“You were the one who didn’t want to shower together.”
“...”
I, who had been protesting fiercely, forgot what I was going to say and suddenly stopped.
Kaian had asked me to shower together several times, but strangely, it felt like that was something that would never be done.
So, I always avoided and refused, saying I didn't like it.
When he knew that I was in trouble, he was happy to force me and even begged me, so it was not as easy as it sounds to refuse to wash after clinging to each other in the same bed.
In the end, the fight ended only when I ran to the bathroom and locked the door.
Sometimes, if I fell asleep in the bathtub, I would wake up in bed cleanly washed and soft.
The thought of Kaian touching my body like that made my face feel hot and almost explode. However, since I couldn't remember the embarrassment of that time anyway, it was soon forgotten and treated as an exception.
I responded calmly to Kaian’s correct words.
“Who says we wash together?”
"Then?"
“I’m just saying I want to stay inside.”
Kaian's expression became even more puzzled as I spoke incoherently.
“In the bathroom.”
"Yes."
“...Why?"
Because I want to see it.
My eyes greedily turned to Kaian's exposed shoulders and chest. Kaian, feeling my gaze, came out of the water, covering his body with a towel with a look of bewilderment on his face.
“What’s the problem? How?"
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“I was avoiding you?”
I felt even more upset after seeing Kaian flinch after hitting him in the head. On one hand, I thought that now was an opportunity, and my accumulated dissatisfaction motivated me.
If you start making excuses like being busy or inspecting a manor - which was even a lie - there's no way to predict when, so I guess that's why we haven't even had a chance to talk about this in earnest.
“Kaian.”
I placed my hand on his chest and cupped his cheek with my other hand.
My eyes met the red eyes of the man who lowered his head. Kaian stared at me as if she were fascinated. But soon he took my hand and shook his head vigorously.
As our desire for each other seemed to disappear, I bit my lower lip in disappointment.
"No."
"What's wrong? Pretend you’re not avoiding me.”
I hugged Kaian’s waist.
“We do it.”
“What, what?”
“Let’s wash together.”
How long did it take for him to so coolly give me the one thing he had been asking for?
I was so desperate that I lost another fear as if I would do anything to seduce Kaian.
"Ha. It’s really driving me crazy.”
In an instant, Kaian wrapped his arms around my waist, lifted me halfway, and found my lips.
“...”
The passion I felt for the first time in a long time was sweet.
The sound of someone breathing loudly rang out in a bathroom filled with pleasant humidity.
I felt like I was about to cry as my husband's passion enveloped me to which I was accustomed. Just before my lips started to tingle, Kaiann's lips trailed across the tip of my chin and down the line of my neck. I sobbed softly and hugged Kaian tighter.
“I thought you hated me now.”
He made me realize that the lack of dislike was not the same as liking. So I knew that disliking it would not be the same as not liking it, but it was a different matter to me.
Even if I am his enemy, the man who faithfully fulfilled his duty by telling me that he should spend the night with me, is with me as if he likes me as much as I like him, but somehow avoids me.
I just felt like I was being hated.
I was embarrassed to see that even though I extended my hand to my husband first as if testing him, he avoided it.
Does he also spend time with Madame Marcel?
That wasn't the problem.
I couldn't help it if I ultimately had to part with him, but what mattered was whether Kaian was willing to be with me in the future.
“Don’t hate me. I won’t bother you.”
As I murmured in a wet voice, the man who had been pulling down my pajamas and kissing my shoulder stopped moving. I felt his breath on my collarbone and hugged him tighter as if embracing his head.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He released my arms and pulled away from me.
“Do you know how much I am patient with you?”
I tilted my head.
“I’m holding back.”
Feeling disappointed that the good time was coming to an end, I slowly kissed his neck and ran my hand from his nicely stretched collarbone to his thick shoulders.
“I’m holding on to it. You know?"
“What are you holding on to? What do you hold out for knowing?”
Kaian made a loud noise.
“I’m definitely holding back more!”
Then I also saw no reason to just listen, so I raised my voice.
“On the subject of provocation!”
“On the topic of running away!”
The two bickered as if we were arguing, and our voices gradually became closer to shouting.
"Ha. Cough. Cough.”
When I, who was out of breath, coughed, the air around me suddenly changed.
“Are you coughing again?”
