RAMHM - Chapter 42 < Because Today Is Our Last Day >



The excuse that he had added an escort for Countess Acacia due to the disappearance of the capital's women worked very well at the entrance. He felt a sense of emptiness when he entered the Grand Duke's residence too easily, wearing a robe cloak over his head and a few knights. Could it be that he had fallen for another of that woman's tricks? 

The situation where everything was going according to plan was dreamlike, but the most dreamlike thing was...The sound of his heart beating more and more violently as he descended into the dungeon.

‘In this deep, dark underground...’

Rhodnes felt the hairs on his head stand on end at a strange sensation that he found difficult to explain.

'...Adrienne is there.'

The slow steps dragged as if they were carrying a terrible weight with every step. As he passed Blie Acacia, who had naturally stepped aside, he saw a corpse shining in the moonlight. 

As Rhodnes stopped in front of the corpse, he felt the ground he was standing on crumble. It was the first time he had seen Adrienne since the debutante. The cheeks that had been flushed as she smiled at Noevian were bloodless. In her face, which was adorned so brightly, he cried as he saw the Adrienne of his younger days. Everything he had was gone, and his heart felt as if someone was beating him.

“Adrienne...”

The glass lid, which he naturally reached out to, did not open.

“Adrienne..”

A scream that felt like his head was going to burst echoed inside him. A desperate scream that no one could hear, only he could. A groan came out of his mouth that had never uttered a single groan, even though he had cut his flesh with his enemies and had been injured enough to soak new bandages with blood all night.

“Adrienne...!”

No one answered the name that was shouted low. Even Blie Acacia, who had offered to take Adrienne's place, stood quietly behind him.

*** 

I gritted my teeth as I watched the collapsing Rhodnes. When I first saw him in the graveyard, a greater sense of despair and sadness seemed to swirl around me like a gust of wind. 

Ah-.

'I am the despair inside.'

Suddenly, I realized something and the sky seemed to fall down. When I was alive, I foolishly fooled myself into becoming another man's wife and made him despair. After I died, I made him despair by not being able to answer his name. When I met Rhodnes, when I met An, the elation that seemed to me like everything would be resolved melted away like a candle in my hand.

'I am the despair inside.'

Even if I confess this absurd situation and revive Adrienne, who died many times in his heart, he cannot be with me.  A man who despairs so much over my death and breaks down to the point of silent sobbing can never accept Blié Acacia. How arrogant was my mouth when I said that I would help him forget Adrienne on her behalf when I didn’t even know what kind of heart he had when he spoke about Adrienne? 

As I watched An trembling and kneeling before the corpse, I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t even raise my head. Although it was quiet, he was crying as if his invisible soul was fading away. I felt as if I would suffocate from the great love of Rhodnes that had ended before it could even begin. 

*** 

How much time had passed? 

It was very dark before dawn. Rhodnes staggered in front of the glass case only when the extra candles I had brought had all melted and the moonlight was enough to illuminate half of the dungeon. Without realizing it, I reached out and grabbed his arm. And then I met his half-dead eyes. It gave me a creepy feeling, so I quickly let go of his hand.

“I was very worried because I couldn’t get in touch with you.”

“Why are you worried about me?”

“Are you going to continue like this?”

“The body has been properly identified. I would like to take the coffin outside right away, but...”

He was careful with his next words.

“This concludes our deal. Please communicate with my adjutants about the original offer of assistance.”

“Wait, wait!”

I grabbed Rhodnes’s collar with mixed emotions. When I felt Rhodnes’ gaze looking down at me linger on the hand holding his collar, my heart grew more anxious. Is this how we part? Like this? 

Rhodnes gave me a brief glance and then walked up the dungeon without any regrets. I followed him up the dungeon without a second thought. Rhodnes’s steps were unstoppable. He walked with such confidence, like a general heading to battle, that I felt a little uneasy. I couldn’t go back like this, without having any conversation with An and not even receiving a reply to my letters. The annex that Jonah and Marge had retreated to was left alone with just the two of us. I had to walk so fast that I was out of breath as I followed his wide strides. As he tried to climb over the high wall of the grand ducal palace without any trouble, I grabbed his arms tightly with both hands.

“Please, I have a favor to ask.”

“...”

Rhodnes, who had the same arrogant Prince face as before, lifted his chin and looked down at me. However, his once sparkling eyes were dark and dead. An inexplicable sense of anxiety enveloped my whole body, so I couldn’t just let him go and wait for the next time. I thought that if I missed today, I would never see him again.

“Even if you ask me for a favor, I won’t ask anything of you.”

That means the give-and-take relationship is over. I nodded my head with difficulty.

“Please take me to Starlight Hill.”

At that moment, Rhodnes’ face hardened noticeably. 

Was he still breathing? 

While I waited anxiously for an answer, Rhodnes’ face, frozen like a rock, changed from moment to moment.

“Perhaps today... is the last time Your Highness and I will face each other.”

Lastly. Seeing him clench his jaw at those words, I made a more earnest request.

“I have one last request.”

*** 

Rhodnes, who seemed ready to shake off my hand at any moment, did not reject me. 

If you ride a little further north from the central square of the capital, you will come across a slightly higher hill that offers a panoramic view of the capital. It was called Starlight Hill because you could see the pouring stars if you went on a dark night. 

I had always wanted to go there with An. I ignored the knight’s advice to go out with more escorts and drove the carriage with Rhodnes, who had hidden his face. We didn’t talk at all in the carriage. As soon as I got out of the carriage and went up to Starlight Hill, I jumped up to the top of the hill as if I was possessed. I wanted to come to this place, famous as the lovers’ hill, with An, who had shown up after the debutante. 

Here and there, I could see lovers out to watch the stars. I saw people lying on the dry grass and looking up at the sky, and I also lay down looking up at the sky. Rhodnes stood quietly behind me for a while and only after I had seen enough stars to get sick of them did he come and sit quietly next to me. 

We still didn’t say anything. I imagined my childhood days, when I would lie down and look at the stars with An, and perhaps Rhodnes would imagine looking at the stars with her, thinking of young Adrienne. We, who were together now, were lingering in the past that had already passed. That fact hit me hard, and when I finally saw Rhodnes not even giving me a glance, my resolve hardened.

'Let's not become his despair any longer.'

Anyway, I can't be with him in Blie.

'I was the one who followed Noevian and gave him my heart without realizing what scheme he was up to.'

I didn't even have the face to see Rhodnes. I couldn't understand why I wanted to meet him and talk to him. When I thought of him, broken and in pain by my death, I became certain.

'I must finish my revenge, I must not drag myself in any further.'

An deserves to forget the foolish Adrienne and spend the future with a better woman. I am glad that An came to Starlight Hill with me. I thought so sincerely, even if it was selfish. Adrienne, who died beautifully as if asleep, and now the stars pouring down from Starlight Hill. I thought it was a beautiful ending that left no regrets or regrets.

“That’s great. Now.”

“...”

I tried to speak brightly.

“Now that you’ve confirmed the body you’ve been waiting for, you can finally let it go. Me too...”

For some reason, my throat feels sore.

“Now that I have relieved myself of the burden of Your Highness, I can divorce the Count with peace of mind and achieve my desired goal.”

*** 

“I want to go to Starlight Hill with you.” 

She was a woman who was annoying to the end. She was a woman who pushed him into the abyss to the end. Today, the voice of an unusually talkative woman rang in his ears.  

'Perhaps today... is the last time Your Highness and I will meet.'

'This is my last request.'

The last. Rhodnes felt as if he had sunk underwater and was out of breath. The woman's voice that continued to tell the last story made him feel uncomfortable.

'I'm not worth living.'

Now, there was no longer even a smile that mocked him. He thought he was different. He had lived under the delusion that he was attracted to and loved only one woman, unlike his father and Noevian. If his integrity was so easily broken, why had he suffered so much for so many years? 

Where had all the time gone when his heart had not changed even after hearing the news of Adrienne’s marriage, but had instead grown bigger? 

Lying on the starlit hill and looking into the eyes of the woman counting the stars, Rhodnes realized that he had no choice but to accept it.

'I don't want to break up with this woman.'

If he had wanted the body of a seductive government, he would not have felt this way. His feelings for Adrienne were still the same. That tormented him even more.

'I'm the dog's motherf*cker.'

The father who was entangled with Baroness Kuroseda, and Noevian wanted Blie. What difference was there between them and him? 

Hearing the voice of the woman who said the end, saying that she had achieved her goal, he opened his mouth after a long time.

“Yes, this is the last one.”

“...”

“It’s completely over now.”

He naturally raised Blie Acacia and sent her back.

“We won’t meet again, so just live your life.”

She motioned to the coachman who was waiting from afar, and the coachman with a tired face escorted the woman away. 

*** 

This is really the end. It would also be for his good to disappear when he wants. She would apologize to An from afar and wish him happiness. But why does my heart feel so heavy?  

'We won't meet again, so just live your life.'

Even though we never saw each other alone like now, how could he have been so confident that we would never meet again? I stopped walking towards the carriage with a chill running down my spine. And after hesitating for a while, I suddenly looked back.

Rhodnes, who had turned his back on me, stood on top of Starlight Hill, sword in hand.

“...!”

“Oh, ma’am?”

My legs moved without time to think. The blade that Rhodnes had pulled out was pointed at none other than Rhodnes' own neck. The shoes I was wearing were all off, and the cold dirt and rough grass scratched my soft soles, but I ran towards Rhodnes. Then I fully extended both arms and slammed Rhodnes' sword into the ground. Rhodnes' blade, which fell without much resistance, was already slightly stained with red blood.

"Are you crazy?"

The idea that it would be a beautiful ending was just my own delusion.

“Why are you dying! Why on earth are you going to die after me just because you confirmed that Adrienne is dead?”

I shouted at Rhodnes, who had dead eyes, not knowing what was coming out of my mouth.

“What the heck... What the heck... !”

I was not in my right mind after seeing with my own eyes the scene where Rhodnes tried to take his own life. My hands and feet were shaking, and I couldn’t help but blame Rhodnes for being so foolish. With my trembling hands, I grabbed Rhodnes by the collar. The height difference was so great that I was practically hanging on. When I saw the blood dripping down his long, thick neck through the gap in his shirt, my sanity flew away and my resigned face suddenly distorted.

“...I lost.”

I let go of Rhodnes’s collar with my still trembling hands and looked up into his eyes. Eyes without the will to live were looking down at me numbly. 

Ah. 

I was arrogant again. A beautiful corpse. Our beautiful memories. Those things that remain as memories are of no use to me. I opened my trembling lips with difficulty and barely managed to spit out a voice that sounded like it was choking me.

“...I am Adrienne.”

The eyes of Rhodnes, already black and dead, did not waver at all. It was clear that he thought I was lying to save himself. Rhodnes's calm eyes had already passed me and turned to the sword I had dropped. I bit my lips hard enough to make blood spurt out and said a name that he could not help but respond to.

"...An."

And then, as if by magic, Rhodnes' hand, which was reaching for the sword, suddenly stopped.



Previous                Next



Support Novellate!

        Buy Me A Coffee

Comments