“You really didn’t know? That after I die, you will become the next Duchess of Temnes.”
Irena’s eyes shook.
“That’s ridiculous. That can’t be true.”
“The King’s order is for Vermont’s daughter to marry into Temnes.”
Claudel revealed the hurt she had received without holding back.
“Yes. At first, I thought it didn’t matter. I’m going to die anyway.”
It was a very shocking sight for Irena.
“I don’t care about what happens after I die. This marriage will give me food.”
She remembered everything about Claudel when she first came to the Castle of Valmond.
Until then, Irena didn’t even know that the Duke of Vermont had a brother.
The Duke of Vermont had kicked him out long before Irena was born, and because he was so power-hungry, he hated the mention of Evan in the castle, so everyone was wary.
Red hair fluttering in the north wind and clear golden eyes.
Irena knew from a very young age that the symbolic color of Vermont on her body was special.
Because of the hair color and eyes that resembled the Duke of Vermont, he proudly considered her a 'masterpiece of God' and that no one in the castle could do anything to her, a Vermonter.
However, when she looked in the mirror and neatly fixed her hair, she could only see her own hair and eyes for a moment, but when they were blown away by the strong wind, they would look so beautiful.
For Irena, the first time she saw her own specialness in someone else's body was when she first saw Evan and Claudel.
It was definitely there for her father, whom she saw every mealtime.
She couldn't understand why she felt that her uncle and cousin were so much more noble and beautiful. The girl who came holding Evan's hand was very discouraged.
'Hello. I'm Irena.'
Even when the Duchess of Vermont approached Irena and gave her a mission to give Claud a book or a doll, Claudel seemed to not even look her in the eye.
“My mother said that you will live here with me.”
But Claudel didn’t even open her mouth, so Irena forced Claudel to take the doll and book she had brought, and anyway, she considered that she had done what the Duchess of Vermont wanted.
The only thing Claudel responded to was sweets and candy. When Irena brought her a glass jar of sticky molasses candy and offered it to her one by one, she would open her mouth and eat it well.
“Claudel. Try it."
She knew that her suddenly born younger sibling would whisper something to Hannah when she was away.
However, unlike Irena who liked to speak in front of others, Claudel was quiet and shy. Irena secretly waited for her to speak to her first and raise her voice loudly.
The first time she heard Claudel’s real voice was at her uncle’s funeral. While the coffin was being carried to the crypt, Claudel screamed, cried, and called for her father, so much so that even adults could not easily tear her away.
Time felt long to children, and it seemed like it had been about a month since Claudel had come to the castle, but Irena felt like she had waited a very long time. She heard Claudel’s voice that she had been longing for, but she was not happy at all.
That day, Irena felt sad for the first time. It was sadder to see Claudel crying than to see the death of her uncle whom she had only seen a few times.
The Duke of Vermont had put a lot of effort into raising Irena, who was the successor to Valmonde. It would have been nice if the Duchess had a boy, but even if not, he was determined to take in a son-in-law.
Time felt long to children, and it seemed like it had been about a month since Claudel had come to the castle, but Irena felt like she had waited a very long time. She heard Claudel’s voice that she had been longing for, but she was not happy at all.
That day, Irena felt sad for the first time. It was sadder to see Claudel crying than to see the death of her uncle whom she had only seen a few times.
The Duke of Vermont had put a lot of effort into raising Irena, who was the successor to Valmonde. It would have been nice if the Duchess had a boy, but even if not, he was determined to take in a son-in-law.
Irena never learned how to bow down, bend, or be frustrated while growing up. The only time she felt sadness and heartache was when she sympathized with and empathized with Claudel’s experiences, so she could not properly grieve when she later lost her husband.
Things that she had not done much of were always immature and difficult. The child who had been like that gradually adapted to the castle and became part of Irena’s family.
“But if I had lived, my sister would have behaved well.”
“What, what did I...?”
“When my sister said she would visit Rowen. I begged my uncle not to send my sister away because I could do well.”
She realized that the years she and Claudel had thought they had shared together had been very different.
‘You go to Rowen for a bit, Irena. If you like it there, you can stay there forever.’
