My body shook as violently as the Count's carriage, which was not a very luxurious vehicle, rattled.
'Cowan has always been the dog of His Highness Lord Rhodnes. I believe he has never left the palace grounds since Your Highness took him in. Are you mistaken?'
'Aren't I mistaken?'
'You misunderstood...'
Knock!
“Welcome, Countess Acacia.”
As soon as Jonah spoke, Noevian's adjutant, Sir Jimsker, came out from inside and greeted me.
“He's been waiting.”
It was as if I was a guest.
'Cowan has always been the dog of His Highness Lord Rhodnes. I believe he has never left the palace grounds since Your Highness took him in. Are you mistaken?'
'Aren't I mistaken?'
'You misunderstood...'
Knock!
I opened the window and felt the cold wind. My face was freezing. I felt like I couldn't bear it if I didn't do that.
'I think Cowan has grown a lot since I last saw him. I would be really happy if you brought him to the Grand Duke's residence.'
'Cowan?'
'This is the dog you were secretly raising in the villa.'
'Oh, that guy. I plan to take good care of him in the manor until you recover. What if you overdo it and get sick just to take him for a walk?'
Instead of shedding tears, my cold, frozen face felt like it was going to break. Now I couldn't even think about being confused.
'Did I really know anything in the first place?'
The moments that I had passed over without any suspicion, under the pretext of being sick, poured out like fireworks and fried my body.
'I think Cowan has grown a lot since I last saw him. I would be really happy if you brought him to the Grand Duke's residence.'
'Cowan?'
'This is the dog you were secretly raising in the villa.'
'Oh, that guy. I plan to take good care of him in the manor until you recover. What if you overdo it and get sick just to take him for a walk?'
Instead of shedding tears, my cold, frozen face felt like it was going to break. Now I couldn't even think about being confused.
'Did I really know anything in the first place?'
The moments that I had passed over without any suspicion, under the pretext of being sick, poured out like fireworks and fried my body.
***
The mansion, which I had come to without knowing what was in my mind, had an eerie atmosphere like an abandoned house. The servants of the Count's residence were lined up on both sides of the entrance as if they had been kicked out.
“Ma, Ma’am...!”
"Lady!"
Starting with the last one, the servants who looked like they had met a savior greeted me warmly. I barely came to my senses and looked around more. At the entrance of the mansion, there were dozens of knights on horseback, as well as wagons. It seemed like someone was going on a journey.
“Madam, inside...!”
“Ma, Ma’am...!”
"Lady!"
Starting with the last one, the servants who looked like they had met a savior greeted me warmly. I barely came to my senses and looked around more. At the entrance of the mansion, there were dozens of knights on horseback, as well as wagons. It seemed like someone was going on a journey.
“Madam, inside...!”
“Welcome, Countess Acacia.”
As soon as Jonah spoke, Noevian's adjutant, Sir Jimsker, came out from inside and greeted me.
“He's been waiting.”
It was as if I was a guest.
***
The view inside the mansion was even more spectacular. The lobby on the first floor, which should have been bright as day, was dark and dimly lit, with only a weak light around the sofa, making it seem as if not even a single mouse would pass by. In the middle of that silence, the only bright spot was where Noevian was sitting. Just like the owner of the house, Noevian was crossing his legs and resting his head on his arm on the armrest of the sofa.
When he heard my presence, he slowly raised his head. As expected, his eyes were tired and his blue pupils sparkled in the weak light. I approached him as I faced them. I didn’t even say hello, but he didn’t care. He just threw a piece of paper that was lying carelessly on the table at me.
“!”
Startled, I grabbed the fluttering paper in front of me and pressed it to my chest. Noevian suddenly stood up and approached me threateningly. I instinctively stepped back and stopped at the railing of the stairs leading to the second floor. He came closer and looked down at me as if he was pressing me down. He was close enough that I could hear him breathing.
“I would have told you to refuse the position of maid to the Crown Princess.”
“...”
“Did you think the palace didn’t have my eyes?”
I looked up at him, trembling and unable to breathe. Noevian chewed on each word and gritted his teeth.
“Not only did you become the Crown Princess’ maid, but what? While I was away from the Grand Duke’s residence, you were sent on a mission as an imperial employee? Receiving mourners at the Grand Duke’s residence? Do you find that funny?”
The legs hidden inside the hem of the voluminous dress trembled. I had seen Noevian's rough appearance many times since I became a Blie, but this time it was different. I could barely swallow my saliva as I felt a murderous aura.
“Are you still bothering me because I won’t grant your ridiculous wish to become a Grand Duchess?”
There was not a shred of sympathy in his expression as he looked me up and down and scolded me as if he were dumbfounded. I slowly lifted the paper pressed against my chest. It was clear that Doris had received this official notice that a manager would be dispatched before Noevian, who was scheduled to leave for Elacon today, had left in a rage and had come running after me.
Startled, I grabbed the fluttering paper in front of me and pressed it to my chest. Noevian suddenly stood up and approached me threateningly. I instinctively stepped back and stopped at the railing of the stairs leading to the second floor. He came closer and looked down at me as if he was pressing me down. He was close enough that I could hear him breathing.
“I would have told you to refuse the position of maid to the Crown Princess.”
“...”
“Did you think the palace didn’t have my eyes?”
I looked up at him, trembling and unable to breathe. Noevian chewed on each word and gritted his teeth.
“Not only did you become the Crown Princess’ maid, but what? While I was away from the Grand Duke’s residence, you were sent on a mission as an imperial employee? Receiving mourners at the Grand Duke’s residence? Do you find that funny?”
The legs hidden inside the hem of the voluminous dress trembled. I had seen Noevian's rough appearance many times since I became a Blie, but this time it was different. I could barely swallow my saliva as I felt a murderous aura.
“Are you still bothering me because I won’t grant your ridiculous wish to become a Grand Duchess?”
There was not a shred of sympathy in his expression as he looked me up and down and scolded me as if he were dumbfounded. I slowly lifted the paper pressed against my chest. It was clear that Doris had received this official notice that a manager would be dispatched before Noevian, who was scheduled to leave for Elacon today, had left in a rage and had come running after me.
I clenched my fists with trembling hands. My hands were covered in cold sweat due to the tension caused by his unexpected visit.
"...That's right."
“Are you kidding me?”
“What’s wrong with wanting to live in the Grand Duke’s residence where you are, when you’ve made it your own and don’t even have a wife?”
“I guess you don’t understand the topic. Should I tell you something?”
“...!”
Noevian grabbed my wrist roughly and pulled it toward him. The pain felt like it would snap if he applied just a little bit of force.
“You can only make such demands when you have done your duty.”
“My duty?”
“If it’s the government, it should act like the government and heat the bedroom.”
“!”
Was my heart already torn apart?
"...That's right."
“Are you kidding me?”
“What’s wrong with wanting to live in the Grand Duke’s residence where you are, when you’ve made it your own and don’t even have a wife?”
“I guess you don’t understand the topic. Should I tell you something?”
“...!”
Noevian grabbed my wrist roughly and pulled it toward him. The pain felt like it would snap if he applied just a little bit of force.
“You can only make such demands when you have done your duty.”
“My duty?”
“If it’s the government, it should act like the government and heat the bedroom.”
“!”
Was my heart already torn apart?
Noevian's voice was fierce and threatening, and the content was shocking, but tears did not well up like before. Instead, my mind sank as if it had been doused with cold water. As my heart, which had been rising and falling with tension, calmed down, the pain in the wrist he was holding disappeared. It wasn't that it didn't hurt. I had become accustomed to the pain.
“...Didn’t I do my duty?”
“Not even once.”
“...!”
Blie had never spent a night with Noevian before. That must be why he was so anxious. He felt empty somehow.
“You will be different from me, no matter who you have been with before. You will come to know clearly that the government’s fate is to try to tease others clumsily and end up being abandoned.”
Is that really so?
“...Didn’t I do my duty?”
“Not even once.”
“...!”
Blie had never spent a night with Noevian before. That must be why he was so anxious. He felt empty somehow.
“You will be different from me, no matter who you have been with before. You will come to know clearly that the government’s fate is to try to tease others clumsily and end up being abandoned.”
Is that really so?
If Noevian had met a woman only for the purpose of a physical relationship, it wouldn't have been a problem even if Blie had not been a troublesome person. Why would he be so anxious to keep a government that resembles his dead wife, who he still says he loves, by his side, and make such threats?