“Cough.”
"Come on. You're wet too. Let’s change clothes so you don’t catch a cold.”
"No, I do not want."
I hugged Kaian and held on.
“You just need to keep it warm.”
Did you say that there is no tree that won't fall if you take it 10 times?
Despite all that he had endured so far, Kaian succumbed to my tricks.
“...During the treatment period, the doctor... He said no...”
Kaian spoke with difficulty, like a person on trial.
'What. Was that the problem?'
It wasn't because you didn't like me and were acting tired? Are you really saying that because of what the doctor said?
I wanted to check.
I stretched out my hand and caressed Kaian's cheek, the high bridge of his nose, and his lips with my fingertips. Every time my fingers brushed against him, Kaian closed his eyes and tried to hold something in him.
“Kaian.”
“...”
“I’ll keep this a secret from the doctor.”
Kaian's face distorted at what I said.
“That’s okay then.”
“...What happens?”
“Because I won’t tell anyone.”
"Never...”
Kaian played separately in his words and actions. In the end, he hugged me as he pulled me away.
"Ha. Claudel.”
When he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, the lack was filled.
“We just wash together.”
"Yes."
“I won’t do anything else.”
However, soon the water in the bathtub, unable to handle the heat of the two people, shook violently.
The next day, Kaian was able to start the day in a refreshed mood. In the hallway leading to his office, he spoke to himself in a satisfied mood.
“The air in the castle is very comfortable today.”
The servants who had been busy scrubbing the floor since morning looked at him with a gasp and began to open the windows in the hallway. When their eyes met, the servants bowed their heads and said,
"Sorry. It rained until dawn this morning so I didn't ventilate, My lord.”
“I will be careful next time.”
People who thought that Kaian, who has unusually sensitive senses, was pointing out the smell of stale air that had become stale due to lack of ventilation in an ironic way, quickly reported this to him.
"Yes."
Kaian, embarrassed, entered the office with his usual stern and cold face.
However, when he opened the door and went inside, he somehow noticed that the desk he used to sit at every day and the bookshelves lining the walls looked different depending on the day.
“What's going on? Did the butler order the housecleaning without telling me?”
As it was the lord's personal space, there were many important items, so even nobles were sensitive about cleaning the office.
The Duke of Vermont, who hoped that news of the funeral would arrive soon, was a small man and did not let anyone into his office and cleaned it himself.
Kaian's office was swept and cleaned by servants who had worked for the family for a long time under the supervision of the butler. They wore shirts and pants without pockets and were closely monitored to ensure no valuable items were hidden away.
“I didn’t hear the story.”
Still, he was puzzled because he asked Kaian's permission to pack important things and lock the drawers.
But today, something was different from usual. Even the sunlight falling on the back of the chair, drawing layers of lines along the folds of the curtain on the chair he sees every day, looked as beautiful as a famous painting.
“I'm thinking all sorts of random thoughts.”
Kaian was about to sit down but stood by the window for a moment and looked out.
Rowen was a blessed land.
The land, which had rained for the past few days, showed off its vitality as the early sun shone, bouncing off rays of light.
'When a child is born, he or she becomes the heir to this land.'
What he has done so far has been to become a major pillar supporting his family.
However, he vaguely thought of getting married someday, which he had been putting off, and when his wife had a child, he began to think about what happened next.
“I thought I had not yet become a great adult like my father and mother.”
As he continued to concentrate on Claudel and the child, he faintly reached enlightenment.
You don't become a parent just because you're an adult. Having a child only gives you the opportunity to become a true adult.
Kaian opened the window with his own hands.
Then, the bustling noise of the castle in the early morning was heard from afar, and a fragrant smell that suggested what breakfast was was wafted out.
When he imagined giving this peaceful and fertile land into the hands of a child like a gift, it felt as if a being of unknown gender who resembled him at some moments and at other times resembled Claudel was smiling at him from afar.
Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, he closed the window and sat down.
After a while, the butler came with tea.
“Are you awake, My Lord?”
"Yes."
“You seem to be in a good mood today.”
At the butler's words, Kaian unconsciously twitched the corner of his lips. It was true that he felt good.
“Did you clean the office without saying anything?”
“Cleaning? When you returned to the capital, you cleaned out the empty office. I haven’t done it since.”
The butler straightened his posture and asked.
“Shall we clean?”
“You didn’t clean it?”
When Kaian questioned, the butler asked cautiously.
“Are there any missing items or valuables?”
“...During the treatment period, the doctor... He said no...”
Kaian spoke with difficulty, like a person on trial.
'What. Was that the problem?'
It wasn't because you didn't like me and were acting tired? Are you really saying that because of what the doctor said?
I wanted to check.
I stretched out my hand and caressed Kaian's cheek, the high bridge of his nose, and his lips with my fingertips. Every time my fingers brushed against him, Kaian closed his eyes and tried to hold something in him.
“Kaian.”
“...”
“I’ll keep this a secret from the doctor.”
Kaian's face distorted at what I said.
“That’s okay then.”
“...What happens?”
“Because I won’t tell anyone.”
"Never...”
Kaian played separately in his words and actions. In the end, he hugged me as he pulled me away.
"Ha. Claudel.”
When he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, the lack was filled.
“We just wash together.”
"Yes."
“I won’t do anything else.”
However, soon the water in the bathtub, unable to handle the heat of the two people, shook violently.
***
The next day, Kaian was able to start the day in a refreshed mood. In the hallway leading to his office, he spoke to himself in a satisfied mood.
“The air in the castle is very comfortable today.”
The servants who had been busy scrubbing the floor since morning looked at him with a gasp and began to open the windows in the hallway. When their eyes met, the servants bowed their heads and said,
"Sorry. It rained until dawn this morning so I didn't ventilate, My lord.”
“I will be careful next time.”
People who thought that Kaian, who has unusually sensitive senses, was pointing out the smell of stale air that had become stale due to lack of ventilation in an ironic way, quickly reported this to him.
"Yes."
Kaian, embarrassed, entered the office with his usual stern and cold face.
However, when he opened the door and went inside, he somehow noticed that the desk he used to sit at every day and the bookshelves lining the walls looked different depending on the day.
“What's going on? Did the butler order the housecleaning without telling me?”
As it was the lord's personal space, there were many important items, so even nobles were sensitive about cleaning the office.
The Duke of Vermont, who hoped that news of the funeral would arrive soon, was a small man and did not let anyone into his office and cleaned it himself.
Kaian's office was swept and cleaned by servants who had worked for the family for a long time under the supervision of the butler. They wore shirts and pants without pockets and were closely monitored to ensure no valuable items were hidden away.
“I didn’t hear the story.”
Still, he was puzzled because he asked Kaian's permission to pack important things and lock the drawers.
But today, something was different from usual. Even the sunlight falling on the back of the chair, drawing layers of lines along the folds of the curtain on the chair he sees every day, looked as beautiful as a famous painting.
“I'm thinking all sorts of random thoughts.”
Kaian was about to sit down but stood by the window for a moment and looked out.
Rowen was a blessed land.
The land, which had rained for the past few days, showed off its vitality as the early sun shone, bouncing off rays of light.
'When a child is born, he or she becomes the heir to this land.'
What he has done so far has been to become a major pillar supporting his family.
However, he vaguely thought of getting married someday, which he had been putting off, and when his wife had a child, he began to think about what happened next.
“I thought I had not yet become a great adult like my father and mother.”
As he continued to concentrate on Claudel and the child, he faintly reached enlightenment.
You don't become a parent just because you're an adult. Having a child only gives you the opportunity to become a true adult.
Kaian opened the window with his own hands.
Then, the bustling noise of the castle in the early morning was heard from afar, and a fragrant smell that suggested what breakfast was was wafted out.
When he imagined giving this peaceful and fertile land into the hands of a child like a gift, it felt as if a being of unknown gender who resembled him at some moments and at other times resembled Claudel was smiling at him from afar.
Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, he closed the window and sat down.
After a while, the butler came with tea.
“Are you awake, My Lord?”
"Yes."
“You seem to be in a good mood today.”
At the butler's words, Kaian unconsciously twitched the corner of his lips. It was true that he felt good.
“Did you clean the office without saying anything?”
“Cleaning? When you returned to the capital, you cleaned out the empty office. I haven’t done it since.”
The butler straightened his posture and asked.
“Shall we clean?”
“You didn’t clean it?”
When Kaian questioned, the butler asked cautiously.
“Are there any missing items or valuables?”
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment