“People say that I am the most handsome man in this empire. Do you think so too?”
“Yes.”
She did not hesitate to answer. Instead, Carson was silent for a moment and stayed in Ines’ eyes.
“Do you still have my portrait?”
“Of course.”
“Side by side with the goddess Haclesia?”
When Ines nodded, he came in front of her and stood. Her cheek was grabbed by his large hand, but it was immediately pulled up. He placed his hand on her cheek and brought Ines’ right hand to his left chest.
Carson’s heart beat against Ines’ palm without a lie. Ines looked up at him with a hot feeling as if she had been touched by fire.
“I am not a God, Ines.”
Despite the clear fact that he was not a God, she was so shocked that she opened her mouth like an idiot and became dazed.
“I am not your God.”
“...”
“It is no use making such a trap-like face.”
When Carson smiled, Ines felt a strange heat.
“So now accept it. I’m not perfect.”
The beautiful man who spoke, not God, was looking only at her. Feeling like her stomach was boiling, Ines shook her head to collect her thoughts.
“What are you angry about?”
Ines nodded, swallowing the dry saliva that she couldn’t swallow. When he tilted his head, the air around him seemed to thin out, and her chest swelled up on its own.
“I’m just a guy who gets angry when you laugh at other men and gets angry when you approach me to rub my shoulders.”
“No.”
Ines shook her head with a blank expression, but he nodded.
“No, that’s right.”
“...”
“Are you okay now? Even though I’m touching you and my heart is in your palm?”
As he said, Ines felt like she was trapped from which she couldn’t escape.
Since meeting Carson, he had never been anything other than a God to Ines. But Ines felt raw emotions toward him.
Even so, her gaze kept going on him, her heart raced and pounded every time he touched her, and her desire to be the only one for him had to be hers. Was that why God was angry?
“Not me. I... My blood boils just by being near you. My fingertips tingle dozens of times a day because I want to touch you. The desire to hold you in my arms and make you mine runs wild inside me all day long.”
Otherwise, there would be no reason for him, who was so sublime, to express his feelings to her so desperately.
Nevertheless, Ines could not take her eyes off him even for a single inch. Ines suppressed her sense of emptiness and unconsciously raised her hand that was not being held by him. However, she could not bring herself to touch his cheek. When she felt the cool air of different densities on the back of her hand, an instinctive fear suddenly came over her.
What would happen next if she touched his cheek?
“Who was the man you met in the garden?”
But Carson didn’t leave her alone.
“Who...?”
“The man you met and smiled brightly.”
Ines’ eyes shook, unable to make up her mind. Carson’s brow furrowed as he watched her.
“Who are you to make that face?”
But she couldn’t even remember who that man was at this moment. He was the only one who clearly took up all of her vision,
“No other man.”
“No...?”
Following his last words, Ines reached out her hand. And she placed it on his cheek without hesitation. Carson’s golden eyes rippled like reflections in a lake.
The cheek of the man she had touched for the first time was much softer than Ines had thought. It was a new experience that such a strong person could have such a soft side. The touch that tickled her palm was so soft that she felt as if her whole body had fallen into a soap bubble.
At that moment, he grabbed the hand that was touching her cheek and pulled it. As Ines’ body fell off the chair, a large hand grabbed her waist and held her still. As the hot heat hit her whole body, the thought crossed her mind that maybe he really wasn’t a God but a human being.
Ines, who had regained consciousness, tried to take her hand off his cheek, but Carson was quick. He entangled his fingers with Ines’s hand and tilted his face a little closer as if burying himself in it.
“No, absolutely not. I should be the only one in this world who can touch you like this.”
A distance where you couldn’t even tell whose breath was being exhaled.
A distance where you would be pushed away at any moment if you didn’t apply enough force.
That thin, shallow distance that had always existed between you and me.
At that moment, the sound of something falling was heard not far away, and the vacuum around them shattered.
Ines and Carson simultaneously turned their gazes to the source of the sound.
“I, I clearly knocked on the door and asked to come in.”
Carson looked at Noah with a displeased expression, but he didn’t take his hand off Ines’ waist.
“I didn’t answer, so where did you come in?”
“I’m sorry.”