“I’m not going to live in the Grand Duke’s residence, so why are you so excited? Anyway, this time, it’s not my will to go, and I’m only going as a temporary manager. Looking closely, it’s a document that Her Majesty the Empress personally approved? Rather than sending a powerful person to the Grand Duke’s residence for no reason and causing political misunderstandings, she helped me prevent strange rumors from spreading. That’s why you came to me, a loyal and humble family. Please accept Her Majesty the Empress’s will and show more respect to the wife of a loyal vassal whom you treat so well.”
“You’re just talking. What on earth are you up to?”
“What on earth would I do against you? I’m the one who’s at a loss. It doesn’t seem like such a bad idea to me. If, as you say, time goes by and I’m going to settle down in one corner of the Grand Duke’s residence, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get to know the servants in advance.”
Even though I had regained my composure and spoke calmly, Noevian did not let down his guard. As soon as I raised my eyes, Noevian’s sparkling eyes were right in front of me.
“Yeah, so there was a reason, even if it was trivial.”
Noevian let out a low sigh as if he had lost his temper and said with a faint smile
“I think the servants still hold a grudge against you for the mistake they made back then. I’ll tell you since you don’t seem to know. Those servants were personally selected and sent by the imperial family, just like you, so they can’t be kicked out easily. So you’d better keep your temper under control.”
And he threw down my wrist that he had been holding tightly. As my wrist, which had not been able to get any blood, suddenly found freedom, an unpleasant, tingling sensation ran up and down my arm. I grabbed my wrist, which had a handprint, with my other hand and looked at him.
“...Even if you can’t kick them out, you can still punish them, right?”
“This is the last time you’ll act as you please. And..."
Noevian, who was sitting on the sofa again, threw the gossip papers that had been piled up on the side table onto the table.
“Don’t use the Second Prince to provoke me any further.”
There was a story about me and Rhodnes in a small, child-sized piece of gossip that had only the main parts torn out.
“Because this is your final warning.”
The final warning. As he chewed and spat out the words with his tired eyes raised sharply as if he were offering mercy, the anger that had been surging beneath my feet for a while began to boil over silently.
“...I have a question.”
I suppressed my anger and slowly approached Noevian as if I were talking to him for the first time today.
“Have you ever had a dog?”
Even in a threatening situation like before, my heartbeat which I hadn’t felt before seemed to burst through my ribs. Our precious memories. The only thing I couldn’t throw away and hold onto, was the most brilliant time in my life, as I struggled to erase and throw away all the moments I had with you.
“I’m not going to live in the Grand Duke’s residence, so why are you so excited? Anyway, this time, it’s not my will to go, and I’m only going as a temporary manager. Looking closely, it’s a document that Her Majesty the Empress personally approved? Rather than sending a powerful person to the Grand Duke’s residence for no reason and causing political misunderstandings, she helped me prevent strange rumors from spreading. That’s why you came to me, a loyal and humble family. Please accept Her Majesty the Empress’s will and show more respect to the wife of a loyal vassal whom you treat so well.”
“You’re just talking. What on earth are you up to?”
“What on earth would I do against you? I’m the one who’s at a loss. It doesn’t seem like such a bad idea to me. If, as you say, time goes by and I’m going to settle down in one corner of the Grand Duke’s residence, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get to know the servants in advance.”
Even though I had regained my composure and spoke calmly, Noevian did not let down his guard. As soon as I raised my eyes, Noevian’s sparkling eyes were right in front of me.
“Yeah, so there was a reason, even if it was trivial.”
Noevian let out a low sigh as if he had lost his temper and said with a faint smile
“I think the servants still hold a grudge against you for the mistake they made back then. I’ll tell you since you don’t seem to know. Those servants were personally selected and sent by the imperial family, just like you, so they can’t be kicked out easily. So you’d better keep your temper under control.”
And he threw down my wrist that he had been holding tightly. As my wrist, which had not been able to get any blood, suddenly found freedom, an unpleasant, tingling sensation ran up and down my arm. I grabbed my wrist, which had a handprint, with my other hand and looked at him.
“...Even if you can’t kick them out, you can still punish them, right?”
“This is the last time you’ll act as you please. And..."
Noevian, who was sitting on the sofa again, threw the gossip papers that had been piled up on the side table onto the table.
“Don’t use the Second Prince to provoke me any further.”
There was a story about me and Rhodnes in a small, child-sized piece of gossip that had only the main parts torn out.
“Because this is your final warning.”
The final warning. As he chewed and spat out the words with his tired eyes raised sharply as if he were offering mercy, the anger that had been surging beneath my feet for a while began to boil over silently.
“...I have a question.”
I suppressed my anger and slowly approached Noevian as if I were talking to him for the first time today.
“Have you ever had a dog?”
Even in a threatening situation like before, my heartbeat which I hadn’t felt before seemed to burst through my ribs. Our precious memories. The only thing I couldn’t throw away and hold onto, was the most brilliant time in my life, as I struggled to erase and throw away all the moments I had with you.
Noevian’s eyes, shining with blue light, furrowed slightly. A second felt like an eternity. Noevian’s thin, dry lips, which had been scanning me as if they were a nuisance, finally spoke the words I had been waiting for.
“...You’re talking softly.”
I tried to smile, holding back the feeling of all the blood rushing to my head and eyes. I asked desperately as if I was hanging on the edge of a cliff.
“...Does that mean you’ve never raised one, not even once?”
“That’s obvious.”
And the Noevian Trovica cut the only rope holding me back from the cliff.
“You’ve been acting really strangely lately.”
I was falling very slowly down the cliff. His voice, already growing increasingly distant, did not fully reach my ears. When I heard a careful knock on the front door of the mansion, Noevian stood up, adjusting his slightly disheveled clothes.
“Listen carefully. After this Elacon thing is over, and the funeral is over...”
And then he came towards me with bloodshot eyes and forced a smile and whispered in my ear.
“...I will have you.”
This time, there is no such thing as the right to arrogantly refuse. The low, chewing voice dissipated into the air, and I could not bear to look at Noevian’s back as he disappeared. As the door opened and closed, a cold wind swept over my body, but I did not feel the cold. My body was already shaking so much that I could not shake anymore. On my cheeks, which were hardened and could not even be distorted, tears, colder and thicker than the outside air, fell, drop by drop.
“...As anyone would wish.”
Whoever you are, you can take me.
'You are not inside.'
My first love, my most brilliant time together, my precious Ann, with whom I drew the future together…
“No. You are... not inside.”
It wasn't like that from the beginning. Right?
“...You’re talking softly.”
I tried to smile, holding back the feeling of all the blood rushing to my head and eyes. I asked desperately as if I was hanging on the edge of a cliff.
“...Does that mean you’ve never raised one, not even once?”
“That’s obvious.”
And the Noevian Trovica cut the only rope holding me back from the cliff.
“You’ve been acting really strangely lately.”
I was falling very slowly down the cliff. His voice, already growing increasingly distant, did not fully reach my ears. When I heard a careful knock on the front door of the mansion, Noevian stood up, adjusting his slightly disheveled clothes.
“Listen carefully. After this Elacon thing is over, and the funeral is over...”
And then he came towards me with bloodshot eyes and forced a smile and whispered in my ear.
“...I will have you.”
This time, there is no such thing as the right to arrogantly refuse. The low, chewing voice dissipated into the air, and I could not bear to look at Noevian’s back as he disappeared. As the door opened and closed, a cold wind swept over my body, but I did not feel the cold. My body was already shaking so much that I could not shake anymore. On my cheeks, which were hardened and could not even be distorted, tears, colder and thicker than the outside air, fell, drop by drop.
“...As anyone would wish.”
Whoever you are, you can take me.
'You are not inside.'
My first love, my most brilliant time together, my precious Ann, with whom I drew the future together…
“No. You are... not inside.”
It wasn't like that from the beginning. Right?
My soul, bleeding and completely broken at the back of my head, at the bottom of the cliff. Adrienne, who was weak but happy that day, screamed on the cold dirt floor, inside my head, until her throat was torn.
I couldn't look back even at the sound of the moving carriage and horse hooves, and the servants who had been kicked out coming in. I stood trembling as if the middle of the lobby was under a desolate winter cliff, listening to the screams of Adrienne when she was younger than now.
'From the beginning to the end... you lied to me. Didn't you?'
'From the beginning to the end... you lied to me. Didn't you?'
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