He thought he knew why the late Emperor liked this balcony so much.
Sitting on the highest spot, even the most trivial words felt like humiliation. Even a passing remark would come back as a knife to his throat.
So his father must have been like that every day. There must have been a single day that he didn't experience humiliation. To protect what he had to protect as an Emperor, he put himself in a lonely position.
"Yes, it's a terrible thing, just as you said."
But Carson didn't like it.
Even if his decision put the Swenden family in danger, and even if it meant Ines Swenden would suffer because of it.
Although his father's decision made him safe for a while, Carson, who had resented him all along, hated his father for not being able to properly grieve over the fact that his mother had been poisoned.
So Ines would be the same.
Rather than Carson giving up on her to not put her life in danger, he would want to hang on the gallows and go to death together. Ines would definitely do that. He was sure of it.
“But I don’t like it.”
“Your Majesty!”
“You give up too. There’s no good in seeing each other’s blood.”
Carson took a couple of gulps of the half-empty glass. But he couldn’t stand the lukewarm taste any longer and spat it out on the floor.
“Duke Manisut, the world is already changing. Even if you grab me and shake me, you won’t be able to stop the changing tide.”
Carson got up from his seat. Then he patted the Duke's shoulder a couple of times as if encouraging his subject.
“What happened to my father’s weaknesses that you protected so well?”
“...”
“Take what you think of as my weaknesses and shake them as much as you want. My people aren’t that weak.”
The Duke’s tightly shut mouth didn’t open even as the Emperor smiled faintly.
“Oh, and I’m sorry, but your daughter isn’t my taste, you know.”
It would be a lie if he didn’t feel fear as he turned his back on Duke Manisut and walked away. But Carson's steps outside the door were filled with strength.
Ines was just one more hallway away. He thought that was enough for now.
Carson returned to his office, but Ines was nowhere to be seen. It was not yet time to return to his room.
"Where on earth did she go?"
“Why?”
At that moment, a long shadow fell over Ines’ desk. He stretched out his body and leaned toward her. When she turned reflexively, their eyes met. Then his face came closer.
“What do you think of when you see me?”
“Yes?”
Sitting on the highest spot, even the most trivial words felt like humiliation. Even a passing remark would come back as a knife to his throat.
So his father must have been like that every day. There must have been a single day that he didn't experience humiliation. To protect what he had to protect as an Emperor, he put himself in a lonely position.
"Yes, it's a terrible thing, just as you said."
But Carson didn't like it.
Even if his decision put the Swenden family in danger, and even if it meant Ines Swenden would suffer because of it.
Although his father's decision made him safe for a while, Carson, who had resented him all along, hated his father for not being able to properly grieve over the fact that his mother had been poisoned.
So Ines would be the same.
Rather than Carson giving up on her to not put her life in danger, he would want to hang on the gallows and go to death together. Ines would definitely do that. He was sure of it.
“But I don’t like it.”
“Your Majesty!”
“You give up too. There’s no good in seeing each other’s blood.”
Carson took a couple of gulps of the half-empty glass. But he couldn’t stand the lukewarm taste any longer and spat it out on the floor.
“Duke Manisut, the world is already changing. Even if you grab me and shake me, you won’t be able to stop the changing tide.”
Carson got up from his seat. Then he patted the Duke's shoulder a couple of times as if encouraging his subject.
“What happened to my father’s weaknesses that you protected so well?”
“...”
“Take what you think of as my weaknesses and shake them as much as you want. My people aren’t that weak.”
The Duke’s tightly shut mouth didn’t open even as the Emperor smiled faintly.
“Oh, and I’m sorry, but your daughter isn’t my taste, you know.”
It would be a lie if he didn’t feel fear as he turned his back on Duke Manisut and walked away. But Carson's steps outside the door were filled with strength.
Ines was just one more hallway away. He thought that was enough for now.
***
Carson returned to his office, but Ines was nowhere to be seen. It was not yet time to return to his room.
"Where on earth did she go?"
He thought about calling someone to ask about her whereabouts but decided not to.
Suddenly, Carson felt suffocated, so he opened the window wide. The cold wind cooled his face and the heat of his hot chest. He looked far away and saw Ines walking hurriedly across the garden.
