The difference between awareness and illusion (2)
As soon as Ian arrived at the castle, he locked himself in the training grounds. Even though he ran around the training grounds until he was out of breath, his chest still felt tight.
Ian stood tall and looked down at the floor.
No matter how much he tortured himself, he couldn't erase the voice of Kalit that filled his head.
"I plan to get engaged to Millenia."
It was something he heard while walking around Kalit and the villa.
The emotion that came over him when he heard that story was anger.
'Why do you have Millenia?'
It was a disloyal thought. It was not like himself.
Ian also knows from the beginning that he has no right to interfere with the relationship between Kalit and Millenia.
But still, he was seething inside. Uphold the honor of his family and be loyal to the Emperor.
Ian never wasted a single day of the destiny that was given to him.
As the eldest son of a Duke's family, he was a role model for others and never swore even when he was alone.
It wasn't that difficult. He's the type of person who just runs towards a goal when he has one.
That was the first time he felt confused. It was a strange experience to know that something was wrong but not be able to control his mind. Sweat ran down Ian's cheek and formed a bead on his chin. He absentmindedly wiped the sweat away and licked his lips.
"Shit."
Then he wiggled his finger at Tail, who was just watching from a corner of the training grounds.
"Come out."
"Why..."
"To spar."
"I don't like it-."
"Put your sword in."
Tails approached, dragging his feet.
However, he was unable to hold out for twenty rounds and was knocked out, as were the other knights. Beorn held out longer than most, but he was not satisfied.
"Brother, stop it now! Are you planning to kill us all?"
Only at Tail's scream did Ian lower his sword.
It's been a while since he's sparred to the point where his arms are sore. As Ian massaged his sore, stiff arms, he was reminded of old times.
'It was like this back then too.'
It was when the Marchioness of Astrod passed away.
A child attending a funeral was seen leaving alone without a nanny.
Ian followed Millenia without realizing it.
The child went into the study and did not come out for a long time. He couldn't wait outside so he went in and, surprisingly, she was asleep.
Ian was going to wake her up but he just left her alone. Her sleeping face looked so sleepy.
The child woke up a little later and said she had a headache and couldn't sleep all night. He felt sorry for that pale face. Maybe that's why he blurted out words he hadn't thought of.
"Should I carry you?"
"...Really?"
"Yes. I'll carry you until you fall asleep."
After that, Millenia had trouble sleeping. But strangely enough, she fell asleep right away when Ian carried her.
It was no use even if Chevio or Kjer carried her. She fell into a deep sleep only on Ian's back.
The little girl depended only on him. It was the first time in Ian's short life that he had felt such a feeling.
From that day on, Ian would visit the Astrod mansion whenever he had time. Just to carry Millenia until she fell asleep.
Looking back, it was the most dishonest time in Ian's life.
He suffered from muscle pain from carrying the baby for so long that he had a hard time concentrating in class the next day.
At that time, putting Millenia to sleep was more important than class. He never told anyone, but he even practiced singing lullabies by himself.
But in the end, he couldn't call her. At that time, something came up at home and Ian had to leave the capital for about a month.
When he returned home, Millenia did not remember him. Only a month had passed...
"Little brother, who is he?"
"Your brother is my friend. Don't you remember?"
"Huh? Is this your first time seeing me?"
Ian asked Chevio if there had been an accident, but he heard nothing.
From that day on, Ian stopped coming to Astrod's mansion.
He didn't want to meet Millenia's eyes, which didn't show even a hint of intimacy.
Ian turned his shoulders and headed toward the castle. He could hear the knights sighing in relief behind him.
"... Young Lady?"
There was a small figure at the entrance to the castle.
It was Millenia. She was wrapped in thick fur and stood in front of the castle with Nadia.
Ian's slow pace quickened. As he approached, Nadia stepped back.
"Why are you here?"
"Are you finished with your training?"
"Have you been waiting for... me?"
"Yes, I have something to discuss with you."
She raised her head towards the sky. His eyes were drawn to her eyelashes that were curled upwards.
"It looks like the snow has completely stopped. Will it stop snowing now?"
"It will be like that for the time being."
"Hmm."
Millenia reached out her hand, screaming a strange snorting sound.
Ian took her hand. Her hand was cold as if she had been waiting outside for a long time.
"Your hands are cold."
She gently tugged on Ian's finger as she made her way over to him.
Even with a slight movement, Ian's body follows suit. His overworked muscles feel lethargic.
"It's still cold. Come on in."
Ian followed her inside, trying to calm his seething heart.
If the owner of this hand smiles, then let's be satisfied with that.
***
We headed to Ian's personal study.
"Nadia, please wait outside for a moment."
"Yes, Miss. Feel free to talk."
As I entered the study, the strong smell of old books wafted in the air.
It wasn't very big, but the bookshelves were packed full. Except for the center where the sofa was, the entire room was surrounded by books.
Most of the books showed signs of having been read. Some had covers that were tattered as if they had been read repeatedly.
"Please sit down."
"Thank you."
I waited for Ian to sit down across from me and then opened my mouth.
"I'm the one the assassins are after."
"How can you be sure?"
"They approached Vivian."
That's why Vivian's expression was dark.
Ian said with a serious look on his face.
"Vivian is not the type of person to give in to threats."
"I know, too."
Vivian wasn't the type to tremble at the thought of her life being threatened. Rather, she would have come running to me and told me what was really going on.
But she didn't show me anything because they were holding her younger brother hostage.
"Baba found out that Vivian's younger brother, Luther, had not been seen for several days."
"Were they kidnapped by him?"
"I guess Baba was just suspicious. But today, he became sure when he saw Vivian meeting a young man at the cafe."
"He must be an assassin."
"That's right."
"Did you find out what they demanded from Vivian while they were holding Luther hostage?"
"The kid gave Vivian a metal box. He said it was expensive tea leaves and that he would like it if she served it to you."
"I think he ordered the poisoning."
Ian narrowed his eyes. There was a murderous look in his golden eyes.
"What should I do?"
"You can't take a hostage in the city, and Luther is definitely being held by the Windcatchers. They're staying in an abandoned brewery."
"You mean the abandoned building near the outer wall?"
"Yes, Baba tried to sneak in, but it seems he's having trouble getting close. The knights are currently monitoring the windcatchers, so he's not moving at all."
"I guess I'll have to pretend to withdraw the knight."
"Yes, we just need to make them let their guard down. I think the knights can move in as soon as Baba confirms the child's location."
"All right."
Ian answered without a second thought. In fact, it wasn't that difficult of a mission given the power of the Knights of Eldern.
"There there's a problem."
I lowered my gaze. I couldn't raise my head.
"According to Baba, they only gave Vivian one day. So we have to make sure Luther is safe before the sun rises tomorrow. If they catch wind of it before then, they might kill the child."
"..."
"Well, so Baba and the Duke rescue the child, and then when the knights enter."
I couldn't finish speaking, so I kept my mouth shut.
"No, it's too dangerous. I'll find another way."
"..."
"I'm sorry. I was being unreasonable. Please pretend you didn't hear me."
"Is that okay?"
"Yes?"
"I asked if that would be okay."
"Really... Are you okay?"
"If it is your will, Young Lady."
"Ah..."
My heart was touched by his calm voice.
"Thank you. If you need anything, please let me know. I'll be happy to help you with anything."
He stared at me without answering. When my cheeks stung from the intense gaze that seemed to pierce through me, Ian opened his mouth.
"Smile."
"Yes?"
"That will do."
Ian's expression as he spoke seemed somewhat lonely.
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