“If you tell me, they won’t listen.”
“Kaian.”
I looked up at my husband with a smile and then lowered my gaze as soon as our eyes met.
Despite the fact that he welcomed me, Kaian's eyes were as cold as thin ice, filled with some kind of dissatisfaction.
“Why bother staying there when the butler recommends it? Butler, how long did Claudel stand?”
“About three hours.”
Kaian's brow furrowed, and the servants and maids who were working chaotically around him suddenly became quiet.
"Follow me."
I looked at the eyes of the employees looking at me and Kaian.
'This is like debuting as a lord's wife.'
That's what I thought about the sudden preparations to welcome the King. But my husband appeared out of nowhere and broke my spirit.
“Just look at this...”
Before I could finish speaking, Kaian snatched the paper I was holding in my hand from counting the curtains and blankets I had taken out of the castle and handed it over to the butler. At that moment, I cried as if my cherished treasure had been taken away.
“Listen quietly.”
The feeling in my heart was so strong that she was surprised.
'Isn't morning sickness over?'
Just as the doctor said, it had only been three days since I thought my emotions had calmed down like a calm lake.
Anyway, as the employees glanced at our confrontation, the energy that had been diligently playing with our hands and feet dropped, and we looked at each other and stood aloof, eventually I grabbed Kaian's arm.
"All right."
Only then did Kaian look down at me coldly, as if urging me on, and he relaxed his gaze and began to walk towards the bedroom as if escorting me.
I kept my mouth shut and said nothing until I reached the room. Because I wanted to show that I was offended.
Kaian said to Hannah.
“It’s time for tea.”
“I’m baking cookies in the kitchen today. I’ll bring the tea up with the new one.”
"Yes."
At his words, the bell of Temnes disappeared as if jumping out.
“You’re doing it too much.”
When the door to the room closed and the two were left together, I looked at him with sad eyes.
“What do you mean I went too far?”
“I was working hard in my own way. What will my subordinates think of me if their madam leaves without doing their work?”
“What do they think? They’ll think you're the hostess of Rowen.”
Kaian seemed to have no idea what the problem was or why I was like this. Seeing his reaction made her feel sad.
'I have to be a proper hostess.'
In this way, the position of the future baby as a successor will be strengthened.
It was a daily routine where I was half-tired due to morning sickness, but as soon as my physical condition improved, I started to run around busily looking for things I should have done a long time ago.
I couldn't just leave the work I had neglected until now as it was. A hostess who has nothing to do in the castle. A scarecrow-like Madam who has no influence in deciding big or small matters in the castle. A Duchess who is ignored and not respected by her employees.
'I can't be that kind of mother to my child.'
The hostess's influence and status within the family directly influence the treatment of her successor.
There are two main factors that affect the evaluation of a woman who has given birth to a child: one is whether she is favored by the head of the family, and the other is whether she manages the estate well.
Kaian seemed to be the type of person who cared for me to the point where others said he was 'overprotective' of even the royal family whom I had never met before. So, putting aside what was in front of me, the remaining one was the problem. After giving birth, I would not be able to directly handle the castle's affairs for a while during the postpartum period, but I planned to make room for myself as much as possible.
As expected, a mother was strong.
“I told you not to think about hanging out and eating here someday.”
In such a case, when will he come and disturb me when I say I am trying to do my work?
“Didn’t the doctor tell you that it’s not good to stand for long periods of time?”
"But...”
Having a hard stomach was not a good thing. The doctor warned him not to stand or run for long periods of time, and these were all recommended to Kaian for his treatment.
“The butler will take care of it, so you don’t have to worry about taking care of Valquiterre.”
"No, I do not want."
I was displeased with his exclusion from these matters.
“I am not a patient. If I learn various things, I can do them all.”
“I said you don’t need to do it.”
“I say I do it because I like it. What kind of meddling is this?”
My position remained ambiguous. I was in a relationship through an arranged marriage between powerful noble families, but I was unable to completely win over my husband's heart, and my own family was caught between them as their relationship was not as good as theirs.
'Kaian probably doesn't know how I feel right now.'
When I thought of the pregnancy that both the doctor and Hannah rejoiced over and over again, saying it was like a miracle, I was grateful for the baby who came to me like this, and the life in my womb was so precious and wonderful that I didn't know what to do. Then, when I remembered my precarious situation, I felt sorry for the baby.
'I wish I had been a better mother.'
I didn't have to worry about anything going wrong, but I was sorry that I couldn't give birth to my child with a healthier and stronger body, and I was sorry that I was a mother who didn't have a strong supporter.
I, who had nothing much, was determined to do whatever it took to give my love and attention to the child who had given me hope in life.
There was no way I could tell Kaian such secrets since he had not yet even told him about my pregnancy.
Moreover, if I revealed my inner feelings, I would be exposing my own shortcomings to the man who had grown up unaware of the shortcomings or deficiencies throughout my life, which somehow hurt my pride.
