“This is hell, where are you sending me?”
Kaian lowered his head in vain at the words that were poking at his bleeding wound.
A question suddenly occurred to him.
“You knew it when you saw her in the capital. Why didn’t you come forward to Claudel?”
However, her words caused the world, which had become a mess, to crumble once again.
“Because Claudel loves you.”
Madame Cronach said calmly and quietly.
“Isn’t the most important condition for her to become the Duchess of Temnes the daughter of Vermont?”
“...”
“If it were my daughter, I wouldn’t have anything to say even if the marriage was annulled.”
The night she first saw Madame Cronach in the capital, Claudel suffered from a nightmare.
‘Mom. Mom...’
She pleaded with a frown and a cold sweat.
‘Mom. Run away. Mom...’
He thought Madame Kronach’s burn scars had somehow triggered her trauma.
Her mother was really Madame Cronach.
“If she knew I was her mother, you would have definitely found out. She can’t lie.”
The only time a woman who couldn’t lie succeeded in deceiving Kaian was when Claudel left him.
Whether intentionally or not, Madame Cronach successfully stabbed Kaian in the heart.
“Then you would have asked something. From the Duke of Vermont. Or from me or Claudel.”
“...”
He wanted to say no, but he wasn’t sure about it.
Just like the day Claudel confessed to him, he had quickly calculated and said ‘no.’ It didn’t seem like he would have readily agreed to let her be the Duchess when he found out about her birth.
Everything Madame Cronach said was right.
Claudel was the daughter of the Duke of Vermont and thus had received the royal mandate. So there shouldn’t have been any issues with her birth or status. That was the purpose of the marriage.
But now, he felt like his own proper rule and judgment were being denied.
He had always been good at calculating and weighing things, and it was as easy as breathing.
But now that Claudel’s whereabouts were unknown, the scales felt completely broken.
It was the price he paid for trying to weigh things that should not be weighed.
“What should I do?”
Kaian desperately needed someone to tell him.
He was always the one who made all the decisions.
He didn’t know how to handle things that had escaped his control. It was the first painful failure that would remain in his life.
“Find Claudel.”
“I tried to find Claudel, but...”
The butler said there was no chance she was alive. It was quite a blow to Kaian that the person who should have followed his will and supported him the most had said such negative words.
“You must find her. So, if there is something wrong, apologize.”
Madame Cronach stood up.
“If you can’t find her, she’s not dead. So find her.”
Kaian nodded.
“Yes. If you can’t find her, she’s not dead.”
He chewed on those words over and over again like a child who had just learned to speak.
He would definitely find her.
After arriving at the palace, Claudel spent the next few days sleeping. This was her first time on a boat, and it wasn’t easy.
Fortunately, she didn’t get seasick.
Since she was going to attend the water banquet, the doctor gave her some motion sickness medicine just in case.
“Motion sickness? It varies from person to person, but some people get motion sickness even when riding a carriage or horse.”
The doctor made exaggerated gestures while explaining motion sickness.
“There are some people who suffer ten or twenty times more than the morning sickness you suffered from.”
So he asked her to take some medicine that tasted strange and bitter.
Motion sickness could be worse than morning sickness, which makes you feel like your stomach is turning, you have a headache, you feel nauseous, and you feel like you’re going to vomit.
For Claudel, who had been relieved to some extent by filling her stomach with food, it was a terrible thought to even imagine.
It could be several times worse than the hardship!
Anyway, there were no problems, such as worrying whether the motion sickness medicine worked or whether it was just luck that made her fit for a boat trip.
I didn't know that not being able to use water freely could be such an inconvenient thing.
Kaian lowered his head in vain at the words that were poking at his bleeding wound.
A question suddenly occurred to him.
“You knew it when you saw her in the capital. Why didn’t you come forward to Claudel?”
However, her words caused the world, which had become a mess, to crumble once again.
“Because Claudel loves you.”
Madame Cronach said calmly and quietly.
“Isn’t the most important condition for her to become the Duchess of Temnes the daughter of Vermont?”
“...”
“If it were my daughter, I wouldn’t have anything to say even if the marriage was annulled.”
The night she first saw Madame Cronach in the capital, Claudel suffered from a nightmare.
‘Mom. Mom...’
She pleaded with a frown and a cold sweat.
‘Mom. Run away. Mom...’
He thought Madame Kronach’s burn scars had somehow triggered her trauma.
Her mother was really Madame Cronach.
“If she knew I was her mother, you would have definitely found out. She can’t lie.”
