold his grandchildren as a grandfather. She was a dirty and filthy woman. She was not even noble. It was okay to curse and swear at her. She wish Ian would remember her.
So Else thought every day. Ian, with his wife and son, were growing beets and potatoes in their small backyard cottage. On days when the sky was clear and the sun was warm, Ian would be skinning the game he had hunted like any other man in Lugdun, and his wife would be in the kitchen cooking a warm stew. On days like that, Else would be a little tombstone.
“It doesn’t matter, right?”
The strength with which he held her wrist was flawless. The lips that touched her earlobe whispered softly. Else stopped struggling and looked at him. The low, rasping voice was eerie.
“Let go, let go...”
“Please just go in.”
“Hey, let go of this... ugh!”
Else screamed as she gasped and twisted her wrist. Her two feet were lifted into the air. Thick arms wrapped around her waist and thighs. Else stopped struggling and stopped moving at the firm touch of someone holding her. Ian walked away without saying goodbye to the woman behind him. Else crouched down and looked up at his sharp chin. His face was handsome. So much so that she couldn’t even feel her pulse.
Nine years old. Even when she was a reckless child who didn’t know anything, her heart raced. Else had nothing she couldn’t get if she screamed until she was out of breath. It’s not much different now, but it was even more so then. It wasn’t because Else was the heir. Her father always paid special attention to Else’s health because if she died, the blood that would carry on this worthless legacy and title would disappear.
Else was not young, although she had once been foolish enough to mistake it for affection. To such an Else, would it have been difficult to grant the wish of her daughter, who had to live until she had a child? Even if it meant asking for an orphaned slave as a maid? It was not difficult.
Else had Ian like that. Even if she had him as her servant, his heart could never truly be hers, but she clung to him every day, begging him to hold her and carry her. It was shameful. She pursed her lips and lowered her gaze.
She remembered him stiffening his face as if he had been insulted. When Else asked him to get on all fours and ride a horse, he willingly bent his knees and rode her on his back. Her lowered eyelashes fluttered. If she could go back in time, he hated her for being so young that he would have stabbed her to death without hesitation.
'Even so, it is something that cannot be undone...'
There was nothing she could turn back now. Else had always abused and persecuted him. She was still tormenting him to remain in that way. The soft bed touched her buttocks. Else raised her gaze and looked at the man.
His eyes landed on the neatly arranged shoes on the table. Her cheeks turned red. Her cheeks felt warm as if he had noticed the wound on her knee that was hidden by her dress. She stared at his gaze, trembling. His emotionless blue-gray eyes could not pick up even the slightest detail. She jumped up, wanting to run over and snatch it right away.
“Is there a reason you keep shoes that don’t fit?”
He picked up the shoes. Her heart ached as if it had been grabbed by his hands which picked them up without any sincerity. Else’s eyebrows fell as his gaze pierced her vertically.
“Come here.”
“Shouldn’t you be the busiest lady of all to welcome your groom?”
“What the hell does it matter!”
Else, trembling and shouting, reached out her hand. Ian threw it to the floor as if he was picking it up. It felt like her heart had been pulled out by its roots. Else glared at him, shivering, and finally burst into tears.
“It is ridiculous that a woman who has to swear chastity and obedience before a bishop in less than two months is holding a pair of shoes that a lowly servant has found.”
Ian laughed at Else, who had finally bent her knees and hugged her shoes to her chest. Else swallowed back tears and glared at him. This woman, who glared at him as if she was going to kill him, was funny. No. He was funny.
His stomach twisted at the thought that the woman who cried so hard that her breath was suffocating in the crook of his waist, the woman who tormented him and hugged his neck every night, would spend the nights making offspring with such a worthless man as her groom.
Isn't she the King's woman? A dog will lie down on the bed where a tiger used to lie down. Her blood boiled at the thought that it would happen in less than two months. Else was a woman who couldn't live without him. She was a woman who suffered from severe affection deficiency and had a weak nerve since birth, and she wouldn't be able to live a single day without him.
She had been suffering from the small gestures of consideration he showed her since she was very young. Sybil had known her for a long time and knew that her fits were resentment and love and hate for the man she could not have.
And yet... She's dying because she can’t have him...
Else was not young, although she had once been foolish enough to mistake it for affection. To such an Else, would it have been difficult to grant the wish of her daughter, who had to live until she had a child? Even if it meant asking for an orphaned slave as a maid? It was not difficult.
Else had Ian like that. Even if she had him as her servant, his heart could never truly be hers, but she clung to him every day, begging him to hold her and carry her. It was shameful. She pursed her lips and lowered her gaze.
She remembered him stiffening his face as if he had been insulted. When Else asked him to get on all fours and ride a horse, he willingly bent his knees and rode her on his back. Her lowered eyelashes fluttered. If she could go back in time, he hated her for being so young that he would have stabbed her to death without hesitation.
'Even so, it is something that cannot be undone...'
There was nothing she could turn back now. Else had always abused and persecuted him. She was still tormenting him to remain in that way. The soft bed touched her buttocks. Else raised her gaze and looked at the man.
His eyes landed on the neatly arranged shoes on the table. Her cheeks turned red. Her cheeks felt warm as if he had noticed the wound on her knee that was hidden by her dress. She stared at his gaze, trembling. His emotionless blue-gray eyes could not pick up even the slightest detail. She jumped up, wanting to run over and snatch it right away.
“Is there a reason you keep shoes that don’t fit?”
He picked up the shoes. Her heart ached as if it had been grabbed by his hands which picked them up without any sincerity. Else’s eyebrows fell as his gaze pierced her vertically.
“Come here.”
“Shouldn’t you be the busiest lady of all to welcome your groom?”
“What the hell does it matter!”
Else, trembling and shouting, reached out her hand. Ian threw it to the floor as if he was picking it up. It felt like her heart had been pulled out by its roots. Else glared at him, shivering, and finally burst into tears.
“It is ridiculous that a woman who has to swear chastity and obedience before a bishop in less than two months is holding a pair of shoes that a lowly servant has found.”
Ian laughed at Else, who had finally bent her knees and hugged her shoes to her chest. Else swallowed back tears and glared at him. This woman, who glared at him as if she was going to kill him, was funny. No. He was funny.
His stomach twisted at the thought that the woman who cried so hard that her breath was suffocating in the crook of his waist, the woman who tormented him and hugged his neck every night, would spend the nights making offspring with such a worthless man as her groom.
Isn't she the King's woman? A dog will lie down on the bed where a tiger used to lie down. Her blood boiled at the thought that it would happen in less than two months. Else was a woman who couldn't live without him. She was a woman who suffered from severe affection deficiency and had a weak nerve since birth, and she wouldn't be able to live a single day without him.
She had been suffering from the small gestures of consideration he showed her since she was very young. Sybil had known her for a long time and knew that her fits were resentment and love and hate for the man she could not have.
And yet... She's dying because she can’t have him...
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