Late awakening (4)
There was almost no sense of life in the neatly organized room.
The only trace of lan is the faint smell of soap.
As Kjer said, Ian must have come home at midnight, slept, and then went out.
'Did you want to avoid me that much?'
I felt annoyed, but at the same time felt sorry.
I thought you must have been very busy already, but you couldn't get a proper rest because of me.
I walked cautiously across the room without even turning on the lights. As soon as I sat down on the sofa, whose cushions were not even disturbed, the sigh I had been holding In escaped.
"What should I do?"
There are now only two days left until the inauguration ceremony.
He must have already heard from Kalit that he would disappear from the Great Rift. How can you convince someone who still doesn't change his mind?
Another sigh escaped from my lips.
"Ha..."
Why am I here? It's not like I can do anything just by meeting him.
I feel like I'm fighting a war that I'm destined to lose.
I smiled bitterly and turned my head to the window. Outside the window, in the thick darkness, all I could hear was the sound of the wind blowing.
When will you come?
Despite my heavy heart, my heart started pounding at the thought of meeting Ian soon.
"..."
Did about two hours pass like that?
As the wait grew longer, the tension disappeared and sleep crept in.
"What time is it?"
It was a little past midnight. Normally, I would have been asleep by then.
“Haam.”
I yawned absentmindedly and then burst into laughter.
How can you be sleepy after sneaking into a guy's bedroom alone? That's ridiculous.
I relaxed my back, which had been straight, and leaned back against the sofa.
The bedroom was so quiet and dark. I tried to come to my senses by patting my cheek, but it only lasted for a moment. I couldn't hold out for long and my eyes slowly closed.
"Why aren't you coming?"
How much sleep do you get when you come home this late?
I shook my head and buried my cheek in the cushion.
The moonlight streaming through the window illuminated the table. I stared at the delicate curves for a moment before closing my eyes.
As my vision darkened, memories I had forgotten began to unfold...
When Ian used to come and go from our house like it was his own, he always came to our house at a certain time.
4pm.
So, 4pm was my favorite time of the day.
Because it was the only time I could breathe, as I was crushed by guilt toward my mother all day long.
At first, I think it was comfortable for him to just carry me silently without asking any questions.
I felt comforted when I was on his back.
At some point, my feelings started to change little by little.
I felt like it was a waste of time to sleep on his back. I wanted to talk to him while looking into his pretty golden eyes and gentle smile.
It's really strange. There wasn't any reason for it. I just wanted to see him.
Then one day, I don't remember exactly when, Ian, who used to come home at 4 o'clock every day, was unusually late.
I was so disappointed to see Chevio return home alone that I lay helplessly in bed.
Even though my family was worried, I didn't have the strength to smile.
The headache that had been clouded by the anticipation of meeting Ian gradually got worse starting at 4 o'clock.
I haven't seen Ian today. Am I getting tired of him now?
When I thought about that, tears welled up in my eyes. I was so sad and sorrowful that I covered myself with the blanket and cried, and then I fell asleep for a moment because l was exhausted...
"Butterfly, butterfly, fly to my dream. Carrying beautiful dreams on your wings, fly high and come."
Someone was stroking my head and singing a lullaby, the same lullaby my mother used to sing to me.
Before I could even come to my senses, I knew it was Ian's voice.
The pitch, rhythm, and everything else was a mess, it was still so welcome that it made my nose tingle.
But I didn't open my eyes. I thought that if I kept pretending to be asleep, he might sing me a lullaby...
But strangely enough, he knew I was up.
"When will you open your eyes?"
A laughing voice tickled my ears.
As I slowly opened my eyes, the pretty golden eyes that had been looking at me were curved into crescent moons.
"I'm sorry I'm late because I was training with His Highness the First Prince."
"..."
"Come here. I'll carry you."
lan pulled me by the hand as usual. I leaned my face against his back.
How long will you be coming? You won't mind me bothering you like this, right?
I couldn't bring myself to ask. I felt like I would cry like an idiot the moment I opened my mouth.
At that time, he said.
"From now on, if I'm going to be late, I'll tell Chevio in advance."
"..."
"No matter how late it is, I will definitely come."
He did this every time.
Even without me saying anything, he noticed it as if he had seen it in my mind.
Feeling better right away, I hugged him tightly around the neck and begged him to sing me a lullaby.
"Can you sing me another lullaby?"
"I can't do it because I'm embarrassed. I need to practice more.
"Promise?"
"Yes. I promise."
But the promise of that day was not kept.
The promise to sing a lullaby, the promise to come no matter how late it was.
Because I forgot him.
I felt a presence somewhere.
The sound of footsteps is so small that you have to strain your ears to hear them.
'It's Ian.'
My mind, which had been in a hazy state, suddenly became clear.
Wait a minute, I'm an uninvited guest in an unattended bedroom.
Instead of just sleeping comfortably, I should have been hiding. Why am I such an idiot?
Regret washed over me, but it was already too late. Before I could even get up from where I was leaning against the cushion, the bedroom door opened...
I was so embarrassed that I couldn't do anything and just kept my eyes shut.
It's already ruined. Let's just pretend to be asleep.
The sound of something heavy being placed on the table was heard along with a clanging sound.
'You've released your sword."
There was a rustling sound as if someone was trying to take off his suit jacket. Then the sound of footsteps continued for a while and then suddenly stopped.
Looks like he finally found me.
My heart was pounding like it was going to burst. Should I open my eyes now?
The footsteps continued again and stopped right in front of me.
The scent of soap filled my nasal passages, and a large hand carefully stroked my hair.
"Aren't you going to open your eyes?"
"..."
I slowly opened my eyes, and his golden pupils curved like crescent moons.
The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that he didn't need any excuses.
Why did I pretend not to see it, why was I still a guardian even though I escaped fate?
He didn't wonder about anything.
Suddenly, my eyes became hot.
'Thank you.'
But contrary to my thoughts, the words that came out of my mouth were complaints.
"You said you would sing a lullaby if I practiced it..."
His eyes opened wide at the unexpected words.
And after a long silence, he opened his mouth.
"Butterfly, butterfly, fly to my dream. Carrying beautiful dreams on your wings, fly high and come."
Suddenly, that thought occurred to me.
I guess I have no choice but to let him go. No matter how much I hate it, I have to accept it.
My role is to just silently support his decision, like Ian, who supports me silently without raising any questions.
I checked the time without realizing it.
It's past midnight, so there's only one day left until the inauguration ceremony.
Today might be the last day I see Ian. My body began to tremble with fear.
But I forced myself to smile. I didn't want to spend the remaining time crying.
"What the... You sing so well."
"I practiced a lot."
Tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.
I was desperately trying to wipe my tears away with the back of my hand, but he wiped my cheek first.
A large, callused hand. My eyes closed tightly at the rough yet warm touch of his hand.
I held his hand tightly.
"Please promise me just one thing."
"..."
"No matter how late it is, you will definitely come back to me."
Ian kissed the back of my hand politely.
"As you wish."
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