The only time a woman who couldn’t lie succeeded in deceiving Kaian was when Claudel left him.
Whether intentionally or not, Madame Cronach successfully stabbed Kaian in the heart.
“Then you would have asked something. From the Duke of Vermont. Or from me or Claudel.”
“...”
He wanted to say no, but he wasn’t sure about it.
Just like the day Claudel confessed to him, he had quickly calculated and said ‘no.’ It didn’t seem like he would have readily agreed to let her be the Duchess when he found out about her birth.
Everything Madame Cronach said was right.
Claudel was the daughter of the Duke of Vermont and thus had received the royal mandate. So there shouldn’t have been any issues with her birth or status. That was the purpose of the marriage.
But now, he felt like his own proper rule and judgment were being denied.
He had always been good at calculating and weighing things, and it was as easy as breathing.
But now that Claudel’s whereabouts were unknown, the scales felt completely broken.
It was the price he paid for trying to weigh things that should not be weighed.
“What should I do?”
Kaian desperately needed someone to tell him.
He was always the one who made all the decisions.
He didn’t know how to handle things that had escaped his control. It was the first painful failure that would remain in his life.
“Find Claudel.”
“I tried to find Claudel, but...”
The butler said there was no chance she was alive. It was quite a blow to Kaian that the person who should have followed his will and supported him the most had said such negative words.
“You must find her. So, if there is something wrong, apologize.”
Madame Cronach stood up.
“If you can’t find her, she’s not dead. So find her.”
Kaian nodded.
“Yes. If you can’t find her, she’s not dead.”
He chewed on those words over and over again like a child who had just learned to speak.
He would definitely find her.
***
After arriving at the palace, Claudel spent the next few days sleeping. This was her first time on a boat, and it wasn’t easy.
Fortunately, she didn’t get seasick.
Since she was going to attend the water banquet, the doctor gave her some motion sickness medicine just in case.
“Motion sickness? It varies from person to person, but some people get motion sickness even when riding a carriage or horse.”
The doctor made exaggerated gestures while explaining motion sickness.
“There are some people who suffer ten or twenty times more than the morning sickness you suffered from.”
So he asked her to take some medicine that tasted strange and bitter.
Motion sickness could be worse than morning sickness, which makes you feel like your stomach is turning, you have a headache, you feel nauseous, and you feel like you’re going to vomit.
For Claudel, who had been relieved to some extent by filling her stomach with food, it was a terrible thought to even imagine.
It could be several times worse than the hardship!
Anyway, there were no problems, such as worrying whether the motion sickness medicine worked or whether it was just luck that made her fit for a boat trip.
I didn't know that not being able to use water freely could be such an inconvenient thing.
'Even at the Castle de Valmonde, we didn't have this much water.'
In the summer, the Castle de Valmonde brought in water from outside through aqueducts, but in the winter, they had to break the ice and melt it to make drinking water.
The water needed for washing was heated by the servants who brought in buckets to fill the bathtub, but it was not easy because it was so hard, so she could not wash every day.
However, thanks to the device of Rowen Castle that was remodeled by the 'eccentric Temnes', as Kaian said, she could use clean water in her room whenever she wanted, so it felt uncomfortable to have to wash her face and hands only with a wet towel on the ship.
On her first day on the ship, she held her breath as much as she could until she was far from the Temnes family's ship and swam into the water, and then she swam to Valquiterre ship.
Whether it was because she was nervous or because she was pregnant, she took medicine because her stomach hurt, and she fell asleep as if she had passed out.
However, after waking up and living on the ship for about half a day, she became very depressed. The sorrowful heart of a pregnant woman who should have been protected and cared for, naturally became sensitive to the uncomfortable and difficult situation, as if she was going to find fault with everything.
The smell of the stale cabin was masked by burning incense, the bathroom she wanted to go to often was uncomfortable, and the inability to wash her hands freely.
And the end of that thought soon reached the opposite side of this anxious situation. She didn’t want to think about Kaian at all, but he kept coming to her mind because she was so resentful that she asked the doctor to prescribe her some sleeping pills.
“What do you mean sleeping pills?”
“I’m not feeling well. It’s uncomfortable to stay on the ship, so I thought it would be better to sleep soundly and rest.”
It wasn’t an excuse, but the baby seemed to read her anxiety and showed signs of difficulty in her stomach. She had just entered the stable period and had only felt the fetal movements a few times, but she could tell right away.
“Hmm. Since you need to rest, that’s okay.”