It was dark after the sun had set, but lights were on all over the garden.
Carson pulled his chair over and placed it in front of the window to watch Ines walking toward him. Just her presence, Carson thought that where Ines was, it felt like home.
Does that woman know?
That he had left her in a very dangerous position.
Even if she knew that Ines wouldn't show much agitation. She always gave unexpected answers and expressed emotions.
Wherever the woman walked, flowers swayed and swayed.
As if she was being carried by the wind, a refreshing scent brushed the tip of his nose with each gentle step.
Every action that seemed to move a little slower than others left an afterimage that did not quickly disappear.
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking that the smell of her laundry, which had always dried well in the sun, was carried by the wind, even though it could not have been.
Then, when he opened his eyes again, they suddenly narrowed.
“What is that?”
A man who was hard to see because he was wearing dark clothes approached her. No, maybe they had been walking together from the beginning.
The two stood facing each other and talked affectionately. He felt a strange sense of deja vu.
They kept a suitable distance, but it was not to the point where he could not feel their good feelings toward each other. This was also a scene he had seen somewhere.
Carson took a deep breath and exhaled again.
Even though he thought he was seriously ill, it was hard to ignore the emotions that suddenly came to him. He attributed it all to the time that prevented him from deciding anything, but he hated what he hated.
But he shook his head and forced a smile on his face.
At that moment, Ines smiled brightly at the man. The man was standing with his back to the palace. But he could clearly picture what kind of expression he was making. Carson gritted his teeth and returned to his desk.
He took a deep breath and exhaled it quickly and sharply, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of him.
As always, it was important to secure a good position before Manisuit moved.
When he was nervously turning twenty pages of documents, Ines returned.
“Huh?”
Ines smiled brightly, glad to see Carson back in his office. Even though they met every time, her heartbeat was pleasantly whenever she saw him.
“The meeting ended earlier than expected?”
Carson looked at Ines for a moment at her question and then turned his gaze back to the documents.
In that brief moment, she could sense that he was not in a good mood. Perhaps the meeting had actually been troubling his nerves.
Ines quietly returned to her seat. However, she couldn’t see the chair she was supposed to see. After looking around, he stood up himself, walked to the window, and brought the chair to her.
“Thank you.”
“Where have you been?”
Ines sat down in the chair hesitantly. However, she couldn’t think of putting down the documents she was holding in her chest due to his piercing gaze and just looked at him.
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, I’m on my way back from the guard station because they said they had to check on the embezzlement incident involving the secretary’s maid last time.”
“Who did you check on and what?”
Ines felt like she was being interrogated by the guard station for no reason.
“It was... nothing. I just checked a few facts and signed some documents, but Your Majesty?”
Suddenly, Carson felt suffocated, so he opened the window wide. The cold wind cooled his face and the heat of his hot chest. He looked far away and saw Ines walking hurriedly across the garden.
It was dark after the sun had set, but lights were on all over the garden.
Carson pulled his chair over and placed it in front of the window to watch Ines walking toward him. Just her presence, Carson thought that where Ines was, it felt like home.
Does that woman know?
That he had left her in a very dangerous position.
Even if she knew that Ines wouldn't show much agitation. She always gave unexpected answers and expressed emotions.
Wherever the woman walked, flowers swayed and swayed.
As if she was being carried by the wind, a refreshing scent brushed the tip of his nose with each gentle step.
Every action that seemed to move a little slower than others left an afterimage that did not quickly disappear.
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking that the smell of her laundry, which had always dried well in the sun, was carried by the wind, even though it could not have been.
Then, when he opened his eyes again, they suddenly narrowed.
“What is that?”
A man who was hard to see because he was wearing dark clothes approached her. No, maybe they had been walking together from the beginning.
The two stood facing each other and talked affectionately. He felt a strange sense of deja vu.
They kept a suitable distance, but it was not to the point where he could not feel their good feelings toward each other. This was also a scene he had seen somewhere.
Carson took a deep breath and exhaled again.
Even though he thought he was seriously ill, it was hard to ignore the emotions that suddenly came to him. He attributed it all to the time that prevented him from deciding anything, but he hated what he hated.