Noah had always gone in and out of the office without answering, but now he quickly bowed his head and stepped back. At the same time, he tried to close the door in a hurry, but the door wouldn’t close properly because of the documents that had fallen on the floor. He panicked and hurriedly picked up the documents and closed the door.
However, the hot temperature between them had already cooled down with a sound.
Ines stretched out her body like a butterfly that had frozen and then thawed, trying to get away from him.
“I, I’m going to go now, it’s almost time for the chief chamberlain to come.”
Carson stepped away from Ines neatly and nodded.
It would have been nice if she had seduced him, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with that method. He had to endure another few months, and it was annoying that it would take a year for that to happen, but he couldn’t wait because she was right in front of him. However, it was right to warn her.
“Ines, don’t test my patience.”
“Yes?”
Ines stopped walking and asked, but there was no answer. She was afraid to ask again, so she hurriedly left the office.
However, she stopped after taking a few steps. It was fortunate that her legs gave out and her heart was beating uncontrollably, so she didn’t collapse.
She lifted the hand that Carson had been holding and pressed it firmly against her heart which was beating mercilessly. His hot warmth still remained.
That night, Ines sprang out of bed, breathing heavily. She knew she had to endure it. She especially should not seek out Carson on a day like today.
Just a few hours ago, Ines had faced the unexpected truth in the chamberlain’s room.
‘No more, no more.’
But her desperation never seemed to end.
In the depths of the night, when even evil spirits must have fallen asleep, Ines stepped out into the quiet imperial palace hallway in her white muslin nightgown.
She gasped for breath, leaning against the wall of the hallway as she slowly took each step. The excruciating difficulty in breathing and the pain that was squeezing her body showed no signs of stopping. Ines consoled herself that she was okay, but no matter how hard she tried, today was worse than other days.
Ines pulled herself out of the empty space between the walls and slowly walked toward the Emperor’s room. Carson had allowed Ines to come and go from his room at any time. As Ines approached, the knight guarding the door knocked on the Emperor’s door. It was very late in the morning, but the answer came right away.
“Let her in.”
As soon as he said that, Ines rushed into the room. Then Carson ran to her in one stride. The man’s figure, completely armed with pure white light, seemed to her like a gate to heaven.
His long hand would soon grab Ines’ arm. His wide arms would soon embrace her shoulders. His beautiful lips would soon tell her that it was okay.
Just that expectation made Ines’s breathing gradually calm down.
“It’s okay, Ines.”
As he stood facing her and pinched her nose with his familiar fingers, Ines met her eyes and exhaled quickly through her mouth. Her pupils dilated, but her body, which had been shaking convulsively, gradually became stable.
When even the slight tremors subsided, Carson took her to his bed. He collapsed and held her in his arms, patting her on the back.
How much time had passed? She took a deep breath as if she was taking her last breath and slowly pulled away from him.
There was no exchange of polite words such as apologizing for visiting so late and asking if she was okay. Carson carefully examined Ines’ eyes and, as if he had decided that she was okay, walked over to the table where the water jug was.
The sound of pouring water filled the quiet room.
Ines looked at his broad back and thought about what had happened in the chamberlain’s room.
The chamberlain handed Ines a few documents. He looked unusual, but Ines, who had experienced something terrible in Carson’s office just a few minutes ago, did not notice it easily.
“These are the names of the young ladies who will be candidates for the Empress. I have to make arrangements for this and that, so I will be busy from now on.”
“Yes.”
She did not hesitate to answer. Instead, Carson was silent for a moment and stayed in Ines’ eyes.
“Do you still have my portrait?”
“Of course.”
“Side by side with the goddess Haclesia?”
When Ines nodded, he came in front of her and stood. Her cheek was grabbed by his large hand, but it was immediately pulled up. He placed his hand on her cheek and brought Ines’ right hand to his left chest.
Carson’s heart beat against Ines’ palm without a lie. Ines looked up at him with a hot feeling as if she had been touched by fire.
“I am not a God, Ines.”
Despite the clear fact that he was not a God, she was so shocked that she opened her mouth like an idiot and became dazed.
“I am not your God.”
“...”
“It is no use making such a trap-like face.”
When Carson smiled, Ines felt a strange heat.
“So now accept it. I’m not perfect.”
The beautiful man who spoke, not God, was looking only at her. Feeling like her stomach was boiling, Ines shook her head to collect her thoughts.
“What are you angry about?”
Ines nodded, swallowing the dry saliva that she couldn’t swallow. When he tilted his head, the air around him seemed to thin out, and her chest swelled up on its own.
“I’m just a guy who gets angry when you laugh at other men and gets angry when you approach me to rub my shoulders.”
“No.”
Ines shook her head with a blank expression, but he nodded.
“No, that’s right.”
“...”
“Are you okay now? Even though I’m touching you and my heart is in your palm?”
As he said, Ines felt like she was trapped from which she couldn’t escape.
Since meeting Carson, he had never been anything other than a God to Ines. But Ines felt raw emotions toward him.
Even so, her gaze kept going on him, her heart raced and pounded every time he touched her, and her desire to be the only one for him had to be hers. Was that why God was angry?
“Not me. I... My blood boils just by being near you. My fingertips tingle dozens of times a day because I want to touch you. The desire to hold you in my arms and make you mine runs wild inside me all day long.”
Otherwise, there would be no reason for him, who was so sublime, to express his feelings to her so desperately.
Nevertheless, Ines could not take her eyes off him even for a single inch. Ines suppressed her sense of emptiness and unconsciously raised her hand that was not being held by him. However, she could not bring herself to touch his cheek. When she felt the cool air of different densities on the back of her hand, an instinctive fear suddenly came over her.
What would happen next if she touched his cheek?
“Who was the man you met in the garden?”
But Carson didn’t leave her alone.
“Who...?”
“The man you met and smiled brightly.”
Ines’ eyes shook, unable to make up her mind. Carson’s brow furrowed as he watched her.
“Who are you to make that face?”
But she couldn’t even remember who that man was at this moment. He was the only one who clearly took up all of her vision,
as if his entire world had been turned upside down.
What he was saying was so clear that no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she couldn’t. At that moment, an excessively great greed surged through her from head to toe, causing her to completely fall.
“Well, whoever it is.”
“...”
What he was saying was so clear that no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she couldn’t. At that moment, an excessively great greed surged through her from head to toe, causing her to completely fall.
“Well, whoever it is.”
“...”
“No other man.”
“No...?”
Following his last words, Ines reached out her hand. And she placed it on his cheek without hesitation. Carson’s golden eyes rippled like reflections in a lake.
The cheek of the man she had touched for the first time was much softer than Ines had thought. It was a new experience that such a strong person could have such a soft side. The touch that tickled her palm was so soft that she felt as if her whole body had fallen into a soap bubble.
At that moment, he grabbed the hand that was touching her cheek and pulled it. As Ines’ body fell off the chair, a large hand grabbed her waist and held her still. As the hot heat hit her whole body, the thought crossed her mind that maybe he really wasn’t a God but a human being.
Ines, who had regained consciousness, tried to take her hand off his cheek, but Carson was quick. He entangled his fingers with Ines’s hand and tilted his face a little closer as if burying himself in it.
“No, absolutely not. I should be the only one in this world who can touch you like this.”
A distance where you couldn’t even tell whose breath was being exhaled.
A distance where you would be pushed away at any moment if you didn’t apply enough force.
That thin, shallow distance that had always existed between you and me.
At that moment, the sound of something falling was heard not far away, and the vacuum around them shattered.
Ines and Carson simultaneously turned their gazes to the source of the sound.
“I, I clearly knocked on the door and asked to come in.”
Carson looked at Noah with a displeased expression, but he didn’t take his hand off Ines’ waist.
“I didn’t answer, so where did you come in?”
“I’m sorry.”
Noah had always gone in and out of the office without answering, but now he quickly bowed his head and stepped back. At the same time, he tried to close the door in a hurry, but the door wouldn’t close properly because of the documents that had fallen on the floor. He panicked and hurriedly picked up the documents and closed the door.
However, the hot temperature between them had already cooled down with a sound.
Ines stretched out her body like a butterfly that had frozen and then thawed, trying to get away from him.
