Late awakening (3)
The three of us were silent for a while because of the bomb my father dropped.
The first to break the silence was my older brother, Kjer.
"Are you saying... that you will join the war now?"
"How can I sleep comfortably after sending my children to the Knights? It is right for a father to join the war as well."
Chevio blinked and smiled awkwardly.
"Well, I understand how you feel, Father. But you have to consider your age. The Allied Forces probably won't accept you."
"I heard that the Grand Duchy of Romena's Prime Minister Hallstail is also taking part in the war. As far as I know, he is seven years older than me."
"Oh, I don't know how old that gentleman is, but anyway. I'm against it! It's dangerous!"
"What are you worried about when we have the 'first walker'? Surely you don't distrust Millennia?"
"That, that is..."
Instead of the speechless Chevio, Kjer continued to speak.
"Father, there is no victory without sacrifice. Don't you think that sacrifice could be you, father?"
Father chuckled at Kjer's cold words.
"Isn't that an honorable death for a knight? If your father dies, you will lead the family."
"Father!"
Kjer was the first to raise his voice, but his father's expression remained indifferent.
"Now, even boys who have just started to grow beards are volunteering for the Allied Forces for the sake of the world. How can a father who has even fought in the war pretend not to know? A nobleman should act like a nobleman."
"The duty of a nobleman is not limited to participating in war."
"Then let's say it's a knight's duty."
My father changed the subject matter and shrugged his shoulders. His smiling face really looked like a knight looking forward to going to war.
When Kjer kept his mouth shut at the sight of his father like that, Chevio exploded with anger.
"If our father is like this, what about us? How can we, as children, be at peace if we send our father to the battlefield?"
"You are not a three-year-old chiId. You are a grown man. You should learn to endure it. That is your duty."
Chevio threw down the dishes as if throwing them down and stood up abruptly.
"Okay! I will fulfill my duty as a knight in place of my father! I will go to war!"
Father frowned.
"A guy called the Commander of the Imperial Knights. You have to protect His Majesty, so what kind of nonsense are you talking about!"
"Father, you're being ridiculously stubborn these days! If I can't do it, then neither can you!"
"This guy!"
"Father, please calm down. Brother, calm down a bit too."
Chevio glanced at me and slumped down on his chair. He seemed to be still upset and gulped down water.
"Father. I..."
Before I could even get to the main point, my father grabbed my hand.
"I hope you don't stop it. It's your father's dream."
I was a little embarrassed.
I thought that in my past life, my father wanted to go to war, but he endured it for me.
Did he have to give up his dream because he was so obsessed with his daughter who ran away from home because she was crazy about men?
"But... You already participated in the Great Rift 30 years ago."
"I have regretted it for 30 years. I should not have given that order back then I should have retreated instead of advancing. Many subordinates were sacrificed becau lse of my immature superiors."
"..."
"To me, this participation in the war is an opportunity to make up for the mistakes I made in the last Great Rift. How could I miss it?"
Isn't this my only chance? A chance to make up for the mistakes I made in my past life.
My father and I were the same. I understood his feelings so well that I could not say no.
How could I oppose my father, who thought he had finally gotten the opportunity he had longed for?
No matter what I said, no one would listen anyway. That's the same for me.
My father affectionately patted my hand as I was unable to answer.
"Father have no regrets now. All three of you have grown up to be wonderful and more than worthy of your father. I hope you will support me as I have supported you so far."
The three of us couldn't object in the end.
***
My father's participation in the war was established as a fait accompli.
All that remained was the Emperor's approval, who readily welcomed my father's participation in the war.
Chevio, who had believed that the Emperor would object, jumped up as if he had been hit in the back of the head.
Then he asked the Emperor for permission to follow his father and go to war, but was kicked out without even getting his principal back?
He was depressed for a while after getting a lot of ridicule from Kjer, saying that he knew it.
So the inauguration ceremony approached day by day.
During that time, I was never able to meet Ian even once.
It's already been a week.
I asked Kjer about Ian's whereabouts every day after work, and today, too, I caught up with Kjer without fail.
"Brother, where is Ian?"
Kjer looked at me blankly.
"Youngest, Brother just got off work. Aren't you happy to see me?"
"Nice to meet you. You've worked hard. So, how about Ian? Is he sleeping in the palace today?"
Kjer narrowed his eyes faintly.
"Why does our youngest keep looking for other men? It makes me jealous."
"No, it's weird. My brother always comes home on time, but Ian is at the palace..."
"Well, I guess there's just too much work."
Kjer has a lot of work to do, but he sleeps at home.
At this point, I couldn't help but notice. Ian was avoiding me.
'This guy is really... This is how he's going to come out.'
The departure ceremony is in two days. How long do you plan on avoiding me? Do you plan on not seeing me until you leave?
In fact, I had almost given up on trying to convince Ian. But then I would feel resentful.
The fact that he avoids me also means that he will be shaken when he sees me.
"Brother, can I go to the palace tomorrow too?"
"Because of Ian?"
"That's... I have something I have to tell him."
Kjer was silent for a moment, then opened his mouth.
"There was a time when you were little when you only looked for lan. You said that if Ian carried you, you would sleep well."
“Ah.”
"You said I couldn't carry you. You insisted that it had to be him."
Kjer thinks I still don't remember. I laughed awkwardly.
"Why, why did I do that?"
"Then, when Ian stopped coming for about a month? You didn't recognize him."
It wasn't that I forgot Ian because I hadn't seen him in a long time. I just lost all my memories after taking Rahon's medicine.
"Ian must have asked Chevio a few times since then. What happened to you?"
It was only natural that he would be puzzled when the child he had been waiting for suddenly did not recognize him. I nodded.
"So?"
"I told Chevio to do it. Children tend to forget unimportant people."
So Ian must have thought that he wasn't important to me all this time.
"Why?"
"I'm jealous."
"What is that. It's childish."
"That little brat that I love so much only follows that guy. How can I not be jealous?"
If Kjer hadn't interfered, would Ian and I's relationship have continued instead of ending there?
'That can't be true.'
Anyway, I forgot about Ian after receiving healing from Rahon.
"Youngest, are you upset?"
"No. It's my fault for not remembering."
Kjer chuckled and flicked the tip of my nose.
"Look at me and smile. Then I'll tell you something good."
"What's good?"
"You have to laugh first."
I smiled with the corners of my mouth wide open as if to show it off. Then Kjer smiled softly and kissed me on the cheek.
"That guy kept coming home."
"Uh?"
For a moment, I didn't understand what Kjer was saying. I asked again.
"Ian came home? I've never seen him before?"
"Because he didn't get back until after midnight."
"I see."
It was disappointing and absurd. How much did you want to avoid me to do something like that?
"Can I just say this? What are you going to do if I go see Ian after midnight?"
"I'm allowing it because it's Ian. Nadia will be with you anyway."
Kjer answered nonchalantly and grabbed my hand.
"Have dinner with me. I'll keep it a secret from the second one."
"Shouldn't you keep this a secret from my father?"
"Your father will understand whatever you do, but not his second son. He'll come running with a sword as soon as he hears that you met another man at midnight. Even if it's Ian."
That evening, I had dinner with Kjer.
And then I sneaked into Ian's bedroom without anyone knowing.
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