When she had been nagging to go to Rowen, did her father really mean ‘You can stay there forever’?
Irena was at a loss as to what to do.
Kaian had disappeared as if he had flown away to the palace, and Irena couldn’t even get on the butler’s carriage.
‘There are many confidential matters, so you should come separately.’
After the butler hurriedly departed with a carriage full of large boxes and bundles of documents, Irena had to hurriedly go out of the castle and find the necessary horses and carriages from the caravan heading to the royal palace.
It wasn’t a big deal, but she didn’t think at all that the thorough butler had left her behind on purpose.
That’s because she had seen Kaian do crazy things like scooping up water from the lake in search of Claudel. It was natural for the castle’s grand butler to take care of his master rather than his guests.
In any case, she had to find a horse and carriage that were inferior to the fine horses of Rowen Castle and arrived at the capital after a long time, but the King wouldn’t allow her to enter at the castle gate, so she couldn’t meet Claudel.
“Father. What happened? Have you seen Claudel?”
“I’m tired.”
She waited in the mansion all the time and clung to the Duke of Vermont, who had visited the royal palace, but she couldn’t hear much.
Then, unexpectedly, she heard the shocking news that the royal order to marry them had been revoked.
It was ridiculous that Claudel had requested a divorce. The King’s order was withdrawn.
Their loving smiles were still vivid in Irena’s memory as an ideal couple.
Was such a relationship going to fall apart because of a single piece of paper called the King’s order?
What was even more unbelievable was that this was what Claudel had wanted.
‘It was all nonsense, so I thought I wouldn’t believe anything until I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears.’
Claudel’s gaze at her seemed empty and painful, and Irena didn’t know what to do.
“Now that the position is empty, do whatever you want.”
The most shocking thing was that Claudel suspected her.
However, she wasn’t hurt or upset, but just felt sorry for her sister who had been so hurt.
“Claudel. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you cared about that.”
Irena wanted to hug Claudel. Claudel stubbornly sat down in the small space with her knees up, and Irena felt sorry for her, so she kept stroking her arms.
“You have everything.”
Claudel forcibly peeled off the outer skin and made the pale green leaves, which had not yet turned color, resemble a crushed flower bud.
“Having all the happiness and luck in the world all by yourself.”
But she could not agree with that.
“I also lost my husband.”
She could not tolerate the sadness she had been covering up in her heart because she could not bear it, as if it were nothing.
“Don’t think that you are the only one who has suffered from loss.”
“No. You have lost nothing.”
Irena froze at Claudel’s firm words.
“You are a Princess of the castle of Valmonde, and you are still called a Princess, so what have you lost?”
“...Claudel.”
“You have lost your husband? No. You will have a husband. One or two. You will always have what you need.”
Claudel was not that kind of child. Irena felt a gap between the Claudel she had known and what she saw.
“I have nothing. Not a single thing.”
Claudel let out a long sob.
“So I really wanted to protect the baby. I couldn’t even protect the baby...”
In the end, the spear on the tip of Claudel’s sharp tongue pierced Irena’s chest.
“Sob. Sob.”
Every time Claudel sobbed, lightning flew through her chest and sparks flew.
Irena was hurt. Every time she saw Claudel writhing in pain, she felt as if the feathers of the chick she held so preciously in her hands were being plucked out and flying into the air.
She was definitely being ruined.
However, it was so sudden and her heart was bruised where Claudel had scratched her so recklessly, so she didn’t know what else to do.
“I’ll leave for today.”
“Don’t come back again.”
“I’ll understand you today.”
Irena looked at Claudel, who had buried her head between her knees with a sad face. She reached out to Claudel’s thin shoulder, which was shaking slightly, unable to stop crying, but soon stopped.
“Let’s talk again next time.”
“...”
As Irena left and closed the door, my heart closed even further.
In fact, it was not Irena that I was resentful of.
The world, the God, was cursed.
The fate that was so cruelly cruel to me was too much.
The moment Irena tried to comfort me, I flew out uncontrollably.
The unrefined blade flew in all directions, saying that I would get hurt too.
“Ah...”
I knew that I was being ruined.
As much as I had hurt Irena and poured out my words, I had also hurt myself.
‘I’d rather be alone. ’
If I was going to go wild like this, scratching everywhere, it might be better not to see anyone.
‘I should tell her not to see anyone from now on.’
“Father. What happened? Have you seen Claudel?”
“I’m tired.”
She waited in the mansion all the time and clung to the Duke of Vermont, who had visited the royal palace, but she couldn’t hear much.
Then, unexpectedly, she heard the shocking news that the royal order to marry them had been revoked.
It was ridiculous that Claudel had requested a divorce. The King’s order was withdrawn.
Their loving smiles were still vivid in Irena’s memory as an ideal couple.
Was such a relationship going to fall apart because of a single piece of paper called the King’s order?
What was even more unbelievable was that this was what Claudel had wanted.
‘It was all nonsense, so I thought I wouldn’t believe anything until I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears.’
Claudel’s gaze at her seemed empty and painful, and Irena didn’t know what to do.
“Now that the position is empty, do whatever you want.”
The most shocking thing was that Claudel suspected her.
However, she wasn’t hurt or upset, but just felt sorry for her sister who had been so hurt.
“Claudel. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you cared about that.”
Irena wanted to hug Claudel. Claudel stubbornly sat down in the small space with her knees up, and Irena felt sorry for her, so she kept stroking her arms.
“You have everything.”
Claudel forcibly peeled off the outer skin and made the pale green leaves, which had not yet turned color, resemble a crushed flower bud.
“Having all the happiness and luck in the world all by yourself.”
But she could not agree with that.
“I also lost my husband.”
She could not tolerate the sadness she had been covering up in her heart because she could not bear it, as if it were nothing.
“Don’t think that you are the only one who has suffered from loss.”
“No. You have lost nothing.”
Irena froze at Claudel’s firm words.
“You are a Princess of the castle of Valmonde, and you are still called a Princess, so what have you lost?”
“...Claudel.”
“You have lost your husband? No. You will have a husband. One or two. You will always have what you need.”
Claudel was not that kind of child. Irena felt a gap between the Claudel she had known and what she saw.
“I have nothing. Not a single thing.”
Claudel let out a long sob.
“So I really wanted to protect the baby. I couldn’t even protect the baby...”
In the end, the spear on the tip of Claudel’s sharp tongue pierced Irena’s chest.
“Sob. Sob.”
Every time Claudel sobbed, lightning flew through her chest and sparks flew.
Irena was hurt. Every time she saw Claudel writhing in pain, she felt as if the feathers of the chick she held so preciously in her hands were being plucked out and flying into the air.
She was definitely being ruined.
However, it was so sudden and her heart was bruised where Claudel had scratched her so recklessly, so she didn’t know what else to do.
“I’ll leave for today.”
“Don’t come back again.”
“I’ll understand you today.”
Irena looked at Claudel, who had buried her head between her knees with a sad face. She reached out to Claudel’s thin shoulder, which was shaking slightly, unable to stop crying, but soon stopped.
“Let’s talk again next time.”
“...”
As Irena left and closed the door, my heart closed even further.
In fact, it was not Irena that I was resentful of.
The world, the God, was cursed.
The fate that was so cruelly cruel to me was too much.
The moment Irena tried to comfort me, I flew out uncontrollably.
The unrefined blade flew in all directions, saying that I would get hurt too.
“Ah...”
I knew that I was being ruined.
As much as I had hurt Irena and poured out my words, I had also hurt myself.
‘I’d rather be alone. ’
If I was going to go wild like this, scratching everywhere, it might be better not to see anyone.
‘I should tell her not to see anyone from now on.’
Thinking that I should definitely tell the servant or maid, I barely crawled out from under the table and stretched my body.
However, the next person I could not refuse was next.
“...Thank goodness. You’re alive. Thank you. God.”
The person who was thanking the God that I had just cursed.
“Hannah...”
However, the next person I could not refuse was next.
“...Thank goodness. You’re alive. Thank you. God.”
The person who was thanking the God that I had just cursed.
“Hannah...”
A New Series, For You Even Regret Is Luxury, is out now! It's such an interesting story, so I hope you will like it as much as I do! You can check it HERE!
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