“I, I’m going to go now, it’s almost time for the chief chamberlain to come.”
Carson stepped away from Ines neatly and nodded.
It would have been nice if she had seduced him, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with that method. He had to endure another few months, and it was annoying that it would take a year for that to happen, but he couldn’t wait because she was right in front of him. However, it was right to warn her.
“Ines, don’t test my patience.”
“Yes?”
Ines stopped walking and asked, but there was no answer. She was afraid to ask again, so she hurriedly left the office.
However, she stopped after taking a few steps. It was fortunate that her legs gave out and her heart was beating uncontrollably, so she didn’t collapse.
She lifted the hand that Carson had been holding and pressed it firmly against her heart which was beating mercilessly. His hot warmth still remained.
Ines really floundered as if she was caught in a trap, as his gaze clashed with her, saying,
“I can’t be agitated anymore.”
She steeled herself, but the thought of “no way, no way” kept leading Ines to higher ground.
“I can’t be greedy.”
But even vowing out loud was useless.
The beliefs she had kept, the pain she had endured for a long time. What good was all that?
Ines gritted her teeth and thought back to her time at Romfield. She had no memory of suppressing her emotions that were running wild without even knowing the subject.
It was ridiculous to look at the bottom of her own misery.
However, her efforts were quickly in vain, just from Carson’s grinning smile and the afterimage.
“I can’t be agitated anymore.”
She steeled herself, but the thought of “no way, no way” kept leading Ines to higher ground.
“I can’t be greedy.”
But even vowing out loud was useless.
The beliefs she had kept, the pain she had endured for a long time. What good was all that?
Ines gritted her teeth and thought back to her time at Romfield. She had no memory of suppressing her emotions that were running wild without even knowing the subject.
It was ridiculous to look at the bottom of her own misery.
However, her efforts were quickly in vain, just from Carson’s grinning smile and the afterimage.
***
That night, Ines sprang out of bed, breathing heavily. She knew she had to endure it. She especially should not seek out Carson on a day like today.
Just a few hours ago, Ines had faced the unexpected truth in the chamberlain’s room.
‘No more, no more.’
But her desperation never seemed to end.
In the depths of the night, when even evil spirits must have fallen asleep, Ines stepped out into the quiet imperial palace hallway in her white muslin nightgown.
She gasped for breath, leaning against the wall of the hallway as she slowly took each step. The excruciating difficulty in breathing and the pain that was squeezing her body showed no signs of stopping. Ines consoled herself that she was okay, but no matter how hard she tried, today was worse than other days.
Ines pulled herself out of the empty space between the walls and slowly walked toward the Emperor’s room. Carson had allowed Ines to come and go from his room at any time. As Ines approached, the knight guarding the door knocked on the Emperor’s door. It was very late in the morning, but the answer came right away.
“Let her in.”
As soon as he said that, Ines rushed into the room. Then Carson ran to her in one stride. The man’s figure, completely armed with pure white light, seemed to her like a gate to heaven.
His long hand would soon grab Ines’ arm. His wide arms would soon embrace her shoulders. His beautiful lips would soon tell her that it was okay.
Just that expectation made Ines’s breathing gradually calm down.
“It’s okay, Ines.”
As he stood facing her and pinched her nose with his familiar fingers, Ines met her eyes and exhaled quickly through her mouth. Her pupils dilated, but her body, which had been shaking convulsively, gradually became stable.
When even the slight tremors subsided, Carson took her to his bed. He collapsed and held her in his arms, patting her on the back.
How much time had passed? She took a deep breath as if she was taking her last breath and slowly pulled away from him.
There was no exchange of polite words such as apologizing for visiting so late and asking if she was okay. Carson carefully examined Ines’ eyes and, as if he had decided that she was okay, walked over to the table where the water jug was.
The sound of pouring water filled the quiet room.
Ines looked at his broad back and thought about what had happened in the chamberlain’s room.
The chamberlain handed Ines a few documents. He looked unusual, but Ines, who had experienced something terrible in Carson’s office just a few minutes ago, did not notice it easily.
“These are the names of the young ladies who will be candidates for the Empress. I have to make arrangements for this and that, so I will be busy from now on.”
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