The doctor looked at Valquiterre as if asking for permission, and he immediately gave permission.
“Do whatever you want.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Only after taking the pills was Claudel able to let go of her thoughts about the unfortunate end of her forced marriage and fall asleep.
However, most of the time she was asleep, and the trip by boat was tiring, so she couldn’t come to her senses without medicine when she got off at the palace.
Whenever she woke up for a moment, the doctor would check on her, and he would say that there was nothing wrong with Claudel and the baby’s health.
Then, she would feel relieved and fall asleep again.
‘It’s been so hard.’
She thought that it would be understandable.
It wasn’t just a matter of whether or not the child would be accepted. Claudel’s heart started to turn cold as if she had poured cold water on the fire in the hearth and she began to suffer from anxiety after Kaian pushed her away at the palace.
Her heart continued to ache and be difficult.
She had a feeling that no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be happy, but she tried to close her eyes and ears to the miraculous luck of being pregnant.
Because the baby that she had found with such difficulty would definitely not be an ordinary baby.
Whether it was hope or a miracle. It would be a very special existence for her.
It was just holding on.
The misfortune that was coming as planned made Claudel turn away, jokingly succumbing to it.
“Ha.”
Claudel gasped for breath, perhaps because her head hurt due to her bad thoughts.
“It’s time to eat, Lady Claudel.”
No one called her ‘Duchess’ since she was staying in the palace secretly, perhaps because Valquiterre had warned her. Claudel felt empty, even though she thought it would be better.
‘It must be because I tried so hard to become a Duchess.’
In the summer, the Castle de Valmonde brought in water from outside through aqueducts, but in the winter, they had to break the ice and melt it to make drinking water.
The water needed for washing was heated by the servants who brought in buckets to fill the bathtub, but it was not easy because it was so hard, so she could not wash every day.
However, thanks to the device of Rowen Castle that was remodeled by the 'eccentric Temnes', as Kaian said, she could use clean water in her room whenever she wanted, so it felt uncomfortable to have to wash her face and hands only with a wet towel on the ship.
On her first day on the ship, she held her breath as much as she could until she was far from the Temnes family's ship and swam into the water, and then she swam to Valquiterre ship.
Whether it was because she was nervous or because she was pregnant, she took medicine because her stomach hurt, and she fell asleep as if she had passed out.
However, after waking up and living on the ship for about half a day, she became very depressed. The sorrowful heart of a pregnant woman who should have been protected and cared for, naturally became sensitive to the uncomfortable and difficult situation, as if she was going to find fault with everything.
The smell of the stale cabin was masked by burning incense, the bathroom she wanted to go to often was uncomfortable, and the inability to wash her hands freely.
And the end of that thought soon reached the opposite side of this anxious situation. She didn’t want to think about Kaian at all, but he kept coming to her mind because she was so resentful that she asked the doctor to prescribe her some sleeping pills.
“What do you mean sleeping pills?”
“I’m not feeling well. It’s uncomfortable to stay on the ship, so I thought it would be better to sleep soundly and rest.”
It wasn’t an excuse, but the baby seemed to read her anxiety and showed signs of difficulty in her stomach. She had just entered the stable period and had only felt the fetal movements a few times, but she could tell right away.
“Hmm. Since you need to rest, that’s okay.”
The doctor looked at Valquiterre as if asking for permission, and he immediately gave permission.
“Do whatever you want.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Only after taking the pills was Claudel able to let go of her thoughts about the unfortunate end of her forced marriage and fall asleep.
However, most of the time she was asleep, and the trip by boat was tiring, so she couldn’t come to her senses without medicine when she got off at the palace.
Whenever she woke up for a moment, the doctor would check on her, and he would say that there was nothing wrong with Claudel and the baby’s health.
Then, she would feel relieved and fall asleep again.
‘It’s been so hard.’
She thought that it would be understandable.
It wasn’t just a matter of whether or not the child would be accepted. Claudel’s heart started to turn cold as if she had poured cold water on the fire in the hearth and she began to suffer from anxiety after Kaian pushed her away at the palace.
Her heart continued to ache and be difficult.
She had a feeling that no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be happy, but she tried to close her eyes and ears to the miraculous luck of being pregnant.
Because the baby that she had found with such difficulty would definitely not be an ordinary baby.
Whether it was hope or a miracle. It would be a very special existence for her.
It was just holding on.
The misfortune that was coming as planned made Claudel turn away, jokingly succumbing to it.
“Ha.”
Claudel gasped for breath, perhaps because her head hurt due to her bad thoughts.
“It’s time to eat, Lady Claudel.”
No one called her ‘Duchess’ since she was staying in the palace secretly, perhaps because Valquiterre had warned her. Claudel felt empty, even though she thought it would be better.
‘It must be because I tried so hard to become a Duchess.’
It was a pointless ending.
Claudel steeled herself.
‘I have to eat well and live well. I have to give birth to a healthy baby.’
Claudel steeled herself.
‘I have to eat well and live well. I have to give birth to a healthy baby.’
She had come all this way, enduring such enormous things to save the baby. If Claudel had acted carelessly and the baby was not growing well, why had she made such a fuss?
“I have no appetite, perhaps because I came from a long journey. Please give me something soft that is easy to digest.”
“Yes.”
She didn’t feel particularly hungry. However, when she felt her stomach with her hand for a few days, it had definitely gotten bigger.
They say that when you reach a stable period, your stomach will start to grow noticeably.
‘If my stomach grows even when I skip meals, what is the baby eating?’
Claudel placed her hand on her lower abdomen and stroked it as if she was soothing a baby.
After a while, the maids diligently brought food into the room for her. However, Claudel froze when she saw the food that had been brought in.
“This is...”
It was typical food from Oberon’s palace. It was served in bite-size portions on beautiful plates with gold leaf on the edges and decorated with gold leaf and flower petals, and it was very appetizing.
As soon as Claudel saw the food, she felt her small appetite, which she had been consciously trying to eat for the baby, disappear.
‘Why are all the foods served in small portions?’
When she, who had little experience in foreign countries, asked curiously,
“Don’t be a picky eater.”
“...Really?”
“Hehe. ”
The person who had been teasing her came to mind.
“Ah...”
Her eyes stung, and she unconsciously squeezed the napkin the maid had handed her, causing the others who had been serving her to widen their eyes.
“Oh, Lady Claudel. Are you okay?”
“Why are you suddenly like that? Is something uncomfortable?”
“Oh, no.”
The maids were furious because Valquiterre had been strictly warning them to take good care of Claudel.
“Um... Can I ask you to cook Valmonde style?”
“Yes?”
“I think it’s because I’m pregnant, but my appetite has become strange. I don’t think I can eat this.”
“Oh. I see.”
The women exchanged disappointed glances and quickly put away the perfectly good dishes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you in advance, since you must be hungry.”
“No need to.”
“I’ll hurry up and prepare it again.”
As the maids left, hunger belatedly set in.
However, it was not an emptiness that could be filled with food.
“...Kaian.”
“I have no appetite, perhaps because I came from a long journey. Please give me something soft that is easy to digest.”
“Yes.”
She didn’t feel particularly hungry. However, when she felt her stomach with her hand for a few days, it had definitely gotten bigger.
They say that when you reach a stable period, your stomach will start to grow noticeably.
‘If my stomach grows even when I skip meals, what is the baby eating?’
Claudel placed her hand on her lower abdomen and stroked it as if she was soothing a baby.
After a while, the maids diligently brought food into the room for her. However, Claudel froze when she saw the food that had been brought in.
“This is...”
It was typical food from Oberon’s palace. It was served in bite-size portions on beautiful plates with gold leaf on the edges and decorated with gold leaf and flower petals, and it was very appetizing.
As soon as Claudel saw the food, she felt her small appetite, which she had been consciously trying to eat for the baby, disappear.
‘Why are all the foods served in small portions?’
When she, who had little experience in foreign countries, asked curiously,
“Don’t be a picky eater.”
“...Really?”
“Hehe. ”
The person who had been teasing her came to mind.
“Ah...”
Her eyes stung, and she unconsciously squeezed the napkin the maid had handed her, causing the others who had been serving her to widen their eyes.
“Oh, Lady Claudel. Are you okay?”
“Why are you suddenly like that? Is something uncomfortable?”
“Oh, no.”
The maids were furious because Valquiterre had been strictly warning them to take good care of Claudel.
“Um... Can I ask you to cook Valmonde style?”
“Yes?”
“I think it’s because I’m pregnant, but my appetite has become strange. I don’t think I can eat this.”
“Oh. I see.”
The women exchanged disappointed glances and quickly put away the perfectly good dishes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you in advance, since you must be hungry.”
“No need to.”
“I’ll hurry up and prepare it again.”
As the maids left, hunger belatedly set in.
However, it was not an emptiness that could be filled with food.
“...Kaian.”
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