'I don't think anyone will understand what I say.'
Kaian believed that even the god of death could defeat him, and he actually was.
Perhaps he was a man who seemed to be on the opposite scale of my life.
Unlike me, whose life was harsh and impoverished, a man who rose to a glorious position, enjoying only the blessings and good fortune. He is a man who always wins and never seems to have the bitter taste of defeat. A lion with a full stomach will not be able to understand a rabbit that is hungry because there is no grass to eat.
“What kind of interference are you talking about?”
Kaian looked at me closely as I raised my voice angrily.
“Why are you so excited?”
“I’m sorry.”
I tried to contain my excitement.
“I tried my best to take care of my business, but you forced me to not do it.”
In this situation, I was the first to offer my apology. Even when my heart was hurt and I was being petty, the pride of a great man was such that he was taken care of by those around him.
So that he doesn't bow down first.
Soon Hannah came in, pushing a tray filled with nice-smelling tea and snacks.
'Not long ago I had a huge appetite.'
My morning sickness from eating seemed to be definitely over. This is because even looking at a small cake coated with chocolate and shiny on the outside does not whet my appetite.
Kaian dragged me to the table and filled my teacup with his own hands.
I looked up at my husband with a smile and then lowered my gaze as soon as our eyes met.
Despite the fact that he welcomed me, Kaian's eyes were as cold as thin ice, filled with some kind of dissatisfaction.
“Why bother staying there when the butler recommends it? Butler, how long did Claudel stand?”
“About three hours.”
Kaian's brow furrowed, and the servants and maids who were working chaotically around him suddenly became quiet.
"Follow me."
I looked at the eyes of the employees looking at me and Kaian.
'This is like debuting as a lord's wife.'
That's what I thought about the sudden preparations to welcome the King. But my husband appeared out of nowhere and broke my spirit.
“Just look at this...”
Before I could finish speaking, Kaian snatched the paper I was holding in my hand from counting the curtains and blankets I had taken out of the castle and handed it over to the butler. At that moment, I cried as if my cherished treasure had been taken away.
“Listen quietly.”
The feeling in my heart was so strong that she was surprised.
'Isn't morning sickness over?'
Just as the doctor said, it had only been three days since I thought my emotions had calmed down like a calm lake.
Anyway, as the employees glanced at our confrontation, the energy that had been diligently playing with our hands and feet dropped, and we looked at each other and stood aloof, eventually I grabbed Kaian's arm.
"All right."
Only then did Kaian look down at me coldly, as if urging me on, and he relaxed his gaze and began to walk towards the bedroom as if escorting me.
I kept my mouth shut and said nothing until I reached the room. Because I wanted to show that I was offended.
Kaian said to Hannah.
“It’s time for tea.”
“I’m baking cookies in the kitchen today. I’ll bring the tea up with the new one.”
"Yes."
At his words, the bell of Temnes disappeared as if jumping out.
“You’re doing it too much.”
When the door to the room closed and the two were left together, I looked at him with sad eyes.
“What do you mean I went too far?”
“I was working hard in my own way. What will my subordinates think of me if their madam leaves without doing their work?”
“What do they think? They’ll think you're the hostess of Rowen.”
Kaian seemed to have no idea what the problem was or why I was like this. Seeing his reaction made her feel sad.
'I have to be a proper hostess.'
In this way, the position of the future baby as a successor will be strengthened.
It was a daily routine where I was half-tired due to morning sickness, but as soon as my physical condition improved, I started to run around busily looking for things I should have done a long time ago.
I couldn't just leave the work I had neglected until now as it was. A hostess who has nothing to do in the castle. A scarecrow-like Madam who has no influence in deciding big or small matters in the castle. A Duchess who is ignored and not respected by her employees.
'I can't be that kind of mother to my child.'
The hostess's influence and status within the family directly influence the treatment of her successor.
There are two main factors that affect the evaluation of a woman who has given birth to a child: one is whether she is favored by the head of the family, and the other is whether she manages the estate well.
Kaian seemed to be the type of person who cared for me to the point where others said he was 'overprotective' of even the royal family whom I had never met before. So, putting aside what was in front of me, the remaining one was the problem. After giving birth, I would not be able to directly handle the castle's affairs for a while during the postpartum period, but I planned to make room for myself as much as possible.
As expected, a mother was strong.
“I told you not to think about hanging out and eating here someday.”
In such a case, when will he come and disturb me when I say I am trying to do my work?
“Didn’t the doctor tell you that it’s not good to stand for long periods of time?”
"But...”
Having a hard stomach was not a good thing. The doctor warned him not to stand or run for long periods of time, and these were all recommended to Kaian for his treatment.
“The butler will take care of it, so you don’t have to worry about taking care of Valquiterre.”
"No, I do not want."
I was displeased with his exclusion from these matters.
“I am not a patient. If I learn various things, I can do them all.”
“I said you don’t need to do it.”