But he shook his head and forced a smile on his face.
At that moment, Ines smiled brightly at the man. The man was standing with his back to the palace. But he could clearly picture what kind of expression he was making. Carson gritted his teeth and returned to his desk.
He took a deep breath and exhaled it quickly and sharply, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of him.
As always, it was important to secure a good position before Manisuit moved.
When he was nervously turning twenty pages of documents, Ines returned.
“Huh?”
Ines smiled brightly, glad to see Carson back in his office. Even though they met every time, her heartbeat was pleasantly whenever she saw him.
“The meeting ended earlier than expected?”
Carson looked at Ines for a moment at her question and then turned his gaze back to the documents.
In that brief moment, she could sense that he was not in a good mood. Perhaps the meeting had actually been troubling his nerves.
Ines quietly returned to her seat. However, she couldn’t see the chair she was supposed to see. After looking around, he stood up himself, walked to the window, and brought the chair to her.
“Thank you.”
“Where have you been?”
Ines sat down in the chair hesitantly. However, she couldn’t think of putting down the documents she was holding in her chest due to his piercing gaze and just looked at him.
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, I’m on my way back from the guard station because they said they had to check on the embezzlement incident involving the secretary’s maid last time.”
“Who did you check on and what?”
Ines felt like she was being interrogated by the guard station for no reason.
“It was... nothing. I just checked a few facts and signed some documents, but Your Majesty?”
“Why?”
“Are you angry?”
“If I am?”
“Yes?”
“If I am, is there a way to appease me?”
Ines rolled her eyes for a moment.
“Don’t avoid eye contact.”
It was also one of the maid’s duties to check on the Emperor’s mood and make him feel better. Ines thought about it busily.
There was no way to appease an angry Emperor in the first place. So Ines thought of something else.
“Would you like me to rub your shoulders?”
“What?”
When Carson was more flustered than she had expected, Ines realized she had made the wrong choice.
“Well, when my father was angry, my mother would rub his shoulders and neck. Then, his anger would quickly subside...”
“Yes?”
“If I am, is there a way to appease me?”
Ines rolled her eyes for a moment.
“Don’t avoid eye contact.”
It was also one of the maid’s duties to check on the Emperor’s mood and make him feel better. Ines thought about it busily.
There was no way to appease an angry Emperor in the first place. So Ines thought of something else.
“Would you like me to rub your shoulders?”
“What?”
When Carson was more flustered than she had expected, Ines realized she had made the wrong choice.
“Well, when my father was angry, my mother would rub his shoulders and neck. Then, his anger would quickly subside...”
Even though Ines was making excuses, his face didn’t relax at all.
“What did your mother... do to your father?”
“Just pretend you didn’t hear that.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
A refreshing smile appeared on his face, making it hard to believe that he had been angry until just now. Ines felt relieved and despaired at the same time as she watched him. It was because her heart, which was beating so hard, didn’t seem to want to stop.
“Then... should I rub it?”
“No, let me do the opposite.”
When Ines blinked at the words that she didn’t understand, he grabbed the documents from her arms. When his little finger lightly brushed against her thumb, Ines flinched and shrugged. As soon as the documents were placed on the floor, he stepped back and stood. Then, without hesitation, he placed his warm hands on Ines’ shoulders.
“Perhaps Viscount Swenden did this to his wife when he went into the bedroom.”
“Ha, but I’m not angry.”
He chuckled, making the back of Ines’ neck tickle. Goosebumps appeared on the area from her wrist just above her hand to her forearm. He slowly rubbed the area from her neck to her shoulder in a circular motion.
“Ah.”
His hand stopped for a moment at the sound that came out without her knowing. But soon he pressed hard on the area. Ines had to keep her lips shut tightly to keep herself from making another sound.
“It’s really tense. Are you tired?”
“I’m not that tired.”
“Really?”
“What did your mother... do to your father?”
“Just pretend you didn’t hear that.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
A refreshing smile appeared on his face, making it hard to believe that he had been angry until just now. Ines felt relieved and despaired at the same time as she watched him. It was because her heart, which was beating so hard, didn’t seem to want to stop.
“Then... should I rub it?”
“No, let me do the opposite.”
When Ines blinked at the words that she didn’t understand, he grabbed the documents from her arms. When his little finger lightly brushed against her thumb, Ines flinched and shrugged. As soon as the documents were placed on the floor, he stepped back and stood. Then, without hesitation, he placed his warm hands on Ines’ shoulders.
“Perhaps Viscount Swenden did this to his wife when he went into the bedroom.”
“Ha, but I’m not angry.”
He chuckled, making the back of Ines’ neck tickle. Goosebumps appeared on the area from her wrist just above her hand to her forearm. He slowly rubbed the area from her neck to her shoulder in a circular motion.
“Ah.”
His hand stopped for a moment at the sound that came out without her knowing. But soon he pressed hard on the area. Ines had to keep her lips shut tightly to keep herself from making another sound.
“It’s really tense. Are you tired?”
“I’m not that tired.”
“Really?”
He answered softly as if asking, and rubbed the tense area hard with his fingertips, then swept it away with the same force.
“But are you really angry?”
“Yes.”
“Was the meeting difficult?”
“Yes, there were more than one or two things that bothered me.”
Ines simply nodded. Even if she knew that he was angry, there was nothing she could do.
“But that wasn’t the only reason I was angry.”
As he continued, Carson pressed his thumb and index finger into the hollow part of her neck with his large hand and moved up. Following his touch, Ines’s body tightened. It was difficult to gather her mind, which was becoming increasingly dizzy.
“Then what made you angry?”
“Ines.”
Instead of answering, Carson called her name softly.
“My father, you know. He was a coward. That’s why I always resented him.”
Ines froze in place, unable to answer. Even though they were close, it was not comfortable to hear him call the late Emperor a coward. Carson noticed Ines’ thoughts and gave a small smile, rubbing the back of her neck.
“But now it seems like he's planning to get worse.”
The hand that had been rubbing her neck had already moved down to Ines’ shoulder.
“He keeps making me see how lonely he is. It makes me want to understand.”
Ines’s heart sank at the words that he blurted out without thinking. Was it too much to think that his voice sounded lonely?
Ines wrapped her trembling hand around the back of his hand. He flinched at the thoughtless action and stopped what he was doing.
“Stop, please.”
“Why?”
“Of course it is.”
“What is it?”
Ines felt a little relieved when a smile came out of his voice.
“Where is the Emperor who rubs the shoulders of his maids?”
“An Emperor who rubs the shoulders of his maids...”
“But are you really angry?”
“Yes.”
“Was the meeting difficult?”
“Yes, there were more than one or two things that bothered me.”
Ines simply nodded. Even if she knew that he was angry, there was nothing she could do.
“But that wasn’t the only reason I was angry.”
As he continued, Carson pressed his thumb and index finger into the hollow part of her neck with his large hand and moved up. Following his touch, Ines’s body tightened. It was difficult to gather her mind, which was becoming increasingly dizzy.
“Then what made you angry?”
“Ines.”
Instead of answering, Carson called her name softly.
“My father, you know. He was a coward. That’s why I always resented him.”
Ines froze in place, unable to answer. Even though they were close, it was not comfortable to hear him call the late Emperor a coward. Carson noticed Ines’ thoughts and gave a small smile, rubbing the back of her neck.
“But now it seems like he's planning to get worse.”
The hand that had been rubbing her neck had already moved down to Ines’ shoulder.
“He keeps making me see how lonely he is. It makes me want to understand.”
Ines’s heart sank at the words that he blurted out without thinking. Was it too much to think that his voice sounded lonely?
Ines wrapped her trembling hand around the back of his hand. He flinched at the thoughtless action and stopped what he was doing.
“Stop, please.”
“Why?”
“Of course it is.”
“What is it?”
Ines felt a little relieved when a smile came out of his voice.
“Where is the Emperor who rubs the shoulders of his maids?”
“An Emperor who rubs the shoulders of his maids...”
At that moment, a long shadow fell over Ines’ desk. He stretched out his body and leaned toward her. When she turned reflexively, their eyes met. Then his face came closer.
“What do you think of when you see me?”
“Yes?”
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment