ICTV - Chapter 84
I change The Villain
Violet, who was still fuming, stopped. Edgar fingered and recited his nicknames one by one.
"The messenger of Harmonia, the angel who descended to earth, the red-eyed Saint, the true savior, these are all nicknames I deserve."
"No way."
"Yes, that's true."
Edgar folded his fingers back and continued.
"People don't see me as a human being at all."
"..."
"They see me as an omnipotent being. Isn't it strange? If I were God, I wouldn't have believed in Harmonia from the beginning."
"Yes, because God couldn't believe in God."
As Edgar said that, sadness appeared in his eyes.
"People think it's okay no matter what happens to me or what I hear. They think of me as a supernatural being. I'm really just an ordinary person. Sometimes I'm exhausted, sometimes I'm hurt."
"..."
"But I have no intention of giving up on this. Hold on as long as I can."
Before Edgar finished speaking, Violet got up from her seat. Edgar reflexively closed his mouth.
"Why do you endure it?"
Violet's body was trembling.
"You just have to say it."
"Yes?"
"Until people understand, you can say it's hard, or you can just grab someone else and complain. If you endured it for so long, there would be no return."
Edgar immediately denied it.
"How can I do that? There is nothing more cruel than revealing your personal feelings when talking to others. As I said before, I have no intention of giving up on this job."
Violet's speech became faster.
"If you look at each person's perspective and understand them, what about you? What is your position?"
"Violet. First, let's calm down a little..."
"No matter how important it is, it can't be more important than yourself!"
Violet's face was so distorted that it wouldn't be surprising if she burst into tears at any moment. Violet shouted angrily.
"You really answered...!"
But Violet couldn't finish her sentence. This is because Violet covered her mouth with both hands.
Edgar looked at Violet in silence. Violet was still shaking. She felt despair, anger, regret, and many other emotions.
"Look, you know it right now."
"..."
"You have to be careful about what you say in front of a tired person. I'm sure this is also thanks to that friend."
Edgar recalled Violet's novel he read last time. He only read a few pages, but it was a really fun and great novel. Edgar could tell as he read the novel. The fact that Violet was born with everything and never fell. Great parents and an affluent environment. And dazzling talent.
She was born with everything that other people couldn't be born with. People who have never fallen don't know how much it hurts when they fall. So, they sometimes hurt others without malicious intent.
Edgar looked at Violet carefully. In the past, there was a high probability that that person lived like the people of his family.
He's so glad that he cared for Violet enough that he didn't want to share his misfortune. Otherwise, Violet would have lived a life of more regret than she does now.
Edgar looked at Violet, who was still covering her mouth. He said it clearly before. People like Violet sometimes hurt people without malicious intent. How can he hurt without malice?
It hurts the other person by saying only idealistic and correct things without any consideration of their current situation. Wouldn't it be because you don't want to do that to the other person?
Even if he wants to, he can't because there are so many things that get in the way. If you say something like that to someone who is in a bad situation, it will only make them miserable instead of comforting them. Especially when someone like Violet, who was born with everything, says something like that.
In that case, the best and best way is to just quietly listen or comfort them.
However, Edgar was a person who could read other people's true intentions and a good person who could tell others what they wanted to hear.
Edgar opened his mouth.
"But what you just said is not wrong."
Edgar began to tell Violet what she wanted to hear.
"Right now, I've said that to people hundreds or thousands of times. But I really can't do that. People need to see me now. And I need to know."
The fact is that the person you praise so much is in fact the most incompetent person.
Edgar pressed his chest lightly. He was spewing out the truth to comfort Violet, but speaking it made his heart sink.
He's truly more exhausted than he imagined.
But it never occurred to him that he needed to take a break from work. Edgar thought of people who found new lives through his advice.
"There are people who depend on me."
If there is a shaded area, there is also a sunny area. If there are people who don't listen to anything he says, there are also people who faithfully follow him no matter what he says. And above all.
'Isn't it because my parents taught me to pray when I'm upset, and that I should help people live in harmony?'
There is nothing more volatile and variable than the human lifespan. It wouldn't be surprising if he got into an accident and died tomorrow. So he has to prove it to himself by doing as much as he can while his heart is beating.
That he's different from the elders of his family. Even if he has been influenced, he can still live differently from those people.
He will never live like those people.
The moment Edgar remembered once again the promise he had made since he was young, sunlight came through the window.
"... Is it that important?"
The rain had already stopped. The sunlight, which would normally have felt warm, was dazzling today. So much so that it hurts his eyes.
Edgar answered, unconsciously covering his eyes with his palms.
"Of course. It's really important."
"Yes, I see. She said that too."
Violet lowered the arm covering her mouth. Thanks to this. Edgar was able to clearly see what kind of expression Violet was making.
Violet's expression was still full of negative energy. Violet muttered in a resigned voice.
"... I still don't understand."
"Violet."
Edgar reflexively tried to comfort Violet and realized that he was starving. It's only natural since he's only had a few sips of water since entering this restaurant.
Right now, Edgar's plate was clean without a single stain. The food, which had barely been touched, looked very delicious even though it had been cold for a long time.
But instead of holding the fork, Edgar put his hand on Violet's back.
"It's natural that you don't understand me. So don't blame yourself."
So, once again, Edgar chose to prioritize others over himself. He didn't know that he could never eat the food that the clerk removed.
"...You come here to eat, but you leave without even eating."
By the time the two left the restaurant, the sun had already set. Violet was devastated. Edgar immediately thought of another restaurant nearby.
"Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something at another restaurant?"
"It's okay. Just eat a sandwich at the mansion. There is still more work to be done."
Violet made sure her belongings were in order.
"Let's part ways here."
"Great."
After confirming that nothing was missing, Violet passed by Edgar. Edgar, who was left alone, was also looking around to catch the carriage.
"Hey."
Violet, who was ahead, stopped walking. Edgar tilted his head.
"Do you still have anything left to say?"
"Huh."
Violet half-turned her body.
"I know how much you love helping people. I also understand how hard they work to treat everyone equally."
"I'm glad my true feelings reached you."
"Still...."
Violet, who was hesitant, soon put on a determined face. She then turned her body completely so that she was facing Edgar.
"I'm sure someday you will too."
"What?"
"I'm sure one day there will be someone you can't treat like everyone else."
"That means..."
Does this mean he will at least fall in love?
Violet looked down at Edgar as she got into the carriage.
"To prepare for that time, it would be a good idea to learn little by little how to live selfishly."
At that time, he will want to know only that one person and hug only that one person.
Edgar laughed without even realizing it. Is he only going to want to hug one person? A person and no one else?
He was finally able to come this far after enduring bone-crushing pain.
Edgar responded with a laughing voice.
"There is no way I can destroy what I have built so far with my own hands."
"..."
Even if that happens, it doesn't matter. If you persevere and persevere, you will somehow get over the hurdle.
Edgar stroked his hair.
"Why do you think that?"
Still, let's hear the reason. When Edgar asked. Violet answered calmly.
"You said it with your own mouth earlier. In the end, you are just a human being. Far from omniscience and omnipotence."
"Of course, I said that."
Violet raised the corners of her mouth.
"That's why. You are like this now, but no one knows what will happen in the future, right?"
An old story came to mind that Harmonia did not give humans the ability to prophesy. Edgar once again felt that the story was believable. Because even now, he heard something unexpected.
Then Violet spoke.
"Let's eat together tomorrow too."
"Do you want to eat tomorrow too?"
Why has she said something so close to a curse? Edgar tilted his head.
"Aren't you angry at me?"
"Oh, right. But I told you. You look like my friend."
"..."
"I can't possibly leave you alone."
Violet twisted her hair for no reason.
"Are you in a bad mood? Is that why I'm attached to you?"
"No, itdoes not matter. No matter the intention, a good deed is a good deed. I'm just curious. How precious was that friend?"
Violet answered without hesitation.
"No matter how much time passes, it will never fade as much as that child."
"... It's a feeling I can never have."
"Yeah, you'll never know now."
"Aren't you saying this too clearly?"
"Then what should I do? It's true."
"That too."
Edgar's heart ached. For some reason. He just said that a little while ago.
Edgar pressed his chest. For the sake of his dreams, it is better not to know any special feelings for the rest of his life. As always, everyone is treated equally...
But the pain in his chest did not go away at all. In fact, it was getting worse. It got so bad that he could no longer maintain his expression.
The face, which had always been without an ounce of falsehood, was covered by the palm of one's hand. The back, which was always upright, also became bent.
Violet patted his back with her palm a few times.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm okay. It may feel a little rude, though."
Edgar spoke in an earnest voice.
"Please return to the mansion."
Because he thinks he needs to be alone now.
Violet had no choice but to withdraw her hand. Violet adjusted her bag.
"Next time, I hope you choose your favorite food."
Edgar didn't say anything. But Violet shrugged her shoulders without any sign of disappointment. Violet got into the carriage and disappeared in an instant. Edgar put down his hand only after the carriage had completely disappeared.
"... There's no one anymore."
Edgar took a long breath and sat down on the bench across from him.
Now he doesn't have to worry about anyone or analyze anyone's feelings. It is a very valuable time to catch his breath.
But now... Edgar opened his closed eyes.
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