“I say I do it because I like it. What kind of meddling is this?”
My position remained ambiguous. I was in a relationship through an arranged marriage between powerful noble families, but I was unable to completely win over my husband's heart, and my own family was caught between them as their relationship was not as good as theirs.
'Kaian probably doesn't know how I feel right now.'
When I thought of the pregnancy that both the doctor and Hannah rejoiced over and over again, saying it was like a miracle, I was grateful for the baby who came to me like this, and the life in my womb was so precious and wonderful that I didn't know what to do. Then, when I remembered my precarious situation, I felt sorry for the baby.
'I wish I had been a better mother.'
I didn't have to worry about anything going wrong, but I was sorry that I couldn't give birth to my child with a healthier and stronger body, and I was sorry that I was a mother who didn't have a strong supporter.
I, who had nothing much, was determined to do whatever it took to give my love and attention to the child who had given me hope in life.
There was no way I could tell Kaian such secrets since he had not yet even told him about my pregnancy.
Moreover, if I revealed my inner feelings, I would be exposing my own shortcomings to the man who had grown up unaware of the shortcomings or deficiencies throughout my life, which somehow hurt my pride.
'I don't think anyone will understand what I say.'
Kaian believed that even the god of death could defeat him, and he actually was.
Perhaps he was a man who seemed to be on the opposite scale of my life.
Unlike me, whose life was harsh and impoverished, a man who rose to a glorious position, enjoying only the blessings and good fortune. He is a man who always wins and never seems to have the bitter taste of defeat. A lion with a full stomach will not be able to understand a rabbit that is hungry because there is no grass to eat.
“What kind of interference are you talking about?”
Kaian looked at me closely as I raised my voice angrily.
“Why are you so excited?”
“I’m sorry.”
I tried to contain my excitement.
“I tried my best to take care of my business, but you forced me to not do it.”
In this situation, I was the first to offer my apology. Even when my heart was hurt and I was being petty, the pride of a great man was such that he was taken care of by those around him.
So that he doesn't bow down first.
Soon Hannah came in, pushing a tray filled with nice-smelling tea and snacks.
'Not long ago I had a huge appetite.'
My morning sickness from eating seemed to be definitely over. This is because even looking at a small cake coated with chocolate and shiny on the outside does not whet my appetite.
Kaian dragged me to the table and filled my teacup with his own hands.
“You have a lot of time anyway. You can do the castle work gradually. Don’t act like someone who’s upset because you can’t work.”
That part was a critical error in his opinion. Kaian felt that there was enough time, but I suffered from a sense of goal that she had to achieve a certain amount of time 'until the baby was born.'
However, it happened because he did not know that Madam's authority was enough for Kaian to chase the servants out of the hallway in front of the room. Objectively, my reputation as a Madam in the castle could not have been better, but I was the only one who didn't know that and was anxious.
I decided to leave the topic.
“What brings you here? I thought you were with Your Majesty.”
“He said he was tired from the long journey, so he was going to take a shower and get some rest.”
“His Majesty, why did you come here?”
I asked what I had been curious about the whole time. Kain also had no reason to hold back on my questions because he thought I must have asked Valquiterre.
“He just came to rest.”
“Suddenly?”
I also asked almost exactly what Kaian had asked Valquiterre earlier.
“Valquiterre has many memories of this castle.”
He cut a cake into small pieces with a fork and put it in my mouth.
“Her Majesty Sylvia passed away around the same time that my parents passed away. He has never been to Rowen Castle since then.”
I listened to him as I took a sip of her tea. It has always been a secret that Valquiterre invited me to Promhunt, flirted with me, and went to the castle.
“I said he would take a break, but he can’t come to his house as he pleases. It was like this.”
“You say this is his home.”
“Valquiterre has been very fond of Rowen Castle since he was young. I think it might be because while he was staying here, he was able to escape from the Crown Prince’s education and have fun.”
“Did you just hang out when you went to the royal castle?”
Kaian looked at me with a straight face.
"No. Every time I visit the royal castle, Her Majesty Sylvia invites Valquiterre’s teachers to discuss politics.”
“Phew. Really?"
When I laughed out loud, the air between them that had been awkwardly stiff due to my coldness earlier loosened.
“And my mother asked Her Majesty to be a teacher of poetry and literature in the imperial palace.”
"Why?"
“I’m not good at that.”
I opened my eyes wide.
“Is there something you can’t do?”
“Actually, I haven’t even tried to do it. It wasn’t fun and I wasn’t interested.”
"I see."
I learned a side of Kaian that I didn't know about. Poetry has a lot of content about love and courtship, so it felt like it didn't fit well with Kaian. Because he was better suited to being praised rather than asking for something.
He reached out his hand and snatched a piece of chocolate from the corner of my mouth with his thumb and licked it.
“Isn’t a man who doesn’t have the eloquence to please a Lady’s heart a good idea?”
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment