ICTV - Chapter 83
I change The Villain
"After listening to the story, he said that he had a lot of things going on these days and that I kept annoying him so he had no choice but to speak harshly. But not anymore. Now that the matter has been resolved, we can be happy again like before."
He used to be ignored.
"So I just closed my eyes and decided to forgive!"
He is also used to losing strength.
"Thank you for listening to me so far! We will live happily ever after!"
He is also accustomed to failure. Edgar smiled faintly at the truly happy woman.
"That's really good. It makes me happy to see My Lady happy."
"Yes! Then I'll just go! He's waiting in front of the temple!"
All you have to do is think, "I can do better next time and move forward again.
But, but..
Edgar crushed the two snowballs between his palms.
He doesn't have the strength to move forward today. He thought this world really needed at least one person like him, but maybe that wasn't true. In the end, he is just an ordinary human being influenced by someone and a weak human being who is blocked by the wall of limitations and cannot go any further.
Edgar, who was slowly sinking into a swamp of depression, belatedly remembered that Violet was by his side and regained his stability.
Oh, he can't believe he's depressed with other people around him. What is this?
Edgar put his hand away and blinked rapidly. He needs to calm down and accept it sooner, even if just for a second. Because it's an absolute fact. Because accepting the fact that he's an ordinary human being does not mean that the world will change. Rather, use this as a stepping stone for growth and learn how to help others more efficiently...
No, do they really need his help in the first place?
Edgar thought of the woman who had smiled so happily earlier.
Just as the standard of unhappiness is different for each person, the standard for happiness is also different for each person. Until now, hasn't he been forcing his standards of happiness on people?
Edgar suddenly felt skeptical and closed his eyes. As expected, he just
want to be alone today.
Edgar said to Violet.
"Shall we just break up? You said today was the day to send the manuscript to the publisher."
"Oh, not really."
"Miss! Miss!!"
Violet's maid, holding a thick envelope, came running in a huff. The
maid was one of the few people who knew that Violet wrote novels. Edgar looked at her maid in surprise.
"I finally found it. Miss, the manuscript I sent to the publisher came back quickly."
"...Why?"
"Well, according to the publisher, it's really, really fun, but the main character's personality seems too unconventional. People might be repulsed, so you just change the personality a little to appease them. Other than that, there's nothing to fix."
Violet looked down at the manuscript envelope in silence. The maid looked at Violet.
"Well, what do you want to do? Would you like to go straight to the mansion?"
"No. You go back alone."
"Yes."
The maid bowed low and stepped away. Violet let out a laugh.
"... This world is too conservative."
"Are you okay?"
"Of course it's okay. It's not because my work isn't interesting, it's because this world is conservative."
Violet fanned herself with the en
velope.
"But I can't help being sad."
"... Would you like to eat something?"
"Are you saying we should part ways for today?"
Edgar said, trying to suppress his depressed mood.
"I don't think I should send you back now."
"Okay, let's do it."
Edgar held out his arm to Violet.
Violet placed her hand on his arm and headed toward the carriage.
***
"Sometimes it feels mean."
"What?"
Raindrops lightly hit the window. Because it is the rainy season, it rains all the time. Violet closed the menu she had been examining carefully.
"Even if something bad happens to me, the world keeps going."
"..."
"I realize how distant I am in this world."
Edgar spoke in a calm tone.
"It's something that can't be helped."
"I know me too. It's something that can't be helped."
Violet rested her chin and looked out the window.
"At that time, I thought that no matter how hard I worked, I would eventually become nothing more than dust, and the world was so cruel. Do you ever have times like that?"
"Of course, there are a lot. Because I am also human first."
People don't seem to know that, though.
Edgar, who skipped the afterword, reopened the menu that Violet had covered.
"Have you chosen what to eat?"
"No."
Violet twirled the quill between her fingers.
"You choose."
"Yes?"
"It's difficult to choose a menu today. Just order what you like."
"It won't be difficult. Great."
Edgar willingly accepted and then glanced at the menu. Violet's favorite food was sweet and spicy. Then it would be better to make it with chicken.
At this restaurant, chicken is cooked with a sweet and spicy sauce. The drink would be Violet's favorite lemonade. For dessert, a cake with lemon would be nice.
After smoothly deciding on the menu, Edgar called the clerk and ordered the dishes. After a while, Violet put the quill and paper aside when it was time to serve the food.
Violet let out something unclear whether it was a sigh or an exclamation.
"They're all things I like."
"I'm glad that's the case."
"I thought I told you to order what you like. Has my memory gone wrong?"
"I don't have a particular favorite. I tend to eat just about anything. So I ordered what you like, is that okay?"
"It's not good enough."
She's so grateful that she feels sorry.
Violet looked at the steaming chicken dish. Edgar held up a familiar tong and placed a large piece of chicken leg on a plate. And he placed it in front of Violet. As if it were very obvious. He tried to give Violet some too, but Edgar shook his head.
"I will eat it with my own hands. Don't worry about it, just eat it."
Violet had no choice but to lift her fork and ask another question.
"Then what do you dislike? Even if you don't like something, there is something you don't like, right?"
"I told you earlier. I say he eats most things well. There's nothing in particular I don't like."
"I see. There's nothing I particularly like or dislike, so I'm giving everything up to others."
"Yes, that's right."
Now that she thinks about it, she thinks that kid was like this too. Violet unconsciously muttered to herself.
"The more I look at you, the more you resemble her."
"Yes?"
"Hey."
Violet stabbed the tender chicken with a fork.
"Before the CSAT, no, there was a very, very important event, right? I went to eat fried chicken to cheer myself up before the event. When I went out to eat with other kids, we would fight to get even one more piece, but there was no need for that at all with that kid."
"Why?"
"She put the chicken legs on my plate as soon as the food came out, as she was used to. And then she says."
Violet closed her eyes. Even now, she remembers it as vividly as if she heard it yesterday.
'Eat this and eat other chicken legs if you want.'
'What? Why? It's not any other part, it's chicken legs. You have to eat one as a humane thing."
'I like any part.'
It was heartbreaking to see her chewing a piece of chicken with no expression while saying that. Violet didn't know why then, but he did now.
"She was so used to being taken away or given away that she gave up being greedy."
Edgar's eyes slowly widened.
"What? Everyone says being greedy is a bad thing."
Violet continued speaking after taking a sip of lemonade.
"It's a problem if you don't have too much greed."
"..."
"Sometimes you have to be greedy to get what you want."
Edgar, who had been listening without saying a word, softened the corners of his mouth.
"That is absolutely correct."
"Right?"
"However..."
Edgar became quite serious.
"The reason you're saying that now is because you're worried about me?"
"... What?"
Violet was so dumbfounded that she almost dropped her drink glass. Violet, who had barely managed to fix her drink glass, asked another question.
"Are you seriously asking?"
"That's natural."
No, the person who used to guess everything without being told is now asking questions that even a three-year-old would know. Edgar asked again.
"Are you really worried about me?"
"Yes. Even when choosing food, I was worried because you were the type of person who would adapt to each other's tastes. What should I do? Is that so amazing? Just like someone who's been worried for the first time."
"Oh, how did you know?"
Violet froze.
"You're very perceptive too. I received it for the first time today."
Clink.
Violet quickly dropped her drink glass. The clerk came rushing over.
"I'm glad you didn't get anything on your dress."
The clerk cleaned up the broken glass, gave him a napkin, and walked away.
Edgar wiped the drink that splattered on Violet's arm. Violet snatched the napkin from Edgar's hand.
"Are you still concerned about that?"
"But once a dress gets stained, it may not be able to be removed."
"Don't worry about that! Are you serious about what you just said?!"
"I don't lie for personal reasons. The lies I can tell are white lies."
"Why? How many people are around you? How can you live without ever hearing someone say, 'I'm worried that you've been overexerting yourself these days'?!"
Violet was angry as if it were her own business. Edgar looked up at Violet, still smiling.
"Are you now looking at me with that precious friend?"
"Stop analyzing during this! No, it's not entirely wrong!"
Violet stumbled and grabbed her forehead.
"You're really annoying."
Edgar tilted his head.
"Because I look so much like that friend?"
"... So, don't analyze during this time!"
Violet exclaimed after taking a shot of the new drink the clerk brought her.
"In times like this, you just have to say what you want to say! I'm not a soft-spoken person, and I don't know anyone but you!"
Edgar just blinked his eyes.
"What do you want to say?"
"Yes! There's no risk of rumors spreading, so just say it!"
It was the same as before and it is still the same now. Edgar can't believe he's hearing from someone else what he always says to others. It felt really new, but Edgar didn't say anything.
Because he still felt like she was looking at himself and that friend. If it weren't for that friend, she wouldn't have been angry about his work as if it were her own, right?
Edgar tried to imagine what Violet's friend was like, but he stopped.
Edgar was worried. After all, is there no one anywhere who can completely understand this pain?
Still, he thinks it would be good for his mental health to talk about it a little bit. If Violet had known, 'Are you analyzing yourself now that you have nothing to analyze?'
Edgar opened his mouth thinking. She is so different.
"Do you know what people call me?"
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